Date Night

For Christmas, my brother got me a gift certificate to see a movie at Cinéopolis in Westlake Village. For those of you like me who are not in the know, this is a very fancy movie theater that offers an "21 and over" option. They have reclining leather lounge chairs and waiters who will serve you dinner or drinks or snacks, whatever your wee heart desires. Husband and I made reservations (yes, reservations!) to see a Saturday night showing of The Revenant. Let me just say before I go any further, this was the most expensive movie I have ever seen. The tickets alone were $45; we had to pay the sitter about $60 to drive out of town to see the longest movie ever; and if you have table service, you know you better #treatyoself! I ordered delicious New England lobster rolls, gourmet zebra popcorn, Husband had a fancy ass cheeseburger and we both had a couple of beers between us. It was an awesome experience that has likely ruined regular movie going for me forever but CA-CHING $$$!!!
Now let's take a minute and talk about the movie. I've heard many people rave about this one and Lord knows Leo's due for an Oscar considering his impeccable body of work to date so it was worth watching before the awards were given out. Plus, it's not often I let Husband pick a film and this was one he wanted to see so I sucked it up despite it's two and a half hour running time. It's no secret around these parts that I really get into a movie and boy was I jumping in Husband's lap for most of this. There are trappers fighting with Native Americans over pelts, French settlers raping, animals attacking and rivers roaring... just mayhem! I was ducking arrows and dodging bullets! Aside from the violence factor, there is plenty of blood, guts and gore galore to be had here. My goodness. I don't know how much I can give away here without spoiling the movie but we all know a bear mauls Leo to near death and we all know that the aftermath of that sort of activity cannot be pretty.
I left this movie UPSET, you guys. Upset. As far as Leo goes, if he doesn't get an Oscar for this, he just needs to hang up his acting career out of spite. Filming in an arctic tundra and icy waters for who knows how long while crawling on your belly and hardly speaking could not have been easy. Tom Hardy is a fantastic bad guy... he made me so mad. It also made me so mad to see what the white folks have done to the Native Americans. It's one thing to read about it but to see that shit made me sick to my stomach. I did not like it. I also did not like how this movie invoked what seemed to me as some gratuitous Native spirituality. Easy does it on the folklore chants and rain sticks, guys. We got it.
That being said, what a beautiful movie. What incredible acting. WHAT A STORY! I mean, this really happened! An actual man was mauled by a bear, left for dead and crossed icy terrain for SO long just to get vengeance! When you think of how this was done, in that time period? I mean WOW. Hugh Glass was one tough son of a bitch. I recommend this movie but just go in knowing you're going to see some shit. As my friend Maine said, "It's not the kind of movie you want to eat a lasagna while watching." Indeed. I left with a stomach ache.
 That's right. Lounging.
Me and the Mister. LOVE

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