1.23.2008

Grillz Fo' Ma' Teef

Ok, so I didn't get this kind but wouldn't it be neat if I did? I always wonder how badly these things must smell. Ew. Yesterday afternoon I went for my biannual check up at the dentist. My regular dentist, Dr. S, was busy with a root canal so I got a substitute dentist for my cleaning, Dr. B. Right off the bat, I knew something was different about Dr. B. He greeted me at the door with the dental technician and guided me down the hallway with his hand on my shoulder. When I was nestled safely into the dental chair he complimented how lovely my teeth were and went on to ask if my hair was its natural color because he thought it was so beautiful. Not exactly what I expected as far as bedside manner is concerned but I was lapping it up like a kitty at a bowl of sweet cream.
I explained to Dr. B that I have had problems clenching my jaw and grinding my teeth at night to the point that the ringing in my ears from the pressure will wake me from a deep sleep. This leads to symptoms of TMJ, massive headaches and all around discomfort. My brilliant plan of attack was to buy an athletic mouth guard at Big 5 for $1.99. My mouth, however, outsmarted me and decided to spit that sucker out the second I started sawing logs. Dr. B was a little more realistic and recommended I splurge for a custom fit sleep guard. Little did I know, those bad boys run about $400 each. Not for a set. Top or bottom. Being the nice guy that he is, though, he decided that he would give me both for the price of one. The woman who took my money said, "Wow, Dr. B must really like you."
He went on to ask me if anyone had witnessed my night time oral activities (minds out of the gutter, people) and I told him my ex had woken me up more than once to tell me I was grinding my teeth. He repeated, "Your ex" and smiled. Apparently, when the technician took the mold of my teeth, she decided to leave most of the plaster on my chin. Dr. B was kind enough to gently pick the remnants off and comment that my skin must be sensitive because each time he touched me, I flushed red. As he finished my cleaning he rose to his feet and gently cupped my face with the palm of his hand saying he'd see me next week when I picked up my mouth guard.
Could he be smitten?
MORAL OF THAT STORY: Cleanings twice a year are good for your teeth and your self esteem if you've got the right dentist.

6 comments:

Buzz said...

Smitten fo sho.

That's like borderline shit going on. Good stuff though, glad you're getting a guard.

For me, though, the whole plaster casting process sends me into a panic attack. I hate it. Gagging on plaster, trying to stay still. No fun at all.

B.

Itchy said...

I so need a new dentist...I don't get sexually harassed near enough at mine. ; )

Katy said...

I am with itchy....I coulduse some sexual harrassing as well and I grind my teeth......

Hella said...

Aww he was so digging on you!!
Always great to have someone make you feel good!
This post made me smile and giggle!!

dirk.mancuso said...

Um, yes...it seems to me that the dentist man was most smitten with you. And I found the whole thing to be very charming and sweet.

Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

All I get are freaks doing bird impressions...

Lisa..... said...

I am afraid of the dentist...and bugs. I know it's girly, but maybe I could get over it if I knew DR. B...