When I found out I was pregnant two weeks ago, I made an appointment for today. Then I did some research and saw that a friend of mine who had also miscarried got to have an early ultrasound with my doctor so I rescheduled the appointment for yesterday instead since that was the day the technician was in the office. Yesterday, based on my last period, I was about 6-weeks along and at that time there is a very good chance you can see the heartbeat on an ultrasound. My doctor confirmed as much and decided to send me for one. He told me beforehand that if we heard a heartbeat the chance of a miscarriage drops to about 3% but it wasn't exactly uncommon to not see anything this early in the game. I love my doctor because he is very straightforward and he even gave me a quick smile this time so that was comforting.
The technician first tried externally but had no luck so I had to do a trans-vaginal instead. She was able to see the gestational sac but not much more. What this means is that I may have ovulated late and maybe I'm not as far along as I'd thought I was. Since my periods are pretty regular, I have to assume this is the case. A little googling on Baby Center comforted me when I saw this was not unusual. Plus, I have a mom mentor I go to about such things and she said she had a very similar experience with two of her three boys. I was sent for a blood test immediately after my appointment so we could confirm levels and all that. Basically a pregnancy test just tells you you're pregnant but the blood will say a little more definitely how far along you are. After five vials of blood and a cup of pee, they should have everything they need and I should have results early tomorrow morning.
Aside from all of this scientific shit, I still have that irrational fear that something terrible will happen again. I keep feeling my boobs to see if they're still sensitive so that I have some kind of symptom to cling to. I peed on another strip last night just to make sure those 2 lines are still showing up. Since I pee constantly, this is no inconvenience for me. I don't have morning sickness although maybe I won't at all since all pregnancies are different. I know I am moody as hell but that could have something to do with me being stone cold sober for the first time in about two years. I'll cling to the fact that there is no blood in my underwear. I'll use that wee gestational sac image as a beacon of hope until I go in again on April 1st for a second ultrasound. And I will try to stop being such a nervous wreck.