4.30.2008

Hooray for Hump Day!

Ladies and Germs, it's official. I am completely and totally fed up with school. There. I said it. Here it is in black and white. I have one paper down and one to go for my history class. Then there is my HUGE Spanish project and at least 2 more tests in that class. I can not believe how unenthusiastic I am about all of it. I am literally just trying to git'r'done so I can read for pleasure the entire summer. I think the first half of May is going to FLY and then it's off to Germany with BFF and Babe to see my favorite and only uncle.
I feel like I've been "letting myself go" since I've been in school and am really anxious to start having free time again. Free time that doesn't need to be spent doing homework. Next semester I don't have a single night class and am anticipating spending my evenings at the gym. I was going to say nights but I'm pretty sure I have a bed at home that would be far more comfortable than sleeping on a treadmill.
2010. That's my alleged graduation date. Two more years of being a full-time worker and part-time student. Lord help me.
MORAL OF THAT STORY: There's a reason you should go to college after high school. It's to avoid being me.

4.29.2008

Random Snippets

  • I don't know why but this "scandalous" picture of Disney star Miley Cyrus

  • totally makes me think of Heath Ledger's Joker.
  • UPDATE: I guess I am not the only one.
  • Britney is scheduled to make a second appearance on How I Met Your Mother that is to air on my birthday - May 12th.
  • My birthday? Is 13 days away.
  • Last night at the market there was a homey that had "I Love Clitoris" tattooed on his neck. I would have tried to get a secret camera pic but if he'd have caught me I may not be here blogging about it right now.

How about some TMI now...
1. Early bird or night owl?
Early to bed, early to rise.
2. Where was the first place you ever had sex?
Someone's garage. There was a bed there, mind you, but it was still someone's garage.
3. On a scale of 1-10, how happy are you? (1 is lowest, 10 is highest)
I'm going to say I'm a 9 right now. I'd be a 10 if Buzz was up here.
4. Are you more submissive or dominant?
Dominant.
5. Do you believe in love at first sight?
I believe in lust in first sight.
Bonus (as in optional): Describe your bed time habits. What side do you sleep on? What do you usual wear? Any night time rituals?
I sleep all over my very own full sized bed. Naked. Generally with the TV on. After taking my medications.

4.28.2008

Baby Mama

I'm a sucker for corn rows and manicured toes... Whoa, Nelly. I just brought back E.I.! What I meant to say was: I am a sucker for movies born of Saturday Night Live alumni. I can't help it. It goes as far back as Chevy Chase and Steve Martin (who just happens to have a hilarious supporting role in Baby Mama) and really had the deal sealed with Tommy Boy and The Wedding Singer - two of my favorite movies of all time.
Baby Mama definitely brought the laughs but Buzz apparently found it very predictable because on at least two separate occasions he pretty much blurted out what would happen next. I, on the other hand, try not to read too far into a movie and just enjoy myself (edit: when it comes to movies like this). Which I did. Tina Fey and Amy Poehler are a fantastic comedic duo. The script is mediocre at best but they make it work. Just looking at these two gorgeous, hilarious, intelligent women kept a smile on my face the entire running time of the movie.
Do I think you should see it? Sure. An air conditioned matinee is nice on one of the hottest days of April in Oxnard. Free is nicer. I don't know that I'd drop the ten bucks to see it on a date night though. Be sure to keep an eye out for Sigourney Weaver if you do go. It's nice to see her on the big screen again.

OH! And one more thing...
TWO MORE WEEKS

4.25.2008

Over It Haiku Friday

School can suck it, man
So much homework to be done
Don't want to do it
***
Getting out of bed
Is becoming quite the chore
Wish I could sleep in
***
Peeps coming to town
A funeral, Buzz, Crusty
Sounds both good and sad

4.24.2008

Love Thursday

First Self Portrait of the Day

I guess it's about high time I throw up the 411 about my romantic weekend away with Buzz. Destination: Disneyland. After beating him to the hotel, we proceeded to the Magic Kingdom for a full day's worth of fun and frolicking. I feared the perma-grin I was rocking would lead peeps to believe I was "special" but I think I pulled it off. This is the first trip I was able to see the new and improved Finding Nemo Submarines, I highly recommend it. The cute factor was frickin' high that day. We hardly hit a line that lasted longer than 30 minutes. We held hands all day. I know, I know. If you need to take a second to gag on the saccharine that is my story I won't mind. And now onto the snippets:

  • McDonald's has strategically placed kiosks that sell only french fries. Yeah. They do. Be sure to remember that the next time you are looking for a cheeseburger and end up waiting in line for NOTHING BUT FRIES which we didn't even end up getting.
  • There is NO LIQUOR SERVED at the Disneyland theme park. Downtown Disney - yes. California Adventure - yes. The Blue Bayou fine dining restaurant in the Pirates of the Caribbean ride - NO. And Buzz will inform you of this from the top of his lungs across the waiting room and you will do the alcoholic's walk of shame out the door, abandoning the reservations you made nearly a week in advance.
  • So obviously we bailed and headed to Downtown Disney for some pre-dinner beverage imbibing and appetizer consumption. The Asian chicken wings at the ESPN Zone kick ass. So does Fat Tire on tap. In fact, the whole experience there was so lovely that when we left, Buzz exchanged high fives with the entire bar staff and patrons while I was already out the door. Keep the high five alive!!!
  • Dinner was at the Rainforest Cafe. Dudes: bacon wrapped shrimp stuffed with crab and drizzled with a four cheese sauce. Delectable. Blinky cup? Fucking rad. Animatronic gorilla right next to our table? A bit much.
  • After muchas cervezas we headed back to the Hilton to check in and then took a cab a whole 2 blocks back to Disneyland where we accosted people in line for the Indiana Jones ride. People, whatever you do, do not rock a Detroit hat unless you are from there. Buzz will call you out.
  • The prime time to hop on Splash Mountain is at night when the rest of the park peeps have their eyes on the fireworks. However, you will be DRENCHED and it will not be warm. Soaking wet jeans and walking don't mix. No sir.
  • When booking an out of town trip, be sure to note if there will be a cheerleading competition at the convention center directly outside your hotel. If you don't? You will send your boyfriend down to the lobby for some Starbucks only to have him gone for nearly an hour while you are pacing the room wondering WTF could have possibly happened to him from the room to the lobby and back. Cheertastic!
  • Breakfast at the LaBrea Bakery in Downtown Disney is a must. Mmm... Quiche Lorraine. Mmm... mimosas. Mmm... sourdough toast.
  • California Adventure? Meh. 3-D shows are fun (Yay Muppets! Yay Bug's Life!) but the rest of it was sort of anticlimactic. Or it could have just been burnout since Saturday rocked socks.
  • Buzz knocked down little thingies with baseballs and won me a leopard. Well... first three tiny leopards which I had to exchange for a biggun. Hooray!

And that's that in a nutshell. I will try not to turn this into a boyfriend blog sort of like I tried not to let it turn into a nephew blog. But it's fresh and new and love is in the air and everywhere I look around.

4.23.2008

Forgetting Sarah Marshall

Finally! A movie I wanted to see based solely on the cast that didn't totally disappoint me (see: here and here)! My love for the original Apatow gang (see: Freaks and Geeks, Undeclared) has got to be evident by now. Hell, I even threw up a post saying Jason Segel was the new Judge Reinhold. That? Was not the nicest thing to say because I do believe Mr. Segel will have much more longevity than Mr. Reinhold did... but I digress. Forgetting Sarah Marshall basically opens on Jason Segel's penis and manages to revisit that "oft unseen on the big screen" body part quite a few times throughout the length of the film. He wrote this movie, you know. The man is very talented. He's also a musician (no really!) and manages to work into the story line a Dracula musical. With puppets. And when a movie has a line like "Snuffleupagus fucked my shit up!" you know you can't go wrong.
On a side note? How gorgeous did Mila Kunis of That 70s Show fame get all of a sudden? I'd take her over Angelina Jolie any day! For some added flavor, Kenneth the Page and Paul Rudd grace us with their presence, too. The jokes are flying fast and furious but the story actually manages to be romantic and touching and throws in a little "moral of the story" action regarding relationships as well without being too much.
I really loved everyone in and everything about this movie. Thought for a second I'd have to revive Buzz with an oxygen tank because he laughed so hard but it never came to that. Frankly, he and I laughed harder than anyone else in the theater. Perhaps it was because of the mimosa at breakfast but I will say this: Forgetting Sarah Marshall is a must see.

MORAL OF THAT STORY: Sometimes sneaking in a movie to break up the theme park monotony is essential.

4.22.2008

Find Buzz & Randi

Splash Mountain

Future Photo-Journalist At Your Service

This morning I got an email from this website saying that the picture below "has been short-listed for inclusion in the second edition of the Schmap California Guide, to be published at the end of May 2008."

Carnegie Art Museum

While not as insanely awesome as the tineh ponehs making it onto Cute Overload, it's still high on my list of shit I want to brag about. So there you have it. Maybe this hobby o'mine will turn into something more...

4.21.2008

Three Weeks From Today!!!

L-bombs were dropped, hands were held, Disneyland was conquered, California Adventure underwhelmed... So many stories to tell, a movie review to post... All coming soon to a blog near you.

My Amazon.com Wish List

4.18.2008

Finally Haiku Friday

My boyfriend and I
Are going to Disneyland
We're 14 years old
Spending the night, too!
Fancy Anaheim Hilton
Stay away, Paris!
And then? On Sunday?
California Adventure
Could I be more spoiled???

4.17.2008

Just Because.

You know who you are...

P.S. 25 more days

4.16.2008

Making Morals Out Of Molehills

I did it, you guys. I went to the gym just like I told BFF I would. I could have stayed home having a pity party with my Aunt Flo and the cramps she brought along with her but I sucked it up and toughed it out. Luckily, the ceiling and walls did not collapse around me as I entered Bally Total Fitness. I can't even remember the last time I was there... definitely February but I don't think since then. I walked a brisk walk on the treadmill, broke a sweat, did some stretches and hightailed it to the market for a basketful of healthy meal items. Time to shit or get off the pot as the old saying goes. Sunshine plus warm weather equals short sleeves and Lord knows I don't want to be caught running around with chicken cutlets where my toned upper arms should be. I've got a bridesmaid dress in my near future and we all know that shit will be sleeveless so it's time to get a jump on the physical fitness. Holler.

MORAL OF THAT STORY: Do rather than speak. You'll see results faster that way.

P.S. 26 more days

4.15.2008

27 More Days!

You haven't had to deal with me yet. For some this is not much of an achievement but for me it's monumental. You see... Normally I start counting down to my birthday every time a month hits "12" after May. This year? I actually waited 'til the 12th of April to start counting down. Pretty neat huh? You can see to your upper right there is a lovely little link to my wish list. Mind you, you don't need to buy me a gift, but won't it feel nice for you when you express that kind of generosity? When I mention your gift and thank you profusely on my blog, won't it give you warm fuzzies to know you've been acknowledged for your kindness? Yeah. Right. Basically I'm a beggar and if you guys won't create a PayPal fund to get my tattoo fixed then I guess I will just have to settle for DVDs. Ha!
My Amazon.com Wish List
xxxx
xxxx
Don't forget, today is Tax Day. File yo' shit, slackers!

4.11.2008

Spring Fo Sho Haiku Friday

Pedicure. Massage.
I spoiled myself after work.
Today? The mani.
***
Want to be pretty
I bought myself some new threads
Freshen myself up
***
See those pics below?
Can you see the resemblance?
One hint... it's the nose
BEFORE

4.10.2008

Deep HNT

Reflection. Introspection. Pondering. Day dreaming.
Dwell minding.
Happy HNT

4.09.2008

Made It To The Hump

Dear Noisy Neighbors.
There will be no "OMGSTFU" for you. No. I will actually spell it out. Oh my God, shut the fuck up! Are you kidding me? Do you not have a job? How old are you? Teenagers? Alone and renting an apartment unsupervised for the first time? Well guess what. I'm old as shit and I don't want to hear you bumping Art Laboe shout outs and Zapp & Roger on a school night until well past midnight. I just don't. When I am in the sanctuary that is my home I prefer listening to my own TV and my own music. Not yours. I don't know if you've picked up on it yet but the walls that separate us are paper thin. And that thing outside your door is no balcony. No. It's merely a second story walkway to your apartment. It's not yours. K? It's all of ours. A community pathway for the five doors of our neighbors whom I happen to be nestled right in the middle of. What that translates to is: Don't stand outside my open window popping the tops off your beer bottles and letting them clank to the concrete ground whilst spitting obscenities in your outside voice. And while you are at it? Let the girls and boys playing inside know that screaming is simply not suitable for the indoors. I've already knocked on your door and banged on your wall. I've called the apartment manager. Next time I'm bringing in the big guns and calling the OPD. You've been warned.
Signed,
One pissed off bitch.

MORAL OF THAT STORY: There's this thing called an "indoor voice." Use it.

4.08.2008

Bad Joke Tuesday

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.
"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."
Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.
Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.
The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral."
She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"
The bank manager looks back at her and says...









"It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

4.07.2008

CD Recommendation Monday

He's from Chicago. Sorta R&B and Hip Hop.
Smart Rhymes. Smooth Voice.
Homeboy's got Grammys, yo. Checkit.

4.04.2008

Thank God It's Haiku Friday

Looked back at old posts
One year anniversary
Meltdown & Prozac
***
Crusty's here in town
What impeccable timing
We both need support
***
Counting my blessings
Doing, not talking/planning
Time to move forward

4.03.2008

Poop Mouth

The Blog-O-Cuss Meter - Do you cuss a lot in your blog or website?
Created by OnePlusYou

This is 284% MORE cussing than other websites who took this test. Where's the swear jar?

Love Thursday/HNT Hybrid

All Kinds Of Wrong

Cheeky puts that smile on Auntie's face.

And his huge cabeza hides her double chin.

What's not to love?

4.02.2008

Hump Day Morals

I'm going to make this short but sweet. I have to do a presentation on Colombia en espaƱol with a PowerPoint presentation in 6 hours. I also have to "work." I have done nothing but an outline. In other words, I better get going.

MORAL OF THAT STORY: All play and no work makes for a mad dash scramble to git'r'done.

ADDENDUM: fuckinginternetbullshitnopowerpointhavingmothereffer. I can't do it, Captain. Bummer.

4.01.2008

April Fool's Day

Isn't it nice that Gee-Double You gets his own special day? To not be lumped in with the other Presidents we just celebrated in February?