11.30.2016

Weigh In Wednesday

Weight: 219.2
I have lost 1.2 since last week and 3.8 since September 1. My goal is 190 but I swear once I see 200 I will do a cartwheel.

Lifetime Steps: 787,489
That's 57,510 for the week which averages out to 8,215 steps a day. Not too shabby but not great. Thursday and Sunday were the only days I hit or exceeded 10K. I spent a lot of time in the car driving to and from LA and Solvang on two separate days. I set up the Wii Dance Revolution game, now I just need to actually play it because boy does that thing work up a sweat and get the old heart racing!

Frame of Mind
I'm much more content now that Husband and Casey are back and I've kicked that cold. I'm also much busier around the house now that school is back in session and holiday schedules are temporarily behind us until Christmas. Last week I had a cold so I was not really hungry or drinking beer but I was also not going on my lunch walks. I was also not cooking so I feel like I ate considerably less since I had no Husband to feed. Monday was a crazy work day and yesterday was so windy so this week is not going so great so far in regards to lunch walking. However, last night we took the kids to see Santa and did a little extra walking around the shopping center to check out the decorations. Hopefully today I can start my walks back up again. I did do meal prep for four days this week and am focusing on smaller portions at dinner. While Husband was away I was hitting or exceeding 8 hours of sleep every night but those days are gone. Water consumption still proves to be an issue. I am going to finish reading Matilda today since that was the only book I was reading and Casey decided he no longer wanted to be a part of that book since we watched the movie midway through and now he knows the ending. I need to work on reading more and playing on the dumb phone less.

11.29.2016

Wrapping Up Thanks

23. To have my boys back home from Michigan
24. That my children are actually quite fond of one another
25. That I never had to learn common core because I would have failed 1st grade
26. To have learned how to cook for my family and now do meal prep for the week that saves us lots of money and has us eating much better
27. For the changing leaves
28. That HRC is supporting a recount
29. For the sausage we will get from the deer Husband shot
30. That we got our tree up this weekend

11.28.2016

Thanksgiving Catch-Up!

 We spent Thanksgiving
Me and Gaga and Christa
Up north in Solvang
 It was a ghost town
So we walked and window shopped
And enjoyed quiet
 So much fun was had
I got to nap and relax
Perfect Turkey Day



11.23.2016

Weigh In Wednesday

Weight: 220.4
I have lost .8 since last week and 2.6 since September 1. Not bad. It's the last day of my period more or less. I have had a cold since Sunday so eating has not been super appealing. This week has been kind of a bust as far as meal planning goes because I didn't bring my salads to work for lunch. I have also been eating dinner out because I don't want to cook or prep food with half my family gone. I went all day Sunday and Monday with no beer and only had one last night. I feel pretty good about that.

Lifetime Steps: 729,979
Only 58,080 steps since last week but again, I have had a cold so haven't walked during my lunch. I spent a lot of time in the car this weekend driving Husband and Casey to LAX and then back home again. It's still an average of 8,297 steps a day so I'm not too upset. Saturday was the only day I hit my step goal in the past week. Sunday, Christa and I did a lot of stair climbing at Dodger Stadium.

Frame of Mind
I really slept like garbage on Friday and Saturday but Sunday night I got almost nine hours of sleep, Monday, I got 9 and a half. Last night I got 9 and a quarter. I've been going to sleep early and getting up to let the dogs out and have gone back to sleep for the past three days. I feel like all that rest is really helping me get over this cold. I had a positively brutal mental breakdown the day Husband and Casey left and cried a river of tears. Lots of stress and anxiety. I should have taken my Xanax but didn't and I have had to deal with some regret over that. With them gone I've been on Facebook a bit too much but I'm getting better at tuning out all this negativity.

11.22.2016

Thankful Tuesday

16. For friends who come back home to visit their families during the holidays because I get to see them even though I don't get to travel very often.
17. For Skype that lets us keep in touch with the in-laws and now Casey & Husband while they are in Michigan.
18. For the rain we had on Sunday and the cooler weather that has followed.
19. For the Teavana Jade Citrus Mint and honey elixir that is making this cold I currently have bearable.
20. That I have been able to go to bed early and actually get 8-10 hour sleep the last two nights.
21. That I haven't had to and won't have to cook or make school lunches this week.
22. For the short work week and little getaway my mom and I have planned with Christa.

11.21.2016

Weekend Pics from Dodger Stadium












What a beautiful way to spend a rainy Sunday morning. Christa and I had a nice distraction from Husband and Casey being gone. We got to share a Dodger Dog and an ice cream and play. I got to say a little prayer for Papa. I think it was just what the doctor ordered.

11.18.2016

Haiku Friday

The wind is blowing
I dislike weather like this
Off to a bad start
***
Sadness in my heart
About Dad; Husband, Casey
Leaving for a week
***
But in my office
A surprise sign making me
Feel happy again

11.17.2016

Throwback Thursday

This week has been pretty weird here at work because I have had to repeatedly enter and type the date of November 18. Tomorrow is the three year anniversary of my dad's passing. Last week, I believe it was on the 8th (another horrible day), Facebook reminders showed me the post I had written telling our friends and family that he was in critical condition. Needless to say, it's rough to be reminded of such a difficult time. I miss my dad every day without fail anyways but boy did that eleven days three years ago destroy me.
I don't know when I started doing this exactly, but shortly after he passed away, any time I would see a Monarch butterfly pass by I would say "Hi, Dad." On Saturday we were hiking and we saw a Monarch and I told the kids to say hi to papa and Casey asked me why I did that when I saw a butterfly. I told him I missed my dad very much and it made me feel better to believe a butterfly was his way of checking in on me. I have been noticing on my walks that there are a lot of Monarchs about right now and actually just put it together that November is their usual time to start migrating because of the colder weather. What a nice coincidence of timing to see so many reminders of my dad when I need it the most.
I told Husband about this and it turns out he does it, too. When he got the news that he didn't get the job he applied for, he said he drove out to look at the islands from the coastline. A Monarch hovered nearby and he told it, "Not now, Doug." I thought that was pretty funny. Anyway, I'm not sure where I'm going with any of this other than during difficult times, finding a source of comfort in any object that brings you joy is always a good thing. We all need a little bit of comfort and joy these days. Maybe say hi to a butterfly for me.

11.16.2016

Weigh In Wednesday

Weight: 221.2
I guess that's down from last week about .6 so not too shabby. Down is down. On September 1st when I got my fit-bit I logged my weight as 222.9 so a total loss of 1.7 pounds. When I was talking to Andrea about my pants feeling looser she recommended I take my measurements so I did this morning... with one of those metal tape measures on my own so accuracy is questionable but here goes:
Bust - 44
Chest - 36
Waist - 39
Hips - 45
Thigh - 27
Arm - 14

Lifetime steps: 671,899
Since last week, that's 71,231 steps which averages out to be 10,175 a day. Thursday, Saturday and Sunday were the only days I hit my 10K but I also far exceeded them on those days to make up for the days I didn't get my wrist vibrate. I was happy to hike with the family on Saturday and then on Sunday I forced them to walk with me to the grocery store. Friday night I also dragged all of us to the pier for a walk to see the sunset and that was dope. Trying to cut back technology by being outdoors and moving is actually super great.

Frame of mind:
The Facebook app has been off of my phone for a week now. I occasionally log on to the browser but having the app gone has made a considerable difference in how often I log on. I still check on the actual computer but I'm dialing back my clicking of the like button, hiding a few folks and generally trying to not engage. It's made me feel considerably better. I haven't gotten very good at blocking out the news and I've yet to start a book. Husband has been commenting on my baggy jeans and I can actually stick my entire forearm down the side when they're buttoned so I guess they are looser and that makes me happy. I am feeling good about my eating habits and last Saturday marked the 6-month mark where I vowed to cut back my drinking. I drank much less this weekend than I usually do. Monday we celebrated birthdays and my brother's move so we had beers with the owner of the restaurant and I wasn't paying attention but I noticed I did drink less than I normally would have. Last night I had a small glass of wine with dinner and that was it. So baby steps, you know? Still need to work on water!

Also, since the family has been eating these like crazy for breakfast I thought I would share. I basically took my banana bread recipe and made them into muffins. Casey loves them and I feel much better about him eating this than frickin' Pop Tarts so...

Preheat to 325
In a bowl, mix:
2 c flour
2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp cinnamon

In the mixer, cream:
2/3 c butter
1 c brown sugar
When creamed, add 2 eggs.

Add the bowl mixture and when that's all nice and creamy add 3 already mashed ripe bananas. I added a few finely chopped apples slices this time around and it made a noticeable moisture difference. Bake for 45 minutes. I can usually get about 18 small muffins from that.

11.15.2016

Thankful Tuesday

I usually do this in November so why not now when I'm only 15 days into the month.
1. For my family, immediate and extended.
2. That Husband and I are both employed 
3. For Maria who takes such good care of my children
4. For my pets that amuse me: Betty, Mabel and the fish named Fire.
5. That Casey goes to such a nice school and has such a nice teacher
6. That I'm lucky enough to have had parents that made it possible for me to be a homeowner
7. That I have two cars that are paid off
8. That I was able to roll my stupid student loans into my mortgage so they are no longer a constant burden of worry
9. For the ability to spoil my children with the things they don't need and provide the things they do need
10. For friendships that span decades and seem to survive even when it's only texts keeping us together
11. That we are insured
12. That we live in California
13. For my education
14. That California legalized weed
15. For a nice cold beer at the end of the day

11.14.2016

Weekend Pics

I took about a million pictures this weekend because we spent a lot of time outdoors and it was just a beautiful couple of days.
 They line a couple streets in Historic Downtown Oxnard with flags. I weep.
 Christa got a big girl bed. She keeps asking if we want to see her new room.
 I had a bright idea to bring the dogs on a walk and this mess happened.
"Donald Trump Go Away Racist Sexist Anti-Gay"
They also lined the boardwalk with flags. Beautiful.
 Seal sanctuary hike on Saturday
 Family selfie
Tried working from home but it didn't quite work so I brought the kids to work so I could play catch-up while their dad caught up on sleep after coming home at 4:45 a.m.

11.11.2016

Zen Haiku Friday

Healing takes some time
Optimism is a choice
This is not the end
***
Now's the time to act
Put money where our mouths are
Fight for what we want
***
Good will trump evil
I will not feel defeated
Love will trump the hate

11.10.2016

Trolls

I really wasn't entirely excited about this movie in particular so I didn't have one iota of expectation walking into it. In an entirely selfless mom move, I let Husband stay home and took the kids to a movie they wanted to see. I know right? I'm a saint. We took in the very first show of Trolls on a Sunday morning and the theater was so packed we were basically in the front row. I guess my kids weren't the only one that wanted to see it.
As a grown up person, I was pretty optimistic considering the cast but I have grown cautious when it comes to Dreamworks movies. I guess I'm a Disney snob through and through. The only way I can describe this movie is that it was a musical rainbow. If you've seen Pitch Perfect, you know that Anna Kendrick can sing and she's the lead troll, Princess Poppy. Justin Timberlake plays her rival slash comrade and we all know he's got pipes. The soundtrack is incredibly fun and thanks to it being free for download on Amazon Prime, I now walk to it and play it for me and the kids at home. JT's "Can't Stop The Feeling" was basically my summer anthem as far as feel good music and the rest of the songs are just as good. I swear I couldn't stop the tears when he sings True Colors.
The movie looks like stop motion felt. It's a very warm and fuzzy kind of atmosphere. The Trolls are basically living a happy life full of dancing and singing and hugging but they fear the evil Bergens who think the only way they can be happy is if they eat the trolls. The Bergens show up and cause trouble and then Poppy and Branch have to save the day. It's a fun and silly adventure with some mildly scary parts but nothing a two year old couldn't handle. I laughed quite a bit. The kids were enthralled. I highly recommend it if you have kiddos.

11.09.2016

Weigh In Wednesday

Weight: 221.8
No change here. Staying strong at the 222. I still feel like my tummy is not as protruding. I noticed my jeans were looser than usual. I'm doing good bringing my salads to work. I need to work harder on drinking more water. Husband and I talked about cutting back our drinking. Saturday is the six month mark until my fortieth. I am optimistic that I can do the no drinking during the week thing... I just need a good start date.

Lifetime Steps: 600,668
Only 64,213 steps since last week. That's just under 9K steps a day. Not great but not terrible either. I'm not sure what happened last week that I didn't walk as much but I didn't. Since last week I only hit my 10K goal on Wednesday, Saturday, Monday and Tuesday. Four out of seven days isn't too bad.

Frame of Mind:
I'm adding this because my mental health after last night's disastrous election results is definitely in question. Walking makes me feel better. Listening to and singing along to music while walking clears my mind. I took a huge and drastic step last night and disabled my Facebook account and now need to work on reading much less news. I have a book on my desk and I'm charging my Kindle so I can add Girl On A Train. The democrats will be disappointed, the republicans will be cocky and I just can't absorb the emotions of others any more. I can't read any more hateful memes. I can't allow Facebook to distract me any more. It cannot have any more of my attention or time. I need to focus on my children, my husband, on happiness and on the people I actually care about in my life. I'm not a religious person but I may need to harness my spirituality to give me faith that we will get through this terrible time in our nation. I am devastated to learn that the majority of Americans really must believe in hate. It's the only explanation.

11.08.2016

I'm With Her


Yesterday, my son came home from school to tell me that we were getting a new president. I told him that was true and that a man named Donald Trump was running against a woman named Hillary Clinton. Because he doesn't know any better and we don't talk politics in front of him, he told me he hoped Donald Trump won. I told him no he did not because he was a bad man that said mean things and wasn't nice to women. Then I dropped it because he's six and I don't need to go off on a first grader. This election has taken such an emotional toll on me and I didn't want to take it out on him.

I've seen my extended family and Husband's family support Trump over the past few months and it's been heartbreaking. I've seen HRC be scrutinized in the most skewed and unfair ways humanly imaginable. I've seen a terrible man make hatred seem commonplace. The words "grab her by the pussy" were in the news because of him. The news! He has mocked the disabled, threatened to punish women who choose abortions, and has spread vitriol full of antisemitism, anti-immigration, anti-Muslim, misogyny, ignorance... with no actual political experience. I am so anxious for all of this to be behind us. 

This morning, election day, I was dropping Christa off at Mamamia's house only she wasn't there. She was voting. I watched her return from the polls with her "I voted" sticker and my heart swelled with pride and hope and optimism. I tried very hard not to cry tears of happiness.  I am so confident that all the women, immigrants and minorities will come out in droves to prove that love trumps hate. I looked at my daughter and said "I hope she voted for the very first woman president." Like just take a moment and let that soak in. The very first one. My children were born under a black president and now this. What a time to be alive.

11.07.2016

Scant Weekend Pics

 Friday was flu shots for me and the kids. No tears! 
 The face I have to deal with every time I sit down.
 Weekend turkeys: Mine, Christa's, Casey's, Husband's.
 Took the kids to see Trolls and then got them the Trolls Happy Meals. Good times.
 No one I know loves dogs like Christa does.
Look at that? Pure bliss.

11.04.2016

I'm With Her Haiku Friday

I worry so much
It is hereditary
I blame it on Gran
***
Nerves keep me moving
Like a hummingbird or shark
It's quite exhausting
***
This election mess
Is literally making
Me sick and stressed. Vote.

11.02.2016

Weigh In Wednesday

Weight: 222
No gaining so that's good. No loss either but whatever. I have seen the numbers fluctuate a pound or two each time I weigh myself so I don't know how consistent things are in the mechanics of my Target scale. I have noticed my stomach doesn't seem as distended and my pants are fitting looser. My legs feel firmer.

Lifetime Steps: 536,455
75,455 steps since last Wednesday so that averages out to about 10,779 steps a day. That's actually pretty awesome. I read someplace that the fitbit doesn't really help folks lose weight but it definitely inspires me to move more and frankly I think that's what is most important. Since last Wednesday, I only didn't hit my goal of 10K steps Sunday and yesterday but I was VERY close both times.

Overall I think I'm still doing pretty good about the eating thing. I successfully brought salads four times last week and I am on track to repeat that this week. I got some new earbuds so my music listening experience is better on my lunch walks. I'm working on cutting back on the weeknight drinking still. Not so great at that. I did have wine last night instead of beer and I noticed I didn't feel as bloated and got a better night's sleep. Maybe I'll switch to wine. Ha! Halloween candy everywhere for the last month has been quite intimidating but so far I've been good about sticking to one or two small pieces when I do submit. Next Saturday is the 6-month mark until I turn 40 so I'm going to have to really get serious if I want to get down to 190 by then.

11.01.2016

Nightmare at the Bowl

 Husband was not in the best of moods because he found out he didn't get that job.
Husband had never seen this movie before. I'm so glad this is how he got to see it.
 Having the first of many big beers to lighten the mood.
 The orchestra. How neat is that lighting?
 The man, the myth, the legend: Danny Elfman
 Paul Reubens, Catherine O'Hara and Danny Elfman 
a.k.a. Shock, Lock and Barrel

For the finale, Danny Elfman came out with another member of Oingo Boingo and sang It's a Dead Man's Party. As an 80s kid, hearing this live melted me. I screamed like a little fan girl. Backed by an orchestra? Are you actually kidding me right now? It was so amazing. And Pee Wee Herman? Put a fork in me. I'm done.