This week this link has been circulating and shared by many of my Facebook friends that I read and it gave me some perspective. It relates to me because I am always behind the camera and whenever someone takes a picture of me I scrutinize it to death and usually try to delete its existence. I don't know when I stopped being based in reality, but the reality is I weigh what I weigh and it is no one's fault but my own. I know my son couldn't care less how heavy I am; all he wants to do is play and cuddle. My Husband must think I'm still sexy because our fat sex is pretty super. In the future we will all enjoy looking back at pictures of ALL of us and we won't be looking at how fat mommy is, but how much fun we all had together.
While weight is highly scrutinized in my family, I have learned to mostly ignore the "joking" insults. I know this weight is unhealthy but I'm not going to live every second wondering how many calories I'm consuming and burning. I love food and I love beer. I don't binge eat packs of hot dogs and barrels of candy. Unfortunately, I have a desk job and busy evenings that make exercise a challenge. Until I can figure out how to add more hours to my day and be less exhausted, I suppose things will sort of just stay this way. And frankly? I'm kind of ok with that for now.