Why's he hiding his crotch?
Why after 5 years of acquaintance do we stand beside one another like we just met?
Why does the flash make it look like I'm wearing dangly earrings?
Why didn't my dad get my saucy, brown fishnet tights and leopard stilettos in this shot?
Why can't I be the subject of a photograph where my eyes aren't red (seriously, scroll 2 posts down)?
Help me out, people.