Movie Review Monday

 I feel it is my responsibility as a card-carrying Will Ferrell fan club member (hypothetically of course) to see even his most serious movies. Let me forewarn you, Everything Must Go is a depressing movie. There is no Will Ferrell hilarity to be had. Not even a hint of a morsel. He loses his job, his wife kicks him out of the house and he's forced to sell all his belongings. He makes friends with the pregnant lady neighbor across the street and another kid in the neighborhood. At the end, he finds redemption. Sort of, I guess. He's a "recovering" alcoholic that seems to bounce on and off the wagon and is watching his world crumble around him. Not exactly a bucket of laughs. However, I think Will Ferrell as an actor is a fine thing whether it be comedic or dramatic in nature. I just happen to prefer spastic, hilarious Will Ferrell over this fella.

The Lincoln Lawyer was a little better but I don't know by much. I guess I just can't get enough of Matthew McConaughey. Here he plays a defense lawyer who is just a tad on the smarmy side, not at all like the lawyer he portrayed in A Time To Kill aside from the fact that they both might have liked the drink a bit much at times. He is hired by a rich kid who is accused of roughing up a prostitute only there is a bit more of a layer to it. If I say too much I might ruin the twist. Everyone and their mother has a cameo in this movie, I swear. Los Angeles makes an appearance here as a starring player only she's not looking so pretty in this time around. I think the idea of this movie was a little better than its execution but I didn't fall asleep watching it and it was pretty late at night so I think that is a nod to its ability to at least capture one's attention. This weekend, BFF told me that I basically only like comedies, cartoons and superhero movies... she might be on to something, but that won't keep me from trying on the occasional drama. Ya heard?


Goodbye 2013 Haiku Friday

This year was okay
But I hope next year's better
Same feelings yearly
We've had a few woes
But it could be much worse
I remain thankful
Grateful for my friends
And my family who ground me
I know I am blessed


First Day of Winter Haiku Friday

Tonight is the night
When the Santa float goes by
I hope we catch him
Tomorrow? Reindeer
Husband's old roommate has them
How random is that?
Holiday spirit
It's running high today, folks
Sugar and singing! 

Our Christmas Card 2012

Initially Merry Christmas
Create from the Heart: photo Christmas cards from Shutterfly .
View the entire collection of cards.


Scene at a Gas Station

Randi puts money into the Arco dollar receptacle and goes to the tank to pump gas. She is unable to get the gas to come out of the pump. She cradles the pump multiple times and even tries 91 since 89 isn't playing along. Randi goes inside to tell the attendants of her strife.

Randi: Hi. Number 4 isn't working so I was wondering if you could put my money on 6.
Attendant: It works, there's money on number 4.
Randi: Yes but when I push the handle no gas comes out.
Attendant 2: Did you push the gas grade?
Randi: I know how to pump gas. I am not retarded.
Attendant: She didn't mean...
Attendant 2: She'll go out to help you.

Randi then rolls her eyes because she does not need help as the pump is broken. Randi has been pumping gas since the age of 12 and is really quite good at it as she has done it WEEKLY ever since. Attendant accompanies her to the pump. Randi demonstrates how one would normally proceed to pump gas. The numbers go on at the pump.

Attendant: See? It works.
Randi: No, I'm actually not getting any gas out of this. Do you need to physically hold it yourself to see that it's not working or will you just go ahead and put my money on number 6 like I asked you to already?

Attendant scurries away, clearly afraid. Randi successfully pumps gas on number 6 with zero hassle.

Questions for discussion:
  • Why can't number 4 just be broken? Does it make the attendants too sad?
  • Is it very hard for the attendant to just put Randi's money on another pump?
  • Did Randi really need to Bah Humbug all over the attendants?
  • Did the attendants really need to be that asinine at 7:15 this Thursday morning?


Magic Mike

Well, I did it and I dragged Husband down alongside me; we watched the much-hyped Magic Mike. I had assumed this was going to be as bad as it was and had every intention of watching this train-wreck by myself but Husband said he didn't mind watching it with me. Thank goodness Matthew McConaughey kept repeating "All right all right all right" otherwise it would have been a total bust for him. Well I'm sure he enjoyed the random lady boobies too. I mean, duh. It was definitely impressive to see Channing Tatum's dance movies but I preferred his role in 21 Jump Street over this garbage any day.
It's the story of a stripper/furniture entrepreneur/car-detailer/construction worker who recruits his buddy to join him onstage. We get to see what goes on behind the scenes including a very obvious penis-pumping, drug use, sex and babes. It tells us how being a stripper seeps over to your private life and how stigmatizing it is. Ohmygod I can't even believe I am typing this. It's simply too much. Women dig this crap I guess. I found the lap-dancing and crotch grinding to be super raunchy and kind of grody but that's just me. I will admit, the dudes are all hotties but this "story" - if you can call it that - is no bueno.

MORAL OF THAT STORY: Don't buy the hype.



A year ago, give or take a couple days, I miscarried. I was only a few months along, hadn't even heard a heartbeat but it was one of the most devastating occurrences in my life to date. I had lost my child. 18 years ago I made the decision to terminate a pregnancy and still have thoughts of "what if" about a baby whose heart I never heard beat either. The only thing I can think of that hurts my heart more than the losses of two babies I never knew is thinking of how the mommies of the children that were inexplicably and purposelessly murdered on Friday must feel.
I have found myself crying a lot about those babies, most who were around the same age as my beloved nephew. I wept with the president when he spoke. I wept when two football players from opposing teams in their number 26 jerseys took the field for a moment of silence. I cried all day on Friday as I scrolled through news update after news update searching for some kind of explanation of who could do such a thing as if knowing that would offer any consolation. When I watch a movie, I become a part of that movie, completely emotionally invested and so when I read those news stories, I became a mother of one of those children. I imagined the devastating loss of having never had the chance to say one last goodbye to Casey.
I do not believe that gun control is the answer. I know too many people who own guns and enjoy them that would not dream of using them in a violent way. We can restrict and pass laws until we are blue in the face but criminals and mentally disturbed individuals with a plan will find a way to achieve the chaos they are desperate to spread. There are people who have no moral compass who are desensitized to violence. Mental health should definitely be a topic of conversation and the taboo of mental illness needs to be erased. I mean, I had to be on Prozac for depression and that was SHAMEFUL for me. Why? If I had cancer, something else that I have no control over, would I feel ashamed to receive chemotherapy? 
I keep a journal for Casey and on Friday I wrote the following:
"There was a horrible shooting at a school in Connecticut this morning and many small children were killed. I hope we do a good job teaching you about safety and the dangers of guns and the value of a human life. I pray you are safe when you are away from me. I can only dream that maybe one day this sort of senseless violence will just stop already so we can truly know peace on earth. I love you, Casey. I simply don't know who I was before you or who I'd be with out you."
That is as close to an answer or a plan as I can come. To retain hope. To spread love. To actively work toward a better world and to do that by using our children as instruments to make the world a better place. To hug my son closely and cherish every moment as if it may be our last because frankly we just never know. God willing, the loss of those children's lives was not in vain. Maybe this was a catalyst for a desperately needed change.


Weekend Pictures Christmas Style

This is a shot of me holding BFF's ornament that I randomly picked for myself at my ma's ornament party. I guess it's a good photo of me because I've been complimented on it all morning.
This is the pagoda downtown. It's a music and lights show.
 This is a super tall tree downtown by the theater we frequent they decorate for Christmas
 This is Casey having a grand ol' time dancing and running twixt the tree and the pagoda.
This is my sister-in-law's mother's house decorated for Christmas Tree Lane in the Henry T. Oxnard Historic District.


Mid-December Haiku Friday

We may take Casey
To see the mall Santa Claus
If it's not busy
Need to bake cookies
Buy an ornament as well
For mom's wee party
Get to see some friends
Is there anything better?
Hooray for weekends!


Good, Bad & Ugly

  • Husband comes home tonight after being gone 4-days this week and the last. He'll be home until 2013. Praise the Lord.
  • All the work we had to do on our end for Christmas is complete. Now I am just waiting patiently for Christmas day to come and enjoying the lights and music and copious amounts of snacks.
  • BFF and Co. are coming this weekend to attend an ornament party my ma is hosting.
  • I am off on the 24th, 25th, 28th, 31st and 1st. I mean, hot damn. Maybe this will give me the recharge I have been looking for because work is...
  • I swear work has just not been my thing lately. I've been grumpy and just not feeling it. The last time I took a week off? Last December when I went to Michigan for Christmas. What the hell? 
  • I got my new fireplace screen and am super excited about having an indoor fire but my tools are back-ordered and no one will tell me when they are coming and thus you have this white whine.
  • It's supposed to rain for the next three days and I really wanted to take my boy down Candy Cane Lane or Santa Claus Lane... whatever it's called. But they decorate two blocks of historic Oxnard and we want to walk rather than drive through.
  • Casey is not sleeping well and thus I am not sleeping well and now I've got beef with him. Going to bed has become a struggle and for the past three days he has come into my room at the dark early hours of the morning. I swear if there is one thing that makes me not want to reproduce again, it's the lack of sleep. Holy hell.
  • I said I wouldn't do it but I did. I weighed myself yesterday morning and I was at 223 with a long sleeve shirt, a camisole, jeans, chonies and socks on. We'll go ahead and call that 220. Boo.
  • It's fucking UGLY watching my Gran fall into dementia. She confuses easily and forgets often and gets all frustrated and wants to sort of fight about it. I don't like it. I don't like how my mom responds to her. I don't like any of it.


Check Myself

It's been a week since I declared my Day 1 and I'm not entirely convinced that I was successful. However, I did give it some effort. I have really made it a point to walk the dog with the boy. We did a lot of cleaning and yard work this weekend which I consider strenuous physical energy. Even though I only had 2 meals both days I may have made up for that with beer. It was my company holiday party. Not ideal, really, but I don't think I "over did" it per se. Definitely haven't weighed myself yet and I am knee-deep in menses so I'm not going to. Actually, I don't think I'll weigh myself until after the first of the year. Because why do that to myself?
Yesterday I did well. I had my oatmeal for breakfast and salad for lunch along with my healthy snacks. I walked the dog and had a light dinner. I only had one beer instead of the many I would have liked to have had. I guess I just have to look at those small accomplishments and be proud of them. I'm not trying to be unrealistic. I did, however, quit the candy dish at work once again yesterday. Because OHMYGOD ENOUGH WITH THE TINY CANDIES!
So some goals:
  • stop eating when I feel full/eat only half of my serving/focus on realistic serving sizes
  • stop eating out of stress or boredom
  • try to keep it to one beer a night Monday through Thursday
  • make an effort to move more
  • drink more water at work + no sodas if I do eat out at a restaurant
  • stay away from the candy dish at work
Obviously I am doing this because two-twenty-anything is clearly not a good size for me to be or a healthy weight for me to be. I also want to shop for cute clothes and/or fit in the clothes I used to fit in that are currently hanging useless in my closet. But also I'm starting to wonder if me being this big is keeping me from getting knocked up... because, um, we have been trying. And nothing is sticking.


Movie Review Monday

There is a new version of this movie out right now and when I mentioned to Husband that I hadn't seen the original Red Dawn I got a kind of look that could be described as judgmental. Since I have some sort of self-imposed movie viewing reputation to uphold, I netflixed it and we finally got around to watching it this weekend. I'm pretty sure Husband said he loved "The Swayz" Not Swayze. The Swayz. Charlie Sheen before the whole Tiger Blood thing is really hot. C. Thomas Howell is all up in it commando style. Can I just tell you that when Lea Thompson and Jennifer Grey showed up on screen I actually shouted and howled with laughter? Epic.
The movie dives right into the violence, ok? They're not trying to ease into anything. One minute the kids are in a classroom, next minute the Soviets are parachuting onto their quad and shooting up the place. It's pretty graphic and had me jumpy in a super fun way. People are dying left and right. I loved it more than I logically should have. I will confess, though, I sort of missed the last few minutes because I fell asleep but I really don't think my life will be affected adversely because of it. I had a jolly good time watching it up until then and from what Husband tells me, the ending kind of stunk. Guess you should watch it and tell me what I missed.


Pearl Harbor Rememberance Haiku Friday

Presents all purchased
Most of my cards have been mailed
Had to trim my list
Now it's time to wrap
And hope Casey can control
His urge to open
Much less stress this year
First Christmas in our "new" house
Happy to be home



For as far back as I can remember, every December my Gran gave me and my brother an Advent calendar. Each day from the 1st until the 25th we could open one door and find one candy counting down to Christmas Day. I think my mom took over this tradition eventually and I remember having a calendar all to myself up until maybe a year ago. My family loves beating a tradition to death.
This year, "Gaga" (a.k.a. my mom) got Casey his very own calendar. He really seems to know what is going on this Christmas. He is fascinated by the lights outside and the tree and calls my nutcracker collection his robots. He talks to me about Santa. Then he got this magic treat of a chocolate per day and you can consider his mind blown.
Each day I sit and tell him "Let's look for Number _" and we look at each of the tiny numbered doors and find what we are looking for. Then together we open the tiny door and find a tiny foil wrapped chocolate just for Casey. It truly is the highlight of his day. Bright and early this morning he said "Mama? Numboo fow? Wook fo Sanna?" and I told him we had to wait until later and he was crushed. It's the most hilarious thing to watch him remember certain events and talk about them all day long. There really is nothing comparable to seeing Christmas through his eyes. And to watch him savor the heck out of a piece of "canny."


Not For The Squeamish

A while back my friend Hung wrote a post about Pull-Ups. Here is my story.

Last night I put Casey down to bed at 8 like I always do. I shut the door behind me so that he doesn't try to resist night-night. After some nice chill-out time for mama, I decide to open his door at 9. Last night, his eyes popped open so I went to tuck him back in when I could smell he had made a poopoo. So I said, "Come on, buddy, let's change your diaper" and was met with the horror of seeing that the poopoo was not contained in his Pull-Up (aka chonies). We use those chonies to make him feel like a big boy... Mistake? Perhaps.
There was poop on his pillow, on his stuffed Woody that he sleeps with, on his blankets... everywhere. It was up his back and spilling out onto his pajamas. I had to lift his pajama top over his head and it spread to his hair. Pull-Ups don't have the side fasteners like diapers do so I had to pull down that Pull-Up full of poop and watch it spill to the carpet. Oh the smell! Oh the sadness!
Next stop was getting him into the shower to clean off the poop that could have very well been sitting on him for nearly an hour. That left quite a lovely mess in the bathtub as you could well imagine. Poor Casey was half asleep and totally confused as to why he couldn't just sit down in the tub. It was heart wrenching. We got him cleaned up, dried off and into new pajamas. I threw everything into the sanitary wash cycle and tried to get rid of the evidence.
All the while Casey was following me around the house saying "mama? mama?" and it broke my heart that I had confused him to this degree. I tried to tuck him back into big boy bed but he was having none of it. Obviously, I wouldn't have wanted anything to do with poop bed either. Poor traumatized child. He slept with me in my bed so my night was full of him throwing himself around and kicking me. Awesome.
In my haste I washed his red blanket with his favorite white blanket and now that and Woody's vest are a depressing hue of pink. I feel terrible about it. I feel like I could have done better as a mommy. And naturally, this all happens when Husband is out of town for work. Le Sigh.

MORAL OF THAT STORY: Save the Pull-Ups for potty training. Skip the big boy stuff.


Day One

Yesterday I went through my old calendar, transferring dates from 2012 to 2013. That's probably one of my favorite things to do at the end of the year aside from updating my address book. Lame! I didn't realize it, but I have a doctor's appointment with my primary care physician on January 4th. Nothing like a looming appointment to make you really take a look at yourself. I'll share in snippets.
  • My size 16s are very tight.
  • I do not know my exact weight but I believe it to be somewhere in the 220 zone
  • Since Curves shut down, my exercise program has become all but non-existent.
  • I fell back into the candy drawer at work
  • I stopped bringing my lunch which equals too much eating out
  • I bought a treadmill that I have yet to use
All of these things have pretty stupid and altogether avoidable consequences. Mostly: THE FAT

So today I brought my salad and banana and baby carrots to work. Instead of the candy drawer I'm back on the dark chocolate Kashi granola bars. No more sodas at lunches out, just water. I am proud to say that last night even though I got home from the market after dark, we still took Betty for a walk around the hood. It's not much but it's something.

See... my doctor wants to put me on cholesterol medicine but I wouldn't let him because I said I was trying to get knocked up. The knocking up has not happened and I assume neither has a drop in my cholesterol. The last thing I want to do is to get a stern talking to by a health care professional.

So my goal is to take it a day at a time. Really try to be as good as I can be - day by day - because "the holidays" really isn't an excuse to not try at all, am I right?


Killing ME Softly

Hello and welcome to my review of Killing Them Softly, starring Brad Pitt, James Gandolfini and Ray Liotta. This is apparently some sort of gangster movie and with the aforementioned cast I was expecting something on par with Snatch. What I got was a steaming pile of hot garbage that I can only liken to Drive.  That was also a critical darling. However, this one ended up disappointing me so much that I actually said "Are you fucking kidding me?" when the credits started to roll. Unfortunately, where Drive was the strong, silent type, KTS was non-stop noise. Background radio noise, chatter, non-stop discussions about nothing and hardly any action. Don't even get me started with incorporating Bush and Obama and the recession, ok? We just got out of an election. OVER IT.
About an hour into it I asked Husband how much longer we had to sit through this shit. When we left the theater? I was FURIOUS. We hardly ever get to go out and this is how we spent our money and our time? I mean, I was so pissed during the movie I was unable to snuggle with my Husband, forget about enjoying my alone time with him. FUCK YOU, Brad Pitt, you pretentious piece of shit. I know this was some kind of a vanity project because it was your production company that put it out. Man. I hated you because of what you did to Jennifer Aniston but this shit seals the deal.