A young woman asked me for help to kind of turn her life around. I wrote this and wonder if it will help.
1. First things first, you need to accept responsibility for all your actions. No one is to blame for your life. No one owes you anything. You are an adult and should be accountable as such.
2. Cut out the people that make you feel bad or do bad things out of your life even if it is the hardest thing on earth to do. I've told you on FB to stop associating with people in jail. My own brother was in jail and I went a year without talking to him because he was being STUPID. It is better to be alone than in bad company. Life is too short to be with someone that is not bringing out the absolute best in you. This is not strictly relationship goals with a love partner but with friends, too.
3. Make a goal or a plan and stick with it so you can feel the power of achievement and persistence and tenacity. If XXX is what you are passionate about, devote yourself to it. Practice, study, be focused. Nothing helps take up your time like school does. If you do it right, none of those bad folks will have access to you because you won't have time for them to creep back in. You can be and should be and will be the best.
4. If you have wronged people in your past like you say you have, make amends. Don't be a coward. Apologize. Tell them you were wrong. Be humble. Ask for help. XXX and I had beef for a long time but we fixed it. Relationships are only broken if you leave them that way. Don't be petty and hold grudges. Making things right sucks. It's hard. You feel like shit. But too bad. You probably made those people feel like shit too so that's karma.
5. Think of someone you admire most in your life and picture them beside you in your life even if they are not physically there. If they were with you, would you do the thing you are not sure you should be doing? That was the best advice my dad ever gave me. Never do something I would be ashamed of doing in front of him.
6. Get a job. When I was your age I worked, went to school and then babysat in my free time. Sometimes I had a full time job and part time job and babysitting jobs just to make ends meet. Nothing in life is free or easy. Work ethic is the best thing you can have. I dropped out of school and it was the biggest regret ever so I got my bachelor's degree when I was six months pregnant with my son and a frickin' 32-yr old newlywed. Had I stuck with it, it would have been way easier but I just didn't quit. There are no excuses. 7. Exercise. Think about what you eat and drink. Treat your body like the temple it is. It will aid in taking up the dangerous free time. It will aid in mental clarity. It will release endorphins to alleviate anxiety and depression. For me, I walk for 45 minutes on my lunch hour and I bump Britney and sing aloud and I don't give a fuck who hears. It's my time.
8. Stay single. Focus on fixing yourself. You don't attract good people when you are in a bad place. I spent decades dating terrible dudes because I didn't believe in myself. Once I shifted the focus to me, I got Husband. You mentioned on Instagram once I think that we were goals. You can have that too but not with some hood rat gang banger with a prison record. Come on. You're smarter than that.
9. Be patient. You are VERY young. You have a LONG life ahead of you. Rome wasn't built in a day. Nothing comes easy. All things take time and effort.
10. Know that you are not alone. Facebook is ridiculous. It's a time waster but it has nothing to do with family or friends. Nothing there is real. Your family is real. I know your family and they are a good family. They love you but you need to earn it.
Listen, no one is perfect. I drink too much beer. I spend too much money. I cuss too much. I'm overweight. I can do better. But? I try. I make effort to keep in touch with my friends. I apologize a lot. I love a lot. I wear a fitbit and try to walk enough and I make salads for lunch to counter the pizza I eat. Life is about balance. I have a happy life but I work hard for it. There is no rest. It's a constant struggle to have this life. Sometimes I fuck up bad with my husband but we work hard to work it out. I hope this helps. I am not here to babysit you or coddle you but I will be real with you. Love you, girl. Keep your head up.
Didn't have much in the way of weekend pics but we did go to see a replica of the San Salvador in the Channel Islands harbor. We didn't go on because it wasn't worth $40 to me but that's another story for another day. What was way more fun than that big cool boat was seeing these big ol' sea lions snuggling and barking at each other. Lazy fatties.
As we approached the arena, a song that played on loop when my dad was dying and I was commuting constantly back and forth to the hospital came on the loud speaker. It was then I knew I was in for an emotional roller coaster with my dad right by my side.
I can't describe the energy as we got ready to go in. Electric would cover it, I suppose. We got there plenty early. It took us about four hours to get to Anaheim so we were not going to chance traffic making us one second late. We checked in to the hotel and had a few beers and cabbed it to the Honda Center.
We ate a mediocre dinner there and got to go in way before the show. We got memorabilia and beers and found our seats and I nearly shat myself when I saw how close we were. The opening acts were not memorable but I imagine they were good.
Yup. That's the stage. Section 106. On the floor. Row 23. Seats 7 and 8.
Here Husband is honing the ghost of Doug by taking a photograph with a toothpick in his mouth like a good ol' boy country hick. Gotta love it.
Garth opened with Man Against The Machine from his most recent album. That was the one and only "new" song. Thank goodness. That album didn't do it for me but the rest of his catalog rages strong in my heart and blood and soul. Did I mention I love him? And this whole show is a bucket list thing? Yeah. I may have to give that album another listen. Just in case.
This was during The River where everyone put their phones up. It was actually very beautiful. For the duration of the show, all three hours of it, start to finish, EVERYONE was on their feet and singing. It was like Church or something. Truly moving.
Here, the amazing Miss Trisha Yearwood (a.k.a. Mrs. Garth Brooks) came out to sing In Another's Eyes. Then she sang a couple songs while he took a well deserved break. She's great but I was only there for Garth. Period.
And here is the end of the show. The Dance had me shaking sobbing. The rest of the time I was smiling and singing and dancing and acting a fool and gently weeping. My eyes were raw on Saturday. I did not want to leave the Honda Center. I did not want this show to end. The show and Garth far exceeded my every expectation and those expectations were sky high. There was not a song I wished he'd sang but I literally would have sat there for as long as it would take if he chose to sing every song from every album. He is an incomparable performer with a voice like gold and I'm blessed I got to be a part of this. He hadn't been to California in TWENTY years! I don't have a grave where I can visit my dad, but I have moments like this where I can feel his spirit and it's almost religious. On the way home on Saturday and again on Sunday, The Dance came on the radio even though Garth is hardly ever even on the radio and I know my dad was with me.
Seems to be par for the course now that I mainly see cartoons in the theater. Husband and I watch enough TV that the last thing I want to do on a date is look at another screen. Since we were all off for the holiday, we decided to take the kids to see Kubo and the Two Strings. I had seen the previews and it looked kind of crazy but we decided to chance it. Plus, Matthew McConaughey does a voice and he is Husband's spirit animal so I knew he'd be happy with at least that much.
This is a beautiful movie with a fantastic story full of humor and emotion. The stop-motion animation was wonderfully done. This is a story of a young boy named Kubo. His mother escapes with him as a baby after his grandfather and aunts kill his father and try to steal Kubo's eyes. Kubo and his mother possess magical powers that allow their minds to bring origami to life. After Kubo's mother is killed, her spirit inhabits a wooden monkey and brings it to life to tend to Kubo as he searches for a magical sword and suit of armor to defeat his ghostly grandfather. Along the way, they meet a cursed man in the form of a beetle who aids them on their quest. It all sounds like too much to understand and is heavy with Japanese mythology but I can tell you it flows effortlessly.
Christa and Casey were engaged for the span of the film. I absolutely adored it and encourage anyone to see it. At times, there are some pretty scary moments like the aunts and the garden of eyes under the sea. The kids didn't seem to mind that at all. They cheered and worried for Kubo and at the end wanted more. I laughed and cried and sat in awe of it all. It is truly one of the better movies I have ever seen.