Movie Review Monday

Every now and then, Husband gets to pick a movie and we go and see it. Every now and then, that movie generally sucks. So was the case with MacGruber. Okay, maybe "sucks' is a harsh word but this movie was definitely not good. We laughed, sure, but it was essentially a one-trick pony as are the majority of the Saturday Night Live skits that make the transition to feature film length.
I really believe that Kristen Wiig is capable of making anything funny and she's slowly becoming one of my comedic heroes. I was surprised to see Ryan Phillippe and Val Kilmer in the roles they played here but they were surprisingly good and quite funny considering the material they were given to work with. I haven't been hip to SNL in some time so Will Forte is pretty much a mystery to me aside from his roles on 30 Rock but he's super funny. I just don't think the character of MacGruber needs to be on screen for an extended period of time.
We saw this so you don't have to.


Memorial Day Weekend Haiku Friday

A busy weekend
An out of town Bar Mitzvah
And then Anaheim
Get to see some friends
And then stay in a hotel
Exciting stuff, y'all
But I swear to God
If one more person says "HUGE"
I'ma cut they ass



I don't want to turn this blog into a pregnant blog but whatever. I'm pregnant and this is what is going on in my life so here it is. Over the weekend I was working in the yard, just pulling a random weed here and there, nothing big. I drank a Gatorade and some water, wore a hat. Took it pretty easy really but it was warm. When I went inside to get the laundry out of the dryer, I was overcome with a shaky, dizzy feeling and pretty much slumped to the ground. When I was feeling a bit more stable, I moved it to the couch and there I took a nap. Whatever.
Only yesterday, the same thing happened again. I had a couple wee bowls of cereal and a cheese stick before lunch but for some reason, after a quick walk (less than a block) to my bank, I was dizzy and shaky and felt like utter crap. I proceeded to lunch where I ate my weight in Mu Shu Pork and drank about a gallon of ice water. I felt better but after some coaxing I decided to call the doctor. Naturally, he wanted me to come in.
After a quick visit, we determined that things were fine. My blood pressure was good. The baby's heart was beating. All was well. Basically, I just need to eat small portions more frequently. It could be my blood sugar or it could be my mild anemia. I was so weepy the whole time because I felt so embarrassed. I wasn't bleeding or wounded, just dizzy, and there I was taking up the doctor's time. Mostly though, it's because I try super hard to be a good pregnant lady with what I eat and what I do and somehow I felt like this dizziness was me failing the baby somehow. But the good doctor was super reassuring and said that was what he was there for and this was only affecting me, not the baby.

MORAL OF THAT STORY: Pregnancy is scary sometimes.


Tummy Tuesday

While watching a program on TLC called The World's Fattest Man (or something very similar) I heard the British doctor call the belly button a tummy button and I can't go back now. On the topic of tummy buttons, mine is slowly becoming an outie, something I never saw happening as once upon a time it was a deep innie. Husband took a look at it over the weekend and commented that the "pond was lookin' pretty shallow." That made me laugh so I'm telling everyone.
This is the last week of my second trimester and today I am officially three months away from my due date. That's pretty incredible to me. I'm feeling bigger and more uncomfortable than ever yet I know that the future holds only bigger things. I'll save the better until I know more. Heartburn is becoming more common place and so are leg cramps. I tried to do yard work and laundry like I normally do and almost passed out. Ch-ch-ch-changes indeed.
Last week's doctor appointment went ok I guess. My blood pressure was a bit high (100/80?) but I wonder if that's to be expected when I speed over to the doctor's office after a full day of work and an afternoon ice cream treat. I guess I better keep an eye on that. The nurse practitioner measured my belly and I was 26 (cm?) which is exactly where I should be at this stage of my pregnancy. That was comforting after the masseuse's tirade.

Here's what babycenter.com says about 27 weeks:
This week, your baby weighs almost 2 pounds (like a head of a cauliflower) and is about 14-1/2 inches long with his legs extended. He's sleeping and waking at regular intervals, opening and closing his eyes, and perhaps even sucking his fingers. With more brain tissue developing, your baby's brain is very active now. While his lungs are still immature, they would be capable of functioning — with a lot of medical help — if he were to be born now. Chalk up any tiny rhythmic movements you may be feeling to a case of baby hiccups, which may be common from now on. Each episode usually lasts only a few moments, and they don't bother him, so just relax and enjoy the tickle.


Book Review Monday

A while back my Gran's friend gave her Diary of a Mad Mom-To-Be and she read it and thought it was super funny so she gave it to me to read. I was busy with school and sort of shelved it but figured since Gran gave it to me I should probably read it. And read it I did. This book follows a "professional" New Yorker named Amy through her pregnancy in journal form. There were several parts of this book I could relate to (words like "huge" and references to gigantic underwear) and I thought it was a pretty accurate description of what I too have experienced being with child: morning sickness, the simultaneous comfort and terror that accompany books like What to Expect When You're Expecting, and how people relate to a pregnant woman in general. I am definitely not a fan of "chick-lit" by any means but I suppose this book was pretty enjoyable. I laughed at parts but I sort of felt like I could have written this book myself. Nothing new to see here.


Anniversary Haiku Friday

Sunday marks one year
Of wedded bliss with Husband
Time goes by so fast
Lots of sacrifice,
Compromise, meeting half-way
And time spent apart
Not always easy
Wouldn't trade it for the world
Being his Missus
The Fridays


Happy Humpday Indeed

Did you all know that my college graduation ceremony was last weekend? I didn't go because I didn't want to wake up early or spend $50 on a cap and gown when that money could go toward a mani/pedi. I also didn't want my pregnant ass to have to sit on a lawn chair for hours on end hearing a bunch of names I didn't recognize get called onto a stage. But I did have a taco party with some friends and family and got a lot of nice gifts and had a couple of near beers and a super good time. The whole time we were having said fiesta, though, I had a little voice in the back of my mind nagging me, saying "What if you didn't really pass?" I know it's silly, of course I passed, but it wasn't on the CSUCI website saying it for real so I didn't really know, you know? But last night I received an email from the professor who I was pretty much convinced hated me saying grades had been posted. And I totally spazzed out for a bit on my couch wondering if I could click that link alone. What if I didn't pass? What if I had to go back for another semester? WHAT IF!?!?! But I told myself, "Sack up, ho!" and I clicked the link and there it was: 84%. Just like my other class. Two B's. Two 84% grades to close out my final semester as a college GRADUATE with a 3.0 GPA for the semester. And I'm really done. Forever. And I'm really the first person in my family to graduate from college with a bachelors in anything. And now I can be that mom that has the leverage to say to her son, "Son, you have two options after high school: either join the Navy like your dad did or get a degree like your mom did." Holler.

MORAL OF THAT STORY: I really am a smarty pants and need to start acting like one.


Tummy Tuesday

On Friday I went for a massage after work. It's called a prenatal massage and is more expensive but really all I do is spoon a body pillow instead of lay on my tummy. I find it mildly hilarious when people ask me if there is a hole in the table where I plop my belly through. We were visualizing my belly being lowered into the hole Mission Impossible-style with me suspended with cables in the air. Anyway, back to the masseuse. I was just there maybe a little over a month ago for another massage. When she saw me she exclaimed, "Oh my! When are you due?!?!" August 25th. "Are you sure!?!?" Yes, ma'am. "Are you having twins?!?!" No ma'am, just the one. "Are you sure they got the due date right!?!? You're going to be HUGE!!!" Thanks. Just what every pregnant woman wants to hear. How HUGE she is. I am carrying any and all weight gain in my tummy thus it sticks out. From the back, still the same. The profile? Wow. What can I say. Husband and I are not tiny people, my brother weighed 12 pounds when he was born, I doubt mein bebeh will be petite. I know this little fella is strong though. His kicks are amazing and make me laugh like no other. I can say lately standing for extended periods of time make the ol' hips hurt a bit. Other than that, and this cold I'm trying to kick, things have been going real swell. I hope the doctor agrees with that when I go see him at 4 today.

Here's what babycenter.com says about 26 weeks:
The network of nerves in your baby's ears is better developed and more sensitive than before. He may now be able to hear both your voice and your partner's as you chat with each other (and the incessant F-bombs you drop!). He's inhaling and exhaling small amounts of amniotic fluid, which is essential for the development of his lungs. These so-called breathing movements are also good practice for when he's born and takes that first gulp of air. And he's continuing to put on baby fat (Just like his mama!). He now weighs about a pound and two-thirds and measures 14 inches (an English hothouse cucumber) from head to heel. If you're having a boy, his testicles are beginning to descend into his scrotum — a trip that will take about two to three days (I am wondering if this is the reason for the new pimples ALLOVERMYFACE!).


Movie Review Monday

Yesterday we watched Away We Go starring Maya Rudolph of SNL fame and Jim from The Office. Husband had read it is a good "pregnant movie" but I was just pleased to watch it because of the cast. It's a little bit "emo" as far as the soundtrack goes and the fact that everyone looks like a hipster but aside from that it's a nice little story about a pregnant couple trying to find out what to do with themselves. They're in their 30s and with the only set of grandparents (Catherine O'Hara & Jeff Daniels) relocating to another country, they're looking to relocate to be near someone they know so they can get those roots planted. On their cross country journey, they meet up with her former co-worker (Allison Janney, BFF!) who happens to be quite dysfunctional; her single sister; a dirty hippy, trust fund kid acquaintance of his father (Maggie Gyllenhaal) and a couple that seem to have everything but can't conceive a child of their own. I think their journey is meant to teach us that everyone has a different story and will raise their children differently and it's up to us to choose our own course. Or something like that. Mostly I just related to Maya Rudolph's character because she's 6 months pregnant but everyone keeps telling her she looks like she's 8 or how huge she is. I've learned, being 6 months pregnant myself, that people say some crazy shit to you when you're carrying a bambino around in your belly. I don't know if I recommend this movie per se, but it didn't kill me to watch it. I did weep at some parts, laughed pretty hard at others. So there you have it.


May Gray Haiku Friday

Fog rolled in early
Just in time for my party
Tacos tomorrow
Getting a massage
And a mani and pedi
Love to be pampered
Then on Sunday
The Strawberry Festival
For food, arts and crafts



For my first venture back into reading for "pleasure", I chose Precious: Based on the novel Push by Sapphire. For those of you that have been living in a cave for the past several months, this is also a movie which is about a young black girl in the 80s who is horribly abused - emotionally, physically, sexually - by her mother and father. At age 12 she gave birth to Little Mongo, a daughter with Down's Syndrome. At 16 she is pregnant with her second child by her father. She is illiterate and invisible and through a series of events ends up in an alternative learning program where she learns to read and write and tell her very own story of rebirth in her own words, under her own terms.
Many of you are probably wondering why I chose to read this. I bought it along with The Blind Side few months ago when it was on the 2-for-1 table at Border's and this was the shorter of the two books. It's turns out, this book is horribly upsetting and very hard to read. It is written phonetically in parts and the grammar is painful but aside from that who wants to read about incest? I learned that I do not, however, Sapphire seems very comfortable with writing about it. Frequently. In detail. I can't even say I walked away inspired after reading this book. Mostly, I just felt empty and sad. I can only imagine watching this movie but if the characters were this hard to read about, what must they have been like to portray as an actress? I shudder at the thought.


Happy Birthday To ME!

I am thirty-three today. This is my first and last birthday as a pregnant graduate. I have been sung to, called and showered with birthday messages and it is only 8:30 a.m. as I type this. The sun is shining, the boss is out of the office today and I don't have to go to class this afternoon as I have every Wednesday since as far back as I can remember. I came to work to find a huge balloon tethered to my desk, that huge cookie on the table in the break room and a pint of Ben & Jerry's Milk & Cookies in the freezer. I've received cards and gifts and honestly just feel more loved than I ever thought I could. Thank you if you somehow played a part in making my special day even more incredible. Also? Big birthday shout outs today to my sister-in-law's brother and my mother-in-law. May 12th is the BEST DAY to have a birthday.

And flowers at work from my husband!!!

MORAL OF THAT STORY: Happy birthday to ME! Happy birthday to ME! Happy birthday to RANDI! Happy Birthday to ME!


Tummy Tuesday

Fifteen weeks to go! That picture was taken on Mother's Day. I wasn't sure if being a fetus-carrier qualified me as a Mother but my family seems to think so. I got Jamba Juice gift certificates from Husband in the morning and then a gift certificate for a massage and a frame for the first year of baby pictures from my folks. So nice. Even my brother & his wife brought back a onesie from Sea World for my bun in the oven. Too cute. I think I like the cards the best though because they got me all weepy about becoming a Mom. All in all I just feel super spoiled and loved and the texts I got on Mother's Day made me smile.
Here's what babycenter.com says about 25 weeks:
Head to heels, your baby now measures about 13-1/2 inches. His weight — a pound and a half — isn't much more than an average rutabaga, but he's beginning to exchange his long, lean look for some baby fat. As he does, his wrinkled skin will begin to smooth out and he'll start to look more and more like a newborn. He's also growing more hair — and if you could see it, you'd now be able to discern its color and texture. (Dear God, if you're listening, please send me a curly headed baby. Amen.)


Movie Review Monday

On Saturday we went to see Iron Man 2. The only reason we didn't make opening night was because we were at Chavez Ravine for my first Dodger game of the season watching the boys in blue beat the Colorado Rockies. Had it been the other way around, we would have had to have watched the Dodgers lose on Saturday. No bueno. The movie, on the other hand? Real bueno. My fetus gives it two feet up because he was kicking the entire time. That is one loud movie, ladies and gentleman. While I don't think it lived up to the first installment, I enjoyed it nonetheless. Robert Downey Jr. is, simply put, an incredible actor. Scar-Jo wasn't really much more than eye candy but her one action scene BLEW MY MIND. She's so freakin' pretty, man. I still like Gwynnie as Pepper Potts. Jon Favreau is still wonderful as Happy. I think Don Cheadle is dope but really anyone could have played the part of Rhodey, it was a sort of thankless role. And Mickey Rourke? He has the most disgusting fingernails in all of show business but makes for a pretty unlikable villain alongside Sam Rockwell (who I will always associate with the bad guy/Drew's love interest in Charlie's Angels). We laughed, we cringed at loud robots clanging together as they fought to their deaths, we cried. No we didn't really cry. But we did really enjoy this movie... along with a few million other American's it would seem. On a sort of petty note, we totally stayed to the end of the rolling credits to see the next Marvel Movie teaser and it was not worth the wait. Thor. There. That's all you need to know. I just saved you 10 minutes of your life.


Lucky 7 Haiku Friday

Dodger game tonight
My first game of the season
I sure hope they win
Turned in my Capstone
31 pages total
Now that's a load off
Birthday's in FIVE days
Do you wanna buy me stuff?
Ain't too proud to beg


What I've Been Up To

  • I was super excited to get the Final Jeopardy! answer correct last night even though it was super easy Celebrity Jeopardy!
  • I have written approximately 27 pages for my Capstone. I think I have about three more in me and I get to turn that bitch in tomorrow.
  • Yesterday was my last official class as a university student. It was anticlimactic but satisfying. People be crazy if they think I'm doing a post-grad or a Ph.D. There. I said it.
  • There are SIX days left until I turn 33. I've been so busy counting down the birth of my son (16 weeks?) and graduation that I forgot about me!
  • Yesterday was the first "Moral of the Story" Humpday that I've missed in a long while.
  • Husband took a test for City of Oxnard on Monday along with about 300 other people. We got word today it's a no-go. We just need to remember we are both fortunate to be employed even though we don't live together.
  • Don't forget, everyone: Sunday is Mother's Day. My last one where I won't be a mother. Crazy.


Tummy Tuesday

I went for my gestational diabetes test on Friday. While it wasn't the most fun thing I've ever done, I can't say it was the worst. I had to fast, get blood drawn, drink a softball-sized bottle of what is essentially hummingbird food (a.k.a. sugar water), wait an hour and get another blood draw. I will say that by the time I left I was STARVING but that's just pregnant I guess. I haven't heard anything back so I am assuming no news is good news.
I find myself becoming more and more clumsy. I throw just about everything I touch across the room which is awesome. I'm also becoming mildly retarded. Example: Husband and I were watching The Patriot and I said "I wonder if Mark Gibson still talks with an Italian accent." That translates roughly to "I wonder if Mel Gibson still talks with an Australian accent." That's just one isolated incident but it happens a lot. I'm practically dyslexic when it comes to numbers now which is also awesome because I do receiving and billing for work and there are no numbers involved in that. Yeah right.
And finally, it would appear my son is a kick-boxer. He really moves around a lot. I totally saw my clothes moving the other day after he repeatedly bounced around in my tummy. Last night we had a bit of an emergency situation (no worries, everything is under control) and I was in full-on adrenaline mode. By the time things settled down, the baby was performing his aerobics routine in the bottom of my belly. I really like feeling him move but if he could avoid the back of my belly button that would be awesome, his dad already spends all his time pushing said belly button like it's going to dispense some amazing prize.

Here's what babycenter.com says about week 24:
Your baby's growing steadily, having gained about 4 ounces since last week. That puts him at just over a pound. Since he's almost a foot long (ear of corn), he cuts a pretty lean figure at this point, but his body is filling out proportionally and he'll soon start to plump up. His brain is also growing quickly now, and his taste buds are continuing to develop. His lungs are developing "branches" of the respiratory "tree" as well as cells that produce surfactant, a substance that will help his air sacs inflate once he hits the outside world. His skin is still thin and translucent, but that will start to change soon.

Author's Note: This is my 1,007th post here. That's just crazy.


New Vice

I love ice cream. I love cookies. Thus, I love Ben & Jerry's Milk & Cookies. I musn't get too attached though. I can't have a repeat of what happened to me after they took away Goodbye, Yellow Brickle Road. If you'll excuse me now, I'm off to weep in its memory.