Crazy Cat Lady

About a month ago I shared a little bit about my family tree with you and mentioned my dad's cousin, the crazy cat lady. In case you want to see the disturbing news report about her, I will link it here. It's not really for the faint of heart. When my aunt told me about that, she also mentioned that there was a nasty missive the crazy cat lady had written about how she was wronged when all her cats were taken from her. I'd forgotten about it until yesterday when it arrived in my mailbox, all 26 neatly typed pages of it. Because I can't copy and paste it in all of its manic glory, I will pull a couple of the choice pieces and share them with you here.

"my story that I wrote because of the penultimate devastation that has been brought to my door."

"I lived in California for 16 years... in a mobile home park! And I had 65 cats during those years."

"I do not know who in the hell you think you are to ensconce yourself in such unfathomable emotions"

"A phalanx of pure cruelty and unimaginable travesty after travesty"

"Why was not a cleaning crew offered to help me? Why did they bring a demolition squad? A barrage of monsters dressed like storm troopers invading my home and taking my beloved babies away from me. All of it happening in a maelstrom of iniquity."

"All that happened was a blinding, cyclonic rage that  I could not stop. There were too many demons to battle. I had fought one at a time... not a legion!"

"I never smoked. I never drank alcoholic beverages. I never did drugs. I never had any boyfriends. I never had any men friends. Presently, at 63 years of age, I have never had sex, nor have I ever been kissed!"

It goes on and on and on after this about how demons and monsters and her cat babies and how the Lord has never provided for her despite her prayers. Yeah. It's really something. This is my second cousin. (shudders)