Bally Total Doucheness

I have finally come to my senses and realize that I am simply not destined for "the gym." I don't like it. I don't like going in the locker room to change. I don't like wiping down sweaty equipment. I don't like seeing other people sweat. I don't like wondering if I look ridiculous in my gym clothes when I see muscular young women walking around in flesh exposing leotard-like items. I do not like it, Randi I am.
Silly me, in October of 2007 I thought it would be brilliant if I signed a three year contract for membership at Bally Total Fitness in Oxnard. At the time, it was a mere three miles from my home. Since then I have moved and now live eight miles away. A sixteen mile round trip to exercise for a half hour does not seem reasonable to me especially when I now have a dog that I walk twice a day, morning and night. And so there's that. Before? I was single and had weekends free for the most part. Now I'm engaged and my weekends are full.
Ugh. Anyway, I'm not trying to say I have it harder than anyone else but that $30 a month I'm paying to go to a gym I simply don't go to could be much better spent on a half a tank of gas. So I tried to quit the gym. Guess what. They won't let me. Even though the dude on the phone said my cancellation would be accepted as long as my change of address was 7 miles from the gym. Even though I can honestly say I have not stepped foot in that gym for a minimum of 6 months. Even though I politely requested that my contract be canceled. Even though I have never been late ONCE for a payment. And on top of that? They were totally rude on the phone and made me wait no less than 30 minutes on hold. Bastards.

MORAL OF THAT STORY: Bally Total Fitness has no soul and sits on a throne of lies.


Coodence said...

Isn't there a friends episode about this, too?? Where Chandler goes to quit the gym and ends up signing an even longer contract? Sorry, dude. They are one of the layers of hell.

Andrea said...

My dogs want to come live with you. They only get real walks on the weekends or when it's not too hot or when I feel not lazy. Poor doggies.

Lisa..... said...

I totally remember the friends episode. And all gyms are the devil. They know that memberships are how they make money off of us. I hate the gym too.

ceedee said...

tell 'em you moved to Germany. That should be sufficient to end your contract.