I had a pretty hilarious exchange with my OBGYN during my pre-op appointment the other day where he questioned why I was getting my tubes tied if my husband was already "fixed." I told him about my paranoia and asked if he thought I was crazy. He humored me and said he didn't but told me that usually women get fixed after their husbands have vasectomies because "they want to fuck around." Boy did I laugh. I told him no, that Husband just can't stop getting me pregnant and we can't keep our hands off each other. He seemed amused by that too. Tomorrow's the big day. I go in at 10 and should be home by 1 with a prescription for Norco, sterile and sporting an incision scar.
I think Casey is going through a major growth spurt because he can't stop eating all the things. His belly was all swollen the other day after a major pig out at my mom's house and he told me that he "had two baby sisters in his tummy." Um, I don't think so, crazy.
While I was on maternity leave a friend of mine told me I should run for Mayor of Oxnard. I have joked about that in the past so it made me laugh and I asked Facebook if I had their vote and actually got a surprisingly strong response for what I thought was a bit of a joke. Since then I have actually started considering City Council. My co-worker gave me a printout this morning that says "What does a Mayor do?" so I have it hanging on my desk as a wee motivational tool.
Also? Facebook? Makes me super mad. Why can't I quit it? Can people see every single thing I comment on and like? Is that really happening? Why do I feel like I need to defend myself when someone talks about how prescription medication makes people shoot up schools? Why do I care if someone is making a blanket statement about being pro-life? Why why why? Yeah I don't get it. It's like crack.
On another kind of silly note, I am super sad that Mad Men is on its way out. Don Draper is so gross but so goddamn handsome. Did you see the nipple episode? It kind of haunts me still. That is a helluva show. I love it and loathe it. Good stuff.
This three-day weekend threw me for a loop and I totally didn't realize Christa Tuesday went by! Whoopsie! Last night, her awesome sleep streak ended. Instead of sleeping from 7:15 to 5:30 like she did on Monday night, she went down at 7:30 and woke up at 9, midnight, 4 and 6. No bueno. Oh well. She is a baby after all. She also still has a bit of a full snot locker so that's not so much fun.
She is making lots more noises now. She has her little cough laugh going on and does a lot of cooing, especially for her brother. Every now and then she lets out an enthusiastic little shout. It's pretty awesome. She seems to be overcoming her hatred of the car seat so there is a lot less crying in the car now which I appreciate.
I'm still not pumping at work so by the end of the day my boobs are like softballs. The whole nursing in the morning and at night thing still seems to be working for us though so I suppose I'll continue for longer than the three months I nursed Casey. There is a noticeable deficit on the weekends but she's taking the bottle of formula like a champ now. Yesterday afternoon Husband had picked her up from Maria's early and had given her a bottle before I returned home from work. Despite having just chugged 4 ounces of formula, she wasn't happy until she had the boobies. It's a nice bonding time for us and she's getting all handsy now and playing with my shirt and tickling my side so it makes me laugh. I'm a sucker for breastfeeding this time around I guess.
Friday night was date night at Suzanne's Cuisine in Ojai for our 5-year anniversary celebration. Here's what I had: Eggplant Tart to start with two Flirtinis (Vodka, Peach Schnapps and cranberry juice garnished with a cherry). Moved on to the Miso Marinated Butterfish with a Citrus Ponzu Dipping Sauce and Tobiko Caviar accompanied by a glass of Viognier for my meal. Finished off with a Chocolate Peanut Butter Torte and two cups of the best coffee I've ever had. Husband went with shrimp pot stickers and I think an old fashioned to start. Then he had a fantastically prepared Peppered Black Angus Filet Mignon Of Beef With Demi-Glace Sauce and a Stella Artois for his main course. For dessert he had the Warm Chocolate Tart With White Coffee Sauce with coffee as well. Nothing was not delicious. I was more relaxed after this date night than I was after a massage. Amazing.
On Saturday we had the pleasure of hosting a Memorial Day BBQ in our yard. We decorated our "deck" like there was no tomorrow and Casey was ecstatic about our America party for Morial day. The Penderbhallas and the Amezquitas attended and the food and drink flowed. Five children and seven adults. A fantastic time was had by all.
On Sunday we joined my brother and his family at the beach. They were camping at the Rincon just north of Ventura which is just a beautiful place to be, dolphins frolicking in the sea for everyone to enjoy. Christa rocked her dollar sunglasses from Target like a rock star and Casey came home with a story of being tumbled by the waves and a wee tramp stamp sunburn.
Monday was a stay at home day for the most part. After a quick trip to "The Dog Store" (a.k.a. Target), we played in the backyard kiddie pool with water guns. We got the Lego Movie on demand and had pizza. Very, very chill. I love weekends like this.
Yesterday I was sort of startled by the realization that had I not terminated my first pregnancy, I would have a kid old enough to be graduating from high school right now. I'd be doing things like prom and buying class rings. Instead, I have a brand new baby and a three-year old getting ready to go into Pre-K in the fall. It's interesting to think of where life could have taken me had I chosen a path other than the one I did.
I have also come to the realization that I have a very real fear of pregnancy. I googled it, actually, and there is a real term for it: tokophobia. I don't know that I'm phobic, necessarily, but I definitely worry about it way more than I should. You see, when Husband and I got married, we had other friends who were either trying to get pregnant or already were. They said it took them a year of trying but it only took Husband and I a couple months and I got pregnant with Casey. After Casey I had two miscarriages but both times I got pregnant rather quickly.
Then, there is the story of Christa. After my second miscarriage I decided I couldn't take it any more and decided I didn't ever want to have another baby. I had my D&C and a period followed a month later. I called to schedule my tubal ligation calculating when best to schedule it based on my next period. Well, that period never came and still hasn't come. Christa was conceived in one "try" and here we are. She's my little blessing and I know she is here for a reason but there is no doubt she was definitely unplanned. They call babies born after a miscarriage a rainbow baby because of the beauty that can come after a storm and boy does that describe her perfectly.
While I was pregnant with Christa, Husband got a vasectomy and was tested and confirmed that there was nothing there any more. This should be enough right? But we were intimate after the baby was born and due to lots of stress and hormones and emotions, I got terrified and convinced myself I had somehow gotten pregnant. I even took a pregnancy test because it was gnawing at me that badly despite my OBGYN telling me the chances of me getting pregnant so shortly after childbirth and Husband being fixed and my nursing exclusively were slim to none. I might be insane.
So basically all of this is just being written because on Tuesday I have my pre-op consultation for a tubal ligation next Friday morning. Five pregnancies in 18 years is more than enough for me. I can't imagine having my hands more full than they are now. And frankly? I just don't trust that the vasectomy is "enough." I'm covering all my bases. Because I'm terrified.
My second week back to work and I'm still missing this little nugget like crazy. She's doing very well for Maria so I couldn't be more pleased. My boobs are acclimating much better now than they were last week from not nursing her. They no longer turn into rock hard softballs. We've just been nursing in the mornings and evenings and I've basically abandoned pumping. Seems to be working out.
She's got another little cold right now but she handles that little snot sucker like a champ. Usually she smiles and makes a little coughing sound when I clear her nostrils. She also loves having her diaper changed, not sure I've ever noted that here before. She kicks her legs like crazy and smiles and coos. It's pretty fun stuff. She still hates the bottle but she's doing better about taking it.
Worth noting this week, though, is that for the past two days she has gone down at 8 and has woken up at 5:30 with nothing in between. Heaven!!! I swear I hope this lasts. Casey was more prone to waking up at all hours and then staying up. Luckily, when she nurses in the middle of the night, she falls right back to sleep for the most part. I can handle crying and fussiness but lack of sleep is the absolute worst.
Friday night kicked off a fun-filled weekend when we went to meet my friend John's little son Nolan for the first time. We went to our friend Sarah's house and there were 7 boys between the ages of 7 months and five years. Casey got to meet my favorite teacher ever who just so happens to be John's mom. Nary a photo was taken. I am sort of sad about that but on with the show:
This is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Oh, Grandpas. Is there anything sweeter? Casey has 100% staked claim to BFF's dad and it is so heartwarming.
Speaking of Casey, he looks like he got caught with his hand in the cookie jar here. Plus? Underwear. Saturdays outside can't be beat.
Did I forget to mention that Casey & Sasha are best friends? Because they are. So there.
Here's my friend Beanie and her doppelganger daughter Raqi on my backyard swing.
Casey may or may not have been trying to seduce her on a very Pre-K level.
We got to meet Celio and they got to meet Christa and all was well in the world with our families of four. Four. Yeah. Two kids each now. The hell?
Miss Christa was not exactly thrilled with the day. We had gone for her JC Penney portraits and she just wasn't really having it. We all have wee colds so none of us were at our finest by the time Sunday evening rolled around. She did make it up to me by sleeping ten hours straight though. Good girl.
Ever since I was a little girl, my dad has gotten my family tickets to go to a Dodger game on or near my birthday. This tradition has been going on as far back as I remember and the last game I went to in 2013 was my birthday game. My dad passed away in November and I was asked to take his place and do the Dodger pool for the distribution of the season tickets our work has. As a thank you, I could have tickets to my birthday game on the house. It was a very generous offer both in honor of my dad and monetarily.
The draft itself was a very strange experience. The wife of another regular was taking the place of her husband who had passed away and I was taking the place of my dad so it was already kind of sad and awkward. It happened at 9pm on a night shortly after Christa was born so I was exhausted both physically and emotionally. My first pick was the May 12th game and I said I was choosing that because I knew my dad would want me to keep that tradition alive. The people in the pool were very supportive when I got choked up. If picking a ticket was that hard, how hard was it going to be to actually show up at Chavez Ravine without him?
I had gone to work all day and hadn't stayed up that long without a nap in a long time. I was already so tired on the way to the game and knowing I would be up until midnight wasn't making things any easier. I started feeling kind of sick to my stomach as soon as we parked the car in the parking lot but I powered through. We were in line for hot dogs when the National Anthem was sung and I cried hard. I always tear up but I cried good this time. It was so strange being there without my dad. Thankfully, my brother, mom and husband were all there with me to take the edge off.
My mom and I had a bag of peanuts in Dad's memory. At one point, there was a game where an audience member was competing against player Dee Gordon to name as many men's names that began with the letter "D" as he could in 30 seconds. He named a whole bunch and then paused, kind of stumped so my mom said "Douglas" and I swear not a second later that audience member said "Douglas" too. Whose name is Douglas anymore? It's little things like that happening that makes me feel comforted that he's still with us.
The Dodgers won. My family got along. And as a bonus I got to get my picture taken with Roger Owens, Peanut Man. He's been a walking vendor for fifty years and I've seen him at games my whole life. I asked him outside the women's restroom if he would take a picture with me since it was my birthday and he said as long as I was quick. Ha! Of course I was fumbling with my stupid phone so it's blurry but it's still pretty rad. He said I didn't do anything on his birthday which was Valentine's Day and also the day he got married. Fun little tidbit. Go Dodgers!
As was predicted on babycenter, Miss Christa has found her hands. She wore this gauzy number on Mother's Day and kept holding the wee tutu in her fingers. It was too sweet. I threw that bow on her for shits and giggles but it's too silly. I just can't.
The big news this week was my returning to work yesterday. Save for going home on my lunch break, I was away from her from 7:30 until 3:15. She spent the day at home with her dad, I got home and nursed her like crazy. Then I took her to Maria's at 4:30 and didn't see her until 11:30 because we did the Dodger game for my birthday. I was away from her all day. Boy did my boobies pay for it. Ouch. But other than that, I just totally missed her sweet face and my heart hurt and I may have cried a couple times in the morning about it. I miss her now as I type this. I don't remember it being this hard going back to work after Casey.
I didn't sleep AT ALL last night so now I really remember what it means to be a working mom. She woke up at 4 a.m. today to nurse. We were about asleep and her brother came in and wanted to sleep with us because he had boogers in his eyes. It's just nuts. I also don't know how to really swing breastfeeding before week. It's kind of time consuming and I have to get us all out the door in a timely manner so this is a struggle. Also a struggle? Pumping at work. Yeah. Not a fan.
Friday was my last day of maternity leave so I snuggled up to my girl and we had ourselves a selfie.
And since we were going out with a bang, mom and I got our buzzes on with lunchtime margaritas.
On Saturday, we went to the Reagan library. Here is Casey on a faux-horse making an "Ethan" smile.
We went for the baseball exhibit and saw ourselves a lot of history. Here's an original model of Dodgers Stadium. So rad. My dad would have loved this.
Sunday was Mother's Day. We started the morning off with a walk and a coffee. I was showered with gifts and cards for both Mother's Day and my birthday. We had a lovely family dinner. It was a real nice day.
This is what I got from Chase this morning. Because it's my birthday. 37 and back to work. Blech. Dodger game tonight, though. I hope I can stay awake.
If there is one thing I didn't do enough of on maternity leave, it would be binge-watching series I haven't seen before. At the last possible moment, I read an article about Orange is the New Black in Entertainment Weekly and decided I should give it a try since there has been so many good things said about it. I started watching it on Tuesday the 29th and finished it on the 3rd. 13 hours of television in 5 days. That says it all, doesn't it?
This show is unlike any show I have ever seen before. The writing is brilliant and can be gut-wrenching or utterly hilarious. The actresses are all extraordinary and totally fall outside of the look we are used to seeing on basic cable. The story telling and character development are so compelling. The only thing I didn't like about it was that there was only one season! I have to wait until June 6 for the second season to begin! Thankfully, the other day, these 5 minute schnippets showed up on my Netflix menu called "Orange is the New Black: Behind the Bars" and I got to have a little bit of a fix watching the actors who play the main characters talk about why they love the show.
In case you haven't heard, this series is based on book about a real life occurrence. This lady had gotten involved with another lady who was in the drug trade. She had smuggled some money years earlier and was later indicted for her crime and sentenced to prison time after she had long since moved on with her life. The author and the character in both is named Piper. Oh, Piper. I don't know anything about the book but on this show she is a hot mess. My brother, who I also got hooked on the show, said if I was in prison, I'd be Piper. I don't want to say too much about this other than if you're not watching it, you should be. It's what all shows should be.
This picture here pretty much represents Christa's life at home. Her brother is always near her. She is always on this play mat. It's an easy life and she is an easy baby. This morning we went to visit her great-grandma and ran some errands. We'll likely take a nap this afternoon. I'm trying to really appreciate the fact that I will only be home with her like this for 6 more days. It seems inconceivable. How did 12 weeks fly by so quickly? On Friday morning, Christa spent a couple hours with Maria so her dad and I could get our eyes checked. I had a lot of angst about it because Christa hasn't exactly been easy when it comes to taking a bottle. When we came back to get her, Christa and my niece Alicia were on the floor watching cartoons together. Maria said she never fussed a bit except for when she was hungry and then took the bottle like a champ. Of course. Maria watched her again for a bit yesterday so I could go to the doctor and she slept the whole time. I'm confident my return to work on Monday will be seamless thanks to Maria.
She's been a champ at sleeping and most nights she goes 6 hours or more without waking. It seems like it's always at 3:30 which is okay because I fall asleep pretty easily and then we're up for the day about three hours later. She's been sitting nicely in her swing when I eat my meals and is just overall pretty mellow. She rarely cries but when she does the bottle or being tired are usually the culprits. I'm feeling quite lucky and I hope my streak continues.