I Read A Book For Fun!

Today is the last day of Spring Break and I'm happy to say that I finished a book that was merely for my pleasure. I learned absolutely nothing from it, it wasn't required, I don't have to write a report. But I'm gonna! This is the third Kate Atkinson fiction book I have read and I am pretty convinced it will not be the last. I will definitely be picking up her other novels even though they do not star former soldier and police officer-cum-private detective, Jackson Brodie.
When Will There Be Good News consists of the same elements as her other two books that I have read. There are recurring characters and new ones, their stories intertwining in ways I could never see myself being clever enough to imagine. I love a good mystery! Atkinson somehow manages to write with such a British tone and I think it is probably one of the reasons I find her so charming. Her female characters are strong willed women and though they may be victims, they never come across as damsels in distress. And Jackson Brodie, well I always picture him as Dirty Jobs' Mike Rowe. And with that said? Let us bask in the glory that is that sexy man. Rawr.


Monsters vs Aliens

As if there were any doubt prior to now, it has been proven that I have the same sense of humor as a kindergartner. Buzz and I caught the non-3D Sunday matinee of Monsters vs Aliens after a hearty breakfast in downtown Oxnard. I have to admit, I purchased the ticket with a twinge of doubt - Entertainment Weekly, normally a valid source of critique, gave MvA a C. A C? Really? I'd been anticipating this movie for ages and that's what they're saying?
Luckily I didn't buy into that stupid C too much and just went in hoping to be entertained. I laughed. A lot. I got mad at Paul Rudd for voicing a jerk. I fell deeper in love with Seth Rogen thanks to his embodiment of B.O.B. And Stephen Colbert proved he is even more hilarious as an animated president than he is in flesh and blood. Who knew? And... who even thought it was possible to love America's Sweetheart Reese Witherspoon more? Her Susan/Ginormica realizing that she's strong with or without a man... well that's a lesson lots of girls need to learn.
I'm not sure what I missed as far as the 3D effects but I guess it's true that what you don't know won't hurt you. And Entertainment Weekly? I'm not exactly sure who shit in your critic's Cheerios but they need to lighten up and recognize a good cartoon when they see one.


56 Days Left Haiku Friday

Wasted too much time
Down to the nitty gritty

Yup, bridal boot camp


Got my game face on

I have my plans written down

Going underground
These are drastic times

That call for drastic measures



Happy Thoughts Thursday

  • Today is a new moon.
  • It is also "Make Up Your Own Holiday Day."
  • I get to see my nephew at lunch.
  • I don't have school until NEXT Wednesday.
  • I bought Buzz's wedding gift! And the gifts for our moms.
  • Monsters vs Aliens comes out this weekend not in 3D!
  • I'm making a game plan for actual weight loss prior to the wedding.
  • I get my haircut this weekend.
  • The laundry is done and the house is halfway clean.
  • Said wedding is only 57 days away...



On the way to Los Angeles this weekend, this song came on the radio. As is to be expected, there was nary a DJ to tell me who the hell sings it. I called my brother who seems to know every song I don't and even he was stumped. It was driving me a little crazy so I put my mind to it and set to Google-ing. You're never going to believe it, but I found that shit! Check it out.

Now I just need to find the damn CD for less than the $23.98 Amazon is selling it for...

MORAL OF THAT STORY: OCD - Makin' it work for me!



Yesterday was my grandparents' 84th birthday. Yes, they have the same birthday. Same anniversary, too. Crazy right? I put these pictures on flickr last night and this morning I was greeted with flickr mail in my inbox asking me to add this particular photo to a group specifically for pictures of grandparents. I thought that was really nice. Last night I brought Gran and Grandpa greasy tacos from one of our favorite local drive-in's Win's. When I told the guy behind the counter that it was their 84th birthday and all they wanted was dinner from his spot, he gladly kicked me down two free orders of fries in celebration. I don't know why I'm blogging this really. Maybe someday I will look back on this post and smile. Maybe it's because last night another patron at Win's started to chat it up with me about how much he still misses his mother who had passed away and how I should cherish every moment with my old folks. He reminded me how easy it is to complain about taking them places and going out of our way to visit but what we're not realizing is that life is short. I guess today I'm just appreciating the fact that my mom's folks are still around and as crazy as they may be, I'm glad to have them in my life.


Movie Review Monday

It sort of goes without saying that I love these guys. Probably the first time I saw Paul Rudd (Clueless of course!) I fell in love with him. On the flight home from Berlin I even watched a sort of awful movie he and Michelle Pfeiffer did just because he was in it. In case you care, it's called I Could Never Be Your Woman. It's an Amy Heckerling (Clueless again!) movie that has some of the same cast. Anyhoo... Let's keep this train of thought on the tracks shall we?
Jason Segel proved he is leading man material in Forgetting Sarah Marshall so I guess for this flick he wanted to give Rudd the same chance. Buzz mentioned he's not used to seeing Rudd in a starring role but he did a solid job in Role Models... I guess he's just better as the smart ass sidekick than he is as the lead in a romantic comedy.
This is not to say I didn't love I Love You, Man. There is an all star cast of comedy geniuses and they are all very good at what they do. While I can actually look at Rashida Jones now and not hate her for dating Jim, it was close to impossible to accept Jaime Pressly being someone other than Joy (Must See TV on NBC Thursdays much?). Jane Curtin? I want to be you when I grow up. I laughed a lot watching ILYM but I didn't laugh so hard that my lungs felt like they were going to explode. I wiped away nary a tear of hysterical laughter. I thought it was a lovely way to close out an awesome Saturday though. If I had to be an Entertainment Weekly reviewer - I'd give it a solid B.


I Gots Money Haiku Friday!

Tax refund arrived
Well the federal one did
Still waiting on state
Extra pay day too!
Save a little, pay some bills
Throw some cash around
And my phone rebate?
Fifty extra dollars, son!
Wannabe Visa


Happy Thoughts Thursday

  • 1:15 pm signals the beginning of Spring Break.
  • I will be able to read for pleasure.
  • Buzz comes home a day early.
  • Co-workers brought in pan dulce and I had a piece because it is foreign and bread and I don't consider it a dessert. BACK OFF!
  • I Love You, Man comes out tomorrow.
  • The laundry is done.
  • Tomorrow is the first day of spring.
  • I've been told I should expect my tax refund before Monday.
  • The wedding is 64 days away.
  • Yesterday marked 1 month without desserts & candy.



Nothing much to say today. Lately it's all been school, work and wedding.

MORAL OF THAT STORY: If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.


Happy St. Patrick's Day

I'd like to start today's post off with an anonymous quote that I got off my goofy ass desk calendar:
May your luck be like the capital of Ireland: Always Dublin
Wow. Thanks for that.
This is the first Saint Patrick's Day in as long as I can remember that I didn't have plans to go out drinking after work. I'm concerned about this.
When did I become a responsible adult?
Or is it that I lost all my drinking buddies?
Either way, it's a sad day for me. I almost wore this shirt today but it's too small now. And sort of inappropriate. It's hanging in the back of my apartment building on the dumpster if you want it.
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
I'll tell you someone who's not having the luck of the Irish today, my little buddy Ethan:
Poor Monkey Bear
This past weekend he broke his wee 2 year old leg whilst doing what little boys do, leaping through the air doing stunt devil moves. Send your happy thoughts his way, wontcha? And then? When you're done? Do a shot. Drink a green beer. Make out with a stranger. Just... do this for me. Please.


Movie Review Monday

Ok, so this movie has literally been in theaters for months now. I had the desire to see it the day it was released but somehow life got in the way, a movie hiatus happened and Buzz and I just didn't get there until yesterday. It was just us and two other dudes and boy did we laugh. I was unaware that this was a Happy Madison production but the cheesy humor and utter ridonkulousness is definitely there. A dance solo on a Segway? Check. A tramp stamp of the Loch Ness Monster? Check. The goofiest mall heist in movie history? Check. You probably won't walk away from Paul Blart Mall Cop any smarter but you'll definitely be exhausted from laughing. Kudos to you, Kevin James. You had me at Sweat The Small Stuff.

Remember that movie hiatus I mentioned above? Well Role Models was another hilarious flick that fell through the cracks. This one is out on DVD now and we just happened to buy it solely based on the fact that it stars Stifler and Rudd. Little did I know that McLovin' and the beautiful Elizabeth Banks as well as many other Apatow-associated cast members would make cameos! Hooray! I laughed so hard while watching the unrated version of this movie that after it was done I went straight to bed. There was nary an ounce of energy left. And just to prove to you how much I loved it? We watched it a second time yesterday. Role Models is not only hilarious and foul-mouthed, it also has the super special moral of the story conclusion. Who doesn't benefit from a good lesson learned? Part to look out for - when Ronnie tells Danny "Fuck you, Miss Daisy." Ell. Oh. Ell.


Friday the 13th Haiku Friday

Why won't the gubment
Give me my damn tax refund?
It has been three weeks
No plans this weekend
Can't believe I'm typing this
March is halfway gone
What a lame haiku
But I lack inspiration
School has sucked me dry


Happy Thoughts Thursday

Since this blog tends to run on the bitchy side I thought I'd try to sort of balance the negativity with some things that are currently making me happy:
  • 2 months til my 32nd birthday
  • 2 months til finals
  • 71 days til the wedding
  • 2 weeks without sweets
  • 3 days without beer
  • New Bones on TV tonight.
  • New The Office, too!
  • Was gifted a new pair of cool Ed Hardy sneakers
  • Purchased Bones Season 3 on DVD
  • I'm not pregnant.
Wanna try? Tell me a few things that make you happy in my comment box! WEE!


Tale of the Towel Rack

Once upon a time there was a big, strong prince and a round bottomed princess that lived together not far from the sea. One lovely morn, the two were romantically roughhousing in their not so spacious bathroom and managed to break the towel rack. It is to be believed that when the towel rack broke, it unleashed a vicious curse on the handsome prince. He was stricken with a spell that caused his skin to burst into flames. The princess believed with all her might that if the prince were to replace the damaged towel rack, the curse would be lifted and they could live happily ever after.
The following weekend the royal couple headed to their local Target to purchase a replacement towel rack hoping to break the spell that had been cast over their home. The princess was overly concerned with her love's well being and as he headed into the bathroom, she cautioned him not to cut himself whilst repairing the damage. It was as if she had cursed him herself because shortly thereafter she heard him exclaim a profanity. She ran to tend to her prince and found he had slain himself with a tool and he stood bleeding profusely in their home.
Being the fast thinking princess that she was, she whisked him away in her black chariot, Vehicular, and took him to the Urgent Care, the Emergency Room and finally, CVS Pharmacy. She aided him in tending to his wound and proceeded to care for him for the remainder of the weekend the best she knew how. Distressed, the princess worried relentlessly about the curse that refused to lift.
Finally, last night, the princess decided she herself would have to slay the dreaded towel rack herself if she was to save her prince. She armed herself with a red toolbox and a power tool and set to work. She had never before installed a towel rack but believed in her heart that she could. And so she worked her well rounded heiney off and fidgeted and tinkered until finally the towel rack was installed. Now, the princess waits to see if the curse has indeed been broken.

MORAL OF THAT STORY: I can do anything you can do better, I can do anything better than you. YES I CAN!


Detox - TMI Edition

On Sunday night Buzz cooked me an amazing dinner: steak, potato and cheese pancakes and the best garlic bread I have ever eaten in my life. I washed it down with some fruit punch Gatorade and went to sleep with a full and happy tummy. Little did I know he was trying to poison me. At three a.m. on Monday morning, the alarm went off for me to get my man out of bed and on his way back to the whale's vagina. Apparently, that same alarm set off something awful in my tummy. For the next twenty minutes, I evacuated everything in my body from both ends.
Pretty, huh?
I spent most of yesterday either sleeping or watching Bones Season 2 on the couch being hugged by the quilt that my mother-in-law-to-be made with her own wee hands. I rested. Didn't budge really from the horizontal position. All day in my jammies. It has been a long, long time since I've done that and it was truly refreshing. I felt like that was a good spot to call Day 1, yet again.
So many Days 1, huh? You're probably thinking to yourself, "Damn this bitch will not commit." And it's true. I'm very flaky when it comes to dieting. But since I purged everything from my body and have gone almost two weeks without sweets (aside from the weekend treat of a blended iced coffee or an Icee at the movies), it's time to kick it into high gear.
This week my goal is to not drink beer until the weekend arrives and to forget about drinking sodas, like ever again. Oh, soda. What am I? 12? My sweet tooth will have to be satisfied by low-calorie G2 Gatorade now. I have 23 days until my next dress fitting and I will lose that fucking inch.



Unless you've been living in a cave for the last year (at least), you must have heard about all of the drama surrounding the release of Watchmen. That drama resulted in a lot of hype and from my experience, hype is never good for a movie. It builds up expectations to the point that there is no way it will live up to anything you've imagined. I have not read the graphic novel. Or any graphic novel for that matter. But I love comic book/superhero movies so I was pretty pumped up about seeing this one. This review is only about Watchmen as a movie, not how the movie compares or stays true to the graphic novel.
First things first? The movie is long. Like three hours long. That? Is too long. If I have to get up to go to the bathroom during the running time of a film, I feel like that's problematic. There are a lot of characters we never get the chance to learn a whole hell of a lot about. There is quite a bit of action. None of it was overly breathtaking. The violence, however, is palpable. The paused moments in fight scenes are just like looking at a frame of a comic book. It was a cool movie to watch, I just never got emotionally invested in any of it. I guess if I never saw this movie again, I'd carry on just fine with my life.
If I had to pick my favorite part of this movie I would have to say that the opening credits were the absolute best thing about Watchmen. That and Dr. Manhattan's glowing penis.


Lucky 77 Haiku Friday

Seventy seven
Days to go until we wed
on May twenty third
Seven oh seven
Parents' anniversary
Summer of six-nine
And, lest we forget,
Nineteen seventy seven
The year I was born


The Curse of Lent

Why I don't recall this event every year is truly beyond me. Every time Lent rolls around I give up cookies or sweets. Every year. And this year is no different. Wouldn't you know it, the other day, outside of the Vons, were a gaggle of girls in green surrounded by cookies. I believe Buzz and I were deep in discussion when I halted mid-sentence and gasped. The Girl Scout cookies are for sale.
Would you like to know where they are selling these annual treats? Click here.
I am proud to say I purchased four boxes (Tagalongs® and Samoas®, of course!) almost one whole week ago and they remain secure in their packaging in the door of my freezer. Sigh. Treats at Easter time are the bain of my existence. Cadbury Mini Eggs? Yup. Love 'em. Cadbury Creme Eggs? Mmmm... those too. But yesterday marked one week without desserts and I'm proud to say I DID IT! Five weeks to go...


79 Days to Go Humpday

I have sort of become the person I really tried not to become. I am suddenly "that girl" that needs to talk about her wedding on a daily basis. On Monday morning (Monday, people, barely awake on the worst day), my mom thought it would be fun to discuss how I was going to get to the wedding site from my or her house - wherever we end up getting ready. Um, the wedding? Is months away. I doubt I need to figure that out now.
Yesterday it was talk about my hair and make up. Over the weekend I got a call saying my dress was in. The gal that works at the bridal store was PUMPED! I mean, you could literally feel the excitement pulsating through my cell phone. I, on the other hand, was quite distracted by the new bras I had purchased and basically spent after a morning of registering for bridal gifts so I couldn't reciprocate the same sort of energy.
I have my first fitting in my very own wedding dress tomorrow night. Apparently, this is a pivotal moment that my mother, grandmother and sister-in-law are overly enthusiastic about participating in with me. I, on the other hand, can only hope I'm home in time to watch some Must See TV on NBC. I suppose I would be a lot more excited if I had actually lost some weight between the last time I tried on the dress in the store and now. But I haven't. And I doubt I will. I worry that my mother will regret dropping a ton of money on a dress that will be ill-fitting on her overly curvaceous daughter. I worry that I won't be the vision of beauty that will make my husband-to-be weep at the altar. I worry that even though I'm ok with the way I look, the camera won't be kind. Worry. Worry. Worry.

MORAL OF THAT STORY: If you can't be the one you love, love the one you are.



I don't know if I have blogger's block or what but I can't seem to dig up anything of interest to blog about. I guess I can resort to snippets:
  • Registered at Macy's this weekend. Please feel free to purchase things for me.
  • I had a presentation yesterday that I think I did ok on. I don't speak so well but I can put together a helluva PowerPoint presentation.
  • I have two compositions due this week. I finished them last week. That's huge for me.
  • Buzz bought me Bones Season 2 on DVD so that's pretty much how I spend my free time now.
  • Ever since Andrea said she was going to sing snippets of the song below at my wedding reception, I can't stop listening to it. I think you should too and laugh your ass off.