June was sort of a kick in the butt for my family. We moved so there was all that drama with the old landlords and fighting to get our deposit back. Then there was all the actual moving. Then my grandpa died the day we moved into his old house. When July came along, I asked it to be kind. Turns out, July doesn't want to play nice either. I won't go into too much detail but basically we're in debt again (though not nearly as bad as we were) and it looks like we're only going to get in deeper because my dog was diagnosed with cancer last night.
Kiyah is 10 years old but has only been "my dog" for 3 of those years. I inherited her after Husband and I got engaged and she came to live with me. She's not exactly young but she can run with the best of them and still acts like a puppy. She has a tumor behind her left arm that burst and so now it is just a big old bloody mess. I get to change her bandages and be her nurse. Tomorrow, she'll go in for a pricey surgery that may or may not get all the cancer out of her. Hopefully, this will be the end of it and she'll go on to live a few more good years.
I think under any other circumstances, I'd be more prone to putting her down than paying for this surgery solely based on money alone. I think losing my grandpa made me softer. Now, I think "Well, she still plays fetch like her life depends on it so ... " I guess I'm taking into consideration her quality of life. I know she has a few years left in her and it would be totally wrong of me to put her to sleep when she's in otherwise good condition. Her blood work came back good and she's in good shape, it's just this goddamn tumor.
I'm not one of those animal lovers that calls her dog her baby. My son is my baby. The dog is a dog. I feed her, give her water and make sure she has shelter and is groomed frequently. She does very little to repay me aside from ruin my stuff (sort of like my son and my husband only in furry form). I love her, don't get me wrong, but she is a dog. We take walks together and we play and snuggle, but she's still JUST A PET. However, I would be and will be sad when she is no longer part of our family.
I'm not sure where I am going with this post other than thinking aloud that this big ass doozy of a cancer diagnosis had better be all the fun July has left up its sleeve or I'm going to be pissed.
Say a prayer for my dog.
MORAL OF THAT STORY: You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a person with pets. ~Nora Ephron