5.11.2011

Zaftig

My name is Randi and I'm overweight. I was overweight before I got married and I've been overweight ever since. I swore (almost 2 years ago now) that it would be fine if I bought the too-tight wedding dress because I would lose weight before the big day. Lo, the big day was weeks away and a panel needed to be inserted because I had not lost the weight I swore I would. It's fine. I've never felt sad while looking at my wedding pictures thinking "I should have lost that weight." I felt like a beautiful fairy princess right out of a Disney movie even if I weighed more than I have ever weighed in my life at 190 pounds.

Shortly after I got married in May of 2009, I decided I wanted to try to get pregnant. Mind you, we had been in our "honeymoon" phase so I weighed about 20 pounds more than on my wedding day. I got off birth control in August 23, 2009 and, at that time, I was hell bent on losing some weight before I conceived. Well, I conceived in October and found out I was pregnant in November despite being under the impression it would take me a year or more to actually get pregnant. Silly, Randi. That picture shows me at about 210.

Thanks to the good people at "Morning Sickness," I didn't really gain too much weight while I was pregnant with Casey. I lost about 10 pounds in the first trimester because I couldn't stop throwing up. Water, saltine crackers, apple juice, bananas - you name it, I booted it up. By the time I had him, I think I weighed 225 pounds. I have never seen my face look so rotund. And those upper arms are nothing to ignore.

After Casey was born, I dropped about 25 pounds in the first three months. I guess breastfeeding deserves that credit because I certainly wasn't dieting or exercising. For a hot second I dropped under the 200 pound mark but then I reconnected with office candy and quick lunches when maternity leave was over and I had to go back to work. Here I am today weighing about 205 pounds and still rocking some fierce upper arm fat.

As some of you know, Crusty is getting married on October 1st and wants me to be her Matron of Honor. Matron just sounds obese, doesn't it? Well I'm going to try to not be a heifer so that I don't ruin her wedding pictures. She gave me permission to wear the dress I'm wearing in the photo below, taken in September of 2008 - with the soon to be betrothed couple down on the left corner of it. I think I was around 180ish in that picture so it's my goal to lose 20 pounds in just under 5 months but frankly I'd be happy if I lost 10.

So far I don't have much of a strategy other than eating a wholesome breakfast; brushing my teeth and/or chewing minty gum in lieu of the candy drawer; cutting back from 2 beers a weeknight to just 1; trying to get a little more physical activity in; and not overeating at dinner time. I guess that and more water. Maybe a salad here and there although I swear if I see another salad I will cut someone. Any tips for me?

MORAL OF THAT STORY: I am the one who got myself fat, who did all the eating. So I had to take full responsibility for it. ~ Kirstie Alley (Former Fat Actress, Current sorta svelte Dancing Star)

5 comments:

Coodence said...

matron just sounds obese.

LOL

Andrea said...

I just typed a lot of words and then they were lost. If it happens again, you get no tips from me. So there.

Here we go, again...

1. Stop saying things like "ruin your pictures" just by virtue of you being in them. That's ridiculous.

2. If you're not attempting to lose weight because YOU really want to and instead it's just what you think others want you to do or should do, it'll never work. At least it never has for me. When I was married to a guy that wouldn't sex me up if I was "too heavy," weight loss just didn't really happen easily. Because I wasn't doing it for myself. Once I only had myself to please? Weight came off like "woah!" So, do it for you or you're gonna be miserable.

3. If you're still walking K-dog, mix up the routine. Don't do the same exact walk every time. Shake it up. Increase the distance and speed.

4. Find an activity that you enjoy and then do that. Exercising is way more fun when it doesn't feel like a chore.

5. Do not deprive yourself of things you enjoy. Just eat less of them. I don't deny myself a thing. If I want an Oreo, I eat a damned Oreo.

6. Do not feel guilty or beat yourself up.

7. You are a pretty, pretty princess.

Christine said...

Dear Randi,
I love you just the way you are. There is no way that your smiling face would "ruin" one picture at my wedding. You mean the world to me and it has nothing to do with how you look, my dear!
If you are unhappy with your health, or want to make a change, good on ya! But do it for you, and you alone, and not to look good in pictures, or any other reason. In all reality, you've got to find what you like, something you enjoy (and something preferably with a babysitter). The YMCA is usually a good place to start. Me personally? I signed up for a 5K race, and I just wanted to finish it. I started by running to end of my block and back home, and pretty soon, I could run a little farther each day. And then I went a whole 5K, terrified and shaking, but I had a lot of fun and I was hooked.
Exercise should be "you" time, as much as it can be. And I know you could use some "you" time, with a baby and a house, etc. Enjoy it, look forward to it...its a great stress release!
xoxo

Coodence said...

sorry i didnt have any tips, ho. just laft at your joke.

tip from me? it takes a long time to lose 10 pounds so take your time. slow and steady wins the race.

werd.

April said...

The one time I wanted to lose weight, I started snorting meth. Took the weight off in no time! The other time I lost a bunch of weight, I had gotten into a car accident and was on a bunch of pain pills that made me sleep and puke up any food that I ate. So, if you want, I can hook you up with my old meth dealer or cut your brake lines for you?

LOL!

OK, in all seriousness, I'm not going to say what the other ladies have said (even though I agree with them) and I'll just give you some tips, because that's what you asked for.

SUGAR AND MOTHERFUCKING CARBS! Honestly, if you can cut back on those in any way, the weight will come off. I do not know a single person who didn't lose weight when they cut down on carbs. But that shit is hard, yo! If YOU really want to shed those 20 pounds, I'm sure that will work.

Also, a friend of mine is taking Healthy Trim and that has worked for her really, really well. She loves it and says it doesn't make her feel all jittery or crazy.

Either way, I think you're beautiful!