Transient Ischemic Attack

Commonly known as: Mini Strokes

My Grandpa is having these. He was admitted into the hospital on Tuesday for evaluation and testing and should be released this afternoon. I went to visit him last night. While he looks better than I've seen him look in a while and talked more than I have heard him talk in ages, he is clearly not the man he used to be. It was awful watching him try to make himself comfortable on the adjustable bed, using a triangle on a chain to lift himself into an upright position. He asked where "Mike" was and let's just say that's not Buzz's real life name though both of them do have four letters. He was convinced he wasn't being released but the nurses already told my mom he would be. Confusion.
This is a very weird time for me. I have never in my life been a part of watching a family member deteriorate both physically and mentally. My dad's folks lived in North Dakota and we just weren't super close so when they died I wasn't particularly affected. I knew my his mother had Alzheimer's but there wasn't enough contact to really see how it was affecting her. I know my mom's mom is as nutty as a fruitcake, but even though that's her character, I can see old age is winning its battle. It's slowly claiming both of my mother's parents' memories and their abilities to function independently.
So that's that. Not much else to say. I just thought I'd jot this down. I can only pray that they both make it to my wedding... it's so close and I can't imagine the huge void I would feel if they weren't there to watch me walk down the aisle. Not that it's all about me, of course... but it is how I'm feeling.


not fainthearted said...

It may not be all about you, but some of it IS about you. This is pre-grief. Honor it or it will come up and bitch-slap you later.

hugs and prayers,

ceedee said...

sending love to gramps!
tell him the fat one sends him some hugs :)

Lisa..... said...

I have no grandparents, but as I get older I see my husband's parents and my mom get older. And the realities of age kind of creep up on me. It feels unfair.

I'm sending good thoughts your way.

exile said...

awww, dar'lyn, i'm sorry.

*hugs for randi*

Coodence said...

Poor Granpoodles.
That's such a nice picture of him.

Mary said...

I am so sorry about your Grandpa, it must be so hard for you and your family right now. I hope and pray that they make it to your wedding. Hugs!