Reality Check Haiku Friday

I'm graduating
In less than three months, I will
Be all done with school
Having a baby
In just about six more months
So far? Three due dates.
Will be a mother
With another mouth to feed
A whole new lifestyle



Did you all know that yesterday was National Pancake Day at the International House of Pancakes? I didn't either. Although how International is said House of Pancakes if it only operates out of the U.S., Canada, Mexico and Puerto Rico? Should it perhaps be called the North American Continental and Outlying Islands House of Pancakes? The NACOIHOP? Things to make you go "Hmmm..." on a hump day.
But back to the point of this story. On Monday night I started craving buttermilk pancakes. When Tuesday rolled around and my co-worker randomly planted her own seed about lunch at IHOP for free pancakes? I was all over that like white on rice! Stink on shit! You know the drill! I don't think I really put two and two together that it was National Pancake Celebration Day, mind you. I just wanted pancakes. And frankly I'm skeptical of all things "free."
And thus we went forth to order said pancakes. And they were eaten. And they were good. And I paid for said pancakes because the good people at IHOP were maybe not informed of the celebration they should have been celebrating and they charged me for the short stack. And I paid the bill. Then I left without thinking twice about it until later when another co-worker got all irate over me getting stiffed. Yet here I am, alive to tell the tale.

MORAL OF THAT STORY: I am not on welfare and can afford a short stack of pancakes regardless of their freedom on any given day.


Baby Talk Tuesday

I didn't feel like waiting 'til Thursday so you get updates now. Yesterday I went for the ultrasound and got to see the little being that's living in my belly! What an amazing thing to see. It suddenly all feels very real and exciting. At one point it raised its little fist up like it was either:
a.) waving
b.) saying "fight the power"
c.) singing into an invisible mic
So cute. It was really busy floating around and very active and its heartbeat was nice and strong. The doctor just kept saying how good everything looked but we have a 7-day wait to hear how the blood test went. Next ultrasound is on 4/2 - Good Friday! - and we get to find out if its a boy or a girl. Put an end to the mystery already.
As for me? It's been a week since I vomited though I did brush my tongue too hard this morning and dry heaved for about 5 minutes. Good times. I went from sleeping 12 hours a night to falling asleep early and waking up at unreasonable times and struggling with what can I only assume is insomnia at odd intervals of my sleep. I think I'll start setting the alarm for 6 a.m. again and walk the dumb dog. I used to be able to chug water out of a Nalgene bottle at my desk all day long but all of a sudden I can only drink out of a glass now. Something about the taste. I also get full really quickly on not a lot of food. I'm sure that will go out the window sooner or later though and the whole "eating for 2" will kick in. Apparently the baby bump is there because my sister-in-law commented on that yesterday.

Here's what babycenter.com says:
Fingerprints have formed on your baby's tiny fingertips, her veins and organs are clearly visible through her still-thin skin, and her body is starting to catch up with her head — which makes up just a third of her body size now (just like Crusty and I as toddlers!). If you're having a girl, she now has more than 2 million eggs in her ovaries. Your baby is almost 3 inches long (the size of a medium shrimp) and weighs nearly an ounce.


Ode To The Cat Haiku Friday

Are you that stupid?
The dog door goes out and in
So figure it out
I hear you meowing
Yet you run from me when I
Try to let you in
How 'bout you stay gone?
Let a coyote eat you
Try hissing at that


Fetal Update Thursday

First of all, BFF sent me this link and I really recommend it for a hilarious take on the joys of being with child. I wish I could be that funny but instead I just come across like a bitter ol' whiner.

I think at 12 weeks the morning sickness may be behind me (unless by typing that I just jinxed myself - someone quick, knock on wood). Husband and I went out for fish and chips on Monday and I think that maybe fried food is not my friend because that was the last time my head was in the toilet. I finally caved on Monday, too, and took a Zyrtec. I learned that while pregnant, the mucus membranes swell thus leading to complete loss of the use of my nostrils. I live in a primarily agricultural town with two pets and have learned allergy medicine is not a luxury but a necessity. Doc gave me the ok on the OTC Zyrtec and I couldn't be happier to have partial use of my nose again. I'm still sleeping about 11 hours a night but am being told a burst of energy is in my near future. That doesn't sound like me but I'll take it if it happens. Monday I go for my First Trimester Aneuploidy Screen to see if there is a risk for having a baby with Down's Syndrome. Can't wait to tell you all about that next Thursday.

Says babycenter.com:
The most dramatic development this week: reflexes. Your baby's fingers will soon begin to open and close, his toes will curl, his eye muscles will clench, and his mouth will make sucking movements. In fact, if you prod your abdomen, your baby will squirm in response, although you won't be able to feel it. His intestines, which have grown so fast that they protrude into the umbilical cord, will start to move into his abdominal cavity about now, and his kidneys will begin excreting urine into his bladder.
Meanwhile, nerve cells are multiplying rapidly, and in your baby's brain, synapses are forming furiously. His face looks unquestionably human: His eyes have moved from the sides to the front of his head, and his ears are right where they should be. From crown to rump, your baby-to-be is just over 2 inches long (about the size of a lime) and weighs half an ounce.


Our Timeline Haiku Friday

August oh seven
We meet face to face after
Blogs, emails and chats
April of oh eight
We fall in love at D'land
Make it official
May oh eight, engaged
May of oh nine, we got hitched
♥ Happy Valentine's ♥


Fetal Update Thursday

Since I feel I have been lacking blog fodder lately I thought I would use Thursdays as a fetal update forum. I am pregnant after all. I'm sure someone out there cares. I am currently approximately 11 weeks pregnant. I am feeling much better than last week and I have only vomited twice: once on Sunday and once yesterday. I've learned that taking vitamins at night and drinking Coca-Cola Classic in the morning seem to help with my morning sickness. Thanks to that morning sickness I have lost about 10 pounds so my maternity jeans are falling off me but my regular jeans can't button because of my swollen belly. I pretty much sleep from 9 pm to 6:30 am every night. Finding food that I want to eat has been rough so I stick mostly to bagels, fruit, soup and crackers but really could eat spinach dip constantly if it was available to me. One thing I can say about pregnancy is it is not making me feel super pretty but last night I got a haircut and my whole outlook on life has changed. They say a girl steals her mother's beauty so I'm kind of thinking I won't be having a boy but we won't know that for some time now.

This is what babycenter.com says:
Your baby, just over 1-1/2 inches long and about the size of a fig, is now almost fully formed. Her hands will soon open and close into fists, tiny tooth buds are beginning to appear under her gums, and some of her bones are beginning to harden.
She's already busy kicking and stretching, and her tiny movements are so effortless they look like water ballet. These movements will become more frequent as her body grows and becomes more developed and functional. You won't feel your baby's acrobatics for another month or two — nor will you notice the hiccupping that may be happening now that her diaphragm is forming.


All The Single Ladies!

He liked it and he put a ring on it. Unfortunately, his work keeps him away so I live the life of a single woman during the week. This has its pros and cons. Pro? I love time alone. Con? Sometimes things come up where it would just be easier if I could say to my man, "Babe, this is broke. Fix it." Such an occasion arose the other night when I turned the heat on and rather than warm air blowing out of the vents, I was getting a cool breeze. Which would be awesome if it was hot outside and I needed air conditioning but it just so happens to be a chilly winter month and I would have liked the warmth. But this is why God made blankets and heavy jammies so I sucked it up. Last night, though, it was like 60 degrees in the apartment and I decided to take matters into my own hands and relight the pilot in the heater. This was easier said than done as I have an ancient heater that resembles a jolly green giant. The dust surrounding it has to be years thick. So I followed the directions until it said "locate the pilot." Um... excuse me? There is no label saying "Pilot is here!" and there was no little hole like on the gas stove top. And you always hear these horror stories of gas explosions and what not so I didn't want to just wing it... but I did what the instruction panel said and followed the narrow metal tube from the doohickey to the thingamabob, stuck the lighter in there, sparked it and hoped for the best. Voila! A fiery inferno burst to life and I had heat that I rose from the ashes all by my lonesome. No help from Husband. No help from the Gas Co. No help from the landlord. Just me in my big girl pants.

MORAL OF THAT STORY: I am now the proud owner of an honorary penis.


TMI Tuesday - 7 Deadly Sins Edition

Questions are from here.

1. LUST: Besides your current Significant Other who do you lust for or have you lusted for?
I have many TV boyfriends that include but are not limited to: Mike Rowe, Agent Sealy Booth, Jim Halpern, Jack Donaghy and many, many more.

2. GLUTTONY: What food brings out your inner glutton?
I really have a thing for spinach dip it seems. Dip in general I can pretty much eat without stopping. That and beer. My God I miss beer.

3. GREED: What are you greedy for?
I am greedy for time with Husband. Like, it's all I think about during the week. How much I want him to live with me.

4. SLOTH: What is your plan for an ideal day of sloth?
Pajama-jammy-jam. All day in elastic waistbands, parked in front of the TV, under the marital quilt with snack food easily accessible.

5. WRATH: Describe a time that you let out a can of whoop ass on someone.
Oh-em-gee this happens almost every day. I have a bit of a temper and a lot of trouble holding it in. I'm honest to a fault and tend to let you have it if you deserve it.

6. ENVY: Who or what do you envy? Why?
I envy women that enjoy their pregnancy because so far it's been a pretty rough ride. I've lost about 12 pounds thanks to morning sickness, food tastes not so good and I'm in general an emotional disaster. A wee bit of a train wreck if you will.

7. PRIDE: Have you ever had to swallow your pride? What are you proud of?
I often have to admit that I don't know as much as I think I do. Right now I am proud of the fact that I haven't thrown up today.


Rainy Day Haiku Friday

It never rains in
Southern California, right?
That's what they tell me
But they are liars
It's raining like a bastard
Has been for hours now
And through tomorrow
Not on Superbowl Sunday
Let's just hope that's true



Yes. I finally gave in. And apparently, this series is all I'm blogging about lately. Does that make me a Twi-hard? God I hope not. I went in thinking I wouldn't like this movie but I kind of did. Kristen Stewart wasn't annoying as I thought she would be. She does make a lot of "what's that smell?" faces though. Then again, Robert Pattinson also seems to be in a lot of discomfort and/or pain throughout the movie too. Maybe that's the direction they were given. I just don't know. Taylor Lautner is only in a couple scenes but boy is he cute. I'll probably watch the next one just to see him all ripped up. Rawr. I totally think Edward is super good looking in a James Dean sort of way and BFF was right: he can DRIVE that Volvo. Haha. I can see now why folks were making fun of the sparkly vampire. Yeah... no. But it's a teenager movie and if I were a teenager once again, I would have totally loved it and have the poster hanging in my room and buttons on my purse and all that jazz.

MORAL OF THAT STORY: This film is rated PG-13 for some violence and a scene of sensuality. A scene. Singular.


Book Review Monday

I've completed the third of four books written by Stephenie Meyer about vegetarian, no-sex-havin' vampires, sexy werewolves and a whiny teenager named Bella. Ok, I'm being unfair. Truth is I'm having a hard time distinguishing Bella from the actress who plays her in the movies and I'm just over looking at Kristen Stewart in the gossip pages. Why won't she smile? She gets to kiss hot dudes and act for a living? Ugh. But I digress.
So. Eclipse. I bought this book for $5 so it was a steal. And it was entertaining. I just don't get how teenagers aren't trying to do the nasty a lot more than they are in these books. I mean, aside the fact that I think the author is Mormon. The way she describes Jacob the werewolf and Edward the vampire, you know there are some hormones a firin' and these are some good lookin' dudes. Then again, teens, just say "no" because abstinence and/or safe sex is a lot easier than being pregnant. Trust me. I know. Anyway. I am totally team Jacob. I'll take the hot-blooded, feisty rebel over the undead gentleman any day.
Here's my dilemma. I don't want to buy the fourth book in hardcover and I really don't do the library. And I don't know if I can really devote myself to reading Breaking Dawn right now. I keep wondering how this series is going to going to wrap up. Am I going to be disappointed? Does she get better at describing the fight scenes? Stuff like that. I guess if you have read it, drop me a line and let me know how you felt about it but no spoilers please. Thanks.