La Boca Grande Haiku Friday

My good intentions
Only brought silent treatments
Awkward office now
I am too honest
Should I keep my big mouth shut
Or talk behind backs?
Seems like a crock of horse shit
When things go so wrong

Tell 'Em Ellen!


Facial HNT

Do I bring the hotness or what? I mean...
after the pig mask who knew it could get worse?
Thanks for the headband, Crusty.

Happy Half Nekkid Thursday, Kiddos!


Exile, I can hear your comment coming a mile away... but it looks like Sassy beat you!

Zee Juh-muns

Happy Birthday, Uncle Bubbo!!!
Me & Bub


50 Years In 3 Minutes

Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start The Fire"... with pictures!
Moral of that story: Some people have too much time on their hands.


Word Of The Day

Courtesy of Merriam-Webster
One entry found.


Main Entry: por·cine
Pronunciation: \ˈpor-ˌsīn\
Function: adjective
Etymology: Latin porcinus, from porcus pig — more at farrow
Date: circa 1656
: of, relating to, or suggesting swine : piggish

See also:

Scariest Mask Ever

Chrisina Ricci in make-up and prosthetic for Penelope

Renee Zellweger and her squinty little pig eyes


My Favorite Oscar Winner

Good job, Diablo Cody! I loved Juno! And I love your style!
But flats on the red carpet? At least you didn't sell out.




Heritage Square

This morning, on the way for my Saturday treat of a triple venti hazelnut latte from Starbucks, I noticed an unusual amount of activity in the parking lot near the pagoda pictured above. This is fairly uncommon for a Saturday morning because there usually aren't a ton of people running around downtown and Heritage Square Park isn't exactly a hot spot unless you're homeless. There were police escorts surrounding a large group of middle school-aged students, all holding what appeared to be picket signs. Since I'm pretty much unable to see past my nose without my glasses, I had no idea what they were for. Luckily, I recognized a former classmate from CSUCI and asked him what was going on.
Do you all remember the Serious posts from last week? Perhaps you read on Perez Hilton or CNN about an 8th grader who was shot in the back of the head for being different? Well that young man died. He was robbed of his life because he had a penchant for dressing like the opposite sex. Murdered in front of a classroom full of children. A victim of what was no less than a hate crime.
Today, the members of the Boys and Girls Club of Oxnard were holding a rally to end the violence in our community. Do you know how happy this makes me? How proud? I was covered in goosebumps when Randy told me what was going on.
This is a HUGE step forward for us as a city. My hometown, most often known for its connection to gang violence, was holding a rally to bring awareness to the murder of a gay youth. Gay! Do you know what a huge step this is??? Oxnard has a very large latino populaton. I don't know how much you know of the fairly accurate machismo stereotype of Mexican males, but to see them marching in memory of a homosexual, well it moved me.
There must be awareness and acceptance, not just tolerance. If it took this shooting to bring these things to Oxnard, it was a sad but necessary sacrifice. His life was not in vain. And his death was not without a purpose. Parents, teach your children that hate and violence are not the answer. They are our future and I don't want our future to have to have another story like this one.


RIP Haiku Friday

Funeral today
The second of my whole life
I don't do church stuff
A classmate's brother
Known his sister since first grade
Showing her support
A close family friend
Passed away on Wednesday night
Brother's Godmother


Need To Spend Your Tax Return?

A good friend of mine has a wee online store for her handmade jewelry, scarves, etc.
Give her your money and get yourself something nice.

HNTs Are Better With 2

This photo was taken in a very special place
with a very special person...


Me & Buzz in Santa Barbara
(You thought I was going to be naughty, didn't you?)

Happy Half Nekkid Thursday!
P.S. Buzz posted his very first HNT. Go show him some love.


Moral of the Story Hump Day Movie Review

What are the odds that I would totally dig a gangster movie set in Harlem? American Gangster. Hell of a movie. Let's face it, when was the last time you saw a bad Denzel Washington flick? Not that I have anything against Russel Crowe but Denzel... well he's not only an incredibly talented actor but damn he's fine. This story is awesome and both Crowe and Washington put in amazing performances, both equally entitled to have their names on the top of the poster. Common makes an appearance as do several other rappers but I think my favorite cameo was Anthony Hamilton. I love his voice. He's got soul so it makes perfect sense he'd be the singer for a funk band, right? Dang. I think I blew Buzz's mind when I actually knew that the actress who played Russel Crowe's wife is Carla Gugino. I'm not sure. But what a random actress to know right? And Cuba Gooding Jr? I'm glad to see your reputation wasn't completely tarnished resulting in you being banned from movies for life after Boat Trip. Not that I ever saw it, but come on. That synopsis looks like absolute horse shit. You're better than that. We're all better than that.
Anyway, back to the reason we're all here. It is astonishing to me that American Gangster is based on a true story. That something like this actually happened is sort of mind blowing. You've got the Vietnam war, the drug trade, the mob... it's all so dark and that they're all connected is no less than astonishing. Sometimes I think I'm too naive. I loved the story of the good cop and a gangster coming together to bust the corrupt cops. This movie is gritty looking. Raw. There were some violent, graphic moments and I won't lie I gasped aloud at them. If you're looking for action, there's not much to be found here but if you're looking for a movie that makes you think, I say it's well worth your time to watch this one.

Moral of that story: Frank Lucas is a bad ass. Watch yo'self.


Mother Effin' Busy TMI Tuesday

1. Which one turns you on more ink or piercing? Why?
Dude. I hate calling tattoos ink. It's so lame. I find them much more attractive than piercings though. I don't want to see my man in nipple rings or a cock piercing. There ya have it.
2. What ink do you have? If none, what would you get and where?
I have 5 tattoos. They are here and here. I would like to get a sacred heart at some point in time. Maybe mid-back? Who knows.
3. What piercing do you have? If none, what would you get and where?
I have a belly button ring that I got the day after I graduated high school. Going on 13 years now. I wouldn't get it, but I used to love the look of a hoop ring through a lower, mid-lip.
4. Any other adornments you like to do for your lover or have them do for you?
Adornments? WTF does that mean? I guess I don't get this question. I rock tassel pasties on my nippos and I spin 'em in circles. LOL
5. Of all of the above is there anything that is an immediate Turn-Off?
Bad teeth. Oh wait, that has nothing to do with this post at all whatsoever.
Bonus (as in optional): If money/work place rules/your life/whatever allowed... what ALL would you do to your body in the name of sexual or just general adornment?
I would like to shave my head at least once even though that makes my mother think I am a man trapped in a woman's body. I've always played with the idea of getting some Dodger blue streaks in my hair... Other than that I'm pretty conservative.

Questions are from here.



You absolutely must read Buzz's scathing review of the movie below. I couldn't have said it any better. And I'm the bastard that suggested we see it together. Ugh.


Not Enough Sleep Haiku Friday

Chick-fil-A breakfast
After the phlebotomist
Took my blood away
Drank away V-day
Or Single Awareness Day
Even Black Thursday
Fast food tastes so good
Especially hungover
Wash it down with Coke


Ha! BFF & I Match

Your Candy Heart Says "Get Real"

You're a bit of a cynic when it comes to love.
You don't lose your head, and hardly anyone penetrates your heart.

Your ideal Valentine's Day date: is all about the person you're seeing (with no mentions of v-day!)

Your flirting style: honest and even slightly sarcastic

What turns you off: romantic expectations and "greeting card" holidays

Why you're hot: you don't just play hard to get - you are hard to get


Feet in that position can mean only one thing... LaZBoy.Happy HNT
I guess El Toro of Love is as red as this post got, Os.
Happy Valentine's Day!!!Think it's a LaZBoy? Hook it up, cupid!


Serious Addendum.

The victim passed away this afternoon. The shooter will be tried as an adult for murder and a hate crime. Apparently the victim was an orphan in foster care. So sad.


I guess it was only a matter of time until the epidemic of school shootings hit my hometown. Yesterday, at EO Green junior high in Oxnard, a 15-year old 8th grader was shot in the head by another student. As in any town, once something like this happens, the rumors start flying so I have heard many different reports. It would seem that the victim was a homosexual male that would often come to school in make-up and dressed more in the style a young girl would prefer rather than a young boy. Naturally, the shooter was a racist homophobe.
The victim has been upgraded serious condition so that is one bright side of this story. The shooter was apprehended and is now in custody. EO Green is lucky that this didn't turn into a deadly rampage. We all are. But how long will that luck last? And why did this happen at a junior high as opposed to what seems like the unfortunately obvious location of a high school?
What the hell is wrong with our society? Do children know the ramifications of their actions? Are they aware that guns are deadly or have violent movies and video games completely brainwashed them into believing their victim will just get up and walk away? There is no "1-Up" in real life. Where are the parents? It is alleged that the shooter used his father's gun. Why wasn't it locked up? Do parents really believe that their children won't touch their things simply because they are told not to?
This whole situation has provoked so many emotions in me. There is a definite sadness that this is not the Oxnard I grew up in. There is a blatant awareness that innocence seems all but lost in this generation of children. When I was an 8th grader I had no desire to play with guns. The only access I had to make-up was to tinted lip gloss. Thank God for dress codes that made us all into nondescript little clones. There was nothing about our clothing that would provoke the hatred that the victim received because he marched to the beat of a different drummer.
That in and of itself makes me wonder... Of course we are all brought up to accept people for who they are and that we are all different but at what point does a parent of a cross-dressing 8th grader have to step in? Should they say, "We accept you for who you are but we live in a world where people don't. For your safety, maybe you can refrain from dressing like a girl unless we are with you?" I don't know what the answer is. All I know is that this world is clearly not ready for sexual ambiguity and that is a damn shame.
MORAL OF THIS STORY: Savor each day as if it will be your last, it very well could be.


C is for Cookie

C is also the grade I got on my very first Spanish quiz. 78%. So close to a B. Since I learn phonetically, I am able to speak and understand the language very well but when it comes to writing I have hardly any idea what I'm doing. Irregular conjugations. Accents. Spelling in general. But I'm getting there. It's the first time I've taken a challenging Spanish class in God knows how long so I'm not too disappointed.
After yesterday's post I had a pretty successful day diet-wise so what do I do this morning? I grab cookies from the break room for breakfast. Oh Janules. Such a saboteur. That's ok though because I can have a couple cookies and just be good for the rest of the day. Right? Like I don't need to go to McDonald's for a Quarter Pounder value meal simply because my breakfast is questionable. This is where I go wrong. I slip and then I continue sliding through junk food the whole day. Well not today. No, sir.
And finally, to wrap up this insanely sporadic post, did you know there is a Tickle-Me Cookie Monster? I want it. I mean, look above. Who is cuter than Cookie? And if he can get all health-conscious so can I. K. That's all.



So this isn't the most upbeat post I've ever hit publish on but here goes. I am feeling big. Like bigger than ever. It's been a while since I used this blog to rant about my weight but I'm thinking maybe if I write it out I can deal with it. I'm an emotional eater. Shocking, I know. And man do I know the meaning of excess. Why have one beer when I can have three? Why have one Valentine's Day sugar cookie with buttery frosting when there are ten in the carton? Rather than get motivated and say, do homework or hit the gym, I sit and fill this void of mine with calories. Lots and lots of calories. Whilst reclining on a LaZBoy couch. WTF?
I used to exercise at 5 a.m. every morning. I used to ride my bike to the gym, exercise and then ride that bitch back home! Now? My dust covered bicycle sits with deflated tires in my parking garage. I used to walk every day after work for at least an hour. Now, after I put in my 8 hours at the office I drive home or to school and plop my ass on a chair for another 5 hours before I go to bed. For some reason, I don't think sitting on my ass for two thirds of my day is what the good Lord intended otherwise I would have no legs.
I am currently tipping the scales at 183 pounds. Yesterday I purchased my fifth pair of size 12 pants. I swore after Weight Watchers I wouldn't do this to myself again yet I'm heavier than I have ever been. Wearing an empire-waist dress to dinner so I can sit and eat comfortably and perhaps even provoke ponderings of pregnancy? Well that's not where I want to be. I'd rather just wear a dress so I can look smokin' hot. Not that I'm not smokin' hot, per se, I just don't want to be one of those women people look at and say, "You know she's got a pretty face, it's too bad she doesn't weigh about 30 pounds less."
So seriously? Fuck this. It's back to my resolutions. Back to the gym. Back to not allowing sweets in the apartment. Back to diet food. Back to taking care of myself. Back to size 10. Back to a normal BMI. Back to self-restraint and self-control. Back to me.


Writer's Block Haiku Friday

Jesus hates me, this
I know, for my boss he bugs
me so. Damn, I'm good.
Not feelin' haiku
But since Crusty tried
I felt I should too
Weekend plans got changed
Mother fucking thieves killed it
Say a prayer for

Pics of Ventura snow courtesy of Crusty's Dad


Love Thursday

I had every intention of making an HNT out of the new arrival of my LaZBoy sofa but I was unable to. Damn me and my headaches. Who knew that washing down an Imitrex with a Sam Adams Cherry Wheat (so delicious) could knock you on your ass like that? I do now.
But back to the sofa. It bears a striking resemblance to that one there only imagine it looking like a giant Hershey bar. Mmm... chocolate brown. Yeah and both ends recline, I shit you not. I have been waiting for this bad boy to arrive since November 20, 2007. Wow, Randi, obsessed much? Nah, that just happens to be the day my nephew took his very first steps in front of his other auntie.
ANYWAY... back to the couch. I love my couch. It is amazing. Beautiful. Splendid. Soooo comfortable. And the best part about it? It is brand new and it is all mine. I can't believe it. I have lived on my own since I was 19 years old and this is the first couch I have ever owned that wasn't a hand-me-down. I started with my parents' old wooden futon, upgraded to Crusty's mom's love seat and graduated to the splendor that is a LaZBoy. This is an event 11 years in the making, ladies and gentlemen. I plan on having a couchwarming party. Let me know if you are interested. RSVP.

Happy Chinese New Year

The Year of the Rat


Ash Humpday

I am a big fan of the Irish-flavored, quasi-punk band Flogging Molly. So much so that I have seen them at least 4 times live. HLP let me know that they were playing on St. Patrick's Day in Mesa, Arizona which is just a hop, skip and a jump away from her new home so I put a visit plan in motion. I really, really, really like St. Patrick's Day so I said I'd get tickets even though money is scarce because what a novel idea to see an Irish band play on my favorite Irish holiday! Unfortunately, the ever-trusted Ticketmaster website was not selling these tickets and in order to buy them I had to join some pre-sale list that Flogging Molly had going. No big deal. I ended up purchasing four tickets via musictoday.com. I always have a premonition of fraudulent or questionable activity when I veer away from Ticketmaster. I don't know why, I just do. Well it turns out my paranoia was justified.
The venue in Mesa sent an email less than a day after my ticket purchase that the show was going to be rescheduled from Monday, March 17th (a.k.a. St. Patrick's Day) to Sunday the 16th. Um... No thanks. That kind of doesn't make it as cool and, I mean, I've seen them 4 times already. Do I really need a fifth? So I requested a refund. My initial purchase was in the amount of $144.80. That included 4 tickets plus a service fee, natch. They were going to be will called so no postage or ticket printing fee had even occurred yet. When my refund came through a couple days later it was for $128.
I am paying $16.80 for what? Someone please explain this to me. No one did anything but process a transaction. That takes what? 2 minutes total? I'm paying $8.40 a minute for a computer to complete my purchase and refund? Really? I wrote them an email pointing out the absurdity of the whole thing. Now, it's not like I can't spare less than $20. I guess the question is: Why should I? Plus... how much money are they making off cancellations? I mean, if a dozen more people cancel they're making hundreds of dollars FOR NOTHING. Hmm...
MORAL OF THAT STORY: Highway robbery is occurring online.


Don't Forget To Vote!!!

TMI Tuesday

1. By what nickname(s) were you known as a child?
I am the only one that never had a nicknack but my mom used to call me her little kumquat or pretty much any sort of food item that sounded even remotely affectionate (i.e. pumpkin, etc.). Dad has called me Babe for as long as I can remember.
2. Do you have a favorite poem and, if so, what is it? Recite it here, please.
Courtesy of Grandpa Chrissikos:
Well she whistled and she farted and she shit upon the floor
And the wind from her ass blew the kitten out the door.
3. What is your greatest regret in life, something that you failed to do that you wish you did?
That I dropped out of college only to return in my late 20s. If I had it to do over again, I would have certainly stuck it out rather than be in my 30s and still sans degree.
4. You are tired and hungry, but it's too late to cook. If any snack food were available to you, what would you choose and why?
I am crazy about cheese and crackers because they're nice and easy. Like your mom.
5. What is the oldest item of clothing (not jewelry!) that you wear regularly and what do you love about it?
I would suppose this goes to my gray velour pajama pants Miss Kitty bought me from the Gap once. They are the most comfortable things I own and pretty much go right on as soon as I set foot in my apartment.
Bonus (as in optional): Name a movie or TV show that changed your thinking or behavior.
I hate to generalize becuase you all know how much I love to name drop movie titles but almost everything I see changes my thinking in some way. It's probably because of different perspectives or different topics I know little about. Mind you, movies in the vein of Dumb & Dumber clearly do not apply but you get me.

Questions are from here.


Is It Just Me...

...or is Jason Segel this generation's Judge Reinhold?


Don't have much to report really. Just thought I would drop in and say hi.
  • Was late to work this morning. Just wasn't feeling 100%.
  • Get down Giants with your bad selves. I am so stoked the underdog beat Tom Brady.
  • Super Bowl commercial fave: the lizards dancing to Michael Jackson's Thriller.
  • I won $25 in the first quarter. I love football pools.
  • It really isn't a party without Chex Mix.
  • 8 hours with my nephew and a thorough apartment cleaning should count as a gym day.
  • Guitar Hero 3 on Playstation 3 kicks solid ass.
  • Phuck Punxsutawney Phil and his shadow seeing ass.
  • Britney, baby, I hope you get well soon.

Have a good week!


First Of February Haiku Friday

Bye, January
Hello, Black History month
29 whole days
Generous leap year
Three hundred thirty four days
Remain in Oh'Eight
Watching Super Bowl?
Probably not at my house
I have no seating