Reflections on a Tuesday

  • I'm in a better frame of mind about food and being fat than I was yesterday. I stood on the scale after my shower and it was less than I thought it would be, although not by much, so I've decided to let that be a catalyst for good behavior. I didn't eat candy at work yesterday and instead snacked on fruit. I only had one beer last night as opposed to the couple I usually have. Today it's been oatmeal and almond milk and I brought some more fruit and my salad for lunch. I also really like April's idea of halving my portions. Such a simple thing to do! While I'm trying to avoid eating out, this is probably essential when I do. Husband is a fan of filling the huge dishes we have with servings of food so perhaps I need to be the one serving myself.
  • Eventually, I have to find some way to exercise. Walking before work is not an option because I am not in the mood to drag Casey out in the morning. Walking after work is a struggle because it is still pretty dark pretty early. I have not yet used the Wii Fit I swore I would use because frankly I'm not sure how. There seem to be treadmills on Craigslist but I need to wait until tax returns before I commit to that big of a purchase. I keep thinking I'd like to walk on my lunch hour but I've yet to figure that out either. I own yoga DVDs but actually putting them in? Yeah...#whitepeopleproblems
  • Sleepless nights affect me more than I should let them. I believe this is another reason to not have a second child. Since last Thursday, I've had interrupted sleep or very early wake ups. Last night, Casey was to blame because he has a cough that is apparently cataclysmic to an almost 17-month old. I do not have the patience to deal with this sort of thing. I ponder often if this is why I was on Prozac or if it's just OK to be that irritated. It tends to seep over to Husband, too. It's definitely something I'm struggling with because I do not want to go back on Prozac but I don't want to dislike my family.
  • If my period ever comes, I have decided that I am definitely going back on the Nuvaring. I don't think I love the idea of hormones but I definitely do not want an "accident." This Friday will be 5 weeks since the miscarriage... I wonder if it will be soon... Maybe this accounts for my awesome mood?
  • Thankfully, I am sorting all of this out prior to my doctor's appointment this Friday. I'm also quite proud of myself for sort of actually sticking to my new year's resolution of getting healthy. Husband bought two packages of Double-Stuf Oreos because they were on sale and I haven't even LOOKED at them. Silver linings and small achievements, people.


Andrea said...

I'm currently about to die because I took the stairs up the 4 stories of my office building.

I'm logging my food, again, via MyFitnessPal.

We're in this together, friend.

Coodence said...

It's all about small achievements. As many as possible in every day.

I bought packaged cookies a couple of weeks ago for the first time, maybe ever. I won't do that again. Because they're not as good as homemade but mostly because I ate like 2 whenever I wanted to. For no reason.

Oh cookies. You stay out of my house.

Andrea said...

Also, I wish I had money for therapy. I'd be in therapy in a hot second right about now if I did.

If you need the Prozac, take the Prozac. There is no shame in that. AT ALL. I know the side effects can bite it, though.

Jessica said...

Yay for ignoring the Oreos. I'd have to throw those suckers in the trash.

Went to see my doc yesterday and she put me back on meds (ppd a year later anyone?) and made me promise to go to therapy.

You've had a rough year. Cut yourself some slack. :)

April said...

I agree with Andrea and Jessica. If you need some Prozac for the time being, then take some AND you should cut yourself some slack. I know that you want to keep it all together naturally, but DUDE, you seriously have had some ROUGH times lately. You wouldn't be a failure or be giving up if you needed to take it for a little while. Between your miscarriage, Casey going through his tantrums, you not getting enough sleep (VERY IMPORTANT) and being down about your weight, I don't think it would be awful if you took it nor do I think anyone would blame you.

Also, about the portion control thing. The best way for it to work is to eat a little slower than you normally would. Try enjoying each bite of food. What I did to eat more slowly was to make sure I chewed each bite of food until I couldn't feel anymore chunks. (That sounds gross I know) But after a while, it kind of became a habit and I just started eating slower.