Fare Thee Well, September...

Where the hell is this year going in such a hurry? The months are flying by! A minute ago I was saying goodbye to 30 and getting engaged. Next thing I know my brother's married and his son is on the verge of turning 2! I'm already knee deep into my semester and next thing I know it will be Halloween! Then Thanksgiving! Then Christmas! Then 2009!
Whew. I'm getting ahead of myself. But I am thinking a lot about the future. In just over six months, I'll be getting hitched. I have finances to get in order. A dress to buy. A party to plan. A trip to schedule... I just can't believe how quickly it's all coming. That's what she said.
All I know is that in order to accomplish all of this I will definitely need some money. Sadly, money is not something I have right now. So in order to save a bit and pay off those nasty credit card debts so I can start my marriage with a clean slate, I'm putting Buzz and myself on house arrest for the next six months. We're going to try our hardest to eat in instead of out, entertain ourselves on the cheap and generally lay low in order to get a head start on saving some funds. Anyway, wish us luck. Sorry there won't be any visits. Nor gifts. Nor miscellaneous spending. But you know how it is.
Has anyone else tried doing this? Any tips for us?


212 Degree Designs

This post serves as both a thank you and a plug. One of Buzz's buddies, Heather, wanted to send us a congratulations on our engagement gift. She has her own business making vinyl appliques that most peeps rock on their car windows. Buzz told her that I love butterflies and we had boring white cabinets so she threw together this little number and now our bar/serving window has some pizazz.
Applique in a Clean Kitchen
Isn't that something? Anyhoo, I love it and wanted to share. If you have a window or a flat surface you need decorating, hit her up! As for application? Super quick and easy. Like your mom.


Last Friday In September Haiku Friday

Jim and Pam - Engaged
Sushi dinner with Kitty
A great Thursday night
WAMU got bought out
I had to have my blood drawn
A sucky morning
Paying out the ass
For Vehicular's service
Here's to October

HLP & Me


What Will They Think Of Next?

I'm all for philanthropy. I'm all about bringing awareness to a cause. But can someone please 'splain to me how The Naked Clown Calendar is doing Multiple Sclerosis any favors?
I mean... aren't people afraid of clowns for the most part?
I heard about this on the radio and just had to spread the news in case there are any naked clown fetishists that read my blog and are already in the market for a 2009 calendar.
Hmm... now that I think of it, maybe I'll get one for Miss Kitty and BFF for Christmas which is a mere three months away...


Punctuation Day

When BFF, Babe and I were in Berlin we happened upon a lovely biergarten where we decided to spend pretty much the entirety of our final day. It was a glorious place shrouded in trees and we made a bet that the first person to get shat upon by a bird would not have to buy drinks for the rest of the day. Wouldn't you know it? Just as Babe and I were meeting her at the bathroom to leave after getting a five finger discount on some authentic German stein glasses, a bird shit on her face.
Boy. Did Babe and I laugh.
Then a couple Sundays ago, Buzz and I took a long, leisurely stroll to a car show at the harbor. While we were there, we stumbled upon a vendor that had soft serve ice cream cones. Seeing as those are one of my favorite snacks, we got one swirl cone and shared it. As we were walking back home, I noticed a white smear on his brown tee and though he had spilled a bit of soft serve on himself. Nope. A bird had shit upon him.
Did a bird just shit on my shirt?
Boy. Did I laugh.
Then this past Sunday, Crusty, her beau, Buzz and I went to Santa Barbara. While I was enjoying the beautiful, sunshiny day beneath the shade of a palm tree I felt a splat upon my left forearm. From my wrist to my elbow there was a giant, wet splatter of bird shit. Sadly, there is no photographic evidence of said incident as I am the photographer and I make the executive decisions on what photographs should be taken. But even if there was? You'd likely not want to see it as it was a biggun.
Boy. Did Buzz laugh.

MORAL OF THAT STORY: Karma's a bitch.


My Summer Vacation

BFF has a blog post about writing a wee summary of how we spent our summer vacation. I think that is a fantastic suggestion because TMI Tuesday is a bit racy today. I don't care to discuss what I have inserted into my sexual partners. Anyhoo...
This summer vacay (which I assume started at the end of June) was spent like most summer vacays in the past: watching Dodger baseball either live or on our huge HD television. Buzz and I also moved into a new apartment near the beach so we spent a lot of time getting settled and enjoying BBQs and the ocean side together. There's nothing like fireworks on a homemade quilt spread over the sand. We hit the Salsa Festival in downtown Oxnard. We watched a lot of movies. We went to the Dallas Cowboys training camp. We spent a weekend down in SD with BFF and her family. And most of all? We prepped for the wedding that finally came to its end last weekend.
In hindsight, I would have liked to have read for pleasure a little more but other than that it was a great summer. It makes me realize how nice it was to have all that free time. Now I'm in school and I can barely find time to breathe. Silly Randi - the grass is always greener on the other side. Someday I will learn.
So tell me! How was your summer?


The Wedding - FINALLY!

The Ring Bearer
The Bride & Groom
Bridesmaid/Sister of the Groom
My Family
Those gams? That's what walking a dog twice a day will get ya.
Those tan lines? That's what a $35 spray on tan will NOT cover.
If you have any desire to sift through a couple hundred other photos of this wedding, please click here.


Talk Like A Pirate Haiku Friday

Avast and Ahoy
Grub and grog and scurvy too
Davy Jones' locker
Dead men tell no tales
Yo ho ho and a bottle
of rum, scallywag
Shiver me timbers!
A haiku of pirate speak
Savvy, landlubbers?


I Got A Jones For Bones

I am not even really sure how this happened but I have suddenly become a fan of the Fox show Bones. Then again, I'm not exactly sure why I wouldn't be a fan:
  • It stars David Boreanaz a.k.a. Angel from Buffy The Vampire Slayer.
  • I read and loved Teasing Secrets from the Dead written by a forensic anthropologist which is essentially what the show is based on.
  • Much like Stanley on The Office, I love my mystery stories.
  • There's a cast member from Freaks and Geeks (The Judd Apatow connection).
However, there is a certain amount of CSI-like cheese associated to it. And Dr. Temperance "Bones" Bennet, played by Emily Deschanel almost comes across like an animated cardboard cut out. I like her! I really do... I just don't know why...
Last night, Cesar Millan of The Dog Whisperer fame was a guest star. The episode was about dog fighting. During a commercial break they ran this PSA. Watch a little bit of it. Does it disturb you too to see the mouths of animals move?
Ugh. Terrible.
Anyway, Hump Days at 8 on Fox. Give the show a try if you want to. I like it.


Is My Luck Running Out?

So as I have mentioned I am currently enrolled in and taking two Spanish classes toward my major. One class is advanced Spanish which is more or less conversational and the other is Spanish culture and history taught in espaƱol. It's all very exciting. I go Monday through Thursday on my lunch hour and learn. How's that for maximizing my free time?
Anywho, this past Monday there was a composition due in my language class. I thought we were only discussing it that day but in reality, we were supposed to turn it in. I lucked out and la profesora told us that we had to bring it today. I will now arrive to class prepared.
Yesterday we were supposed to have a quiz (like we do almost every class) and I had not done my reading because I was too busy preparing for the presentation we had to give in my culture class. The presentation, about gay marriage in Spain, was a hit! It ended up taking up most of class so our quiz was postponed for tomorrow! We took an anonymous vote on who in our class approved or disapproved of gay marriage in general. I was shocked that out of nineteen votes, there were five people against, thirteen for and one who abstained. Southern California? I figured there would be far less than 25% opposed to a basic human right...
Either way, I got out of a quiz.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Sometimes good things do happen to good people.


The Great Dress Debacle of Oh Eight

This weekend there was a little bit of a SNAFU. You see, I am a bridesmaid in my brother's wedding. Said wedding occurs this Saturday, September 20. Last Saturday, the girls were all supposed to be fitted for their dresses. When I arrived for our 12 o'clock fitting appointment, that had been confirmed mind you, I was asked if I had the bra and shoes I would be wearing with the dress. Like the good girl scout I am, I was totally prepared. The dress shop, however, was not. Apparently the dresses were "in" the warehouse, just not "in" the store.
Hmm... Why would you confirm an appointment for dresses you don't have? Why would you ask me if I was prepared if you are not? And how on earth do I not have my dress a week before the wedding? I believe the last two times I was a bridesmaid I had my dresses no less than several months beforehand. So I simply gathered my things, told the women good luck telling the bride her party had no dresses and I promptly left.
The dresses ended up arriving yesterday, five whole days before the wedding. I guess those are some nimble fingers those seamstresses have because they swear the dresses will be ready by Wednesday. Interesting. Anywho, the reason I bring this up is because I was thrilled with the dress and the results of my fitting. It would seem I have lost 3" around my waist and 4" around my hips. The weigh in at my doctor's office visit yesterday afternoon confirmed that I have indeed lost the ten pounds I had set out to lose.
Hooray for me. I guess a diet of nachos and beer truly does work wonders.


Weekend Wrap Up Pictures

Present from FinanceDead Men Tell No Time
Buzz brought me a present for Talk Like A Pirate Day (Friday, 9/19) that he even wrapped himself all snazzy like.

Our Refurbished Front PorchOur Refurbished Back Yard
We finally got the yards done. And by yards I mean "front porch" and "backyard."

Then we stumbled upon a kickass car show and Buzz got shat upon.
You can find those pictures here.


8 Months Til My Birthday Haiku Friday

Ah, the number twelve
Always makes me think of me
The day I was born
Just like twenty five
Makes me think of Jesus Christ
You know, His birthday?
Presents, food for me
Is what they have in common
I like to be spoiled


Music Recommendations

Solange Sol-Angel and the Hadley St. Dreams

I think I might need to credit Perez Hilton for this particular purchase. If it wasn't for all his publicity and streaming her video for "I Decided" on his site, this probably would have flown right under my radar. I don't know if many of you know this about me but I love some oldies R&B. Aretha Franklin. Etta James. Otis Redding. You get the drift. Solange (Beyonce's younger sister for those of you out of the know) brings back some doo-wop on this CD. I really dig it. Need proof? I can't stop singing "If it wasn't for T.O.N.Y." in my office this morning.

Katy Perry One of the Boys

Man. How I wanted to ignore the hype on this one. I don't think I had even heard "I Kissed A Girl" until it had already been number one on the charts for at least six weeks. Now all I sing about is the taste of her cherry ChapStick. When I read an article saying she was like Pat Benatar I couldn't resist picking up the CD. I wouldn't say she's a Benatar, more like a Pink/Alanis Morissette mix. Only I don't hate her like I hate Alanis and I sort of love her like I love Pink. Feel me? The songs on this CD are super catchy and fun but I can do without a sappy love song. Always.

The Libertines Up the Bracket

Ok, so this one is several years old but it's new to me! I was at a yard sale and I picked up this CD, a Britney Spears dance mix single for "Stronger" and Blood, Sweat and Tears Greatest Hits for a dollar. Can't beat that kind of bargain. I don't think I realized at the time that this is supermodel Kate Moss's ex-boyfriend the crackhead Pete Doherty's former band prior to Babyshambles (Who reads tabloids? I do!). When Buzz informed me of that factoid, I was prepared to hate it. But guess what? I totally didn't. There's something about a sung brogue that gets me every time. If I had to compare it to something I have heard before I'd go ahead and say The Raconteurs. The whole album was totally listenable and enjoyable.


The Crimson Pyramid

Man. For the last few weeks the ups and downs have been plentiful and abundant. For the last year my family has been discussing my brother's wedding ad nauseum. Well the big day will finally come to fruition in a mere ten days. Two weekends ago was the bachelorette excursion to Vegas, last weekend was the shower, this weekend is the dress fitting, next weekend is the rehearsal dinner and the wedding. Talk about overload.
Add to that the fact that I'm premenstrual as all get out and it's a bad deal all around. Add to that the fact that my doctor decided to cut my Prozac dosage in half and we have reached meltdown status. School just started, work is busy as ever and the bridesmaid duties don't stop. I'm in a long distance relationship, have a home to keep and animals to care for. I? Am a mess.
Here's something BFF has taught me by way of internet research that I never knew and let me know I'm not alone. Prozac is a tough drug to wean off of. It shouldn't be cut in half, but rather minimized by 5mg at a time. So I am back up to my regular dose and we'll try this shit again sometime when my life isn't insanely busy. When trips to meet the future in-laws and holidays aren't looming on the horizon. Then I have my own wedding to plan.



TMI Tuesday

1. Describe the perfect date for YOURSELF... what you would enjoy most.
A delicious breakfast in a cute diner, a matinee of some new release comedy followed by a leisurely stroll by the beach whilst enjoying an ice cream cone and good conversation.
2. Do you lean more toward being submissive or dominant?
Depends on who I'm with. With friends I would say I'm more submissive, at work I'm more dominant. In my relationships I try to be a mixture of both.
3. What do you usually wear to bed?
My diamond earrings, my engagement ring, my Tiffany bracelet and my belly button ring.
4. Have you ever seen a counselor?
Off and on for many years.
5. Lights on or off?
Um... for sexy time? I guess it never really mattered to me. "On" sure makes it easier to see where you're going and what you're doing though...
Bonus (as in optional): Have you or a partner ever faked an orgasm?
I have. Not sure how my partner could have...

Questions are from here.


VMA = Veto Mature Audiences?

Buzz and I watched Britney last night on the MTV Video Music Awards. I felt very old. Very proud of Britney. Very covered in goosebumps. Very smiley. Very pleased. But very old. I wanted TI or T-Pain or whoever he was to pull up his trousers. I wanted to know who the fuck Tokio Hotel was and how I'd never even heard of them. I fell asleep before they were over.


End Of A Short Week Haiku Friday

I found sixteen cents
While walking Kiyah today
Sixteen days of luck?
Wednesday a penny
While I filled up my gas tank
I'll be rich, bitches!!!
Then I spent my coin
On shower and birthday gifts
And I'm poor again


What Happens In Vegas...

Clearly didn't stay in Vegas. So since I have nothing of interest to ramble about on this blog o'mine today, I thought I would leave the story telling up to you. Spill the beans on a Vegas related story so I can use it to plan my own trip there next April. Doesn't have to be terrible, it can be fun or silly or just your favorite restaurant.

Here's a wee story of mine from a Vegas trip of yore. I went to the strip club in Old Town called Glitter Gulch. You may know of it because it's under a landmark of a sign:

Anywhoo, this was my very first encounter with a stripper of any gender. I had gone to Vegas with three guys for a punk show that we ended up missing. We had no room, it was going to be a turnaround trip. We gambled, we ate, we drank and we ended up at a topless bar (no cookies for me, thanks!). My buddy Albert bought my drunken ass a lap dance and some other woman that was sitting next to me who I didn't even know and wasn't even with us decided she was going to come along with me and crash my good times. All I remember was the smell of baby powder, a bendy stripper and the sound of her giggles. When I walked away my belt, pants button and zipper were completely undone and I had a smile on my face.
The End.


Haha - It's Hump Day!

Oh man. I did a TMI Tuesday and it's Wednesday. I can blame this on the fact that it was a long weekend spent in Las Vegas celebrating my brother's fiancee's bachelorette party. So rather than accept that I have lost a million brain cells, I just back dated the post I did today and we'll all pretend it was yesterday instead. Are we clear? Good. Let's move on.
Las Vegas. What can I say about it? I lost money there. I had my first encounter with male strippers. I got pushed around by bouncers. I had a heifer whore step on my tiny toe with her hooker heels and was thisclose to punching her in the back of the head. I had my sister-in-law to be put me in a headlock and wrestle me around our hotel room. I don't want to go into too much detail because what happens in Vegas is supposed to stay there from what I understand.
If nothing else, being there made me so excited to be there again in April. Know why? Because I will be getting married there! Yay!
It's been a rough return. Things just don't seem to be going so well for me. For the last two nights I have woken up drenched in sweat and I am pretty sure that's what detox feels like. Am I too old for a girl's weekend away? I think so...

MORAL OF THAT STORY: One can not underestimate the healing power and importance of hydration.


TMI Tuesday

1. When was the last time someone hit on you? What went down?
I think the last time was when my fiance proposed. Haha. The first time was way more interesting. 12-year old Crusty and I were at the Esplanade mall pet store. Two younguns walked up to us and asked us if we had any pets. Way to break the ice, fellas.
2. If you were single and could be with any one person, who would it be (thinking singer/actor or someone famous here, but whatever)?
Jeez... I guess it would have to be Jim from The Office. The character. Not the actor.
3. Have you ever had done anything sexual in your office or your place of employment?
Oh hell no. I work for my dad and I've known most of the employees here since I was a little girl.
4. Do you apologize when you make a mistake? How do you react when someone calls you out?
Always. I apologize when I'm not at fault. How does anyone react when called out? My cheeks flush and I feel like a doofus.
5. Top or bottom?
Hahahaha. Both.
Bonus (as in optional): How old were you when you first had a willing sexual experience?
Kiss? 15. Penetration? 19. Anything else pretty much happened in the middle there.

Questions are from here.