I had no idea that he would go to the lengths he did but on my birthday I was told that on Sunday, May 24, I would report to the very luxurious Ojai Valley Inn & Spa for a full day of pampering. I had no idea this facility was as giant as it was and tried to check in at the hotel instead of the spa, which was at least a minute's drive away with an additional minute's walk. I was running late and basically got lost in the parking lot and then again while walking to the spa. To top off my rapidly mounting anxiety, I stopped to pet a giant poodle named Barnaby who bit my pinky finger and I felt like no less than a hillbilly imposter in this amazingly bourgeoisie atmosphere. It was at this time I decided to pop a Xanax and chill out.
I was shown a locker, had some amenities explained to me and was handed a robe as I was being shuttled off to the first of my five appointments. My itinerary looked like this:
9 a.m. - Deep Tissue Classic Massage
10 a.m. - Seasonal Manicure
11 a.m. - Seasonal Pedicure
(I mean, it was Memorial Day weekend... 'Merica!)After this, I had a break for lunch which was included in the astronomical price. I decided on the teriyaki salmon bento served with brown rice, steamed vegetables, cucumber salad and fruit. I also got a delicious serving of edamame as an appetizer. In true spa fashion, I ordered the pistachio mint smoothie made with banana, almond milk and agave. Can you even? I cannot. After I ate this lovely lunch alone, poolside, on a perfectly warm and sunny day, I went inside and napped until my next appointment which was:
2 p.m. - Orange Blossoms & Honey Wrap Body Treatment. I'll spend a moment on this because a) I didn't know what it was and b) it was amazing. It started out with a lovely young lady brushing my body with a bristled brush reminiscent of what would be used to groom a horse that removed who knows what from my person. After that I was slathered in oil and tucked into a cocoon of hot towels. While I was "baking" she applied hot oil to my scalp and massaged my head for no less than fifteen minutes. She insisted on some aroma therapy where I inhaled a bouquet of citrus. All the while, she alternated warm and cold compresses on my eyes. After I was done baking, I rinsed the oil from my body with water but no soap. I but was told to leave the oil on my hair until the next morning and I will say it has worked wonders on my 'do. I crawled back on the bed and a jojoba butter was applied liberally on my body and more massaging happened. AMAZING
3 p.m. - Deep Cleansing Facial. This was also a first for me. There was steam, a mask, pimple popping, another mask and more neck rubbing and moisturizing. I spent all day being massaged in some way or another and it was glorious. How glorious was it? Look at my face as I was about to dress to go home.
I don't want to seem bitter because I am not. I love my family and I love my life. But DAMN! I love being alone. I pine for it. When I got home to my excited children, I thought to myself how much better I could be for them if I was simply more rested. If I allowed myself the time to reset. To recharge. I am not doing myself any favors if I don't ever feel relieved. I don't foresee a spa day becoming a regular feature in my life unless I get a crazy raise but I highly recommend this experience to all you hardworking mamas out there. You owe it to yourself and to your family to "Treat Yo'Self."