Randi's Random Rantings

The Help Haiku Friday

2012-02-03T08:14:00.000-08:00

Never read the book
But I'll say the movie's great
The acting superb
***
I laughed and I cried
And marveled this was "real life"
We've come a long way
***
One Oscar nom down
That leaves 8 more to watch now
Doubt it'll happen

PS: If anyone has and wants to loan me this book? I would love to borrow it. Thanks!

Bubba the Bunny

2012-02-02T09:09:00.000-08:00

Husband and I are pet people. Growing up, I had a fish, a lizard, a bunny, a cat and two dogs. He grew up on a farm and was a hunter so he has just sort of always been around animals. When we first moved in together, we had The Cat but we all know how that story ended. Then it was just Kiyah and in October she had to be put down. If you've always had an animal around, not having one seems very odd. We weren't ready to get another dog and a cat was out of the question so we decided to get a bunny.
When I lived in LA a million years ago, a girl I knew had a bunny that was potty trained. It hopped around her house and used a litter box and I thought that was super neat. When I had a bunny, it lived in a cage outside and was not very social at all but I always imagined getting a bunny just like hers. Husband did some research and found a farm via craigslist and took the boy out there and came home with a Mini Rex bunny of our own. It was $40 but its house and food ended up running about $100 more.
At first its name was Beaux but that was too close to "no" for Casey's comfort. In an effort to say "bunny", Casey said "Bubba" and thus the bunny's new name was born. I figured this bunny would just be chill and hop around the house but for the most part I assumed it would ignore us. Man, was I wrong. This bunny is all up in our business. It comes up to you to be pet and will even hop on your lap if you are sitting on the ground. Recently, I was lying on my stomach on the floor and it hopped up on my butt and walked around on my back. Last night, it jumped from the floor onto the couch so I would pet him. Bunnies also like to climb. I did not know this but it'll perch right up on my shoulder if I let it.
All it does other than run around our house and wreak havoc is shit and eat. Good lord. I thought a once a week cage cleaning was all that was in my future but it looks like it's a three-times-a-weeker. Thank goodness it only goes potty in its cage though. I rarely find accidents outside of the cage. It eats carrots and popcorn and celery. Yesterday, it stole one of Casey's goldfish crackers and Casey took it right back out of its mouth and ate it. Casey doesn't fear the bunny at all. He pets it and it sits on his lap. I often find the two of them reading books together in the morning. It's just out of control. So there you have it. I just thought you should know my bunny is a weirdo.

Mexican Lasagna

2012-02-01T08:46:00.000-08:00

1 lb. lean ground beef
1 medium onion
2 garlic cloves
1 small can of Ortega diced green chilies
1 small can of corn drained
2 heaping teaspoons (regular not the measuring kind) of chili powder
1 tsp cumin
1 can of Mexican style stewed tomatoes (14 oz.)
1 small can tomato sauce
8 corn tortillas
8 oz. sour cream
8 oz. bag of pre-shredded Mexican cheese
1 can black olives

Preheat oven to 375.

In one pan, saute the onion and garlic in vegetable oil until soft. Fry the hamburger alone in another pan until almost done and drain most of the fat. Add the spices to the hamburger, fry a little more. Add the tomatoes, sauce, chilies, corn and the onion/garlic saute to the meat and heat it all the way through.

In a 13x9 casserole dish, put a layer of the hamburger mixture down. On top, add a layer of corn tortillas. I quartered the pieces. Repeat. Top the whole shebang with sour cream, top that with cheese and garnish with black olives (only I hate olives and didn't let them sully my dish).
Cover with tin foil and bake for 25 minutes.
Remove foil and bake for 20 minutes more. Let sit for 10 minutes before serving.
MORAL OF THIS STORY: When BFF's Mom gives you a recipe, you better make it. Even if you NEVER cook. I made this and my family ate it and we all lived to tell the tale.

So Long, January

2012-01-31T09:24:00.000-08:00

What more fitting way is there to bid adieu to a month than going for a blood draw and urine sample at the start of your day? Looking back on the month I'd say a lot has gone one. Casey and I went up to my old stomping grounds at Camp Ramah to bid adieu to an old friend and co-worker who moved from LA to NY. We joined some friends in celebrating their son's first birthday. We hung with some new friends at BFF's pad to watch Green Bay blow their playoff game. Then we closed it out with that trip to Big Bear. Not too shabby.
Casey had a doctor's visit that was the most excruciating thing to ever happen to him. Apparently stripping down to get on a scale is as cataclysmic an event for a one year old as it is for my fat ass. Ha! I saw the OBGYN and he told me to get knocked up again because he was "optimistic" and I decided to go back on the ring. I saw my primary physician and he is the one that sent me for today's blood draw. He apparently saw how much weight I have gained and thought it best to check my cholesterol and thyroid. Always a good time. I had this feeling like I had just been to the phlebotomist and I couldn't figure out why. When I got there, I realized I had just been there for the pregnancy screening and it gave me a case of the sadz but not too heavy because I'm on Prozac again.
Yup. Prozac. I gave in. I guess I just have to accept that there is something off kilter in my system and I just need something to help level me out. Yesterday was the first Monday in a long time that I didn't lose my shit at work. I think Bossman may have noticed something was off because he really tried to get my goat a couple times but I just didn't give in. Ultimately, I think Prozac just keeps me from being super passionate about dumb shit. Does that make sense? So something that normally wouldn't really bother a "normal" person, will drive me crazy mad. Yeah. I don't know. I'm on it and we'll see how it goes I guess.

Big Bear In Pictures

2012-01-30T12:37:00.000-08:00

The kids watching Yo Gabba Gabba and co-existing nicely.

41 bottles of beer on the wall! 41 bottles of beer!

Casey at Big Bear Lake with the ducks

Finished that puzzle like a boss!

Nature.

One thing I love about being in SoCal is that I can be at the beach in a matter of minutes and on a snowy mountain top by a lake in a matter of a few hours. What I love most about SoCal, though, is that now little trips like these with BFF & Co. are things we actually get to do instead of talk about doing now that they're no longer in NY. Sasha and Casey are only 2 months apart and it's really neat that they get to grow up together. This weekend was so chill. We got to drink beer and play games and sit in a hot tub and watch the kids play. I mean, dang. What a nice way to end January.

Thomas Crapper Haiku Friday

2012-01-27T09:01:00.000-08:00

Three glasses of wine
Plus first period in months
A killer headache
***
Santa Ana winds
Just might bring that headache back
In time for Big Bear
***
Haven't been out there
Since I was in 7th grade
Should be a fun time

Good, Bad, Ugly

2012-01-26T09:02:00.000-08:00

The Good

Casey let me sleep until quarter to 7 today! After several pre-6 wake ups, this is epic.
Spending this weekend in Big Bear with BFF & Co.
My period came back!

The Bad

Getting a bill for $155 for the "interpretation of your biopsy or specimen"
Coming to the realization that I must go back on Prozac after one too many mood swings.
Accompanying the return of the period is the return of the Nuvaring as I have decided that another child is definitely not something I want but condom-less sex is.

The Ugly

Casey's temperament for the past week because he's had a cold.
How much our bunny poops.
220 on the scale.

Movie Review Monday

2012-01-23T11:51:00.000-08:00

I've fallen a bit behind on the reviews and I'll blame playoff football games for this. Hopefully with the season winding down I'll get back on track. Because really? I don't care about the fucking Patriots going to the Superbowl AGAIN and I'm a bit butt hurt about San Francisco losing because that was at least a California team that I might be able to root for.
Speaking of San Francisco, that's where Rise of the Planet of the Apes is filmed. The only reason I put this on the queue is because it is awards season and everyone is raving about the job Andy Serkis of Golum fame did making lead ape Caesar come to life. Both his performance and the CGI effects are noteworthy indeed. The cast was pretty solid. I think James Franco is lucky he's had the solid roles he's had but I'm not sure he's the best actor. Every time I see John Lithgow I think of Harry and the Hendersons. Frieda Pinto was super pretty. Draco Malfoy had a cameo and got to do the "damn dirty ape" line from the original.
Basically this movie is about a bunch of monkeys that get a hold of some brain enhancing meds and break lose in San Francsico. Supposedly this is the prequel of the other Planet of the Apes movies and I have to admit I have seen none of them. This one's got a lot of back story and Alzheimer talk when in reality all you want to see is apes doing some damage. If you're patient enough, you get to see some serious shit go down on the Golden Gate Bridge. That's about all I can say about this movie. Yup.

Haiku Friday

2012-01-20T09:22:00.001-08:00

Got some sleep last night
Husband took Casey duty
Praise Baby Jesus
***
Doctor this a.m.
Asked me if I was pregnant
Not "still" but "again"
***
Freaked me the fuck out
Bought a test at CVS
Rest assured, I'm not

Good, Bad, Ugly

2012-01-19T15:29:00.001-08:00

The Good

Tomorrow is Friday and I don't have a single plan for the weekend.
I actually did the rollover from one retirement plan to the other without fucking up my taxes!
Our lunch was super late today so I got a free cupcake. Better than nothing.

The Bad

Casey's sick which means neither of us is sleeping. Still.
Facebook lately. What's with all the inspirational quotes and pictures of inspirational quotes that should be on Pinterest instead of clogging up my feed? And why does it bother me so much?
My mood, essentially.

The Ugly

After eating salads and fruits for several days, the gas my body is producing is simply inexcusable.
How Casey's cough sounds like a dog barking and how his face is consistently covered in snot and drool.
My mood, essentially. Both bad and ugly. Yup. I'm aware.

The Pursuit of Happiness

2012-01-18T10:47:00.000-08:00

I wonder when that was written for our Declaration of Independence, if the writer knew that the attainment of happiness was a far fetched idea. Like, you can try for it but I wouldn't expect it. I've been thinking a lot of the "idea" of happiness. Here are a couple definitions:

a : a state of well-being and contentment : joy
b : a pleasurable or satisfying experience
Is happiness fleeting? Is that what that means? One is a "state" and the other is an "experience" and neither of them scream "permanence" to me. What I read is that ultimately there are only moments of happiness but ultimately it's going to be a majority of bad experiences or mediocrity? Is it futile to expect more?
I really hope the feelings I am having this week are caused by PMS (please, God!) otherwise I may have reason to worry. My son has entered a stage in his life where he must cry or have some kind of fit just about all of the time. Sure, there are moments of laughter and playfulness but ultimately, he is a struggle. With him entering this stage of his life in addition to having no spousal support in the home, I'm starting to feel unhappy more often. So often, in fact, that I wonder sometimes if it is permanent.
With my home life being a struggle, my sleep suffers. When my sleep suffers, my mood is affected. When my mood is affected, my relationships become tense. This not only affects my relationship with Husband but with my family, friends and co-workers. Because I am the kind of person that tends to air her dirty laundry, I worry about how I am perceived by the friends I vent to. It's a vicious cycle and I'm exhausted by it.
In yesterday's comments, Jessica told me I should give myself some slack because it had been a rough year. It's entirely possible I'm simply being too hard on myself. I may be expecting too much as well. Lately it's been harder to be optimistic and count my blessings, though. Lately, I'm just tired.

MORAL OF THAT STORY: I'd rather lay it out here than be Debby Downer on Facebook.

Reflections on a Tuesday

2012-01-17T09:14:00.000-08:00

I'm in a better frame of mind about food and being fat than I was yesterday. I stood on the scale after my shower and it was less than I thought it would be, although not by much, so I've decided to let that be a catalyst for good behavior. I didn't eat candy at work yesterday and instead snacked on fruit. I only had one beer last night as opposed to the couple I usually have. Today it's been oatmeal and almond milk and I brought some more fruit and my salad for lunch. I also really like April's idea of halving my portions. Such a simple thing to do! While I'm trying to avoid eating out, this is probably essential when I do. Husband is a fan of filling the huge dishes we have with servings of food so perhaps I need to be the one serving myself.
Eventually, I have to find some way to exercise. Walking before work is not an option because I am not in the mood to drag Casey out in the morning. Walking after work is a struggle because it is still pretty dark pretty early. I have not yet used the Wii Fit I swore I would use because frankly I'm not sure how. There seem to be treadmills on Craigslist but I need to wait until tax returns before I commit to that big of a purchase. I keep thinking I'd like to walk on my lunch hour but I've yet to figure that out either. I own yoga DVDs but actually putting them in? Yeah...#whitepeopleproblems
Sleepless nights affect me more than I should let them. I believe this is another reason to not have a second child. Since last Thursday, I've had interrupted sleep or very early wake ups. Last night, Casey was to blame because he has a cough that is apparently cataclysmic to an almost 17-month old. I do not have the patience to deal with this sort of thing. I ponder often if this is why I was on Prozac or if it's just OK to be that irritated. It tends to seep over to Husband, too. It's definitely something I'm struggling with because I do not want to go back on Prozac but I don't want to dislike my family.
If my period ever comes, I have decided that I am definitely going back on the Nuvaring. I don't think I love the idea of hormones but I definitely do not want an "accident." This Friday will be 5 weeks since the miscarriage... I wonder if it will be soon... Maybe this accounts for my awesome mood?
Thankfully, I am sorting all of this out prior to my doctor's appointment this Friday. I'm also quite proud of myself for sort of actually sticking to my new year's resolution of getting healthy. Husband bought two packages of Double-Stuf Oreos because they were on sale and I haven't even LOOKED at them. Silver linings and small achievements, people.

Morbidly Obese Monday

2012-01-16T10:31:00.000-08:00

Funny how that kind of spells MOM right? Because I am both a mom and morbidly obese this Monday? OK, maybe I won't go that far but I am definitely pushing it. Whether I claim 5'7" or 5'8" (I'm somewhere in between, I think), the old BMI definitely says obese. I really have no excuse for this other than sheer laziness and gluttony. I don't exercise and basically I eat whatever I want, whenever I want it. Or don't want it as is what happened this morning.
Seems like every Monday I stake a claim that today is going to be the day the diet begins. Today started off innocently enough. I packed my bag for work with my oatmeal squares and almond milk in my attempt to lower my cholesterol before I have to see my primary physician on the 20th. I grabbed the bananas, blueberries and blackberries to snack on. Then, out of nowhere, my co-worker comes in and hands me a sausage mcmuffin. This is after I've had my breakfast. I can't say no, so I eat it. WHY CAN'T I SAY NO?!?!
I even have a big ol' thing of gum on my desk so I can chew that rather than dip into the candy drawer. Does that stop me? Not always. I keep water in the fridge at all times because supposedly water helps you feel full. Can we just admit this is a bullshit thing to believe? Because it does not ever make me feel full. It just makes me run back and forth to the restroom all day which is essentially the majority of the exercise I get.
My jeans are tight and these are the fat jeans. I will not get another fucking size bigger. I will not do it. I can't believe these fat jeans are tight. It's astonishing. But I should believe it, right? Because yesterday I threw caution to the wind and devoured snacks and beers while watching the Green Bay game like it was my God-given right! Thank goodness I attempt to diet at work otherwise where would I be?
So now that I fucked up by eating the sausage mcmuffin, I'm not going to eat lunch. I'll just go home and watch Husband eat. To remind me of what I have done. And just like last week, I will have salads for lunch for the remaining 4 days of the work week. Because I have to. I just can't keep on like this. I need to literally lose at least 50 pounds to be even remotely within my healthy range. Diabetes runs in my family, for chrissake! I do not want to get "the sugar."
There. End of rant.

***HOROSCOPE EDIT:

Taurus

April 20 - May 20

The opportunity to make a change in your life, which you may have been contemplating for a long time, could finally manifest itself today, Taurus. This could be a move to a new neighborhood, a return to school for an advanced degree, an entirely new profession, or all of the above. Whichever it is, expect to spend a lot of time throughout the day discussing it with friends and family. Then move ahead with whatever plans you have.

Haiku Friday the 13th

2012-01-13T08:33:00.000-08:00

Casey and Husband
Get the whole day together
While I sit at work
***
Buying a bunny
I want to name it Gertrude
Gertie or Trudy
***
Less work than a dog
Just to have a pet, you know?
Something to snuggle

***Edit: It's a boy bunny. I guess Gertrude won't work.

Good, Bad and Ugly

2012-01-12T11:02:00.000-08:00

The Good

Found an excellent backup sitter situation for when Maria has emergencies
Got an "all-clear" from the OBGYN this morning
Had a nice dinner with 3 of Husband's Navy buddies last night. 1 brought me wine, 1 flowers and the other a cheese and meat platter. My favorite things!

The Bad

That Maria's brother had to die for me to find a sitter backup
How I felt leaving my OBGYN and walking into a room full of preggos
My addiction to Words With Friends

The Ugly

I drank a whole bottle of wine last night so I imagine around 3 my hangover will come a'knockin'
My complexion is that of a 14-year old going through puberty so methinks Aunt Flo is right around the corner
How much I crave candy while at the workplace

5 Stages of Grief

2012-01-11T09:36:00.000-08:00

The stages, popularly known by the acronym DABDA, include:

Denial — "I feel fine."; "This can't be happening, not to me."
Denial is usually only a temporary defense for the individual. This feeling is generally replaced with heightened awareness of possessions and individuals that will be left behind after death.
Anger — "Why me? It's not fair!"; "How can this happen to me?"; '"Who is to blame?"
Once in the second stage, the individual recognizes that denial cannot continue. Because of anger, the person is very difficult to care for due to misplaced feelings of rage and envy.
Bargaining — "I'll do anything for a few more years."; "I will give my life savings if..."
The third stage involves the hope that the individual can somehow postpone or delay death. Usually, the negotiation for an extended life is made with a higher power in exchange for a reformed lifestyle.
Depression — "I'm so sad, why bother with anything?"; "I'm going to die soon so what's the point... What's the point?"; "I miss my loved one, why go on?"
It is not recommended to attempt to cheer up an individual who is in this stage. It is an important time for grieving that must be processed.
Acceptance — "It's going to be okay."; "I can't fight it, I may as well prepare for it."
In this last stage, individuals begin to come to terms with their mortality, or that of a loved one, or other tragic event.

So as bad ass as I may come across for my last post about the miscarriage, truth is it's been a month and I'm still struggling. I think I'm in stage 4 of this grieving process if I had to put a number on it. I know I'm depressed when I become apathetic and apathetic I am. Blah. Thankfully, some of the "bad feelings" I was harboring were put aside last night when Husband and I finally took a moment to sit and talk. With a toddler and phones that have facebook and a huge high def TV, there always seems to be something to do other than talk. Last night after Casey was down for the night, we turned everything off, had a couple beers and shot the shit for a solid hour.
Sometimes I get so hung up on being a mother and taking care of the house and work and all the other tidbits of life, that I forget to be a wife. It doesn't help our cause that we live together part time. I need to take moments to remember that I wanted to marry this man for a reason. We happen to have a leather-bound book that the officiant at our wedding gave us with the vows we took on the day we got married. In that same book, we jot down moments worth remembering in our marriage. I took a moment to re-read a few entries, to write about the miscarriage and to reflect on how much I really do love this man I'm married to. So my heart feels a little better today and I think I'm moving on to stage 5.

MORAL OF THAT STORY: Bad things happen but you can still live. It's time to let go.

Movie Review Monday

2012-01-09T11:28:00.000-08:00

Friday night's DVD was Horrible Bosses. To be honest with you, I had very low expectations for this movie. Most of the comedies we've gotten lately have just not been that funny. I'm super glad it broke the string of bad flicks we'd been watching. Jennifer Aniston has never been nastier. Colin Farrell has never looked worse. Kevin Spacey has never been such a dick. It was great. I clearly love Jason Bateman as all of us do. Sudeikis really effed me over with Hall Pass but made up for it here. As for Charlie Day, I could hardly stand him in the single episode I watched of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, which I could hardly stand either. However, he was the scene stealer in this movie. Very funny. I think it's his high pitched voice. Whatever it is, this cast and this very dark story really worked for me. Plus, a Santa Clara alumnus makes a brief appearance and it made me proud to be an Oxnardian and a Saint.

Next up was Super 8. This really was a no-brainer and I'm not exactly sure why we didn't see it in the theater. Husband identified the Goonies vibe right away and from there it was just a great, old-fashioned movie watching experience. The train crash sequence was amazing. Elle Fanning? For a 14-year old, she can sure act her ass off! My goodness! There wasn't a moment in this movie where I lost interest. The kids are just great and the air force is a super great bad guy. As for the alien? Let's just say it made me poop my pants. Not literally. But close. Loved it.

Inaugural 2012 Haiku Friday

2012-01-06T08:32:00.000-08:00

I now floss daily
I overheard something once
It extends your life
***
On a bad note, though
I'm not speaking to my mom
Not a great start, 12
***
So... Resolutions
Made some but didn't start them
I have all year, right?

Stolen From BFF

2012-01-03T11:59:00.000-08:00

Five best things about 2011 - as inspiration for 2012 (in no particular order)
1. The birth of my niece
2. Buying a house
3. Being in MI twice this year for my brother-in-law's boda and for a white Christmas
4. BFF moving to California
5. Being Crusty's Matron

Four general plans for 2012
1. Focus on getting healthy as I am sure weighing 220 pounds as I write this is not that
2. Be more fiscally responsible
3. Read more books
4. Start dating my Husband

Three places I plan to go in 2012
1. To Big Bear at the end of the month
2. To the movies more often
3. To Portland to meet a friend's first baby when it is born

Two career goals for 2012
1. I think this is not necessarily for me but to get Husband transferred up here already
2. Goof off online less

One change I'd like to make in 2012
1. To be more positive and relaxed without the assistance of Prozac. I went off when I got pregnant and would really not like to get back on again. Instead, I'd like to try to elevate my mood with exercise and a healthier diet. Perhaps even go back to keeping a paper journal.

Movie Review Monday - Double Feature

2012-01-02T14:59:00.000-08:00

We had to make up for lost time having not seen any movies in a Michigan theater. On Friday I only had to work until noon but Maria didn't know this so Husband and I had a free pass to see a movie. We had thought about going to see the second Sherlock Holmes installment but decided on Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol solely based on Rotten Tomatoes approval ratings. Beforehand we had some Taiwan beer at China Square to loosen us up. I say this only because while it may have added to the fun we had, it was also detriment because I actually had to pick a time when I could go pee! Let me tell you, this movie is action and suspense packed. I know it's hip to hate Tom Cruise but he really is a movie star in the very sense of the word. Add to that an incredible supporting cast and the fact that Brad Bird of Incredibles fame was behind the scenes and there is really no way this movie could go wrong. I think some of the story is obviously slightly far fetched but who goes to a movie like this for credibility? I prefer to go and see stupendous stunt sequences only to find myself laughing at how close to the edge of my seat and/or jumping out of my own skin I come. Excellent holiday movie. I totally recommend it and endorse EW's A rating. As an added bonus, the Swedish Mikael Blomkvist is the bad guy!

Speaking of Mikael Blomkvist, we decided to take advantage of having today off and took in the matinee of the American version of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. You may recall when I devoured both the book trilogy and the three Swedish movies in a matter of three week's time. I thought maybe seeing this version might be overkill but all this hype about Rooney Mara taking over the role of Lisbeth Salander (EW is particularly guilty of this) piqued my interest. Add to the fact that Se7en director David Fincher was at the helm and that was really a game changer for me. There is a lot of shit talking about cocky Americans feeling the need to improve upon the Swedish film as if there is no room for improvement. We're talking about a book that is on the cusp of being 600 pages. Seems to me there is a very good chance that two movies can have completely separate ways to tell such an epic tale. My feelings were officially validated after seeing the movie. I'm not sure if it was the casting or the locale or maybe Fincher was allotted a bigger budget, but I felt his movie nailed it. The opening sequence alone was well worth my $6.75 admission. Mara's hype is well-earned. If you had the opportunity to see this beauty in her small Social Network role where she breaks up with Zuckerberg and compared it to her role as Salander, you would never know it was the same actress. Just a fair warning to those who have not had the pleasure of reading the book or seeing the other movies: this is a GRAPHIC movie that is often quite hard to watch.
So how about it? We're two for two in the movie theater! I recommend either one wholeheartedly. Do I sense a comeback?

Falling Needles Family Fest Haiku Friday

2011-12-30T08:31:00.000-08:00

Crazy Stupid Love
What a freakin' great movie!
My third one this week
***
Emma Stone - so cute
Ryan Gosling - a hottie
Steve Carell - awesome
***
Julianne Moore though?
I find her unlikable
In all her movies

WARNING - Sad Shit Ahead

2011-12-29T08:29:00.000-08:00

I guess it's Thursday and it should be Tummy Thursday and all that's on my mind right now is the miscarriage and that like 5 of my friends - be they on facebook or real life - have announced they are pregnant since my miscarriage. Phew. That was a run-on if ever I've written one. I am going to just lay this out here because I am hoping it will help me come to terms with some things. This online journal is the only journal I keep for myself and thus you must suffer the sad along with me.

December 15th was my last Tummy Thursday update and I had been spotting. I called the doctor's office and they told me it was normal but if it continued or got worse I had to call them. On Friday, the spotting was definitely not just spotting anymore but it wasn't enough blood to necessitate a tampon or a pad, per se. I called the doctor at 10 a.m. and was told to come right in. After a look inside me, the doctor confirmed I was bleeding and told me that I should hope for the best but prepare for the worst. He said he was sending me for an emergency ultrasound and that if we heard a heart beat things were fine. If not, we'd have to have an emergency D&C (They don't do elective surgery on the weekends. Ha. Elective. Like I had a choice).

By noon I was having my ultrasound (both internal and external) and there was no sound at all. The tech was all business and said that this was not an audio ultrasound. She wouldn't tell me what she saw as the radiologist was the only one that could do that. The silence was killing me. I wept because deep down inside, I knew things were not right. After a bit of a wait in the lobby, the radiologist confirmed that there was no heartbeat. He said "the baby has passed." I wept again. I knew we had to go back to the doctor but I would have given anything to just go home and hug my son and pretend that none of this was happening.

By 4pm, I was getting ready for a D&C. Husband had to leave me alone to make sure Casey was taken care of. It's the first time I've ever gone for any procedure alone. Just me and the nurses chatting it up. Getting asked a million questions while being prodded with an IV and having monitors taped to me. One minute I was awake in one room, the next I was awake in recovery. It was a very fast procedure and I was home by 8pm no worse for the wear. Everyone at the hospital was so kind and I tried to be as invisible as possible.

The thing about this pregnancy is that I never felt pregnant. I mean, there were some symptoms but I just never believed it was really happening. I didn't even panic when we didn't hear the heartbeat when the doc ran that little microphone over me. Just as I was getting comfortable with the idea of being pregnant, I got slapped in the face with this miscarriage. Mostly, I just can't stop thinking about it all. Did I get pregnant again because I wanted to or because it was the thing I was sort of "expected" to do? Am I more disappointed that I had a miscarriage or that I have to tell everyone I had one? Was I sad about the baby dying or that I knew we had to do all the stuff that goes along with it like the D&C?

Another thing that comes along with having just miscarried is that you hear the stories about women who have had that happen to them multiple times. Am I the kind of person that can just keep trying? I have had three pregnancies. One was an abortion, one was Casey and one was the miscarriage. How many more times do I want to do that to my body? How can you psychologically go through more than one loss? I simply can't wrap my head around it. I also have the people that tell me I'm young and can just get pregnant again, like it's nothing more than getting a new pair of shoes when your other shoes no longer look so nice. It's just crazy.

I prefer to think that things happen for a reason. Though I'm not entirely convinced there is a God, I do believe in a higher power and I think that said power was maybe just looking out for me. Husband still doesn't live with us full-time. It's probably not a great idea to have another baby and have him unemployed or what have you. I also have zero patience with Casey, why I am I adding to that? Does another baby deserve that? And when you really break it down, I'm not exactly crazy about pregnancy and had sort of a nightmare recovery after Casey was born. My postpartum depression could have cost me my marriage had Husband been a lesser man.

As of right now, all I want to do is sell every baby item I have saved under the impression I would have another one. I have zero desire to try again. I'm quite content with the little boy my son is growing into. I don't know why so many people insist that only-children deserve more. I know plenty of people without siblings that turned out just fine. There's a part of me that just wants my life to carry on as usual. I'd like to start dating my husband. I'd like to travel. I think of how much easier my life would be with only one child and how much more cost effective as well.

I'm not disappointed that I don't have to turn my spare room into a baby's room. I'm not sad about not having sleepless nights ahead of me again or breastfeeding constantly. Or making my boobs stop lactating for that matter. It's kind of nice to think that I won't need to buy Pampers for another three years. I know these things sound silly to you and that you might be thinking it's the sad talking but I'm really as coherent as I have ever felt. I don't feel sad, really. Only occasionally. Mostly, I'm just trying to plan for my future now that it has been reset.

Anyway, I just wanted to jot these things down. I'm going to take a deep breath and just keep on keeping on. I hope soon I don't have to tell any more people that I've had a miscarriage and that everyone will just know on their own. It's time to start thinking about what I want to do next like dieting and saving money and working on the house. I want to remember to be my husband's wife in addition to being my son's mother. I also want to take some time to just be Randi.

Another Movie!

2011-12-28T09:04:00.000-08:00

Boy do I love seeing that little red envelope in the mail that has a very special DVD just for me. Getting around to actually watching the DVD presents itself as a challenge though. I can't seem to stay awake at night and have a hard time really focusing on movies I want to really focus on. So after a two-night viewing, we finished up The King's Speech last night.
What a fantastic film filled to the brim with fantastic actors. I cannot praise Colin Firth appropriately with words. He's simply brilliant. It pained me to see him stammer his way through this film and at the end I felt like bursting into a round of applause for him. It was also wonderful to see Helena Bonham Carter step away from her standard unusual fair and present herself as a supportive wife, mother and queen. You could literally see the pain behind her eyes as she watched her husband struggle with his speech impediment. Brilliant. And, for the record, if history was presented to me like this in High School, I may know much more than I do now.
For those of you who read this blog and think that I'm extra hard on movies that are simply mediocre, this is why. Movies should make you feel something inside whether they are stupidly moronic like Step Brothers or Tommy Boy or if they are gut-wrenching and sad like A Beautiful Life or The King's Speech. I feel passionately that you should step away from a film either with your cheeks in pain from smiling or your eyes a bloody mess from weeping. That is why I review the movies the way I do. Perhaps I'm too emotionally entwined in them but I want a film to transport me from reality and I want to enjoy my time there, be it a 90-minute visit or a 2-hour plus stay.

Movie Review Monday

2011-12-27T14:38:00.000-08:00

While in Michigan, we had high hopes that Casey would stay with his grandparents and we would be able to go to a movie every day. Unfortunately, Casey turned into the devil in Michigan and I didn't dare leave my in-laws with a monster. We ended up watching The Social Network on cable, though, and it was quite good. I have mixed emotions about Jesse Eisenberg. Something about his face or the way he talks. I find it distracting. However, as an actor in this film, I thought he was quite believable as a brilliant nerd who was not exactly likable. The movie itself was a bit long and a bit chatty but I totally recommend it.
I'm addicted to Facebook. It's no secret. It was fascinating to see the steps that made it came about. How the word "Facebook" itself has become a noun and a verb. After watching The Social Network, it seemed like I heard more and more people on the street talking about how they didn't want such and such to end up on Facebook. In a store in Frankenmuth, there was a shirt that says "What happens tonight ends up on Facebook tomorrow." It's such a cultural movement, woven deeply into our every day lives. This movie really made me think about what that means. Facebook isn't just a website, it's a way of life for goodness sake.
Just on a personal side note, I remember waiting until Husband said it was ok to tell Facebook we were expecting again. Just the random pregnancy posts and whatnot. It's so strange to me that I can't - that I won't - tell Facebook we miscarried... that there's a stigma to it. Something so taboo that I'm practically depending on posts about beer drinking to sort of relay the hint that I'm no longer pregnant. Yet just the other day, a friend of mine took to his wall to tell his friends that he had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Truly something to ponder, eh?

Phoned In Haiku Friday

2011-12-23T02:51:00.000-08:00

no more segundo

or tummy thursday updates

we lost the baby

***

in michigan now

christmas with husband's family

away from it all

***

hug the ones you love

never take them for granted

and merry christmas

Blue Christmas Haiku Friday

2011-12-16T09:00:00.000-08:00

A senile granny
Plus a dad with Parkinson's
And a needy mom
***
Not loving my job
Stressing about traveling
And pregnant to boot
***
No Prozac, no booze
Recipe for disaster
So..... Merry Christmas?

Tummy Thursday

2011-12-15T09:38:00.000-08:00

12 weeks today. Fetus is the size of a lime. I wear stretch pants now. Finally succumbed and bought a pair of maternity jeans. My friend Cindy just popped and I'm waiting for her maternity clothes so I don't want to indulge too much in the purchasing of more. I'm frugal.
I tried to schedule an appointment for the first trimester screening for Down's but it turns out the one appointment they had where the timing was right is the week that we're in Michigan so the fates made the decision for us. I sort of didn't want to do it anyway and now I can't so there you have it. We have the second trimester screening on January 25th where they will do a blood draw and a sonogram and we should be able to see if Segundo is a boy or a girl.
As much as Husband is convinced he can't put a girl in me, I kind of am leaning in that direction. I don't feel at all like I felt with Casey. Right around this time with him, I was puking my guts out at least three times a day whereas currently I want to devour anything and everything that crosses my path.
So far I have had only one concern and that is with DISCHARGE. I may as well just be bold about it. Apparently it's normal but I don't recall this with my first pregnancy. I had a tummy ache the other day and when I went potty a sort of dark looking clump was in the potty that may or may not have looked like old blood. Yuck. The tummy ache was just because I had to poop so I'm not super worried but yeah... the body does some tricky shit when you're preggo.

I've Created A Monster

2011-12-14T11:15:00.000-08:00

Naturally, before the movie even hit theaters, I had already purchased The Muppets original soundtrack. It's got some groovy tunes on there and I'm totally obsessed so it is what it is. What I didn't realize was that my obsession was contagious. We have this room that is dedicated to music books and DVDs. It's known as the study or the library or the bar. It's the room of requirements, if you will. When we want to listen to a CD, we sit in there and play. Casey grew quite fond of the Muppet soundtrack almost instantly.
I normally wouldn't do this, but I gave him the booklet that goes inside the jewel case. He will sit there for sometimes a half hour straight, quietly thumbing through the dozen or so pages that have pictures of the Muppets and the lyrics to the song. If we're not in the room and he wants to go there, he'll grunt and point and do a little movement that is his equivalent of dancing to gesture that it is time to go into the room of requirements and throw on the CD. This has become a daily, sometimes twice daily, occurrence. He lives for it.
I mean, how stoked am I that the kid loves the Muppets? He watches the old TV show on DVD, the old movies, he has dolls of Gonzo, Fozzie, Kermit and Animal. All he wants to do is look at pictures of Muppets. It's incredible! And here comes the inevitable "but". But, every time Muppet time is over, Casey throws a temper tantrum. He cries real tears and he cries them for quite a while. On Monday when we had to put away the CD so mama could go to work and he could go to the sitter, he even did that thing where kiddos go limp and throw themselves and ended up busting his lip on my knee cap.

MORAL OF THAT STORY: Man. I thought I loved the Muppets...

Netflix Review

2011-12-13T10:06:00.000-08:00

When Netflix jacked up their prices, we opted to keep the streaming movies on our PlayStation. After a while, though, we realized we missed the DVDs and the choices on the streaming are quite limited. Our first week back on the DVDs we got Hall Pass and The King's Speech. Since I didn't want to have to pay too much attention to the DVD and really want to enjoy The King's Speech, we opted to put in Hall Pass.
Hindsight being 20/20, I guess I would have wanted to know that Rotten Tomatoes gave this movie a 35% out of 165 reviews. That's not a good sign. When I put this on our queue it was because of the line in the trailer: How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice. It was Jason Sudeikis' pick up line and he's a funny guy. So are Owen Wilson, Pam from The Office and Christina Applegate. Plus the Farrelly Brothers are supposedly quite comedic. How did this movie go so horribly awry? How does a movie make me dislike Pam from The Office? Inconceivable!
This movie is about a couple of wives who give their husbands a week off of marriage so they can see that the good ol' days aren't really as good as they remembered. I guess. I don't know. It was godawful. I laughed twice? Maybe? And that's being generous. Even the gratuitous toilet humor was so crass it wasn't funny. So we sit through this whole shitty movie just on principle and it just kept on sucking. I even sat through the credits for a bit with Husband because he couldn't believe the movie was written by the Farrelly Brothers and needed to see it with his own eyes. Naturally, we're treated to one last "extra" snippet that includes male on male anal rape. Yeah. Sums it up quite nicely.

Christmas Party Wrap Up

2011-12-12T13:13:00.000-08:00

Three years ago, Husband (who was then just my fiance) came with me to the first of our holiday Christmas parties together. We went to the Aloha Steakhouse in Ventura, a pretty nice spot just stone's throw from the pier and next door to the hotel where they filmed the final pageant in Little Miss Sunshine. While we were there, a drunk former co-worker got a little mouthy about what Husband and I would be doing for a honeymoon which led to Husband coming thisclose to asking said co-worker to take it outside. Good times.
This year, the company dinner was at the same restaurant. The spot is pretty well-known for having a problem with vagrants hanging around, causing trouble and panhandling. On the way into the restaurant, we skipped the stroll we wanted to take because there were people asking me for money. During dinner, we could hear a dog barking and a group of young ruffians in a kerfuffle. Husband sort of stood up like he was going to go and break things up but I stopped him. At about the same time, one of them got knocked the fuck out and hit the concrete like a ton of bricks. When the attackers fled the scene, Husband and a couple other people in our group went outside to tend to the unconscious young man on the ground.
I should probably mention that Husband was a Navy medic so he really can't help himself. It would go against everything he stands for if he didn't help out. Well help he did and he ended up getting repaid by getting that dude's piss on him. I guess when you're k.o.'d you lose control of the ol' bladder. The police and the ambulance came and Husband's job there was done so he came in and we enjoyed the rest of our party.
On the way out of the restaurant, we were detoured because of a homeless woman sleeping in the doorway to the parking garage. I thought it would be tacky if I climbed over her. When we went the long way around, we got to go through Hobo Junction once again. A clearly inebriated old beggar asked me for a quarter but I declined. Then he figured he had nothing left to lose so he asked for a dollar. No, thank you. So I got the gift of being called a "fucking bitch" and Husband had to use all his willpower not to punch that dude in the face. All in all, a very festive holiday dinner that really drove home the spirit of Christmas. Amen.

Travel Anticipation Haiku Friday

2011-12-09T08:12:00.000-08:00

Only 9 more days
Until we fly. Michigan!
I dread the flight, folks
***
Long day of travel
With a rambunctious wee one
And TWICE! In one week!
***
The stay will be nice
Snowy Winter Wonderland
Husband's great family

Tummy Thursday

2011-12-08T10:48:00.000-08:00

I'm 11 weeks today and the fetus is the size of a fig. I had an OBGYN visit this morning but it's still too soon to hear the heart beat. I've already gained 4 pounds in the month since I was last there. It's because this pregnancy, I am starving. All the time. I want to eat everything I see and then some. With it being the holidays, there are sweets and treats all over my office at all times. I have no will power. I'm going to have to find it soon, though, or I'm going to find myself weighing 250 pounds when I give birth again. She's a brick house, ladies and germs.
On another note, my sister-in-law had to give up dairy to breastfeed and I'm thinking I might try to jump on that band wagon after the baby is born, too. I don't want to do it now because I think it's important to get all the nutrients I can now while the fetus is baking. After the first of the year (because dieting during the holidays is a joke) I'm thinking of cutting way back on a lot of stuff and trying to go very raw oriented. More fruits and veggies than carbs. Ease up on the meat and dairy. Not only for my weight, but my health as well. Bitch has high cholesterol, you know. And when I was full o' Casey, my blood pressure was redonk.
On a final note, the Doc was asking if I wanted to do the screening and/or amniocentesis for Down's and I just don't think so this time. I guess the odds of me having a baby with Down's is 250/100 at my age. I just figure the baby will be born when I'm 35 but I'm baking it when I'm 34 so I don't want to worry. I also wouldn't abort the baby or give it up for adoption if it did have Down's so what's the point. Any thoughts on this, women out there? Drop me a comment.

Segundo Update Haiku Friday

2011-12-02T09:11:00.000-08:00

I'm 10 weeks pregnant
A quarter of the way through
Fetus size? Kumquat
***
No morning sickness
But I'm already showing
And eating for two
***
I know I shouldn't
But I'm totally starving
All the freaking time.

Pulled Ova!

2011-11-30T08:46:00.000-08:00

When I leave work there is a section of road that gets backed up so I generally accelerate to get around the traffic. Although the Flex is basically a station wagon, it definitely has some get up and go and if I push the accelerator too hard it roars like a lion. I did that last night and thought nothing else of it. I was stopped at a light we have here in town called Five Points for a good three minutes when I noticed a cop car behind me. When the light turned green, he turned on his flashers and pulled me over. I honestly had no idea why as several minutes and at least a mile had lapsed since I went around that backup.
The officer came around the car and I had my license and registration at hand. He asked if I was in a rush. I didn't think so, I replied, just headed to get my son from the sitter. He said I was going pretty fast back there and that he could actually hear me accelerating. I was still pretty oblivious as to what was going on but said "ok." He asked me how I pronounced my name and I replied "Friday?" to which he said "Ah, TGIF Wagon. I get it." Vanity plates. TGIFWGN. Yup. Lots of chit chat from said officer. His final question was "What's up with all the skulls?" referring to the planner in my purse, my sugar skull decal in the window and my sugar skull license plate frame. "I just like them?" I replied confusedly.
After telling me to let the DMV know I had moved, he let me go. No ticket. Just a warning and a request to drive safely. I really have no idea what the heck that was all about but I felt pretty silly as a mom driving a skulled-out station wagon getting pulled over for speeding. All with the car seat in the back... Yeah. I have officially lost my youth.

MORAL OF THAT STORY: There are still some super nice cops out there. And some pretty incredulous mom drivers.

Belated Haiku Movie Review

2011-11-28T09:29:00.000-08:00

I saw The Muppets
I laughed, I cried and I smiled
Oh so worth the wait
***
Fun for all ages
Adults laughed as much as kids
Epic cameos
***
A great soundtrack, too
I really have no complaints
But I do want more

Happy Birthday, CD!

2011-11-23T09:12:00.000-08:00

What a joyous day! Crusty turns another year older and the Muppets make their comeback. Crusty's mom is really to be credited for my love of the Muppets, did you know this? We used to watch The Great Muppet Caper a lot when we were wee. I think it's because Juanita, her mom, should have been born British. Maybe that's why I want to be British? Points to ponder...

In the meantime, please go wish her a happy happy.

Tuesday. Yup.

2011-11-22T15:21:00.000-08:00

I want to blog so badly. I really do. The truth of the matter is nothing of interest is going on around these parts. The child and I are struggling to get over our colds. Husband is home for the holiday. I am looking forward to stuffing my face and wearing a dress to dinner solely because it will free my belly to receive as much food as humanly possible. I had fretted til now that I would have morning sickness to ruin Thanksgiving dinner and now that threat has passed.

Want to know another thing that's worrying me? It's weird to be pregnant and not have morning sickness. It's almost like aside from me not having a period, I'm not even pregnant. Thankfully I have an OBGYN appointment on December 9th and I should probably be able to hear the heartbeat by then. I'm definitely not trying to wish morning sickness upon me, however, it's just feels weird to not be sick. Then again, this is only week 9 so maybe it's just not time to be sick yet.

I get to see BFF & the Bay Area Peeps on Friday and that should be super awesome. It's crazy that BFF now lives a mere hour's drive away and I haven't seen her for like a month already. What the hell? Who needs to be that busy? We sure don't.

We also get to take down Thanksgiving and throw up Christmas decorations this weekend. I just can't wait. But mostly? I can't wait for tomorrow because The Muppets will finally be out and I will finally get a chance to go to the movie theater!

Sicky Face Haiku Friday

2011-11-18T09:14:00.001-08:00

Two days at home sick
That's two boxes of Kleenex
Preggo means "NO DRUGS"
***
Fetus is 8-weeks
The size of a kidney bean
My jeans still fit me
***
Haven't been sick yet
I mean, morning sickness sick
Maybe not this time?

Happy Birthday, Moo Lady!

2011-11-14T08:50:00.000-08:00

Today is my mother's 64th birthday. She has been my mom for 34 years and boy have we had our ups and downs. All in all, aside from our wee co-dependency issues, she is my best buddy. I talk to her multiple times a day and hang out with her a whole lot. If I was a teenager, I would think that would make me, like, the lamest person on the planet. But right now? I think it's neat. She will literally give you the shirt off your back. I think she's the most generous person I know. She loves nothing more than buying presents for no reason at all. She makes me laugh and she makes me crazy. She's a mystery wrapped in an enigma.
I like that she makes comfort food like green bean casserole and quiche and this funky grape salad made from cottage cheese, Cool Whip and lime Jell-O. She and her best friend used to take cake decorating classes. I think they were Martha Stewarts before Martha Stewart knew she was a Martha Stewart. She can throw a themed party in seconds flat and always has her Christmas shopping done in November. She's just that swell.
Anywho, I don't feel like getting too sappy about my mom because I'm fucking exhausted today (thanks for not sleeping, Casey!) but I think she's great and I love her and I hope she lives to be super old as long as she doesn't get all senile and needy and weird like my Gran (who I also love like a fat kid loves cake regardless of her "quirks").

Big Day Haiku Friday

2011-11-11T08:27:00.000-08:00

Three "11" Day
Feels like a day to gamble
But I likely won't
***
And Veteran's Day
That's most men in my family
Thanks to all of you
***
Big bonus this month
A good time to be grateful
Count lots of blessings

Cyooorteeees

2011-11-10T08:46:00.000-08:00

Today is the thirty-year anniversary of me becoming a big sister. Even though Curtis is now a thirty year old man who stands at 6'4", a home owner, a husband and the father of two, he will always be my little brother. I remember the day they brought his 12-pound newborn self home from the hospital to Janetwood and standing in the garage to greet him. I remember all the trouble he got into as a child and how I always felt somewhat responsible because I was supposed to watch him and take care of him and be a role model. It is because of the drama between us as children that I seriously considered not giving Casey a sibling.
I also remember family road-trips together where he'd lay across the back of the station wagon on my lap so I could scratch his back (that is when we didn't need the cooler between us to stop us from touching each other!). I remember playing He-Man and GI Joe with him in the sun room. I remember going to his little league baseball games and cheering him on. I remember how he'd promise to be quiet if he could just hang out in my room with me and my friends. Or how we had walkie-talkies so we could talk at night even though our rooms were literally a foot away from one another. And how we had matching pajamas on Christmas Eve and we'd always sleep in the same room anticipating all the presents we'd see the next morning.
Today, Curtis is my friend. He is my son's uncle. He's the person I call when I need to cry about my mother or my Gran being my mother and my Gran. He's a confidant and basically an all-around fun person to hang out with. He's a hell of a cook, can shoot a gun like no one's business and is great with his hands as a contractor/handy man. We have been through thirty years of ups and downs. There was even a period of time where we didn't speak at all. Now I can't imagine my life without him and I think he's great. I hope he has a very happy birthday and that I can share at least thirty more with him.

Family

2011-11-09T11:35:00.000-08:00

One of the reasons I live in Oxnard is because my family is here. This has its pros and cons. A couple pros are: I am never homesick; and there's almost always a sitter if I need one. I'm sure there's more than that but I'm drawing a blank. The cons are: there seems to always be drama we end up involved in; lots of random obligations; and most glaringly obvious is that there is a lack of privacy? alone time? with my own family that consists of Husband, me and Casey.
I love having my family around because I know it's good for Casey to know his aunts and uncles and cousins and grandparents. I'm fortunate that his great-grandma is still alive and spending time with him. I'm also fortunate that my family is closely connected relationship-wise as well as vicinity-wise. These are really good things. However, sometimes it gets to be a bit much. For example, I see my folks at least a couple times during the week and inevitably once or more during the weekend. Husband is usually only home on the weekends and I firmly believe kicking it with the in-laws is probably not high on his priority list.
My folks left for Palm Springs last Sunday so I made an effort to go to dinner with them on Thursday night and they came for a visit on Saturday. They returned yesterday and brought dinner and Gran over to the house last night with them. I will also be seeing them this coming Saturday for birthday festivities in honor of my brother and mother. I'd say that shit qualifies as frequent.
Last night, I made the declaration that during the three-day weekend following Thanksgiving, I would be unavailable and basically didn't want to have any plans with them. My mother responded that my request was lofty as they needed to come and get my Gran's Christmas decorations out of the rafters that weekend. I thought about letting that blow over but today I told her no to which she responded by telling me I was selfish.
I'm sure she's just being a smart ass like usual and I should ignore her but my "selfish" ass always takes care of Gran when my folks blow out of town, is arranging a birthday dinner for her and also makes an exerted effort to let her see her grandson far more frequently than she ever saw my niece or nephew. I guess I'm just here to vent and I will chalk my inability to let this go up to pregnancy hormones.

MORAL OF THAT STORY: Family: can't live with them, can't live without them.

Tummy Tuesday Part II

2011-11-08T09:03:00.000-08:00

Here are some things we know about baby #2 (a.k.a. Segundo) so far:

Conceived on October 5th (a.k.a. Husband's birthday)
Due June 28th (a.k.a. BFF's daughter's birthday)
That would make "it" a Cancer.
If it's a girl, we decided on Alayna Christin for a name. Hubby's dad's name is Alan and that's my mom's middle name.
If it's a boy, we have compromised on Andrew because Hubby likes Drew and my mom's name is Andrea and I'm more partial to Andy. Middle name is still undetermined.
I am not taking my Zyrtec and it is OBVIOUS. I forgot about that.
I am not sleeping well already because of CRAZY dreams and the urge to pee every two hours. I also forgot about that.

Weekend Wrap Up

2011-11-07T13:20:00.001-08:00

In an effort to be more consistent in blogging, I've decided to just get on in here and ramble until something of significance inspires me.

It seems as though every weekend, although it is never written in stone, we end up doing something. Saturday we had Kitty over for her birthday dinner and yesterday Gran came over. I wonder when Husband and I will ever just get a weekend to ourselves.
We were talking about lack of sleep thanks to the time change and I estimate the next time I will have the ability to sleep a full night's sleep will be when this baby in my womb turns 18. How old will I be? Oh, about 55.
Casey keeps saying a sound that resembles turtle but I found out today it also means "todo" which is Spanish for "all." When he's done eating, he says "todo." All this time I was thinking he wanted to talk about turtles. He makes the very same sound when looking at his turtle flashcard, by the way. I just didn't think he randomly wanted to talk about turtles.
If you tell Casey to "kiss the baby" he will go up to our mirrored wall and put his dirty little hands on it and lean in and open-mouth kiss his reflection. It's rad.

DMV Haiku Friday

2011-11-04T08:41:00.000-07:00

Got vanity plates
For our "new" Ford Flex wagon
Ready for pickup
***
I made a wise choice
Appointment at DMV
They saw me early
***
I pimped my G-ride
TGIFWGN, son!
Honk if you see me!

Kiyah.

2011-11-03T00:00:00.000-07:00

This photograph is the last picture we have of Kiyah. As you all know, she has not been well as of late. What most of you aren't super aware of is that in June, Kiyah had surgery to remove a tumor the size of a tennis ball that was determined to be stage 3 cancer. Basically, there is no recovering from that sort of thing. I know I came across as cold when talking about treating her, but the reality is, Kiyah was ten years old and putting her through more treatment to delay the inevitable was not an option Husband and I entertained. On Monday, October 31st, we took Kiyah to be euthanized. Words cannot express how hard that was or how much it took out of both Husband and myself but we are comforted in knowing she's no longer in pain. Rather than dwell on her death, I'd like to go down memory lane.

The first time I met Kiyah was my first visit down to San Diego to see Husband. That night, I slept on his couch. In the morning I woke up to Kiyah's snout in my face as if she was just waiting for me to open my eyes. It was at that moment that I knew she chose me for herself and for Husband.
She came up to Oxnard with Husband the day he proposed. While we were at the ball game in L.A., she dug out of the yard and ran away. That will forever be part of our engagement story.
The first week she lived with me, she dug out of our yard and ran away three times.
When I was pregnant with Casey on 4th of July, we took her to the beach for fireworks and she buried her snout beneath my belly to hide herself and (I think) to protect the baby.
The night I went into labor, Kiyah expressed her disapproval by peeing on her bed.
"Iyah" was one of Casey's first words.
She went by Sissy, Coyote, Deedee, Judy, Judith, Yoodie, Kadeedee, Kiyah-tay, and so much more.
She was a snow dog that loved to run on the beach and swim in the ocean as much as she liked to hike in the mountains and swim in melted snow.
Kiyah had a foot fetish that drove her to lick our feet incessantly. She even had a big plastic foot chew toy. And we can't forget her stuffed kitty that she treated like her own baby and "nondenominational" woobie.
Whenever I scratched Kiyah's belly, I knew she'd sneeze in my face.
She would cuddle me on the bed with her head on the pillow just like a real person.
Her groomer, Angel, was a reformed ex-convict.
Kiyah was great in the car and never hesitated to go on a drive. Or for a walk for that matter. It was like every time was the first time.

There are so many more memories that I'll never be able to put here. Kiyah has been a part of my life for four years and a part of Husband's life for ten. Casey is only knowing of life without her now for the first time. She was loved like family and will be missed greatly. No matter how many ups and downs we had, Kiyah really was the best dog I could ever ask for and I am so grateful Husband and I got to share her final moments with her before she went on to Doggy Heaven.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BFF!

2011-11-02T08:27:00.000-07:00

MORAL OF THE STORY: Go and wish her a happy happy and then I might just blog again....

Pennies From Heaven Haiku Friday

2011-10-28T08:31:00.000-07:00

My sweet hairdresser
Said my haircut was gratis
She pulls that a lot
***
Then our sitter said
We were paying her too much
Gave me money back
***
I am so grateful
For the generous people
I have in my life

Weekend Recap

2011-10-24T10:03:00.000-07:00

Friday night my folks and my ma's BFF came over for dinner. Love that lady. Sure wish she lived closer than Virginia. Why does everyone live in Virginia?
Saturday morning I got up bright and early to make spinach dip and lemon bars for Cindita's sprinkle. Halfway to LA I realized I forgot to bring the spinach dip with me so I got to make two in one day.
Spent the day chilling with BFF & Co. and Cindita & Co. BFF made a delicious Reuben casserole that we got to eat outside. All was fine and dandy until I was struck with a tension headache that had me in bed by 8. Party pooper right here, folks!
Sunday morning we left BFF's place and tried to get Casey to nap before heading to Westwood for a brunch with my Jew friends. We took a nice stroll on the beach but the fog was thick. Then to kill time while the child napped in the car, I took Husband by my old place near Korea Town. Those were the days.
After a delicious kosher brunch, we headed home and dove right into our pajamas at around 3 p.m.
Kiyah has had 2 accidents in the house in the past 2 days. One was in Casey's play area, the other by Casey's high chair... for no reason. Both times she was given the option of being let out or actually was put out. I don't know if this is a vendetta against him, if she can sense Segundo and is pissed another one is on the way or she's incontinent.

Crazy News Haiku Friday

2011-10-21T08:21:00.001-07:00

Aunt Flo never came
I jumped the gun, bought a test
2 pink lines, 1 faint
***
Just a month ago
We took out the ring for good
Seems impossible
***
No one reads this blog
So I'm "coming out" on here
But not on facebook

I'm blogging!

2011-10-20T13:54:00.001-07:00

The Good

Kiyah is eating and pooping again but her eating is picky at best and her poop is not exactly solid.
Husband is virile and I am fertile.

The Bad

The server went down and so all day long it has been "beeeep ... beeeep ... beeeep"
My opponents in Words With Friends don't play fast enough and I hardly play well enough.

The Ugly

Casey waking up every morning with a full diaper.
Having to use baby wipes on my dog's ass.

Kiyah Update

2011-10-19T10:40:00.000-07:00

I was raised differently when it comes to pets than most folks. Some of my closest friends are willing to go deep into debt because they feel it is their responsibility to keep their pet alive and in great condition for as long as humanly possible. I am not one of those people. When Kiyah had to have her tumor removed, I spent the close to $2,000 dollars mostly because I felt super guilty. And she was bleeding all over my house and her body was no longer in one solid piece so we really had to get that taken care of. However, the facts are: Kiyah is ten; Kiyah is a dog; We really don't have that kind of money.
This weekend I noticed something was up because Kiyah stopped begging for food. Another clue was coming home and finding the ham and cheese pieces I'd thrown in the yard in the morning still there in the afternoon. She hasn't really been eating or pooping since I'd say Saturday. Husband called the vet and they wanted to see her and it was going to cost roughly $500 for the visit and tests. No.
We decided to give her some Milk of Magnesia and see if that would help get things moving. There were traces of loose stool in the yard so at least she is no longer all backed up. Last night I hand fed her some more ham and cheese so at least she's eating. And this morning she jumped on the bed to snuggle with me and the boy so I guess she's not in too much pain.
Think good thoughts for her.

MORAL OF THAT STORY: I'm just not the pet owning type I guess.

Lagging

2011-10-18T10:14:00.000-07:00

I am truly sucking when it comes to blogging lately. Let's see if I can do some sort of re-cap of the goings on in the Friday family.
Last week, Maria got to go to Disneyland for her birthday and my folks were in Vegas so that meant I had to take Thursday off and Husband took Friday off and we played stay-at home parents. There was a wee heatwave so that meant outside play was sort of limited. This lead both of us to the mall playground with the kid. Never thought I'd see the day I'd do that.
Saturday morning I got to have a grown up breakfast sans Husband and child. I met up with my friend PJP and his wife and we went to breakfast at an Oxnard staple: Mrs. Olson's Coffee Hut. Their Bloody Marys are strong and spicy. However, there is usually a line out the door so plan to get your whole group there early. It's worth the wait but they won't let you in unless all of your party is present.
Later that day, we took the kiddo to the pumpkin patch. He naturally tried to pick up only the biggest pumpkins. The only pumpkin he actually picked up belonged to another kid who was nice enough to humor mine. Casey's fear of livestock is still quite strong.
Sunday was a pretty chill day. We took the dog to the groomer in the morning. We hit up the mall and I just want to give a shout out to Macys for the following story. In August I tried on that pair of jeans and they fit but I bought another color in the same size and style. I took the tags off, tried the pants on and they were cut wrong so they did not fit. I assumed since I had no receipt and no tags I was stuck with a $45 pair of jeans I would never be able to wear. Luckily, the nice lady let me use my Macys statement as a receipt and she gave me store credit. I bought makeup. Holler.
Monday I had to go back to Macys (my 3rd trip to the mall in 4 days) because the nice lady who exchanged my jeans had my drivers license. Kiyah appears to be sick and won't eat a thing. Not even ham or cheese, two of her favorites. She's drinking water by the gallon but won't poop. Constipated maybe? It's looking like I get to be the lucky one to give the dog an enema or a laxative. Awesome.

Haiku Friday the 14th

2011-10-14T09:34:00.001-07:00

All day with Casey
It was such a frickin' treat
Just mother and son
***
We hit up the park
And then the mall playground. Wha?
I must be a mom
***
Stay at home parents
You get mad props from this gal
That is some hard work

Monday Numbers

2011-10-10T10:09:00.000-07:00

Kiyah turns 10 years old today. If my Grandma Elsie were still alive, she would say that it is Kiyah's Golden Birthday for turning 10 on the 10th.
I weigh 210 pounds. Still.
My LDL, cholesterol and triglycerides are all about 30 points higher than they should be. Thanks for that information, Dr. T!
Today I found a direct deposit from the US Treasury in the amount of $333.33 in my checking account. I had another one on August 22 for $166.67. This is a total of $500 and I have no idea why.
Casey took his 1st shower on Sunday and I'm not sure if he knew what to make of it.
We spent over $70 at Big Lots this weekend on Halloween decorations.
I have 17 games of Words with Friends going. Play me! Friday805

Yom Kippur Haiku Friday

2011-10-07T10:04:00.000-07:00

8 a.m. blood draw
A great way to start the day
Nice phlebotomist
***
9:30 gyno
Grabbed some McDonald's breakfast
Read EW
***
Doctor's doors were locked
Seems as though my appointment
Was in Ventura***

***In other words, my ass was in Oxnard killing time instead of working and those damn people scheduled me in another city! Um, helllooo? I've only been a patient there for years and have always gone to the Oxnard office! Grrrrr.....

Mad Hatter Day

2011-10-06T09:05:00.000-07:00

Seems like a good day for schnippets since I haven't really cared about the blog this week:

Crusty's boda was fantastic. Pictures can be found here.
Spanx are super uncomfortable but they get the job done. While I was still a hefty matron, at least my dress zipped up. The lady photographer also told me my boobs looked fantastic.
Apparently I'm terribly out of shape and getting old because while I never got a hangover, wearing high heels and dancing the night away has apparently broken my feet. I'm still feeling it and it's like five days later already.
Husband turned 37 yesterday. It's a nice feeling that I will always be younger than him (regardless of how old I feel).
Words with Friends is my new favorite thing and I have about 15 games going on facebook. If you want to play me, random lurkers, my handle is Friday805.
I stinkin' love October. Halloween decorations are already up. Yesterday it rained like a bastard so it totally feels like fall. I'm wearing a sweater. It's just great.

Happy Birthday, Husband

2011-10-05T13:25:00.000-07:00

So Long, September Haiku Friday

2011-09-30T09:30:00.000-07:00

It's out with the "old"
Dad's officially retired
I guess I'm the "new"
***
Tomorrow Crust weds
So tonight we shall rehearse
First? Mani, pedi
***
Only work 'til noon
So much work to accomplish
So I goof off here

The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

2011-09-29T09:58:00.000-07:00

The Good

Pay day
Husband is home for a week and a half
It's National Coffee Day

The Bad

I don't know if it's "bad" or "sad" or both but my Dad's retirement dinner is tonight. He's the boss of me, you know. It's going to be super hard coming to work without the bonus of seeing my Dad almost every day in the office down the hall.

The Ugly

I went off birth control and thus my face decided to break out and I'm cramping even though I am not men-stru-ating.
The heartburn I had last night threw me into a crazy dream where I was telling Husband I was pregnant. Pregnancy and heartburn go hand in hand for me. I hate it.
A bug bit me on the side of the face so I hope the swelling goes down before taking pictures on Saturday.
Having to wear glasses at Crusty's boda because, let's face it, I'm blind without them.

Matronzilla?

2011-09-28T08:17:00.000-07:00

I got my hair trimmed last night so I wouldn't look like I have a mullet for Crusty's boda. Afterward, I went over to her folks' house and saw her dress and how skinny she is and the beautiful shade of auburn her hair is now. What a bride she will make, friends! Anywho, apparently my insecurities about being a fat matron crept over into my dreams because this is what went down in Slumber Town last night:

I had the most complicated dress in the history of dresses. It had at least three pieces to it and I had to try several times to get into it.
My dress was straight and tight and I could barely walk in it. Thus, my strappy shoes were literally rubbing together as I tried to walk and kept getting tangled into one another.
All of Crusty's old college roommates decided they wanted to be in the wedding, too, so they all became last minute bridesmaids and we all had very different dresses on.
Crusty's veil was this animatronic number with a Sesame Street theme (like, puppets attached) that actually sang the Sesame Street song while she wore it.
The wedding was being held in what was basically a dirty ol' Moose Lodge.
The "choir" started singing Christmas carols instead of the Wedding March.
Crusty was blonde so I knew it wasn't real.

Right? What the hell? I guess I have wedding on the brain. My dress should be ready to be picked up from the dry cleaners this afternoon and I get to try it on with my new Spanx undergarments. I tried on the actual girdle last night and dear Lord that sucker is tight. When I rolled it off, my panties came off with it. I will say the bra-llelujah is the most comfortable and nice fitting bra I have ever worn even if it is not attractive in the least. And, Spanx? If you're listening, maybe a more discreet packaging is in order when you ship your undergarments. I don't think my office needed to see SPANX in bold print splattered on the side of your box. Ordering a girdle should be more subtle... like ordering a dildo. Plain, unmarked boxes, people.

MORAL OF THAT STORY: I apparently need to lay off the methamphetamines before bedtime.

Busy Week Begins

2011-09-27T12:31:00.000-07:00

Today: Work, pick Casey up from Maria's, drop Casey off with his grandparents, get my haircut, pick Casey up, go see Crusty, buy milk, go home.
Tomorrow: Nothing solid on the books other than work but methinks there will be boda-related activities so I am at Crusty's disposal. Also, Husband comes home.
Thursday: Pay day! Work, orientation for Casey's new sitter, go to my dad's retirement dinner.
Friday: Work half day, go to lunch with Crusty (unconfirmed), get our mani/pedi, pick up Casey and Husband, go to rehearsal and rehearsal dinner.
Saturday: Be at the bride's disposal and offer to be her shuttle service, be a part of picture taking and wedding festivities, party hearty and get to spend the night at the Pierpont in Ventura.
Sunday: Family party for Husband's birthday which is actually not until next Wednesday but why not tack on a few more things on an already hectic week?

Weekend Wrap Up

2011-09-26T11:00:00.000-07:00

Friday Night
It's been a couple years since I've had my soon to be 5 year-old nephew over for a sleepover so we decided to do that. His folks dropped him off and he was wearing Skurvy pajamas that he saved just for the sleepover so I put mine on, too, so we could match. He loves the movie Cars so Husband made him "fast car" chicken nuggets. He and Casey played with all of Casey's toys. It was a lot of fun. I consider it practice. He and Husband played Playstation. It was very interesting to hear Ethan talk and recognize him speaking in the same cadence as my brother. It was also kind of hilarious to hear his stories about sharks and how often he called Husband "dude."

Saturday
Let's just say that 5-year old nephews are loud. He woke up and hit the ground running. He wanted to eat and drink just about anything we had for breakfast. When his mom picked him up he said he had fun until she picked him up because he never wanted to leave. That was sweet to hear. After they left, my folks took me and Husband and Casey to Ojai for lunch. I have to brag that for a one year-old, Casey is so good at restaurants. He just loves to go out. Mom and I shopped for a bit while he played in the park with Dad and Husband. We also cleaned out the rafters to try and get rid of my grandparents' old stuff. I was hoping to find treasure like on American Pickers but all we found were some stinky old Samsonite luggage and some 50-year old Tiki torches in horrible condition. Later that night we bbq'd tri tip and had Kitty over for dinner, many beers and Bridesmaids. Have you seen that movie? Oxnard is in it. And it's hilarious.

Sunday
We did very little aside from go to Ethan's teeball game at 9 a.m. The marine layer was so thick it was practically raining. Casey got to tire himself out at the park and ended up taking a 2.5 hour nap. We stayed home for the rest of the day and in the afternoon Casey and I took a nap for an hour and a half. Lazy Fridays. I got to watch New Girl and I think it's a very funny show but I'm on the fence if liking it makes me a hipster.

Welcome Autumn Haiku Friday

2011-09-23T08:26:00.000-07:00

First Day of Autumn
Wee raindrops on my windshield
Skies and clouds are gray
***
The sun will peek out
For a bit this afternoon
Nice, mild, fall weather
***
Darker earlier
My favorite time of the year
Perfect for snuggles

The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

2011-09-22T08:17:00.000-07:00

The Good

Sweater weather
Fall arriving officially on Friday
Pretty soon I can start putting out Halloween decorations

The Bad

Casey waking me up at 5 a.m. so we could get a head start on the day
My dog acting like she's starving and stealing Casey's cheese
Dealing with insurance companies

The Ugly

Buying "super duper" control Spanx in XL
Paying as much for said Spanx as I did for my Matron dress
Spanx calling their back fat eliminating bra the "Bra-lellujah"

Conclusion of Weight Watching Wednesday

2011-09-21T08:48:00.000-07:00

So I quit myfitnesspal.com. I'd like to apologize if I recruited you only to ditch you. I have to say, I lost interest pretty quickly with the whole logging what I eat thing. I think it was an eye-opening experience and it helped to actually see what I was eating and that it was in no way in my calorie range. Then again, I'm not even sure I was calculating my serving sizes properly. Either way, I was eating more than I should. It definitely assisted me in kicking the snack habit. I don't really do that much any more. The workplace candy dish, for the most part, is left alone. I have a couple cups of coffee, breakfast, lunch and dinner. I still aim to only have a beer a night. It's good to have goals.
I also couldn't figure out how to add my exercise on that thing and didn't really put forth too much effort in learning how to do so. No, I don't go on walks. I don't lift weights. I don't participate in an exercise program. However, I do spend most of my evening chasing after Casey or carrying him to and from places he should or shouldn't be. I also am constantly cleaning up at home and constantly running around the office. I don't feel sedentary, per se, but I don't feel particularly active, either. Maybe later, things will be less hectic and I will have a husband that doesn't live in another city for most of the week and I can actually have a fitness program. I guess this is just the way it is for the time being.
Last Sunday, we took the baby and the dog for a long walk to the Coffee Bean about a mile away. We played in the park. I cleaned the house for most of the afternoon. I feel like I accomplished something. Then, I blew it all with too many beers, leftover pizza and chips & dip. I paid for it, too, with some serious heartburn. I guess what it all boils down to is, I weigh what I weigh right now. I can try to move more and eat less but I just can't check in on a website or step on a scale every time I turn around. The best I can do is try to enforce that thing called self-control a little more often and not obsess. Clearly, obsessing is not working for me.

Movie Review Monday

2011-09-19T09:18:00.000-07:00

In a move that was quite extraordinary, we finally made it back to the movie theater to watch a film on the big screen. We ended up seeing Drive with Ryan Gosling. I was misled by the trailer because I anticipated an action movie in the vein of Gone in 60 Seconds. The reviews on this movie are golden. The critics are raving about how it's the perfect date movie because it has a romantic angle. The cast is stellar. Truly, this movie should have rocked my socks off. Sadly, it didn't. A lot of that "romance" was long stares between Gosling and the very cute Carey Mulligan with little to no dialogue. We only got to see two car chase scenes and the rest was pretty basic driving. I will say, though, that there are some of the most violent images I have seen on screen in this movie. Ryan Gosling is truly a fantastic actor. He can say so much without saying a word. His subtle expressions and body language make him truly unique in his field. As for the movie itself, Husband noted it's like they pull you in with a smattering of action and violence and just when you're on the edge of your seat, we're back to the scenes of zero dialogue and staring. Meh. I guess it was ok but for my first trip back to the theater, I expected way more. We probably should have gone to see The Warrior.

Morning Commute Haiku Friday

2011-09-16T08:24:00.000-07:00

Casey helps me out
He opens the garage door
With his wee finger
***
Strapped in the car seat
He gets his wow-wow and truck
Vinylmation toys
***
His window rolled down
Grown ass men waving, smiling
To Casey's straight face

The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

2011-09-15T08:51:00.001-07:00

The Good

Only had one beer last night!
It's starting to feel like fall.
Pay day!

The Bad

Making our first car payment.
Not getting any sleep last night.

The Ugly

Casey vomiting before bedtime, up all night crying because he can't breathe out of his nose and the sound he made as he rolled off the bed because of all the tossing and turning he was doing. I would have stopped him but I was in a Benadryl coma.
Why Benadryl? My flu shot had a crazy reaction and now I have a 5" in diameter red splotch under my arm at the injection site.

Weight Watching Wednesday

2011-09-14T10:24:00.001-07:00

So I've been using myfitnesspal.com for about two weeks now. I haven't gained or lost from what I can tell but it is definitely helping me learn a thing or two about what I put in my mouth. I mostly log on Monday through Friday during working hours. Weekends I just don't want to be bothered with being online or on my phone app which I find increasingly annoying to play with.
Last week's goal was to have a drink a night and I totally passed that test with flying colors. I only had two Hershey kisses out of the snack drawer at work whereas before I'd take about 2 an hour. Or more. Yeah... candy drawers are the devil.
Naturally, the weekend messes up everything. My mother and I went shopping and I was all excited about the extra walking I was getting in when she told me about her free piece of candy at Godiva card and that she had a gift certificate for The Cheesecake Factory and we were all going to eat it. And eat it we did. I had a red velvet cheesecake. Are you kidding me? But whatever. We walked and then I walked later at the park.
This week, my goal is to snack less. Monday was a birthday at work so we had cake but yesterday I didn't have a single snack. Too bad I had two beers on Monday and three last night. Damn you, company! Why must you come over and encourage me to imbibe.
So yeah. That's how things have been going. I don't really need to blog it here as I have that other website to track things but what's the fun in that if the blog gets neglected?

TMI Tuesday

2011-09-13T00:00:00.000-07:00

This used to be a place where I'd come and do some sort of sexualized meme but for today it is where I will share some soul-baring bullshit. Strap yourselves in, it's going to be a bumpy ride. When I was in high school, I had a friend named M. She was a little on the butch side and played soccer. She was very funny and random and shared a love of Muppets. I genuinely considered her one of my closest girlfriends. She used to come over to my house and I always gave her back rubs and made her popcorn after soccer practice. I know where your mind is going right about now, but I was a junior in high school and went to a Catholic school my whole life. I was totally naive about homosexuality aside from whatever experiences I had with my uncle and his "roommates." Ok? For me, she was just a friend.
Then, she started writing me some really romantic sounding notes and it started to get a little weird. She was part of my circle of friends so I didn't make too big of a deal about it but I definitely was getting a vibe from her. Once, she got super mad at me in my bedroom with my parents downstairs and kind of attacked me? Yeah. My dad had to ask her to leave. Once, I was babysitting BFF's doggies while her family was away and when I came outside she was sitting there waiting for me with a mix tape of some R&B songs she made for me. That seemed more like something you'd do for a boyfriend (and seemed a bit like she was following and/or stalking me) and I'd be lying if I said shit wasn't starting to get real awkward.
Once, she spent the night at my folks' house while they were out of town. It was a bunch of us girls and we were drinking and she wanted to sleep in my parents' bed with me but I wouldn't let her and so she slept in the doorway of their room. She also wouldn't stop fucking with me one morning and our friend Walter leaped over and tackled her like she was a dude. The last straw, though, was when we were spending the night at a mutual friend's house after graduation. We had all been drinking (our parents let us do that shit and it was not a big deal because no one was driving so don't judge) and we all slept in the same room. In the middle of the night I felt a hand rubbing my midsection and just under my boobs. Yeah. It was her. I leaped out of bed and locked myself in the bathroom and bolted as soon as I could, leaving her far behind.
I didn't talk to her for years and years after that and all was good in the world. Then, being the forgiving and eternally optimistic person I am, I allowed her back into my life briefly about three years ago though I can't recall the reason why. Shortly after we had started talking again on the phone, she sent flowers to me at my office. Gerber daisies. My favorite. Then she sent me a quite pricey Dodgers pullover. Shortly thereafter, she said she was sending me a plane ticket so I could go visit her in Florida. I accepted the other gifts sort of unwillingly prior to that but this made me put my foot down. I told her she was being inappropriate and immediately cut off contact once again.
This past Sunday I get a text from a number I don't recognize saying something about how tragedies like 9/11 shouldn't be the reason we tell people how we feel about them but "I love you and am glad you are a part of my life." Something like that. I replied "Thank you for the sentiment, I'm not sure who this is as you are not in my contacts." The response read something like "If this is still Randi, this is M, also known as Voldemort. You still cross my mind." She knows she is someone who must not be named. She knew she shouldn't have texted me; I know that. What I don't know is that why I'm still on her mind. Why can't she let a sleeping dog lie? Husband wanted me to send her a message that he didn't want her talking to me but I just let it go. I deleted the text and didn't respond and never intend to. There is nothing worse than that kind of blast from the past. I can't escape that shit. Any of my actual exes I would be fine talking with, and the fact that I refer to her in the same category as an ex pretty much makes me want to throw up in my mouth. There. Thanks for letting me get that off my chest.

Weekend Recap

2011-09-12T09:49:00.000-07:00

Friday night we did NOTHING and it was AWESOME. Husband was burning off the grill to make us steaks so there was a plume of smoke rising from the back of the house. A neighbor from across the street actually came over and knocked on the door to check and make sure we weren't being burned alive.
Saturday morning we did the annual block-wide yard sale at my folks' compound (a.k.a. gated community). I got to see a couple of my childhood friends' parents. There was a wee thunder shower. I made a whole $25. I got a steal on a gurgle jug. Kind of a funny story. The lady had a tag on it for $30 and I asked if that was really how much she wanted and she said she'd take $15. I asked if she'd take $10 and she met me in the middle at $12 but I walked away. I regretted it later and when I went back the jug was gone. When I asked her about it she said she wasn't going to sell it after all but lots of people had told her what it was and she was going to give it to her son and he'd love it because he loved fish and on and on. I was super sad and made it known. She said she'd call me if she decided to sell it later. I pouted a bit more and told her I'd really like it and that it was still there so it must be a sign I should have it. After a bit of begging, I bought it off her for $20. Nice job, Randi. Could've had it for $12.
We skipped the festival I haiku'd about but our friends did come over and we spent $150 on Chinese take out and ate it all like a bunch of pigs and got drunk on Taiwan Beer. Then we played Glee Wii Karaoke and made fools of ourselves. It's fun being around a 5th and 7th grader. Their folks were a blast, too. Oh and Michigan won so Husband was elated.
Sunday was dress shopping for Crusty's boda. I found something at Nordstrom's thankfully but let me tell you, no one sells fancy dresses this time of year apparently. What a nightmare of a shopping experience. Luckily the dress was less than $150 and still looks great. I also got a steal on some chucks. $25! Must be my bargain weekend.
Krystee came over for a visit. Chargers won. Dodgers lost. I ate a red velvet cheesecake from The Cheesecake Factory and I'm pretty sure it wrecked my stomach. We took a long walk and played at the park. Awesome weekend.

Hooray for Short Weeks Haiku Friday

2011-09-09T08:35:00.000-07:00

Thank God it's Friday
5 days work in 4 days time
Ready to relax
***
Yard sale tomorrow
Then out of town visitors
A beach festival
***
Shopping on Sunday
A dress quest with my mother
Wish me lots of luck

Good, Bad and Ugly

2011-09-08T14:02:00.001-07:00

The Good

For the past two days I have stuck to my goal of water at lunch and one drink a night. I had 2 Hershey's kisses yesterday but that's an improvement over the handfuls of candy I was taking out of the work dish on a daily basis.
Casey slept from 7:30 pm to 6:30 am with hardly a peep. He sort of cried in his sleep for a bit around 2:30 am but I didn't go in to soothe him and he seemed to stop on his own. Awesome.
Husband comes home today and we have company coming this weekend!

The Bad

I looked up my BMI and it said the word "obese."
I'm waiting on quite a few things in the mail that I want here now but aren't here like: insurance refunds, my Disney Rewards toy, my vanity plates for the Flex. TGIFWGN. Get it? Ha! But yeah, I have none of those things.

The Ugly

I ate Filipino food yesterday and got exploding ass syndrome (EAS for short). How does one count calories when lunch blows right through you? Literally?
Casey choked on a pasta noodle the other night at dinner and totally booted. So gross.

Humpday Musings

2011-09-07T08:43:00.000-07:00

Do you see that picture there? That's me wearing the Muppet shirt I was hell bent on wearing. When I got it, it was almost too small. As in, it was skin tight. And it was a "girly" fit XXL. I cautiously stretched that thing out and wore it over to BFF's place this weekend for her Labor Day BBQ. Her sister snapped that picture and at first I was like "At what point was Casey playing with a beached whale?" and then I realized "Wow, that's ME." I'm sure it's a bad angle or whatever but there is no denying the fact that the person in that picture is a 210-pound Randi. And I am pretty sure that beer in my hand, one of many that day, is part of the problem.
I am going to be a bridesmaid in Crusty's wedding soon and I'm disgusted to know that I will be photographed multiple times at this current girth. I know, no one is there to see me; they're there to see the bride and groom. But still. There's this thing I have called pride and I'm not proud of the fact that I have let myself go. I want to wear the clothing in my closet without wondering if it is hugging every roll of fat on my body. I want to button my pants effortlessly and I'd really like it if those pants were the size 12s currently hanging in my closet that haven't been worn in over 2 years.
Yesterday started "Day One" of my September weight-loss program. Andrea introduced me to a website called myfitnesspal.com so I'm logging the food I eat during the day, at least during work hours. I'm trying to cut my drinking waaaaaay back this month so my goal is not to crack a beer or pour a glass of wine until 7 pm. The key words there are "a beer" or "a glass." That's got to be my weekly goal so I can avoid drinking empty calories. I also need to avoid the candy dish at work at all costs. I'm picking water over soda for lunch. I'm being more cautious ordering off the menu.
It's got to be baby steps or I will fail and there is simply too much at risk to fail. I'm in my mid-30s. I'm a mother of a one-year old and I am planning on getting pregnant again real soon. I cannot and will not be a statistic or a stereotypical, overweight American. There is no excuse for me to weigh this much. Period.

MORAL OF THAT STORY: A picture is worth a thousand words.

Food Truck Haiku Friday

2011-09-02T08:38:00.000-07:00

It was called Ahn-Joo
Korean snack bar food truck
Run by Debbie Lee
***
A finalist on
The Next Food Network Star show
Oxnard is so hip
***
We waited so long
The food was pretty great though
Thanks, Heritage Square

Bridal Shower On A Budget

2011-08-30T12:44:00.001-07:00

Crusty's bridal shower went off without a hitch. I had an "afternoon tea" theme and chose the colors tangerine and pink.
Oprah provided the sandwich recipe. I didn't use the tarragon in the egg sandwiches and no one seemed to care or notice. I also didn't carefully garnish my sandwiches with the parsley and toasted sesame seeds (because who has the time?) so I just sprinkled some over the finished product. These were super delicious and although I don't care much for Oprah, I learned that bitch knows a thing or two.
I didn't serve alcoholic beverages during snack time because it was a tea so I had tea put out, but you can't have a shower without some booze. I decided to do a toast with a champagne cocktail. The recipe is easy enough: 1 sugar cube in the bottom of a champagne glass, enough Chambord to drown said cube, then fill the glass with champagne (sparkling white wine for you people that insist on proper terminology). It was a hit with everyone in attendance so Andrea can save it telling me no champagne is delicious.
Crusty's mom provided the cookies, lemon bars and shortbread. My mom provided the bacon and swiss quiche with fried onion rings. Husband provided even more traditional tea cookies from Cost Plus World Market. Nothing wrong with asking a couple peeps to chip in.
I recommend the website Beau-Coup for favors as they had a wide selection and my order was processed with the quickness. Since we were having a tea, I went with small tin canisters with green tea leaves inside. Made some personalized stickers and voila! A usable and adorable take-away. This was probably the biggest expense of the shower.
At the risk of sounding like Martha Stewart, I try to make use of things I have at home so I don't have to spend too much extra money. For the centerpieces, I used some collectible tea cup sets my Gran left me and filled them with some brightly colored flowers. They didn't break the bank and looked really cute on the table.
Nothing adds a little bit of color for not a lot of money like balloons and crepe paper.
If you really want to get the crowd riled up, tell 'em it's time for games. I chose two but decided to skip the "make a dress out of toilet paper" tradition. The first game I wrote the names of 30 couples and they had to answer what TV show they were on. It was timed. Timed things make people mad. The other game was a word scramble using wedding associated words. Apparently the ladies wanted these words to be naughty. Lesson learned for the next shower.
Pictures can be seen here.

Last Haiku of August Haiku Friday

2011-08-26T08:14:00.000-07:00

This month sure flew by
One party is behind me
One more tomorrow
***
Still have to clean house
Got to the market, make food
And then decorate
***
All while on the rag
And with a sick, needy kid
Wish he could cry more

The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

2011-08-25T08:53:00.000-07:00

The Good

My period did actually come last night even though it should have been here yesterday morning. That means I'm not pregnant. Holler.
Crusty arrived safely on California soil so we get to kick it.
A co-worker returned the $50 bill that fell out of my pocket this morning.
It's my niece Leigha's birthday and National Banana Split Day.

The Bad

I'm not feeling super prepared for Crusty's shower on Saturday.
Casey is sick.
Seeing Andrea had a case of the sadz.
Husband is out of cell phone range (and away from home) until Friday.

The Ugly

Casey being sick is gross. Lots of snot and coughing. He also vomited because he was crying so hard last night. It got everywhere, even on me. I stripped him down and had him stand by the bath while it was running and he peed on my foot.
The goddamn fruit flies in my house thanks to a plum tree in my yard that drops plums like whores drop them panties. No matter how often I pick up dog poop and plum droppings, the flies remain.

Happy 1st Birthday, Casey

2011-08-24T08:18:00.000-07:00

I realized I never told my labor story so I thought today, on the anniversary of Casey's birth, I would share it here. On the morning of Monday August 23rd, I had a checkup with my OBGYN and had expected to hear I was dilated. He said nothing was happening and I have to admit I was mighty disappointed. Apparently he sensed this because he said he was going to stimulate my cervix and went about elbow deep into me and poked around in there. Can you say "Ouch!"? Dr. Cole told us to return just after lunch and he would check on me again.
When we returned, he said there was some softening of the cervix but he said he'd see me next Thursday for a follow up. In other words, don't expect to be having a baby any time soon. Mind you, at this point I'd been on maternity leave for a week already because I was gigantic and I was getting pretty stir crazy. Husband and I went home and I took a long nap on the couch. He was starting to heat up leftover ribs and preparing to make some corn on the cob. At around 5 pm, I was bouncing on a yoga ball and checking the computer when all of a sudden I heard a popping sound.
That popping sound was not the yoga ball; it was my water breaking. I instantly went into this sort of out-of-body zen mode and walked to the restroom to clean up and change into dry pants. We thought we'd have to wait it out and count between contractions but I went into rapid contractions almost immediately so it was off to the hospital with us.
Contractions did not feel good at all. They were like menstrual cramps on crack. We checked in downstairs and it was up to be evaluated. The nurse had the nerve to say "We have to make sure you are really in labor" even though I was contracting all over the place. It turns out I went from slightly dilated to zero cervix in the time I was being evaluated so they checked me into my delivery room and gave me my epidural in record time. Husband, my folks and my brother and sister-in-law were all hanging out with me. By this time it was probably around 7pm or so and nothing was going on.
At around 9, the nurse had me start pushing. Curtis and Frances had long ago gone home. The epidural really prevented me from feeling anything so I imagined what pushing felt like. My "pushing" really wasn't getting the baby moving and after a while the doctor came in and asked me if I was trying to give the monitoring staff a heart attack. I had no idea what he was talking about but apparently every time I pushed, the baby's heart rate fell. He said I had to stop pushing and rest otherwise they were going to have to consider doing a c-section. It was at this point I took a nap. In the middle of my labor. Snores and all.
We decided to start pushing again at 1 a.m. Again, the epidural kept me from feeling anything at all so I really just visualized what I was supposed to be doing. Mom had one leg and Husband had the other. I faux-pushed for a half an hour and Casey Douglas Friday was born into the world at 1:37 a.m. on Tuesday, August 24th. The second they put him on my chest, he took a shit on me. Fecal matter would even stay on my wrist band for a while to come. He weighed 8.1 pounds and was 21.5" long. They kept having to check his blood for some reason or another by poking his itty bitty little foot and that made me super sad because I doubt that was the thing he wanted to feel upon first arrival into this crazy world of ours. All I wanted to was to hold him and never let him go.

MORAL OF THAT STORY: You may forget the pain of labor but you never forget the fruits of it. On my first anniversary as a mother I can honestly say I was incomplete before my son came into my world. At the risk of sounding too Jerry Maguire, Casey completes me.

Casey Tuesday

2011-08-23T09:45:00.000-07:00

Hello and welcome to the final installation of Casey Tuesday. He is 52 weeks old today. Today marks the first time I can not refer to him as any months old because tomorrow he will be a one-year old. I will not call him "12 months." That's just silly. The photo above was taken at his birthday party this past Saturday. It was right before he burst into tears when everyone sang happy birthday to him. It was also right before he dove into that cake and was covered in blue frosting. Of all the colors, I'd have to say blue stains the skin quite nicely. My wee smurf.
He was spoiled with so many nice things and so many people came over to celebrate the anniversary of his birth. We're so grateful for everyone who attended and everything he received. He was nice enough to take a nap while the adults ate their food and woke up just in time for cake. Opening gifts really was of no interest to him so he allowed his cousins Amari and Ethan to do that for him. In the middle of the chaos, he grabbed his harmonica and sat on Grandpa Dough's lap. Silly goose.
I'm pretty sure Casey is teething again otherwise he is re-entering the newborn stages of sleep. He wakes often and cries frequently. I'm not a fan. What I am a fan of is that he seems to be interested in Handy Manny, a Disney show that comes on at 6 a.m. He actually watches that show so I can lie in bed and not have to jump right up to entertain him. This is like the first program ever to capture his interest aside from the movie Cars. My boy is going to be a Disney fan just like his mama and that feels real good.
I decided I would stop the weekly Casey updates in the same way that BFF doesn't want to refer to her daughter as x-months old. I feel like you saw him through the fetal process and you've seen him through a year and that ought to do. I'll still bring him up when he does something interesting but I am not interested in making this a mommy blog.
And on that note, I will leave you with a link to our first family portraits and Casey's final installation of his monthly JC Penney Portraits. Twelve photo sessions in as many months, I'm surprised he's not throwing the Zoolander Blue Steel by now. Enjoy!

Monday Numbers

2011-08-22T10:56:00.001-07:00

We threw our 1st party at the new house on Saturday.
It was for Casey's 1st birthday although he doesn't turn 1 until the 24th.
About 40 guests came and spoiled my son senseless.
BFF & Co. spent the night and we drank 100 beers and stayed up until almost 12 a.m. talking smack around the fire. Love nights like those.
On Sunday we took our 1st family portraits.
I had bought a pair of size 16 jeans and when I tried to put them on at home, they didn't fit. I had tried on that size in another pair in the store and they fit, but ended up grabbing a different color off the shelf and they didn't fit. So... I have to assume those were cut/marked wrong. Let that be a lesson to you.
Yesterday was the 1st day in about 9 months that I didn't have some sort of alcoholic beverage.
Even though I have PMS and partied hard all weekend I weighed myself this morning. 210. Unacceptable.
I have less than 2 months to fit into a dress I have for Crusty's wedding otherwise it'll be a mad dash to find something that fits in time for the ceremony.

Harmonica Haiku Friday

2011-08-19T08:21:00.000-07:00

Prodigy? Thought so!
Casey loves harmonicas
Saw one at my mom's
***
Got his own last night
Started playing right away
We were all impressed
***
Not Maria though
He has one at her house too
Plays it all the time

The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

2011-08-18T08:27:00.001-07:00

The Good

All that's left to buy for Casey's 1st Birthday is food!
I got two more "yes" RSVPs for the shower.
My wee family now has some nice outfits for our 1st family portrait on Sunday.
It's Pay Day.
Cindita's ability to give good perspective.
Finding out I had rewards points I didn't know about and getting a diploma frame for the price of shipping and handling.
Marking items off the task list

The Bad

Debt
For some reason flies are swarming my house like it's Amityville.
Work is slower than cold molasses making for long days.

The Ugly

My jeans basically disintegrated yesterday due to excessive thigh chafing. And maybe age. But I think it's the former.
Buying size 16 jeans and not being pregnant.
FAT

I feel it is my responsibility to go back and remark on yesterday's post that was brought to you by the letters P, M and S.
First, I would like to say it is my privilege to be Crusty's Matron and in no way is throwing her a shower a burden or inconvenience. As a former event planner, the RSVP process is simply the bane of my existence.
Secondly, I am in no way mad at my brother for not attending my son's birthday party. I guess I'm disappointed that he suffers from memory loss but it's fine. He should go to the concert. I, personally, would just never get away with doing something like that. That's all.
Finally, I think I am realizing that mama needs a little bit more "me" time. Sometimes, being the task master in the world of household chores gets tiresome. I don't want to become that wife that barks orders at her husband. I just want shit done. That's all. I think if I had "me" time, I'd be able to decompress. I don't always want to have to be "wife" or "mother" or "daughter" or "sister" or "granddaughter." Sometimes, I just want to be Randi. Not Randi the dog-walker. Just Randi. Headphones on. Taking a long walk. Zoning out. Finding my Zen. I miss my Zen.

High Expectations

2011-08-17T09:57:00.000-07:00

I guess I expect a lot from people. Here are some examples:

I expected an RSVP to the invitation I sent you that specifically asks for an RSVP by a certain date. Don't respond to the mother of the bride. Don't tell the bride. Call me. I'm the one that would have fed you and/or hosted you in my house. It's my number listed there.
I didn't expect to have to follow up with an email that enables you to tell me that you forgot to call. Really?
I expected my brother to attend his nephew's first birthday party rather than going to some big ass hip hop concert. Instead I had to shrug it off because he seemed distressed to learn the party was on the same day. Like his wife didn't tell him that already.
I expected the trash would have been taken out last night but it wasn't.
I expected Husband to still have his curls for our family portrait. Instead he came home with a buzz cut.

The PMS is alive and well in my body today. I knew this was going to happen. It's one of the reasons I was trying to avoid having my son's birthday party the Saturday before I take the ring out. This is why I am writing this instead of yelling at people. God willing, this blog post will keep me from crying and being disappointed. I talk to my mom a lot, you know. Like more than once a day. She knows about all the mundane happenings in my life. The day to day goings on. She keeps telling me "It will get better." I have to assume that at 34 years of age, it's probably not going to "get better." I expect things will stay just about the same until the day I take my dying breath. Amen.

MORAL OF THAT STORY: "Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed." - Alexander Pope

Casey Tuesday

2011-08-16T08:41:00.000-07:00

Casey is 51 weeks old today. It is the last week of his eleventh month.Next Wednesday, he'll be a year old and I have to wonder if that will be the end of Casey Tuesday. That picture was taken at a party we went to on Saturday night. He ate his weight in Chex Mix so no DNA test needed, I know he's mine. The night before that we went to the fair and I learned that my son is not a fan of livestock but he loves "the sugar." He had tiny donuts, a pretzel, some of my ice cream and some strawberry lemonade. Needless to say, he was high as a kite as we walked to the car, chatted endlessly for about 2 miles and then a mile from the house he fell into a sugar coma. I was able to get him out of the car and completely disrobe him and change his diaper without interrupting his sleep. That was awesome. A couple times now, if he seems tired, I have been able to put him down in his crib without a bottle or rocking him and he falls asleep on his own. I hope this is a sign of things to come. Casey now walks constantly and he loves to pace back and forth across the living room while transporting a toy hither and yon. His new favorite item to play with is an electric toothbrush. I'm pretty sure it feels awesome on his gums since quite a few more teeth seem to be poking through.

Monday Schnippets.

2011-08-15T14:05:00.000-07:00

Went to the fair on Friday. Didn't go last year because I was too hugely pregnant. This time we brought the baby. We learned that he does not like livestock but he loves sugar in the form of tiny donuts.
Learned that wine drunk makes me Randy Randi and beer drunk makes me Crying Randi.
Went to a party on Saturday night on the top of the hills in Ventura, the very same place where I used to do cotillion in grade school!
Cleaned the house from top to bottom in preparation for Casey's 1st birthday party this weekend and today my arms are so sore I can hardly lift them to answer my work phone.
Spent a small fortune on buying decorations for said party on Saturday. I will not be buying my child a birthday present. I wonder if 20 years from now he'll resent that. Food and drinks have yet to be boughten. Yowzas.
Got home at lunch today to find that Husband now has a buzz cut. We have our first family portrait scheduled for this Sunday. I'm contemplating shaving my head on Saturday so the two of us can look like a couple of dykes with our curly headed baby boy on our laps. Le sigh.

Insomniac Haiku Friday

2011-08-12T08:50:00.001-07:00

I sure miss sleeping
I have a panting doggy
A teething baby
***
Husband has a cold
Add to that the teeth grinding
And of course snoring
***
Much tossing, turning
I resort to the ear plugs
Not so helpful though

Casey Tuesday

2011-08-09T08:19:00.000-07:00

Casey is 50 weeks old today. It is the third week of his eleventh month. He has begun walking. He likes to make "la la la" sounds like he is singing. If I thought he couldn't sit still before, he certainly can't sit still now. His new favorite thing to do is hold on to the table and walk around in circles. He has also discovered that he can crawl behind the couch and he thinks he is quite clever when he does so. We've pretty much completely stopped giving him baby food. Last night he and I shared some pasta and had ice cream for dessert. Bad idea, ice cream before bed time. Lesson learned. I randomly gave him a straw to try on Saturday and he actually drank out of it. Such tiny milestones that are so exciting to us. As we were pushing him around the market the other day, sitting like a big boy in the grocery cart, Husband remarked that he's like his own little person now. He's got good posture and interacts with people and points at things on the shelf that grab his interest. It's just super neat to think he'll be one in a matter of days.

Southern Comfort

2011-08-08T10:43:00.000-07:00

Since we don't get Netflix DVDs in the mail any more, I have resorted to watching movies on the TV... commercials and everything. Thank goodness for DVR and the ability to fast forward through those repetitive sons of bitches. This weekend, our double feature was brought to us by CMT. On Country Music Television, they show about 8 minutes of movie and 8 minutes of commercials. We watched Steel Magnolias and Fried Green Tomatoes, of which I had seen the former and not the latter. I have to say, I really enjoyed Fried Green Tomatoes but there is a lot of sad shit going on in that movie. And were they lesbians? I couldn't figure it out.
I liked that the lead characters in both movies were all strong, older women. In my opinion, while all of them are beautiful women, none of them were unrealistically so. They looked like they could be my neighbor or someone I would bump into on the streets. There was nothing extraordinary about the way either movie looked; not one bit of CG in either of them, no special effects or anything over the top. It was just fantastic storytelling acted superbly by actresses of the finest caliber. Have all the good movies already been made? Will there ever be a movie again that will have a lifetime affect on me like films of the 80s and 90s? Do you remember the way Steel Magnolias CRUSHED you? They just don't make 'em like they used to.

Busy August Haiku Friday

2011-08-05T08:16:00.000-07:00

Twelve birthdays this month
And one anniversary
August be crazy!
***
Yard sale this weekend
Then three parties in a row
One each Saturday!
***
First, Big Bill's Party***
Then one 'cause Capood turns one
And Crusty's shower!

***We suck because once again we were invited to see our LBC homies and we had to decline. Mother effing Carmageddon and then g'dang prior RSVPs. Grrrr.

Got My Hands Full

2011-08-03T11:08:00.000-07:00

There are a lot of things I can do with as a "single mother" but ultimately I get things done a little quicker when I don't have a child in my arms. Last night was trash night so I had to take out some trash and I'd rather not carry the boy with me while I have my arms full of garbage. Most of the time, I'll just run out the door and quickly take care of a thing or two while Casey is distracted by his toys. We have this sliding glass door and because the lock doesn't work on it, we use a metal bar in the frame so that it only opens about a couple inches wide. Most times I take it out of the frame and put it up high otherwise Casey just sits there and bangs metal against metal in an effort to drive me out of my mind.
Yesterday, I did not take it out of the frame and it was just leaning on the sliding door. So what did I do? I just closed that sliding door right behind me so Casey wouldn't end up elbow deep in the dog's water. Lo, the metal bar slid down and I was instantly locked out of my house. Naturally, I ran around front to check the door and, because I am super safe and cautious, it too was locked securely. Did I have my keys on me? My cell phone? No. That would be too easy. So there is Casey, looking at me from inside the locked house as I look back at him locked outside.
What kind of mother am I? How do I explain to the neighbors that I have to use their phone because my 11-month old is locked indoors alone with our huge dog who looks like she could eat you (even if she would merely lick you to death) and countless other hazards? I knew I had stashed a spare key in a cookie jar just inside the sliding glass door on top of the counter but I wasn't sure just how I was going to get at it. Mind you, the crack of the door is about 2 inches wide (if that) but my one arm had to not only fit through, but reach to the right, take off the top of the cookie jar and get into it to access that spare. Long story short, I did it. Of course I did. I'm super mom. And clearly, very flexible.

MORAL OF THAT STORY: He who sows hurry reaps indigestion. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Casey Tuesday

2011-08-02T08:12:00.000-07:00

Casey is 49 weeks old today. It is the second week of his eleventh month. His new favorite thing to do is grind his teeth and it makes me want to throw him out the window. He also loves to point his fingers when you are carrying him around like he's some sort of dictator. As far as walking goes, he's not gotten much further than taking about 4 steps at a time and falling on his butt. My Gran says it's because "he's got a heavy ass." God bless her and her 86-year old wisdom. This past weekend Casey and Sasha got to play again. He took his very first trip to Los Angeles to visit BFF and Babe in Culver City. It sure is nice having another baby close to his age within driving distance. I hope they grow up to love one another but right now they're still trying to figure each other out. Today's picture was taken while Mama was driving him to see Maria in the "new" Ford Flex. It rides a lot higher than Vehicular so he likes to look out the window and tell me stories about what he sees. He's laughing because I get in the car and laugh like one of those terrifyingly demented circus clowns and he thinks it's the funniest thing ever. Love my little Capood.

Movie Review Monday

2011-08-01T09:02:00.001-07:00

A lot of times I don't care what the reviews say because I like a particular actor or premise or director so I will see a critically panned movie because my gut tells me I might like it. And sometimes I do and I laugh and laugh during my repeated viewings while everyone tells me how much they hated said film. On the same premise, sometimes I will listen to the critics and I'll rent the Oscar-nominated film even if I have no desire to watch it and it will suck. Dinner for Schmucks falls into the former category; well the first part at least. The cast is chock full of funny folks so even though, say, Rotten Tomatoes gave it a 43%, I gave it a shot. And as we were watching this movie I said to Husband, "I sure hope this movie gets funny soon." A little later he said to me, "So when does this dinner happen?" Toward the end, we both said had we seen this in the theater, we would have gotten up and walked out. Why we sat through the entire DVD, I don't know. Maybe it's because it's the last disc we'll be getting in the mail from Netflix until they figure out their pricing and I felt obligated to? Is that it? My allegiance to Netflix? How two Gods of comedy like Paul Rudd and Steve Carell could have signed on to this adaptation of a supposedly well-received French film (Le Dîner de Cons) and the result was this pile of garbage... well I'll never know. They're both lucky they have Anchorman to make up for it. Lucky, I say.

Happy Birthday Andrea Haiku Friday

2011-07-29T08:05:00.001-07:00

Happy birthday, Friend!
Andrea is thirty-nine
She sure wears it well
***
Met her on Blogger
Just like I met my hubby
Keepers are found here
***
A nice way to say
"Ciao" to the month of July
August, be good, k?

Thankful Thursday

2011-07-28T09:10:00.000-07:00

I'm going to mix it up a little bit here and make today about things I'm stoked for:

having a car that is paid off
Kiyah is recovering well from her surgery
raises are in my husband and my future
we have a house and 2 running cars
we have food in our cupboards, clothes on our back and money in the bank
we are both employed
our son is healthy and happy and smart
Husband has been in Oxnard more than San Diego lately
BFF lives in LA now
having good friends that keep inviting us to parties we can't seem to make

This Little Blog o'Mine

2011-07-27T15:20:00.001-07:00

... I'm gonna let it shine! Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine!

So I used to have kind of a format that I'd come here and do. I'd movie review on Monday, Casey Tuesday, Moral of the Story hump day, Thursday was The Good, The Bad and The Ugly and on Friday I'd Haiku. I grow weary of it though. I grow a bit weary of blogging. Just recently I started a Twitter profile (Friday805 if you care) but I don't really "tweet" anything and I'm already sort of bored reading other tweets. Then I somehow fell into Google+ and have already quit because apparently my circles are too small and I find it really lame. I still like Facebook but I equate that to some sort of crack addiction so I can't even lump it into the ramblings here. Basically, I'm thinking of quitting the blog. I don't know when or how but ... well ... in a word ... "meh." I'm glad to have met so many wonderful people here and to have shared so many memories but I've got you all on Facebook and Gmail chat now anyway. Or maybe this is my period talking. We'll see.

MORAL OF THAT STORY: You gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away, know when to run. You never count your money when you're sittin' at the table, there'll be time enough for countin' when the dealin's done. - Kenny Rogers

Casey Tuesday by Numbers

2011-07-26T09:12:00.001-07:00

Casey is 48 weeks old today.

It is the 1st week of his 11th month.

On Monday, I sent out 19 invitations for his 1st birthday party which is less than 1 month away!

If everyone shows up there will be at least 46 people at our house that day.

It's scheduled for Saturday the 20th of August at 1 pm.

He can take about 2-3 steps at a time but gets scared and plops on his butt.

He can no longer fit in his 9-month clothing but 12-month fits just right.

He had his 1st M&M this weekend and demanded more until I stopped at about 10. I can't resist a crying baby that points at my candy. Or my ice cream for that matter.

His 11-month JC Penny portraits can be found here.

Movie Review Monday

2011-07-25T09:11:00.000-07:00

I've not really been on the best Netflix streak. Since they raised the prices, we're going to stop getting DVDs for a while and we'll be stuck with the sucky streaming library so I guess my Movie Reviews are going to be fewer and farther in between. Yesterday we watched Cedar Rapids. Husband described it as The Hangover meets the Midwest. Only The Hangover was funny. Basically, Ed Helms plays a naive insurance salesman who hasn't really ventured out of the security blanket that is his home town. As a matter of fact, he's sleeping with a teacher he had in junior high and he can still remember the birds that she taught about in her classroom. His insurance company sends him to this convention out of town where he meets some ne'er do wells and his life gets flipped upside down. This was super far fetched. He meets a hooker, "sucks the glass dick" and parties like a rockstar. Somehow, he also loses his integrity and manages to get it back. The cast is a group of well known comedic actors so I expected a little more. Oh well. That's all I got.

I Owe, I Owe Haiku Friday

2011-07-22T08:32:00.000-07:00

Tired of being poor
Overworked and underpaid
Budget manager
$$$
Spend way too much time
Balancing the checkbook and
Crunching the numbers
$$$
It could be much worse
In these economic times
I'm still complaining