1. Are your farts:
a. Silent but deadly
b. All sound, no fury
c. Loud and stinky
I am proud to say that I can answer this question: d. All of the above.
2. Have you ever farted in front of a lover? Who was the 1st one to do it? How did they or you handle it?
Recently the fart seal was broken between me and Buzz. I was the first one. We were on the way home from a Dodger game and I believe it was the night he proposed. I was all nerves and was trying to hold it on all the way home in the car. When we got in the garage I boosted and it's possible that I broke the sound barrier. Things have never been the same. We handled it like we handle most things: by laughing our asses off.
3. Have you ever farted and tried to blame someone else? Who and did you get away with it?
I tried to blame my shoe once when I was a highschooler. I was out with BFF and Miss Kitty. I didn't get away with it. No. But now we can reminisce on this moment by saying "That was my shoe."
4. What food triggers you?
I'm going to go ahead and say "all food" here, Bob.
5. Varts (Vaginal Farts) Scary, or an indication of a good time being had by all?
I thought these were called queefs? I would say these are pretty mortifying but if you are with the right person at the right time (a.k.a. secksy time) they have the potential to be pretty hilarious.
Bonus (as in optional): When you do fart with someone in your bed, do you cover their head with the sheet and hold them under?
The temptation is there but no. I think it's a helluva silly thing to do but mostly pretty disgusting. But just to make this question mine, what do you call this particular act? I call it "covered wagon." I've also heard dutch oven...
Questions are from here.