Weigh In Wednesday

Weight: 220
I am up .8 so that's not great. I just need to focus. Doing better about smaller portions at dinner. Bringing my salads and healthy snacks to work. I think I blame whoever brought chocolate chips in to this office because I feel like it was my calling to eat them all.

Lifetime Steps: 859,286
That's 71,797 since last week which averages out to about 10.257 steps a day. I hit or exceeded my 10K step goals 5 days out of 7 last week. The weather has been great for lunch walks. Decorating for Christmas also helped boost. Last night I put the Dance Revolution game on the Wii and did three songs before my daughter informed me she wanted to stop dancing. I can see how that may be traumatizing for her.

Frame of Mind
Not great. On Friday night I had an anxiety attack/meltdown. It was not pretty and it affected my whole tiny family. I know I made myself feel like a pile of garbage so I can only imagine how Husband and the kids must have felt. Things have been much better since then because I have been making a very concerted effort to fix what I broke - both figuratively and literally. When I take my walks, I try to sort of get my mind in order and came to the conclusion that maybe I'm not the biggest fan of holidays. Like, I love the Christmas songs and decorations and the tree and the lights  and Santa and seeing how much it thrills the kids SO MUCH. When it comes to shopping, however, I hate it. I always feel like my gifts will disappoint and this is not something new. I can remember feeling like this ever since I started buying gifts for other people and the pressure I put on myself to impress the receiver of my gifts is hardly worth it. I miss my dad horribly during the holidays so I feel like I try to overcompensate the holiday cheer to make up for that and I end up being a monster when my attempts at frivolity and festivity backfire like they did on Friday night which led to me breaking my freezer door in what can only be described as a temper tantrum. Sigh. Anyway, onward and upward.
One of the many walk-selfies I've sent Husband in my sweet-ass walking shirt.

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