The One About Poop

So after a week of both kids having an alarming amount of diarrhea, I decided it was time to take them to the doctor yesterday. Both of them had been eating and drinking and sleeping. Neither of them seemed dehydrated nor did they have fevers. Just so much poop. And Casey booted one time but Casey always boots so I just don't even consider that any more. So we headed to a doctor's office in Ventura where I'd never been and trying to find it made me a stress case because the girl would not stop whining and the boy had too many questions. We finally get there and Christa is in all the things and Casey is dropping a metal lunch box full of hard toys over and over. And eventually Casey is pushing Christa over and making her cry and I'm the mom with kids causing a scene. And the phone is ringing in my purse. And there are co-pays to be paid and new patient paperwork to be filled out and I'm a hot mess.
Also a hot mess? The mom in the waiting room with kids the same age as my kids and a baby that pooped which made her realize she didn't have diapers or wipies and was also kind of freaking out. So I gave her my diapers and wipies and I felt like this is how motherhood should be. It takes a village and what not.
So the Fridays finally get into the exam room and Casey's doing stunts and Christa is pissed to be naked in a room with the a/c blowing and I realize I have to pee more than I have ever had to pee before in my life. So I schlep the kids into the big bathroom with me and while I pee I have to wrangle the children and keep them from touching anything. Mission accomplished and we're back in the exam room and I ask Casey to shut the door behind us and he slams it so hard that the walls rattle. Fantastic.
Casey does great with the exam until he decides he is going to dismount off the table like a damn gymnast and falls flat on his back. Awesome. Christa sees the nurse PUT ON A GLOVE nowhere near her and freaks the heck out and starts crying real tears. Unbelievable. Good news? The kids are fine and seem to be totally on their way out of this which is kind of what I figured but better safe than sorry and all that. Apparently up to fourteen days of diarrhea is totally normal in children even though that to me sounds like an absolute nightmare. Despite the shit show in the doctor's office, the nurse confirms I am doing everything right and I take that validation and wear it like a medal as we hold our heads high while exiting the building. 
On the way home I'm talking to Casey and we're having a conversation while Christa sleeps and then I ask what he'd like for dinner. No answer. So I look over my shoulder and this is happening:

The child slept all the way home. I carried him in the house sleeping. He slept on the couch for almost two hours despite me trying to yell and shake him awake. Amazing. Both kids get doses of aspirin during bath before bedtime. Christa wakes up this morning and makes a solid poop. Casey's back at school and seems to be staying there despite being sent home twice last week for having poop accidents. I think things are looking up.


Destiny said...

Funny. I guess things just had to 'run' their course! What an ordeal.

Coodence said...

christ. reading this stressed me out.