Buzz and I watched Britney last night on the MTV Video Music Awards. I felt very old. Very proud of Britney. Very covered in goosebumps. Very smiley. Very pleased. But very old. I wanted TI or T-Pain or whoever he was to pull up his trousers. I wanted to know who the fuck Tokio Hotel was and how I'd never even heard of them. I fell asleep before they were over.