I've never claimed to be the nicest person in the world. I know that sometimes I come across too bluntly and I could probably enforce the use of a personal filter more often than I do. However, I generally try to remain respectful. Yesterday, I had a coworker who is prone to being excitable ask me if I always have to be such a "beeotch." This was in response to me jokingly telling him "Take a chill pill, R is working on it." At the time I just brushed off what was clearly an inappropriate outburst and an exaggerated response. However the more I thought about it, the more I realized it was not so much that the word "bitch" bothered me, it was that he resorted to name calling. And while my office is so casual it oftentimes borders on unprofessional, there have to be certain standards we uphold for ourselves.
This made me think about The Four Agreements.
1. Be Impeccable with your Word: Speak with integrity. Say
only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip
about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.
2. Don’t Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of
their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and
actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.
3. Don’t Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want.
Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings,
sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform
4. Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when
you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your
best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.
I truly need to work on this. Over the weekend, I let my emotions get the best of me. I caused a scene and I took my anger, irritation and frustration out on Casey and Husband. While they may have long since forgiven me, it's taking me much longer to forgive myself. I am better than my behavior suggested. I am guilty of going against everything listed above. It took someone else breaking those agreements, to make me see how much I have to do on myself. My actions, my example, will impact the people my children will become. This is much bigger than ME now.