1.07.2014

The Dance

It's almost been two months since my dad passed away and sometimes I feel like I'm not grieving enough, whatever "enough" means. I think of him daily but I don't often cry or feel sad about him. Mostly it's little things like Casey calling our car Papa's car, because it was his and we inherited it or going to the zoo this past weekend and thinking of how he'd come with us. Mostly, though, I'd say I'm doing all right despite the very obvious hole he left in our family when he left us too soon.
I find myself listening to a lot of country music lately, mostly Garth Brooks, because it reminds me of my dad for no particular reason. He was mainly a Motown/Oldies kind of guy but once upon a time he had a Garth Brooks album (In Pieces) and I sort of stole it from him and now Garth makes me think of my dad. The one song that sends me over the edge is The Dance. I guess it makes me think of our daddy/daughter dance at my wedding. I know it's about a man whose lover bid him farewell but it's so much more than that to me. There is no greater pain I've ever felt than losing my dad who was also my best friend, my mentor and just an amazing man loved by all who met him. So as painful as it is to not have him here, I would never give up my memories of him simply to avoid the heartache I feel right now not having him around. 

Looking back on the memory of
The dance we shared 'neath the stars above
For a moment all the world was right
How could I have known that you'd ever say goodbye

And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I'd have had to miss the dance

Holding you I held everything
For a moment wasn't I a king
But if I'd only known how the king would fall
Hey who's to say you know I might have changed it all

And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I'd have had to miss the dance

Yes my life is better left to chance
I could have missed the pain but I'd have had to miss the dance

2 comments:

Ang said...

i still think of you and your family often randi....that's a great song in memory of your dad.....

Destiny said...

What a beautiful poem. I don't know the song. Very, very touching and true!