Humpday Musings

Do you see that picture there? That's me wearing the Muppet shirt I was hell bent on wearing. When I got it, it was almost too small. As in, it was skin tight. And it was a "girly" fit XXL. I cautiously stretched that thing out and wore it over to BFF's place this weekend for her Labor Day BBQ. Her sister snapped that picture and at first I was like "At what point was Casey playing with a beached whale?" and then I realized "Wow, that's ME." I'm sure it's a bad angle or whatever but there is no denying the fact that the person in that picture is a 210-pound Randi. And I am pretty sure that beer in my hand, one of many that day, is part of the problem.
I am going to be a bridesmaid in Crusty's wedding soon and I'm disgusted to know that I will be photographed multiple times at this current girth. I know, no one is there to see me; they're there to see the bride and groom. But still. There's this thing I have called pride and I'm not proud of the fact that I have let myself go. I want to wear the clothing in my closet without wondering if it is hugging every roll of fat on my body. I want to button my pants effortlessly and I'd really like it if those pants were the size 12s currently hanging in my closet that haven't been worn in over 2 years.
Yesterday started "Day One" of my September weight-loss program. Andrea introduced me to a website called myfitnesspal.com so I'm logging the food I eat during the day, at least during work hours. I'm trying to cut my drinking waaaaaay back this month so my goal is not to crack a beer or pour a glass of wine until 7 pm. The key words there are "a beer" or "a glass." That's got to be my weekly goal so I can avoid drinking empty calories. I also need to avoid the candy dish at work at all costs. I'm picking water over soda for lunch. I'm being more cautious ordering off the menu.
It's got to be baby steps or I will fail and there is simply too much at risk to fail. I'm in my mid-30s. I'm a mother of a one-year old and I am planning on getting pregnant again real soon. I cannot and will not be a statistic or a stereotypical, overweight American. There is no excuse for me to weigh this much. Period.

MORAL OF THAT STORY: A picture is worth a thousand words.


fyrchk said...

I use myfitnesspal too. I'm down 25 lbs. I'll be your cheerleader if you'll be mine? First initial last name is my sign in. Find me, chick! I have found since signing up that I'm much more conscious of what I put in my mouth (that's what she said).

Andrea said...

I've lost weight quicker since joining that site than when I was working out hardcore with the 27 year old that was kicking my ass.

Coodence said...

Nice endorsement!

Just joined.

Sassy said...

I have to check this out...

there is nothing like seeing a picture of you to get a dose of reality. Sometimes I look at a picture and think "fuck me. That's not my ass is it?" Yes it is.

I sooo don't want to be the fat mom.

Sassy said...

You know what? I'm going to own something right now. I'm heavier then I was at 9 months pregnant. How sad is that?! How the fuck did that happen??