1.09.2008

Ready For More Hump Day Morality?

Yesterday we welcomed a new moon. Generally, I don't buy into the idea that our life here on earth is affected by that beautiful globe in the sky that is best seen when night falls but I'm becoming a believer. My ex and I haven't spoken in some time because I felt it was becoming inappropriate but guess who sent me a happy new year text message? Yup. He did. Random people coming out of the woodwork. He and I somehow broached the topic of why I was no longer on MySpace and I mentioned there were certain people on there that I didn't necessarily feel I needed to remain in contact with. Well apparently by mentioning those you don't want in your life by name, you end up inviting them right back in... much in the vein of Harry Potter's peeps summoning Voldemort simply by naming he who shan't be named or a vampire being able to cross the threshold of your home simply because you opened the door for them. On the drive to the game, my brother got a phone call from a guy he had pretty much lost touch with. Out of the blue. And that seemed to set the tone for the evening ahead of me because the very person I never wanted to hear from again felt the urge to send me a text message asking permission to call me. I responded with a simple "No." and thought that would suffice. Instead the texts kept coming.
Now I ask you, what is it about me that makes me irreplaceable in the lives of those who have hurt me in the past? When they have me they don't want me but the second I recover from the pain and move on with my life they seem to want to dive back in. I simply do not understand. I have found it close to impossible to cut people out of my life completely. All of my exes end up my friends. I justify this by giving people the benefit of the doubt that they can change, that time heals all wounds, and then I end up in a bad way again. Why does closure elude me? How is it that I can refuse to answer your calls and texts for months at a time yet you still keep calling? How is it that the worse I treat you, the more you want to stick around? I am a grown ass woman and I don't need you! Hell, I don't want you! GET THE FUCK OVER IT!!!
Moral of that story: No means no.

8 comments:

Coodence said...

Good one, dude.

ceedee said...

amen, sista

JsTzznU said...

hahaha I guess I shouldn't email a Happy New Year TXT/email either LOL... somehow I thought it'd be different after 25 years.. ol-well =)

Itchy said...

I'm all about closure. It's my defense mechanism. Somebody hurts me, I close off. Fuck 'em. I don't need that. At least that's how I handled it in the past. Luckily, I've not been hurt in a while. Not truly or deeply. I may be different now. I'll just have to wait and see...

This is also why it takes me a bit to open up to people. To avoid having to do the shut out because of hurt.

OK. This isn't even relevant!

It's just me beginning my stalking of you by leaving rambling, emotionally deep comments. ; )

JsTzznU said...

Oh I see now... LOL. I left a little detail out of my comment!! OOOPS Sorry!!Randi.. I should have said "TXT or email to my "X" "

I'm with ichy hehehe JsT mindless rambles aka stalking =)

Hella said...

That shit is forever happening to me as well.
People need to get a clue man.

I say we both start acting like complete loons and hope it scares all these morons away from us!

Shora said...

Must be true cuz... I'm baaaaaack. Please don't tell me to fuck off. :)

dirk.mancuso said...

You have no idea how mch I can relate to this post...