Moral of that story: Live your life to the fullest and as though today might be your last.
Sam: We're smoking reefer and you don't want no part of this shit.
Dewey Cox: You're smoking *reefers*?
Sam: Yeah, 'course we are; can't you smell it?
DC : No, Sam. I can't.
Girl Groupie: Come on, Dewey! Join the party! [takes a hit off a joint]
Sam: No, Dewey, you don't want this. Get outta here!
DC: You know what, I don't want no hangover. I can't get no hangover.
Sam: It doesn't give you a hangover!
DC: Wha-I get addicted to it or something?
Sam: It's not habit-forming!
DC: Oh, okay... well, I don't know... I don't want to overdose on it.
Sam: You can't OD on it!
DC: It's not gonna make me wanna have sex, is it?
Sam: It makes sex even better!
DC: Sounds kind of expensive.
Sam: It's the cheapest drug there is.
DC: [at a loss and out of excuses] Hmm.
Sam: You don't want it!
DC: I think I kinda want it.
Sam: Okay, but just this once. Come on in.
Preheat oven to 350 degrees
For the cookie:
1 cup softened butter
2 cups granulated sugar
15 oz. ricotta cheese
2 tsp. anise
4 cups flour
1 tsp. salt
1 tsp. baking soda
Combine these ingredients, bake from 10-12 minutes until golden brown and then let them cool.
For the frosting:
1/4 cup softened butter
1/2 tsp. vanilla
3-4 tbsp. milk
3-4 cups confectioners sugar
When the cookies have cooled and you've gotten your frosting to a nice spreadable texture, throw the 2 together and decorate with sugar crystals or sprinkles. This recipe makes a whole lotta cookies that are divinely rich and indulgent.
Moral of that story: Kids aren't meant to be bred into show business so they can be their parents' meal ticket.
I babysat this past weekend. Three days with three boys who were not mine. Ages 7, 10 and 14. Dragging them all over LA County to fun places like the movies and hockey games. Over the course of the weekend, I was forced to use popular phrases like: "When I was your age", "Because I said so," and "Is that where you found (fill in the blank)." I turned into a drill sergeant and was running a tight ship but the whole time I was popping aspirins and antacids like they were candy. Add to that mix an obsessive compulsive, ball chasing Schnoodle and a dumb as a rock Labradoodle that thought pissing in my room was a good way to let me know I should no longer be sleeping and you have a recipe for a good time.
Moral of that story: When you retire from babysitting, stay that way.
Taking Prozac in the morning when all along you've been taking it before bed time can seriously affect one's mood for the remainder of the day. Your boss may mention that he'd like advanced notice on the days you are going to be manic. You may or may not end up bouncing off the walls and threatening to throw hot candle wax in the eyes of your employer. You may at one point after being shot in the eye with a rubber band by said employer, end up chasing him down the hallway to run and hide in the men's lavatory causing his partner to come out of his office to see what the hell is going on. You may also try and retrieve paperwork from a warehouse employee and cause him to fear for his life and also bolt to take cover in a safe haven.
Moral of that story: Don't mess with prescription pills.
Why's he hiding his crotch?
Why after 5 years of acquaintance do we stand beside one another like we just met?
Why does the flash make it look like I'm wearing dangly earrings?
Why didn't my dad get my saucy, brown fishnet tights and leopard stilettos in this shot?
Why can't I be the subject of a photograph where my eyes aren't red (seriously, scroll 2 posts down)?
Help me out, people.
Dudes, I am DONE shopping! Woot Woot!
2. What is your favorite cartoon (current or past)?
I'm going to have to go with Family Guy here.
3. On a scale of 1-10, how competent are you on home repair projects?
I give myself an 8 here. I'm no pro but I'm definitely picking up the slack when it comes to my no skills having dad.
4. What is your favorite holiday tradition?
Hands down I would say it has to be making pizzelles with Ma and Gran though I have to miss it this year. Sad.
5. Describe your favorite kiss? Do you give it or receive it?
Any "kiss" coming from Ethan is always a good time. I mostly give because receiving would require me being covered with his slobber. Oh, babies and their open mouth kisses.
Bonus (as in optional):What is the best holiday gift you have ever gotten? Best you've given?
I am always happy with all my gifts. The most useful has been my camera that I got last year but my favorite is probably my diamond earrings. Best I've given? Well... I don't know. My gifts tend to border on safe and practical as opposed to outstanding.
Questions are from here.
I'm finished shopping
- Animal Vagina
- Arab Women Smelly Vaginas
- "Going in my pants"
- Burnt Armpits
- Happy Poo Dodger Game
- Lesbian Faeces (who spells "feces" like this?)
- List of names given to the ways in which you pass faeces in relation to the shit list (I did not make that up.)
- Secret Vibrator Hiding Places
- Urge to poo during my period
- Whale vag
There are also A LOT of boob searches yet nary a boob to be found here but me.
1. Patrick Warburton has the best voice in show business.
2. I like Renee Zellweger a lot better when I don't have to look at her pinched up little face.
3. Jerry Seinfeld and Oprah Winfrey must be tight like two butt cheeks if he managed to get her high-falootin' ass to do a voice over.
4. The dwindling bee population has dire consequences.
5. And everyone's job, no matter how little, is important.
I really enjoyed watching this movie. I'm sure the fact that it was both born of Dreamworks and is animated has a lot to do with that. Ultimately, though, if I was a chirruns, I think I would be utterly bored by it. But that's just my opinion. I especially like the pushpin/bee stinger sword fight between a loading dock worker and Seinfeld's character and there were a few other laugh out loud moments but I don't think I'm telling anyone to rush out and see this one. I'm just glad I got to go for free! Oh yeah, watch out for the bear in the courtroom. Hilarity.
It has been years and years since a "partner" has purchased me something sexy but I think he had both of us in mind.
2. What are 3 characteristics of "your type"?
b.) Great smile
c.) A "bear" of a man
3. On a scale of 1-10, how good a cook are you?
Dude, I don't cook. I'm a preparer of many food items but cooking isn't my bag. I guess I'd give myself a 5 here. Average.
4. Tattoos: Love them or hate them. On you? On a partner?
I love them! I have 5. If the art is good what's not to like? I take a pass on dudes that have "Trust No Bitch" tattooed on their neck though.
5. Stubble: Good or bad? How often do you shave?
Stubble can be good but it can also itch like a mo'fo. I shave a couple times a week if the spirit moves me. I suppose if I was gettin' frisky with someone I'd shave more often.
Bonus (as in optional):What are a few of your favorite things (both sexual non-sexual)?
Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things
Cream colored ponies and crisp apple streudels
Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles
Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings
These are a few of my favorite things
Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes
Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes
Silver white winters that melt into springs
These are a few of my favorite things
Nah, just kidding.
Sexual - cuddles and kisses on the neck.
Non-Sexual - puppies, coffee and Ethan.
Per usual, questions come from here.
1. I attempt to get out of bed in the morning multiple times before I actually emerge from the sheets, at times sitting completely up and throwing off the covers and then immediately lying back down and re-covering myself.
2. I am an obsessive deleter of all things. This means I am constantly purging old emails and clearing my cell phone's Recent Calls and text messages. I seriously don't know what I'm trying to hide.
3. I seem to have mastered "whistle-speak" that you may recognize from such cartoon characters as Herbert from The Family Guy or the beaver from Lady and the Tramp.
5. I love Britney Spears unconditionally even if she is a trainwreck. I am well aware that she lacks the ability to sing. My love has nothing to do with her making fabulous music or how she looks. I don't expect anyone to share these feelings or to understand them.
6. At home I rarely drink water from a glass. I mostly use my Nalgene 32 ouncer or drink from a plastic bottle. And I will NEVER be able to sip water through a straw. Ick.
7. When turning a corner, 9 times out of 10 I will hit the curb with the rim of my tire. I blame poor depth perception, Eli tells me I just don't drive very well.
I'm not much of a tagger these days but feel free to play along! Or you can list the random things I do... Cod? Hair? Hmm?