And when you're gone he might regret it
Think about the love he once had
Try to carry on, but he just won't get it
He'll be back on his knees

I heard those lyrics this morning and for some reason it was like a ray of light. Oh, Madonna. It's too bad you have turned into such a self-righteous cunt. As a child and even into my 20s you were IT for me. Now you're an old lady pretending to be a teenager and it's just awkward. Anyway, back to the lyrics. Sometimes you get caught up in thinking about what you once had or might have had and it's this altered reality, right? Somehow all the bad just gets erased and you get distracted. Something along those lines happened yesterday and rather than send me into some fantasy land, it made me really appreciate my life and what it has become.
Husband has been sick since Saturday and he is a little bit difficult to get along with when he is not 100%. He considers himself a burden and I don't so we're a bit at odds. We kind of had a spat over that and I started to get a little irritated until I took the time to think of who he is in my life. He is a natural father, a wonderful husband and a great friend. He makes me laugh, sacrifices so much to give us a good life and really is a perfect match for me. I think of all the times he has put up with my craziness, especially postpartum, and I could not be more appreciative. He really is a catch and we fit together like hand in glove.
I realized last week that Prozac had pretty much stopped working for me. I think I have been on it for close to five years now. I noticed I still had too much anxiety and was too easily irritated so my doctor put me on Zoloft. I don't know that it is working yet but I hope it will soon. I would like to be an even-keeled wife and mother. I'd like to be able to give to Husband all the things he has given to me in terms of emotional support and availability. I'm not sure where I'm going with all of this other than just to put into writing that I am so grateful I'm one of the lucky ones who actually married the love of her life. I'm thankful for the things in my past that may have hurt the two of us but managed to bring us closer together and I'm hopeful it's forever.


Movie Review Monday

A couple of weekends ago, Husband came home with a Mickey Mouse t-shirt for me and it was a Men's XL so it was a bit baggy. I asked him to make it a sleeveless tee for me to wear to the zoo since it was a warm sunny day and I didn't feel like exposing the zoo-goers to my fat rolls by wearing a form fitting tank top. I knew I got the idea from somewhere but I didn't realize it was from Emilio Estevez's look in The Outsiders, a movie from 1983 that I had shockingly never seen. Husband basically demanded that I watch it so I pushed it to #1 on the queue and watched it this weekend. First of all, everyone who was anyone in the 80s is in this movie: Diane Lane, Leif Garrett, C Thomas Howell, Rob Lowe, Patrick Swayze, Tom Cruise, Ralph Macchio... yeah. It's like an 80s version of Magic Mike with all that eye candy. Sadly, it's probably one of the corniest movies I have ever watched and I was practically dying over it. Soces (pronounced So-sh, short for Social I guess) versus the Greasers. Stay gold, Pony Boy. Let's do it for Johnny. I mean, it's real bad. But it's definitely a part of movie history that I am glad I can now say I finally saw. Especially because I once dated a dude they called Ponyboy and I had no idea what that meant until I actually saw this. Wowza.


Bye, July Haiku Friday

Olympics starting
Husband will be hooked on them
Set the DVR
I like how London
Put the smack down on Romney
He's a fucking fool
I'm a liberal
Anti-conservative, too
Or so I've been told


Ok, I'll Blog

  • We didn't watch a single movie this weekend but we did watch the first 2 episodes of Friday Night Lights. I'm not sure I am gonna get into that one although it does seem to be a good program. I don't have time in my life to catch up on a series and just prefer movies. There. I said it.
  • After having the in-laws over for a spectacular visit for 15 days, it was nice to have our house to ourselves this weekend. We went to the park, went swimming, went on a bike ride. But mostly, we just hung out at home. And I cleaned like a maniac. But that's nothing new.
  • July has been a bit of a bust diet-wise. I may or may not have gained a pound or two here and there. Right now I'm sitting at 209.5. Went to Curves 4 times last week and I'm thinking we may see 5 this week. I will be stoked if I could lose some weight or inches by the time the next check-in rolls around on August 9.
  • I love Betty but she is the most expensive dog ever. Since she was jumping over our wall we needed to add on an additional top fence which cost us around $100. Another fun weekend project for my brother and Husband. At least the fence is working at keeping her in the yard. So she can eat Casey's pool and Casey's sand box toys and anything else we don't have hanging from the ceiling.


Scary World Haiku Friday

4 a.m. knocking
Our cul de sac surrounded
Police men, cop cars
Want to go out back
Make sure the bad guy's not there
Our place is secure
Nice little story
For the inlaws to leave with
And Batman shootings



I'm in an obsessive kind of mood and I can't stop thinking about my weight so I'm going to dump it here and see if that helps. Besides, this blog could use more ranting. Let's break it down. After my miscarriage I started really noticing my fat once I got out of my wee depression so I started Curves on March 12th with the goal of losing some tonnage by my 35th birthday. I lost those 10 pounds a month late but I still did it. And that's where I'm currently sitting. I haven't lost any weight since May. But I haven't gained any either so there's that.
I shouldn't be so obsessed with the scale because I have lost a pants size as well as 5.5" of my body so it must be working but I just want so badly to be under 200. Hell, I'd be happy if I weighed myself with clothes on and that number would just be below 210. Right now I'm sitting at 211.5, post workout, in my workout clothes, with no shoes. That's basically what I weighed at Curves on the 9th of July.
My in-laws have been here so they've been walking Betty and we've been having crazy big dinners and dessert every night. It's been great but it's definitely gotten me out of my routine of eating small dinners and walking the dog to the park with Casey after work. I'm going to consider July sort of a wash. There was that whole first week where I didn't even go to Curves, the following week when I went three times... yeah. It's just been bad.
Today, Jan didn't want to go to Curves at lunch because her knee is hurting but I still went. It took some convincing but I just have to go, you know? I can't keep making excuses or looking for the easy way out. And I went to the gym and I sweated a whole bunch and I felt better because I did it. Also? Since Husband has been buying cookies to have in the house for his parents, I have totally OD'd on them. Jan (that damn trouble maker) even brought some in to work today and normally I would have eaten all of them but today just looking at them makes me a little queasy.
So that's all. I just want to re-motivate myself. It's a marathon, not a sprint. My membership is until May so I have time. I would just really like to have my Curves weigh in on August 9th show a bit lower than it's showing now.



  • 24 weeks and no candy at work. 
  • 215 clothed on the scale. Counting it as 210. That number ain't budgin'.
  • Only 4 trips to Curves so far this month. Not good. I'll be lucky if I hit 15 in July.
  • In-laws are on Day 13 of their visit and the only complaint I have is that my M-I-L won't stop cleaning my house. Not exactly complaint worthy. They leave on the 20th and I'm actually kind of sad about it.
  • Today is the 57th anniversary of Disneyland opening. That makes me happy.
  • 12 more days til Andrea turns 40.


Movie Review Monday

Let me preface this post with a couple things. I have never read a Spider-Man comic book. My only knowledge of Spider-Man is the Tobey Maguire movies and whatever pop culture influence I may have stumbled upon so I don't have a ton of geek knowledge or any of that stuff. That being said? I fucking love Spider-Man. How dope would it be to all of a sudden realize you had super powers? Batman and Iron Man, they're dope and all but basically they're just rich, older dudes that want to fight crime. I mean, minus that thing in Tony Stark's chest but that doesn't really give him superpowers, it just keeps him alive. But Peter Parker? All of a sudden he can climb walls and has super strength and that must just kick so much ass.
I liked the first Tobey movie really a lot and liked the following two okay but I was still super excited to see what they were going to do with the re-booted franchise. Just because we know an origin story doesn't mean it can't be done again. Take for instance Tim Burton's Batman and Christopher Nolan's Batman, right? Totally different takes on the very same story, both incredible and both holding a very special place in this movie-viewer's heart.
We finally got to see The Amazing Spider-Man yesterday afternoon. Emma Stone is going to have a long career as an amazing actress. Her comedic timing is just perfect and I adored her as Gwen Stacy. The love story she shares with Peter Parker simply melted my heart. Denis Leary as her dad, Captain Stacy of the NYPD, was just a perfect choice as were Sally Field as Aunt May and Martin Sheen as Uncle Ben. Nailed it. I had my doubts about Andrew Garfield because the only thing I had ever seen him in was Social Network and he didn't really leave that strong of an impression on me. However, as Peter Parker and Spider-Man, he blew the roof off the mutha-sucka! I can basically say I fell in love with him. Perfect, perfect, perfect.
I was scared to death by Rhys Ifan's "The Lizard" because nothing terrifies me more than a dinosaur and seeing a dude morph into one is just nuts. The action was breath-taking and more than once I was literally on the edge of my seat. I love it when a movie is set in New York because cameras just love that beautiful city. I can't say one bad thing about The Amazing Spider-Man. As we walked to the car I was basically screaming at Husband about how dope the movie was. And because he knows and loves me, he even bought me a Spider-Man lunch box. Before we saw the movie. And now? That lunchbox is even doper than it was the day before! It's that good, you guys! Don't even bother listening to the haters out there. Just take my word and go see the damn thing. Do it. Now. And? Keep your eyes open for the C. Thomas Howell cameo... I haven't seen that dude since Soul Man!


Haiku Friday the 13th

Played hooky Thursday
Reagan Library
We took the in-laws
Casey saw Mickey
The Disney exhibit rocks
Highly recommend
Highlight for me though?
Getting my picture taken
With Mary Poppins



Things that make me happy:
  • Having my in-laws as house guests
  • Having a house husband
  • Not having to take Casey to and from the sitter
  • Not having to walk Betty after work
  • Seeing the scale this morning say 213.5 clothed and shoed. To me that's 208.5 and I'm sticking with it.
  •  Flowers blooming in my flower bed
  • MIL's homemade strawberry jello pie
  • Casey being at home when I get home and running to the car to greet me
  • Home-made dinners
  • Having people over for dinner
  • Going back to Curves
  • Having a solid budget through the end of August
  • Beer
  • My puppy and my bunny
  • My family when we all get along


Curves Check-In #4

  • Down 9 pounds since March but up 1 pound since last month.
  • Down 3" since March but she may have measured me wrong so I'm disregarding this month's numbers. I find it unlikely I gained 3" in a month. Likely down about 6" total.
  • 58 total attendances since March, just 1 attendance this month so far.
  • My BMI is down from 34.61 to 33.20 so I guess that boils down to 7.71 body fat pounds lost. Down 1.41% total.
I'm not going to let myself get discouraged. I took a week off from Curves because I fell off a ladder on the 4th of July and wanted to recoup. I've been keeping busy working in the yard and walking the dog and playing with the boy. I just need to get back on track with better eating habits. I start my period this week so I could be retaining water. I'm definitely retaining a shit load more beer than I usually drink in a week. God bless America on her birthday. I feel pretty good about fitting in several different pairs of size 14 pants so I know it's not just a fluke and I may very well be down a pant size. I guess that's the best we can do. Baby steps. Not giving up. Keep on keepin' on, so to speak.
 By the way? I would like to say that I have very little discipline in the real world. I'm grateful I can eat a healthy breakfast, snacks and lunch during my work day. I don't have access to anything to drink other than water or coffee so that helps. It's been 23 weeks (about 6 months, right?) since I had candy out of the dish here at the office. I use 30 minutes of my lunch hour to exercise. After work I may walk to the dog and the kid to the park but other than that, I don't pay too much attention to what I eat and drink.
I guess what I'm saying is that anyone who says they can't lose weight because they don't have the discipline should use me for an example. All you need is to be good 25% of the time and you will notice results. How did I get that number? I'm only really "good" 40 hours of the week here at the office. There are 128 other hours left in a week for me to fuck up. Sleep definitely saves me for a portion but otherwise, I just live. Instead of eating a bowl of M&Ms at home, I have a handful. Instead of having seconds, I try to stick to just one. It's not really that much effort at all and it seems to be producing results.


Take Your Webmaster to Lunch Haiku Friday

My in-laws are here
So I'm taking today off
To chill out with them
15-day visit
I am supremely happy
No one believes me
I dig my in-laws
They will help me with Casey
And keep Husband home!


Book Review

Much in the vein of Tina Fey's very funny book Bossypants, Mindy Kaling has a book of wee essays called Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns). I had bought this for BFF for her birthday because she too is a hilarious and incredibly smart Indian woman and I like to get all ethnic in my gift giving. I meant to give it back to her yesterday when she came over to celebrate America's birthday with us, but, well, I'd been drinking and it is still sitting on my desk as of this morning. However, I digress! Mindy Kaling is super witty and smart and has some delightful rules about what men should be like if she's going to date them and how her funeral should be and how best friends should act. She tells funny little stories stories about writing/producing The Office and being unemployed in New York after college. I laughed out loud quite a bit and definitely had to read excerpts for Husband when he stared at me quizzically after one of my many outbursts. It's only natural to assume she is Kelly Kapoor but she's not. Well... maybe a little. Either way, I love her even more now after having read this.


Two For Tuesday

In lieu of two new movies, this weekend we watched two stand-up routines. The Bill Cosby one is so old, he refers to his seventeen thousand dollar Ferrari. That almost gave Husband palpitations, by the way. Compared to the comedy shows we watch like Luis CK, Bill Cosby is very mild. His humor is very safe yet very funny. It took me a while to get into it but his jokes about the different walks you get from different kinds of drunk is pretty good stuff. Mostly, I laughed my ass off when he was talking about his children and how they drove his wife crazy. Not that I can relate to that or anything.... The other routine was by Jo Koy. I never heard of him before but BFF thought he was funny and I generally let her pressure me into watching things. I guess that's the main reason Friday Night Lights is all we'll be watching from Netflix for the foreseeable future. Anywho, Jo Koy also talks about his son and how crazy and silly he is but where he really kills it is when he does impressions of his Filipino mother. He was also pretty tame but super funny. I would probably watch him again. But while I'm on the topic of comedians, if you aren't watching Louie on FX, I really think you are missing out. He is a brilliant man, dare I go so far as to say he is a genius. Luis CK does everything on that show, like casting, directing, editing... all of it. I really dig it. There. I'm done.


Movie Review Monday

On Friday night, Husband and I had date night. For some reason, my parents came over before 5 pm to babysit so we ended up catching the late afternoon matinee of Brave before going out to a delicious sushi dinner that was only made better by Sapporo on draft and a complimentary green tea ice cream from a waitress who was super excited that we, as parents of a 2-year old, were actually eating dinner at her restaurant on the one night we had a chance to eat out. But back to the real reason we are here: Brave. Brave is Pixar's first film with a woman as a lead and I believe it's like their thirteenth movie so it's about time. This is no princess movie although Merida, with her very red and wild hair, is an actual princess. There is no prince that is going to save the day. Rather, it is a story of how Merida is trying to forge a life and a future of her own by breaking tradition, even at the expense of potentially destroying her relationship with her mother the queen. It's a very good story with breathtaking visuals, sweeping views of gorgeous scenery and Scottish accents a plenty. I don't want to give away too much but the bear angle is quite scary times. At a couple different points I was in Husband's lap so I'm not sure how the kiddos would react but for me it was fantastic. I love Pixar because it takes the impossible and makes it seem completely believable and totally realistic. I've heard many folks reviewing this film say it's missing something, but I can't agree with them nor can I figure out what it is they're talking about. I highly recommend this movie to you, especially to moms and daughters, for it is funny and moving and charming all at once.