Casey Tuesday

Casey is 40 weeks old today and it is the 2nd week of his 9th month. I'm pretty sure he understands Spanish better than English so I have been speaking to him in Spanish a lot more lately. I used to babysit for a rabbi and he would only speak Hebrew and the wife would only speak English to get the kids used to two languages. I just think he listens to Maria better than he listens to me so Spanish it is. She's convinced he says agua when he's thirsty and I've heard him make that very sound so who knows. My little blanco baby.
His top two teeth are coming in and the two on the bottom are very visible. And sharp. Sharp enough so that he can now eat Pepperidge Farms Goldfish crackers. On Sunday, we went to a party with 2-year old twins, a five-month old, an almost 2-year old and a little girl born 5 hours before Casey. He seems to be quite a bit more advanced than she was on many levels. All the other mommies and daddies seemed very impressed with how much grown-up food Casey was eating and how quickly he could get around crawling. I had to admit, that felt good. I felt like a proud mama. Plus, having not really been around other babies much, he really got along well with all of them. I can't wait for more gatherings like that. Super cute.
Not super cute? Last night Kiyah barked at Casey as he was crawling toward her. He was about 6 inches away and she yapped at him. He sat back and got a sad face because his friend was mad at him. I swear to the Lord Jesus Christ Our Savior if that dog ever touches my son with her teeth, she will die by my hand. Amen.


Last Haiku Friday of May

Garage sale weekend
The painters? Wrapping it up.
Lay tile Saturday
No Casey Monday
Working on the house all day
Prep for the carpet
Trip to Michigan
Then it's time to pack it up
And get to moving

Happy Memorial Day! Don't drink & drive. And don't forget to remember the men and women who have died serving our country.


Good, Bad & Ugly

The Good
  • 3-day weekend
  • Pay day
  • Painters are working hard
The Bad
  • Yard sale on Saturday & Sunday
  • Housework on Monday
  • The 2 bullet points above canceling out the 1st "Good" bullet point.
The Ugly
  • The bruises and scrapes Casey's acquiring thanks to crawling
  • His new found stubbornness and tantrums with real tears
  • My attitude


To Do List - Home Makeover Edition

  • Have painters finish up
  • Yard sale to empty garage
  • Lay tile
  • Install new floor board
  • Lay carpet
  • Change doorknobs
  • Change light switches/electrical outlets
  • Install door stoppers
  • Baby proof everything
  • Buy lighting for bedroom, bar and living room
  • Buy window covering for several rooms
  • Buy bathroom hardware
  • Clean the house
  • Pack up
  • Move
  • Clean the apartment
  • Unpack
In the meantime, I'm a single mom 5 out of 7 days a week for the most part. We are going to Michigan for several days. We are running out of money. Scratch that. We are out of money.

MORAL OF THAT STORY: Being a homeowner is costly both in time and money.


9 Months Old!

Casey is 39 weeks old today and it is the 1st week of his 9th month. I think it's super neat that he's 9 months old on Casey Tuesday. Born on a Tuesday, too. He's crawling and moving all the time now. He seems to know exactly where he shouldn't be and heads there with such determination it is astounding. Also, the separation anxiety has begun. If I leave the room for a second he either crawls after me like a crazy person or starts crying real tears. Lately he's begun to loathe the bottle. He eats like a horse when it comes to "real food" though. He loves macaroni and cheese and graham crackers... or really just anything I'm eating. I was surprised yesterday when I gave him some of my red beans and rice because it was a little bit spicy but he ate it up! Getting ready in the morning used to be a breeze because I'd just sit him in his crib and he'd play quietly. Now he stands up, holding the rails, and just cries out for me the entire time. Either that or he beats the hell out of the mini blinds. He has also learned this Grecian wrestling roll that severely inhibits my ability to put a diaper on him. The diaper change for him is the equivalent of a torture chamber apparently. It upset him so much last night that he bit down on whatever toy he had and ripped at it like a bulldog until he was inconsolably crying. It was a sight. Casey also attended his first Strawberry Festival over the weekend. Strollers + Crowded Festival + Baby who can't sit still = Nonsense. It definitely made me rethink taking him to his 1st Dodger Game and it most certainly has me ruing the 1st 5-hour flight to Michigan which is creeping up like a cheap pair of panties.

LAST MINUTE EDIT: Here are his JC Penney portraits. Proceed with caution.


127 Hours

After about two weeks of sitting near my DVD player, 127 Hours finally made it in yesterday. It's hard to do Netflix when you've developed an addiction for Breaking Bad and your DVR is full of episodes you need to catch up on. The thing those two have in common is a desert setting and that's about it. The TV show and the movie, that is. Man. Mondays are hard.
Anyway, this is the movie where the dude cuts his arm off. I was interested in seeing it because it's one dude trapped in a crevice for 5 days, how were they going to make it a movie? Well they did. Mostly it is James Franco trying to pry his arm loose from a huge boulder and hallucinating, day dreaming, and reminiscing all the while. Danny Boyle is not afraid to make a gritty movie and if you've seen Trainspotting or Slumdog Millionaire, you will see a lot of the same shocking cinematography. It's like it's a music video turned feature length film and chances are good you will encounter some bodily fluids or excretions.
I don't know if I loved this movie but it was definitely worth a watch. The idea that this is a true event that actually happened to someone is a trip. Imagine being your most exhausted, your most tired, or your most in pain. That's NOTHING. The human body can handle and survive so much more! Incredible. Too bad I can't really see James Franco as anyone but James Franco. Or maybe James Dean.


Homeowner Haiku Friday

Words like "contractor"
"Termite inspection" and "bids"
Are commonplace now
Handing over cash
To someone who can do what
I cannot do well
Watching "Grandma's House"
Gradually morph into
What will be "Our House"


Book Review

All I wanted for my birthday (there's that word again!) was Bossypants by Tina Fey. I told Husband to get it for me but BFF beat him to the punch. This is the sort of book you want to devour yet you also want it to last forever. It's more than worthy of a re-read. I started reading it this past weekend after a couple of beers and I was breathless from laughing so hard. Husband asked, "Really, Randi? Every third paragraph?" Since I was on the verge of peeing my pants anyway, I told him to give it a look while I was on the potty. Sure enough, he was cracking up, too. I used to religiously watch SNL with Crusty when we were kids; it definitely influenced my sense of humor and produced some of my favorite comedians to this day. 30 Rock is beyond brilliant and I've been hooked since the beginning. Basically, Tina Fey is my idol. She's not only insanely intelligent, she's hilarious and beautiful as well. I think what I like best about her is that she's so real. It's clear she had a ridiculously awkward adolescence and blossomed into this amazing woman but she seems ambivalent to how awesome she is. I simply can't say enough good things about the woman or her book. If you don't read it, it is truly your loss.



DISCLAIMER: I like to keep talking about my birthday even though it's totally over. It's my blog and I can write about whatever I want on it so there!

Husband had to work on my birthday because it was a Thursday. So did I but I convinced him to take Friday off so he could at least be home on Thursday night to give me a birthday kiss before I went to sleep. Also, I took Friday off too so we could work on the house together. It just so happened that on Thursday at noon, my mom was over at the house and noticed there was a leak in the laundry room. She summoned me to shut the water off at the house because she didn't know how but I also had no idea how so I used my womanly wiles and made a few phone calls to my brother and the handyman at my building. By following their sage advice, I was able to shut the water off. Believe you me, this made me feel very manly. I even lifted the metal door off that concrete thing in the front yard where big fat ugly spiders lived and didn't even freak out. I wanted a detachable penis for a moment like this (cue American Idol music).
Of course, I called Husband to brag about how dope I was and let him know of the damage to our wee home that we don't even live in yet are totally responsible for. Then, I went about my business and returned to work to partake in the giant cookie awaiting. About four hours later when I got off work, I called Husband to check and see where he was in respect to being home. He said he was stopped so I assumed that meant he was at his halfway point at the Starbucks in L.A. where he takes his usual break. He asked me if I could check to make sure the water really was shut off because he was freaking out about it.
Let me just say, Husband has neuroses about stuff like this. I was on my way home with the baby for a quick break before we had to hustle to dinner with my family for my birthday festivities. On top of that, I still needed to go to the bank. I didn't much feel like going to the house to check on the damn water that I knew damn well I had shut off. I told Husband I would but really thought about not going and just telling him I did because I am a pain in the ass and frankly so are his neuroses.
Well, it's a good thing I made the stop at the house because as I turned the corner, there was Husband in the driveway waiting for me. I wish I could pretend I played it cool and nonchalantly said "Glad you could make it for dinner, Babe." In real life, I threw the car in neutral and pulled up the parking break, engine still running, baby still inside, ran up the driveway and leaped into his arms for the biggest birthday kiss I could muster. There is nothing better than when Husband is home.

MORAL OF THAT STORY: Even though we didn't say so in our vows, I totally "obey" my husband. Sometimes, it's even rewarding.


Casey Tuesday

Casey is 38 weeks old today and it is the 4th week of his 8th month. The gigantic milestone for this post is him finally crawling on my birthday last Thursday. We put him on the floor like we usually do after we got home from dinner and the next thing you know he was on his hands and knees and moving across the living room. Husband said, "So he crawls now?" to which I replied "It seems that way." Very cool of him to give me a present on my birthday. Now that he crawls, he wants nothing more than to be in our dog's business. Kiyah doesn't know what to do with him so she usually resorts to obsessive licking and retreating to her bed. This can only get more interesting. Apparently crawling also wears him the eff out because last night he was sleeping so soundly I actually resorted to poking him to reassure myself he was still alive.
I don't know if I mentioned this last post but he loves his penis now. It's the best thing ever especially during diaper changes. His hand immediately makes a beeline to his weenie and he smiles and pulls on it and it's just the best thing since sliced bread. This morning, I was running pretty late for work so naturally Casey decided it was time to poop. I figure it will be like the usual rock hard turds of late but no. It's everywhere, perhaps the result of his first encounter with mac and cheese out of the blue box? Naturally, it's covering his manhood as well but Casey doesn't mind. Down goes the hand immediately, right onto the poopy penis. Good times. I think I went through no less than a dozen wipies and naturally that is the very moment we run out of Diaper Genie bags. I am READY for what today will throw my way!


Haiku Friday On A Monday

I took Friday off
Tried taking down wallpaper
That shit is hard, yo!
Husband surprised me
By coming home early on
My birthday Thursday
Got some real nice gifts
But the best gift of them all?
Seeing Casey crawl


TGTBTU-Birthday Edition

The Good
  • It's my birthday
  • Facebook wishes
  • No line at Starbucks this morning
  • Husband coming home tonight instead of tomorrow
  • The giant Mrs. Fields cookie I'll get later
  • Presents
The Bad
  • 34 sounds old
  • I have to be at work instead of on a toasty beach someplace being massaged by an oily beau hunk whilst sipping on champagne cocktails
The Ugly
  • Being awake with an anxiety attack for no reason at all last night from like 11:45 til 1 a.m. Is it because I'm now a MOTHER and a WIFE and ELDERLY? Haha



My name is Randi and I'm overweight. I was overweight before I got married and I've been overweight ever since. I swore (almost 2 years ago now) that it would be fine if I bought the too-tight wedding dress because I would lose weight before the big day. Lo, the big day was weeks away and a panel needed to be inserted because I had not lost the weight I swore I would. It's fine. I've never felt sad while looking at my wedding pictures thinking "I should have lost that weight." I felt like a beautiful fairy princess right out of a Disney movie even if I weighed more than I have ever weighed in my life at 190 pounds.

Shortly after I got married in May of 2009, I decided I wanted to try to get pregnant. Mind you, we had been in our "honeymoon" phase so I weighed about 20 pounds more than on my wedding day. I got off birth control in August 23, 2009 and, at that time, I was hell bent on losing some weight before I conceived. Well, I conceived in October and found out I was pregnant in November despite being under the impression it would take me a year or more to actually get pregnant. Silly, Randi. That picture shows me at about 210.

Thanks to the good people at "Morning Sickness," I didn't really gain too much weight while I was pregnant with Casey. I lost about 10 pounds in the first trimester because I couldn't stop throwing up. Water, saltine crackers, apple juice, bananas - you name it, I booted it up. By the time I had him, I think I weighed 225 pounds. I have never seen my face look so rotund. And those upper arms are nothing to ignore.

After Casey was born, I dropped about 25 pounds in the first three months. I guess breastfeeding deserves that credit because I certainly wasn't dieting or exercising. For a hot second I dropped under the 200 pound mark but then I reconnected with office candy and quick lunches when maternity leave was over and I had to go back to work. Here I am today weighing about 205 pounds and still rocking some fierce upper arm fat.

As some of you know, Crusty is getting married on October 1st and wants me to be her Matron of Honor. Matron just sounds obese, doesn't it? Well I'm going to try to not be a heifer so that I don't ruin her wedding pictures. She gave me permission to wear the dress I'm wearing in the photo below, taken in September of 2008 - with the soon to be betrothed couple down on the left corner of it. I think I was around 180ish in that picture so it's my goal to lose 20 pounds in just under 5 months but frankly I'd be happy if I lost 10.

So far I don't have much of a strategy other than eating a wholesome breakfast; brushing my teeth and/or chewing minty gum in lieu of the candy drawer; cutting back from 2 beers a weeknight to just 1; trying to get a little more physical activity in; and not overeating at dinner time. I guess that and more water. Maybe a salad here and there although I swear if I see another salad I will cut someone. Any tips for me?

MORAL OF THAT STORY: I am the one who got myself fat, who did all the eating. So I had to take full responsibility for it. ~ Kirstie Alley (Former Fat Actress, Current sorta svelte Dancing Star)


Casey Tuesday

Casey is 37 weeks old today and it is the 3rd week of his 8th month. He got his 2nd haircut on Saturday morning. I know I get a lot of shit for that because his hair is so glorious but I can't have that glory blinding my child when his curls invade his beautiful blue eyes. Plus the back of his hair was all nappy after having rubbed it back and forth on the floor or the mattress and whatnot. Now? Look at the tightness of those curls! And? He looks like a wee boy. Teehee. I love him so much I want to bite his face. Casey is thisclose to crawling and can now really get places by scooting across the floor on his butt. He's getting a 2nd tooth on the bottom and a top front tooth is pretty close to breaking the surface. I guess he's going from none to all as fast as he can. When we were lying in bed over the weekend, Casey was obsessed with trying to pull off Husband's nipple. That was pretty hilarious. He also discovered hair pulling and thinks it is just so funny when he yanks my hair and I whip my head around to tell him "no" or "ow." My little devil. He also finds it quite entertaining when I sing this song to him. Papa Oom Mow Mow, indeed. Over and over and over and over.


Going The Distance

I have had this movie sitting on my shelf from Netflix for going on three weeks now. All I wanted for Mother's Day was to be able to watch it. Rom-Coms are pretty much only acceptable to me when they involve some grown-up humor or Drew Barrymore. God I love me some Drew. And after watching this I totally want her and Justin Long back together in real life. Their chemistry is palpable and they are both just sofa king cute. This is a fun story about two New Yorkers who fall in love in the six-weeks before she has to leave for California for school. They try to have a long-distance relationship across country and of course there is a happily ever after. I really want to watch this movie over and over again. I laughed quite a bit. Christina Applegate should do more comedies. She's fantastic as Drew's sister. Long's buddies are a couple of foul-mouthed loser types and they were hysterical. Plus it was set in New York and San Francisco - two of my most favorite places. Even Husband enjoyed this one because it wasn't cheesy and it just seemed real. The dialogue is very adult and so are the scenarios. I give this one two thumbs up.


LAFTER Haiku Friday

So very menstrual
The women in my family
Are driving me nuts
Gran always needs things
Acts like she's such a victim
Always has it worst
And then there's my mom
Always wants to supervise
Not so quick to help



The Good
  • It's Cinco de Mayo so that means 1 week til my birthday!
  • Husband surprised me by coming home a day early!
  • We have no obligations this weekend other than Mother's Day brunch!
The Bad
  • I suppose this is good too but Casey is getting his 2nd tooth and that means a fussy baby who is having a hard time getting a good night's sleep and is taking me down with him.
  • It's my time of the month.
  • I have to go for a blood panel tomorrow but I didn't diet like I said I would so I'm probably gonna get in trouble with my doctor.
The Ugly
  • Our "new house" is still a shambles. Lots of dust and trash to be cleared away.
  • Probably my cholesterol.
  • Carpal Tunnel thanks to Bejeweled Blitz? Maybe.


Numbers for May

  • German Bub leaves on Cinco de Mayo after a 6-day visit.
  • Sunday is my 1st Mother's day.
  • My 34th birthday is in 8 days which is May 12th.
  • 1st Dodger game of the season (a.k.a. my birthday game) is on the 14th
  • We'll be having a yard sale on the 21st and 22nd
  • The 28th Annual California Strawberry Festival is also that weekend.
  • Our 2-year wedding anniversary is on the 23rd.
  • We may be bringing Capood to his 1st Dodger game on the 29th thanks to Husband getting 2 free tickets for being a veteran!
  • Husband and I have the day off for Memorial Day on the 30th so we'll be having one big date day while Capood is at the babysitter's house!
MORAL OF THAT STORY: Always gotta keep busy or the voices start telling me to do wild things ~ Steve Brown


Casey Tuesday

Casey is 36 weeks old today and it is the 2nd week of his 8th month. He is non-stop now. In order to get him to take a nap, he must be surrounded by pillows and restrained, then lulled to sleep by a repetitive chanting of the ABC song. All he wants to do is move and babble. He has definitely found his volume and makes frequent use of it. If there is anything within his grasp that he shouldn't have, you can bet money that his hand will find it even though his eyes are not looking at it. He has mastered the innocent face but behind those eyes it's all naughty thoughts. He knows how to make a pfft sound with his mouth and put that skill to use on my tummy this morning. That was a sight. Right now his great uncle Bubbo is visiting from Germany. Last time Bubbo saw Casey was two weeks after he was born. It's funny to watch Casey figure out how he feels about Bubbo. It takes him quite a while to warm up and mostly he just stares at Bubbo like he's wondering who on earth he is and how strange he must be. By the end of the visit, Bub has managed to get a few smiles and a giggle but those rewards are not easily come by.