Last Haiku Friday of March

Thursday fully sucked
A lack of sleep can kill me
And murder others
Puppy and toddler
Adorable but hard work
Throw in a bunny
Thank my lucky stars
Husband is home for three days
I needed a hand


Book Review Thursday

BFF (along with pretty much everyone else in America) read this book ages ago and told me how great it was but I really hadn't been in the reading spirit until recently. With the movie coming out, I decided I would quickly devour it so I could go to the show. Quickly indeed. I probably could have read it in much less time than the week or so I have had it but I didn't want it to end. Stephenie Meyer should take note: This is how a love triangle should be for a teenage girl. She should be the warrior with mixed emotions, not the pining and conflicted damsel in distress. The Hunger Games definitely has a futuristic social commentary to it but it doesn't shove it in your face. It's definitely graphic and much more violent than any book I read as a teenager but I guess it's time to face the facts that the times are changing. Mostly, I found that this book would be very empowering to young women. You can't fault a message like that. I hope that the movie does it justice because my imagination was running wild the entire time I was reading. I guess I'll find out this weekend. And also? Damn a trilogy. This first book left me on the edge and now I have to wait for the second one to get here. Because you know I ordered the box set from Amazon.


Numbers & Morals

I have 10 days of Curves under my belt. When I signed up on March 9th, I weighed in at 221 pounds; I checked with the lady yesterday. This morning, I weighed myself and the scale said 215.5. That's a loss of 5.5 pounds. I am so very excited about this I could just scream. I think about now is usually when I would celebrate by diving into the candy drawer at work but I'm not going to do that and ruin 8 weeks of success. That's right! 2 months without eating candy at work. Damn, I'm good.
Someone I know joined Jenny and has lost nearly 20 pounds. There's also a gal on Facebook I used to go to high school with who has turned into a fitness fanatic and I'd be surprised if she has any body fat on her at all. She has 2 kids. Naturally, this has brought out a somewhat competitive nature in me. I also had the inspiration of trying to avoid being put on cholesterol medicine and some size 16 pants that were just way too tight.
So what have I been doing during the work week?
  • McDonald's oatmeal with fruit and nuts 
  • 2 cups of coffee with Splenda and almond milk
  • Banana
  • Curves for 30 minutes (so far I'm averaging 4 days a week)
  • Pre-packaged salad from Vons that is about 280 calories per serving
  • Handful of baby carrots
  • Water
  • Kashi Dark Mocha Almond Granola Bar
  • Apple
  • Walk the dog and the boy to the park (approximately 15 minutes total)
For dinner, I tend to eat whatever is being served or is lying around but in moderate portion sizes and I have 1 beer and a few M&Ms or mini eggs to curb my sweet tooth. The weekends tend to be somewhat of a free-for-all but I find that we generally only eat breakfast and dinner for the most part. It's the binge drinking of beer I do on the weekend that I really need to curb. But that doesn't matter! I'm being active and conscious. My goal is to weigh 200 pounds by my 35th birthday on May 12th so I have about 6 weeks to lose 15 pounds.

I'm really doing this!


Netflix Two-sday

Friday night's flick was The Green Hornet. I guess I was riding the Seth Rogen high from last weekend's 50/50 and wanted to keep it going. I'm a fan of the super hero genre but this kind of has a twist to it. Rogen's character has a background similar to Iron Man with the rich father that makes him a playboy kind of son. The old man dies, Rogen finds out that his dad's former mechanic is really a wizard with machinery and together with him, he decides they should be superheros confused for villains. I'm not going to say that this movie was good or bad. It could have been better but there are some cool scenes, quite a few laughs and neat car chases. Husband fell asleep in the middle of it and that never happens. I really do love Seth Rogen though. Cameron Diaz is kind of an afterthought in this movie. I was confused by the casting.

Saturday night was Young Adult. The previews for this movie led me to believe it was a dark comedy, however, those previews were misleading. The story is about an almost 40-year old Mavis (Charlize Theron) who writes young adult novels, hence the title. She left her hick hometown where she was the popular girl for a big life in the big city. She realizes maybe she's not as fulfilled as she would like to be when her high school ex-boyfriend's new wife sends a birth announcement. She decides to go back home to win him back, completely delusional to the fact that he is a happily married father of a newborn. It's clear that Mavis has some problems with alcoholism as well as no relationship with her parents who have left her room exactly as it was 18 years go. She runs into a former classmate who was a dork in high school that she never noticed and they form this weird co-dependent friendship for the week she is in town. Yeah. Not funny at all. Other than the ex and his new wife, no one is really likeable at all in this movie. And they're all doing somewhat unlikeable things. Dammit, Diablo Cody. You're better than this.


Movie Review Monday

Ever since I saw the red band trailer for 21 Jump Street, I had been itching to see it. It's rare that I laugh as hard as I did at a preview but I thought this movie looked hilarious. Yesterday, we got to see a rainy day matinee and all I can say is that I feel really bad for the guy sitting in front of me because I was laughing so hard I was literally screaming at the back of his head.
I didn't expect much from Channing Tatum other than a pretty face but by god is he hilarious. For being that gorgeous, he really has a good sense of humor about it. And Jonah Hill is just on a roll. I'm glad to see he's really making it. There are cameos by the TV show's stars Peter Deluise, Holly Robinson Peete, and yes, Johnny Depp. There are so many hilarious comedians in this that you'll recognize from some of the funniest TV shows and movies of the past few years.
The story is smart and takes itself somewhat serious while being completely asinine. The action scenes had me crunched up in my seat and the comedy had me dying. I can't ask for much more than that. Also? Keep an eye out for the lead kid played by James Franco's younger brother. He's a super cutie but also a pretty good actor. I know everyone's seeing Hunger Games right now but I hope 21 Jump Street doesn't get lost in the hype of all that. This movie really deserves its chance.


Happy Birthday, Gran Haiku Friday

Happy Birthday, Gran!
Made it to eighty-seven
And still no gray hair
Casey's so lucky
To know his great-grandma Anne
And to steal her cane
I'm glad to have you
You are a witty old gal
Stick around for me


Thursday Numbers

  • Betty has gone TWO nights without an accident in the house. I have to get up with her at least TWICE in the night to avoid accidents. It's like having a newborn all over again.
  • Yesterday marked SEVEN days at Curves and SEVEN weeks without eating candy out of the candy dish at work. My lucky number.
  • On Saturday, Casey will be NINETEEN months old.
  • Tomorrow, Gran will be EIGHTY SEVEN years old.
  • Last weekend I bought FOUR books at Barnes & Noble for less than THIRTY dollars. TWO of those were hardcover. I hope to read them soon, specifically Hunger Games.
  • Mad Men returns to TV on Sunday the TWENTY FIFTH after an EIGHTEEN month hiatus and I could not be more thrilled. Damn, I love to hate Don Draper. And to ogle Joanie. Yum.
  • This weekend we plan on seeing 21 Jump Street. I used to love that show when I was a kid. Now I love Jonah Hill and foul-mouthed humor.
  • I eat McDonald's Fruit & Maple Oatmeal FIVE days a week because my co-worker brings it to me. She's addicted and she took me down the bad path right along with her. I am pretty it is terrible for me. Only McDonald's could fuck up something like oatmeal right?

I have lost THREE pounds since I joined Curves almost TWO weeks ago. Scale after eating breakfast, clothed but shoeless: 217.5. Before weigh in at Curves, I weighed 220.5 with the same attire. Yup. And? I'm totally bloated with lady visit time. Holler.



My most recent triumph was that I had quit the candy dish here at work. I believe I'm on week 7 now. It's amazing how I turned the habit of eating candy all day long into a habit of avoiding it. I really feel I did something. I had made a goal of bringing salads to work and that worked sometimes but not often. I'm not exactly sure how or when I fell off that wagon but I did and I'm not beating myself up over it. I ditched cow's milk for almond milk but that was just an attempt to lower my cholesterol. I'm not a fan of the taste so I ditched cereal and have moved on to oatmeal and fruit in the morning. I now only use almond milk in my coffee and am trying to gradually stop using that all together and maybe quitting Splenda. Maybe. And just at work. I just don't see myself drinking black coffee. It's too manly to me.
What I am most proud of, though, is joining Curves. My first day was March 12 and since then I have been 6 times. It's a 30-minute circuit of aerobic and resistance training. My co-worker and I go on our lunch hour. I didn't want to commit to a full year's membership because I'm always terrible at things like that but they offered me a deal where I could go for 2 months for $99 with no enrollment fee as long as I brought in a bag of groceries for their food drive. It's a little higher than the annual membership fee but I like that I can try it out and make sure things are working before I commit to much more than I might be able to actually do. My membership expires on May 16, shortly after I turn 35.
I'm calling this the "Diet for Disney" and am going to go hard or go home until my membership expires. I'm doing really well now bringing a salad to work for lunch every day. Drinking water. Eating fruit and Kashi granola bars instead of junk. I figure I'm saving money by not going out to eat every day in addition to hopefully losing some weight. I weigh 217 naked, 220 with clothes on. My goal is to be down to 210 by Disney weekend of May 20th. Here goes nothing.

MORAL OF THE STORY: I'm not sure if I shit or just got off the pot, but something is happening here.


Netflix Two-sday

First on our list was 50/50, a movie based on an actual experience Seth Rogen had with a young friend who was diagnosed with cancer. I happen to think both Rogen and Joseph Gordon-Levitt are both highly underrated and I was quite impressed with their performances. Considering this is a movie about a 27-year old man given a 50% chance of survival, you would think this would be a sad movie. Which it was, don't get me wrong I bawled. But mostly, it was a movie about friendship with moments of pure comedy stemming from nothing less than tragedy. I would recommend 50/50 solely for the scene where Rogen tells off his buddy's girlfriend (played by the beautiful yet often bitch-cast Bryce Dallas Howard) for basically being the worst person ever. I literally was cheering. The supporting cast is phenomenal and really made this movie come alive. Plus, how can you go wrong when a movie ends with Pearl Jam's Yellow Ledbetter?

And now for the tirade. What the fuck was Midnight in Paris? Seriously. People raved about this shit. It was nominated for everything. Maybe I just don't "get" Woody Allen. I have only ever seen one other movie by him and that was Vicky Cristina Barcelona on cable because nothing else was on. I can't even say I watched that because I liked it. I was just sick and too weak to change the channel. The gist of this story is that Owen Wilson's Hollywood screenwriter cum novelist is in love with Paris in the 20s. Somehow, at midnight, while in Paris, he travels back in time to this period of art and splendor and is fulfilled. In real life present day, he's engaged to this snotty bitch and has to hang out with all her whiny, pretentious friends while he himself basically just kind of sucks. I can't think of a single character that was likeable in this movie aside from Kathy Bates as Gertrude Stein and she was only in it for like a handful of minutes. I'm not sure what kind of world Woody Allen lives in but I'm glad I don't live there. I don't think I'd like the people he's around much. Clearly everyone he associates with is terrible.


Movie Review Monday

If you have been a reader of my blog for any amount of time, I assume you have picked up on the fact that I love Will Ferrell and I love the Spanish language. When I realized he was making a movie spoken entirely in Spanish, I knew I had to be there. On opening day, I left work early and took in a matinee of Casa de mi Padre. I live in Oxnard, California, a town with a thriving Mexican population that spans many generations. It seems that a good sample of that population decided to see the movie with us. There was quite a crowd for a 3 o'clock show that ranged from abuelitos to the sort of thuggish younger group. I can confidently say Husband and I were the only white people in the theater to which he commented "I wonder how many of these people are going to walk out."
It seemed like a reasonable question. If you ask the random passerby, they either loved or hated Anchorman. The thing about Will Ferrell comedies, in general, is that they are pretty much the dumbest things you are ever going to see. I've never known a person to be on the fence about Will Ferrell... he is quite polarizing. I will say that I laughed tremendously hard at Casa de mi Padre, all the while saying "This is so stupid." But it was funny. Period. And I wasn't the only one laughing. The abuelitos were laughing, the thugs were laughing. Everyone laughed at the same things and they laughed hard.
What surprised me about the cast was that there were legit Mexican actors in this film. Diego Luna and Gael GarcĂ­a Bernal are well regarded in all of the serious roles I have seen them in but sure managed to pull the laughs. And Will Ferrell? Well aside from speaking Spanish really well, he was actually the straight man in this one. If you go on Rotten Tomatoes, you'll see the critics give this movie about a 40% but the fans give it an 80%. And that's just the way it is with Will Ferrell. If you love him, you love him. If you don't, well... there's not much he can do to change your mind. I would totally recommend this one though. If only to see a gringo sort of pull it off as a Mexican.


Act Happy Week Haiku Friday

I don't need to "act"
Because I am so happy
Lots of love right now
Our new wee puppy
Husband home after too long
Family together
New Will Ferrell film
Like... what more can I ask for?
A Saint Patty's beer


A New Addition

Lately, Husband and I had gotten the itch to bring another dog in the house. The bunny is great, don't get me wrong, but he's not exactly loving or playful. He's mostly just something cute we get to look at and if he's feeling generous, he'll come up for a pet. Mostly, he just hides under the couch and drops little bunny turds in every room of our house. Little gifts. But I digress.
I started looking on petfinder.com and tried to contact a couple rescues through them. It was sort of discouraging because a lot of shelters seem to be a bit militant in their requirements. One wouldn't consider us simply because Casey is under the age of 5. We were also out of the mile radius they permitted for adoptions. Lots of rules and regulations. Strange questions on the application like "What brand of dog food would you feed the dog?" Um, why does it matter? What matters to me is that I will provide food, love, a home with a yard and I will make sure the pup is healthy. Several of my attempts at inquiry were not even responded to.
Since everyone wants you to rescue a dog when you're looking to get a puppy, I decided to go the way of looking at websites for the local shelters. Not too many puppies at a shelter and we had decided to go that route instead of an older dog because we want Casey and the puppy to grow up together. Most of the shelters around here are bursting at the seams with pit bulls and chihuahuas. Not exactly what we were looking for.
As a last resort, I checked craigslist yesterday. Lo and behold there was an ad for a 10-week old lab/boxer mix girl pup. Not only was she adorable with her black hair and white accents, but she was right around the right age and size we wanted in a dog. Husband called the number and at the end of my work day we headed out to Camarillo to meet the rescue lady. The clincher? When Husband asked about the dog, the lady said "Oh, the pup? We call her Casey." Talk about a sign.
The pup was as sweet as can be and she let us carry her without a struggle. All she wanted to do was lick our faces. The second she saw Casey her tail started wagging and she was determined to follow him around. We were in love at first sight. After we paid the lady the adoption fee, we were on our way with a sweet puppy on my lap the entire car ride home. She chased the bunny around the living room for a bit and then she slept beside my bed all night and never made a single peep.
We decided to name her Betty. Betty Boop, Betty Page and Betty Rubble all have black hair. Rizzo from Grease? Well her name is Betty, too. There's that song Black Betty. It just seems to fit her nicely. I imagine it won't be long until we start calling her lots of other things. Casey calls her puppy and Husband calls her sissy already. She's going to be a big girl, you can tell already. I'm not entirely convinced she doesn't have pit bull in her but it doesn't matter. She's a Friday now.


Movie Review Monday

I have read all the Twilight books except for the last one. I don't know why I never got around to it, I just never did. The first three were dreadful and then I remember reading some spoiler that Edward eats the devil baby out of Bella and I just couldn't. I have seen all of the movies so far so of course I had to watch The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part I when I got the opportunity. What opportunity might that be? Well, no one else could share in my shame. Husband had to be away. It had to be shrouded in secrecy and guilt.
This all sounds a bit hysterical and dramatic but it is what it is. I don't know why I continue to participate in this aspect of pop culture but now that I have gotten this far, I just can't stop. So after I put Casey to bed on Friday night, I watched this DVD alone. In the dark. With a beer. And sadness in my heart. Just as I suspected, it was godawful. There's not another word I can use to describe it. The acting is simply dreadful and the story was pretty lame... not sure why it had to be broken up into two movies other than making that paper. Basically Bella and Edward finally get married. The wedding is just lovely. Then they spend a super long time on their honeymoon making sexy times and playing in a beautiful paradise. Then Bella gets knocked up with Edward's undead demon baby. The fetus is basically eating Bella from the inside and the wolves are pissed and Edward's pissed and there's all this danger. And then the baby is born. And then Bella kind of dies but Edward turns her into a vampire.
Yeah. That's about it. I can't even tell you how ashamed I feel to tell you all of this. I can't in good conscience recommend anyone even watch this drivel unless you just want to stare at Robert Pattinson. Because basically? That's what this boils down to for me. Him. Looking at him. I think I'd have been better off renting Water for Elephants because he's in it and I read that book and at least I know it's good. Oh well. I'll watch that one eventually. And I know I'm going to be watching that last Breaking Dawn when it comes out for rent too. Because I have no will power even though I know it's no good for me. Or for anyone.


Book Review Haiku Friday

Bonk by Mary Roach
This book is all about sex
Science, not sexy
Like penile implants
And erectile dysfunction
Orgasms and things
Lady parts as well
I was just fascinated
Laughed and learned some things


Damn You, Diane Sawyer

Do you spend all your time with your kids, doing chores, taking care of everyone else but yourself? If so we want to hear from you. Use the link below to send us a list of all the things you did today instead of taking time for yourself and a producer may contact you.
This was on the World News with Diane Sawyer's Facebook page yesterday. I looked at that question and thought to myself, "Yes, that's pretty much me to a T." I clicked on the comments and one woman said "All mothers should be doing that." I pondered on that one for a moment. Is that true? Are mothers just supposed to sacrifice everything to be a mother? Because they're mothers?
I can't recall the last time I had a mani/pedi. Was it when I treated Crusty and myself just before her wedding on October 1st? I had many a prenatal massage but I can't recall but one postnatal and I don't even remember when that was. I guess I get a haircut every couple of months but even that is a quick thirty minutes of "me time." Splurging on clothes now means buying jeans in a larger size because the others are cutting off my circulation. Or maybe it means grabbing some $8 tee shirts off the rack at Target. God forbid I actually have to dress up for something because I have nothing even semi-formal.
I hardly even look forward to the weekend because I know it means I have to clean the house and do all our laundry and definitely scrub the bunny cage. Either Husband or I is distracting the baby while the other is handling some kind of task. He handles the yard and the cooking but pretty much everything else falls on me. Let's not forget that he is gone A LOT. Right now he's in Hawaii and I get to play single mom until the 13th at midnight.
So yes, I guess being a mother does sort of make me an afterthought. Would I change it anything? Not for the world. Do I mind that I'm overweight? Maybe a little but that's only until Casey is giggling while mashing my belly and poking his finger deep into my belly button. I think all this extra padding just makes him want to snuggle me more. It sure doesn't slow us down when we spend every free second wrestling and playing. And he never looks at me like he minds that maybe my hair and makeup could be better. He doesn't seem to care that I'm not dressed to the nines. He just loves me because I'm mom.


Movie Review Monday

We've been doing our best to see the Oscar winners and made it to see The Artist on Saturday. I swear, a Saturday matinee with Husband is what I live for. We get a popcorn, sprinkle in some Reese's Pieces and share a Pepsi and just snuggle for about 90-minutes while indulging in eye candy and actual candy. It's the best thing ever. I'm pleased to report that The Artist did not disappoint. I had no idea what to expect, really. This movie is entirely in black and white and there basically is no sound other than musical accompaniment.
Jean Dujardin, Best Actor winner, really came across like a true movie star. He spoke literally two words in this movie and the rest of his character came through via body language and facial expressions (on a good looking face nonetheless!). He wasn't a one trick pony that just hammed it up for the camera. You could literally see his feelings in the way he held himself. It was unlike any performance I have ever seen before. The story is about a silent motion picture actor who gives a young woman her start in show business. Before he knows it, she's the one who is the star and his silent movies are going the way of the dodo. There's drama, romance and comedy along with an outstanding dance number. There's literally not a word spoken until moments before the credits roll. Unbelievable.
And we can't forget the dog! That talented Jack Russel Terrier is in nearly every scene and manages to steal most of them. Turns out, he's 10 years old and now moving on to retirement. Such a nice way to go out right? On top? I highly recommend you give this movie a chance if only to watch a movie as you have probably never watched a movie before. It was a trip to not have solely your ears to rely on. Plus? Everyone and their mother has a supporting role in this movie so it's neat to say "Hey, that's that guy!" every time you turn around.


First of March Haiku Friday

Feeling pretty zen
I'm not stressing about cash
That's a nice feeling
Husband leaves Sunday
For 10 days in Hawaii
Work related trip
Single mom status
Hopefully Casey and I
Will have no problems



We had tried to squeeze Moneyball in before the Oscars because it was up for 6 awards but it got lost in the mail. I don't know why we were so excited about it, though. About halfway through, Husband asked me what I thought and I said "It's pretty boring." When it ended, he said he'd rather have watched paint dry. Not exactly what we had been hoping for.
Is that to say that the performances were not exceptional? No. Jonah Hill blew my mind playing the straight guy. Phillip Seymour Hoffman was outstanding as the coach. Brad Pitt was fine, I suppose, but I don't really get the hype surrounding him. And just to be catty, I don't understand how so many women find him such a heartthrob. My man is not aging well. Not like his buddy Clooney anyway.
The concept itself is incredibly interesting and would have been a good topic for a documentary. I have heard the book this film is based on is sort of difficult to get through. Basically, the Oakland A's had no budget to replace some star players they were losing. Rather than try and compete with million dollar budgets like the Yankees have, Billy Beane (the general manager) puts together an affordable team using statistical data. The A's go on to have a pretty incredible though not World Series winning season after floundering in the beginning. Like baseball itself, this movie was slow but entertaining. I can't say I understand how it was nominated for Best Picture and I don't think Brad Pitt was particularly worthy of Best Actor, though. Jonah Hill, on the other hand, I think has a bright future ahead of him and totally deserved his Best Supporting Actor nomination.