Bossman sent me those words of wisdom via cell phone this morning. They were in response to the text I sent him last night that read "I've been dumped, Bossman." I don't think that's correct phrasing, per se. If anything, I was the catalyst to the end of what I considered a very serious relationship. I was the one that offered the ultimatum. I was the one that disrupted the mediocrity and comfort. Four and a half years of on-again/off-again. A roller coaster of emotions: friends and lovers; sober and drunk; ups and downs; good and bad. Ultimately, though, our feelings for one another were not mutual and it is for the best that we part ways.
I dragged so many people into this. Spent so much time. Cried so many tears. Not any more. BFF said, "What a way to start 2008." I agree. And that can easily be taken two ways, naturally the ever present black and white. There is the black that represents the sad, the bittersweet memories and the all around upheaval of what was my day to day life. Then there is the white. The white that represents new beginnings, the unknown, and a fresh start. No shades of gray this time. No, sir. There will be no remaining friends or seeing what the future holds. Only goodbye.
This chapter of my life is closed. For good. From here on out there will be no settling. There will be no more good enough. There will only be what is best for me. What I deserve. I am alone now, but not lonely. I'm ready for this.