Fuckin A Haiku Friday

The week is over
This one was a doozie, man
Sofa King busy
Christmas lights are up
All around the neighborhood
Need to play catch up
So long, November
You were good while you lasted
Welcome, December



Sarah Jessica Parker. Paul Reubens. Disney. An 80s movie. What's not to like? If it's been a while since you've seen Flight of the Navigator, it might be time to revisit it. In my opinion, it ranks up there with The Goonies as far as favorite childhood movies. I bought my DVD at Best Buy for a whopping $6.50 and it was money well spent. This is one of those movies that my little brother Cyooorteeees and I used to watch over and over when we were wee chirruns and I was awash in nostalgia when I threw this in. The "special effects" may seem cheesy now but they blew my mind when I was 9 years old, for sure. Anyway I was at a loss for blog fodder and haven't been to the actual theater in some time so this is all I have to offer. Enjoy!


Feliz Cumpleanos, BABE!

BFF's hubby is 30. Welcome to the club, big guy.


Is It Really Monday Part Deux?

My goodness. You would think Bossman had been gone for the last two weeks and that we had a four-day holiday break the way I've been busy! Busy hands are happy hands and being busy "keeps me outta the bars" (thanks, Dad) so I'm not complaining, it just feels odd to not be able to blog first thing in the morning like I used to. Makes me feel a bit upside down frankly.
Today I was able to register for next semester so I'm feeling a metamorphosis coming on. Like emergence from a cocoon, shedding my current class will be oh so nice. I'll be just like a butterfly/student hybrid. Watch out for my giant proboscis. Don't actually know where I'm going with any of this. I guess I was just looking for an excuse to use a big ol' scientific word. Crusty should be proud.
So yeah. School. I'll be taking two classes. My Spanish class (finally! a class pertaining to my major!) will be Monday and Wednesday from 2-4 pm. I'm getting some beef about this but I doubt my work will be affected that much with 4 hours of absence a week. Then it will be back to work for some catch-up and a return to campus from 6-7:15 for a California History and Culture class. Learn a bit about my roots. Or something. I like the idea of this schedule. Leaves lots of time for gym going. Cuz I rejoined. And stuff. Wow... days like this I wonder if it's even worth blogging. What a bore!



Read This Book

I just finished reading Case Histories by Kate Atkinson. I feel like it would be in your best interest to read it as well. I'd heard about this via the last article in an old Entertainment Weekly. HLP loaned me her copy randomly and I devoured it. Stephen King's cover blurb sums it up best:
"Not just the best novel I read this year,
but the best mystery of the decade... I defy any reader not to feel
a combination of delight and amazement."
The story revolves around several cases taken on by a private detective named Jackson. One missing person, one unsolved murder and a mystery disappearance... they all tie together so nicely. And it's quite British so I adored it. Go ahead, grab yourself a copy.


My Oldest Friend

birthdaywknd 093
Happy 30th birthday, Crusty.
28 years of friendship that has turned into sisterhood.
Don't know who I'd be without you.

Tryptophan Hangover Haiku Friday

I'm at work today
Supervising floor cleaning
Do not envy me
Ate too much good food
Pants are tight, tipping the scale
I rejoined the gym
Back on the saddle
Damn you, Halloween candy
You gave me fat rolls


Ethan's First Steps

Just Like BFF

I am thankful:
  • My health has been much better since the tonsils were removed
  • My ability to make the Jetson's car/Wookie sounds has returned
  • My family is close even if sometimes it leads to drama
  • My nephew has taken his first steps
  • My car has only 12 more payments
  • My friends all manage to keep in touch even though they live far away
  • My schooling seems like it's almost over
  • My parents bought me a La-Z-Boy for Christmas
  • My job hands out fat bonuses
  • My finances seem to be in order
  • My lengthy holiday weekend starts in 9 hours

I hope you all have a fantastic Thanksgiving and that you can make a list twice as long as mine.
Happy Turkey Day a day early.



Do you know of this place? After our visit to the Wild Animal Park and a hearty dinner at Claim Jumpers, Buzz and I decided to call it an evening, grab a six pack and watch a DVD rather than go out to the theater as there isn't really anything playing that we're super excited about right now. Before I go any further, how about that last sentence? That was over fifty words long. Wow. Anywho, I foolishly suggested that we stop at Ralph's since it was in spitting distance. Buzz pretty much scoffed at that idea and told me we were heading to the Bevmo. As we were driving there I wondered to myself, "What exactly is a Bevmo?" when its red sign shone like a beacon through the night. Directly in front of me was essentially a warehouse of alcohol: every type of beer, wine or hard liquor you could possibly think of. Anything and everything affiliated with drinking could be found in this amazing place including but not limited to the Margarator and a rolling weenie cooker like you'd find at your local 24-hour convenience store. All the while we were shopping I was planning a return to San Diego with a semi-truck to load up on all the liquid goodies my little heart desired. Little did I know, a Bevmo exists in Thousand Oaks, a mere 20 minute drive away. I felt like Christopher Columbus discovering the new world and quickly proceeded to interrogate everyone I knew whether they knew of this amazing place. What shocked me more than anything was that my family as well as several of my closest friends and coworkers already knew of Bevmo's existence. How could they withhold such valuable information when they know I am a booze hound? Did no one care about me and my needs? Then, to add insult to injury, while I was watching Court TV last night per usual, an advertisement ran for Bevmo. I believe there is a conspiracy against me.


The Whale's Vagina Wild Animal Park

Don't you love my hat?
Teeth like Ethan and an underbite.
It's rude to bite your toenails in front of guests.
Heck, yes we did!
Christmas gift idea? Parting gift?


Mad Vag Haiku Friday

Missing my parents
Absence made my heart grow fond
And Gran's bitchiness
Going to see Buzz
Down in the whale's vagina
Just to get away
This year is flying
Turkey day and then Christmas
Then two thousand eight


Pennies From Heaven

Just when I couldn't be in a seemingly worse financial situation, someone upstairs decided to shower me with money. I was down to about $16 in my checking and $5 in my savings with bills piling high and days past due. Not only that but I've been using my credit cards like they're going out of style even though I know how much trouble that can cause me in the long run. But yesterday was bonus day and it would appear that all my hard work did indeed pay off. I was able to pay the entire balance of a credit card, those past due bills are no longer on my desk and my savings account has been replenished. On top of that, my checking account no longer looks like it belongs to a preschooler.
It's funny, the other day my bong, which I use to smoke tobacco products of course, rolled off the counter top and the bowl broke. Wouldn't you know it? The next day I won that football pool and was able to get it fixed without it hurting my already depleted funds. Then I started to stress about Christmas and going to Disneyland with Crusty and how I could afford all of it when I get an email from the family I used to nanny for. They want me to house/dog/babysit for a weekend. I told them that if they covered the cost of my gas that would be awesome and she countered with paying me $250 instead. I don't know who is watching out for my finances because it certainly isn't me but I just want to say THANK YOU!!!


Happy 60th, Moo Lady!

My Beautimous Mother
Isn't she lovely?
Isn't she beautiful?

That's my mom and today she is enjoying her birthday on a cruise ship in Bermuda. Must be nice. Since she left a week ago I have a new found appreciation for her and all the things she does when she's here. It wasn't long ago that I realized she and I weren't just relatives but we were friends, too. Know how I knew? She bought me a pillow that says, "A daughter is just a little girl who grows up to be a friend." Cheesy but true. She's a great mom, grandma, daughter, sister and friend. Three cheers for the elderly!


Big Winner

Thanks to my good buddy Maine over at Bacon After Dark I made $33 profit this morning. That's right, 'tis the season of football pools circulating around our office. Since I know nothing about football, this is basically gambling by way of bookie via Gmail chat. He is my "go to" guy for the picks. My grandpa on my mom's side used to play and Lord knows football always seems to be on when he visits or if I'm at a bar so there really is no justification for my lack of knowledge or my ignorance of the game. Personally, I find it to be dreadfully slow but when I voice that opinion it's generally met with "Oh my God! What about baseball?!" And while it may be true that baseball is a lengthy game that is not even remotely fast paced and has little to no action, it doesn't seem to constantly be halted and restarted for whatever reason. What's with all the falling down? What is the appeal? I can't even tell who is who when I watch the monitor. All I know is that my brother bears a strong resemblance to Peyton Manning that fills me with glee each time I see his face.

Frannie's boobs and the boys

Do you see it too? Or are you too distracted by the chichis?


Vanish Like Vapor

That's the definition of evanescence in case you were wondering. Why would I bring that up you ask? Well, HLP is one lucky lady and managed to win free tickets to see the band that sports that name at the Santa Barbara Bowl last night. The funny thing is, the SB Bowl is an outdoor venue and it managed to rain all day yesterday. So not only were the metal seats nice and wet, they were cold enough to freeze our buns. You should have seen the two of us huddled in our parkas, hoodies, beanies and scarves fighting the fifty degree chill. It was something to behold. Two bands opened for them: Sick Puppies and Julien K. Mind you, I'd heard of neither of them but they were pretty good.
HLP is the hard rocker in this relationship, I tend to lean more towards cheesy pop. Sue me. Evanescence is a nice blend of the two. The lead singer (I think her name is Amy?) has a very classical voice. It almost sounds like she should be singing in a Broadway musical like The Phantom of the Opera... It's quite a juxtaposition to the hard rocking guitars and drums. Plus? She plays the piano and that is possibly my favorite musical instrument so I was pleased.
Perhaps the best part of the concert, however, was the people sitting in front of us. They were no stranger to the flask and man did they like to sing along. I'm a nosy son of a gun so you know I was eavesdropping and the boy in the striped hoodie in front of me was turning 18 the next day so his compadres decided to get him good and wasted. He kept swaying to and fro in the fashion one does when they are about to boot. It was pretty hilarious. I wonder if he ever chummed or if he was able to tough it out. For HLP's sake, I threw a grito to the band before we left. All in all, a super way to spend a Sunday.


No Rhyme Or Reason Haiku Friday

So, Pabst Blue Ribbon
I drank my first can last night
Poured it in a glass
Check the batteries
In all your flashlights today
Says my calendar
Hub & Bub to wed
And today is the big day
birthdaywknd 098


Brooks & Boobs

Garth Brooks "retired" some time ago. For a while he had a promotion with Wal*Mart but since I don't generally set foot in that hell hole of a store, I was unable to support him in his golden years. Now, he has teamed up with Susan G. Komen to release an Ultimate Hits fundraising compilation. With every CD sold, $10 goes to breast cancer research. This collection consists of 2 discs totalling 33 songs, 3 of them new, and a DVD with 33 videos for only $15 plus S&H. Now that's quite a steal! For all of you honky tonkers that stop by, I highly recommend making a donation. I did and I am just pleased as punch with the purchase! Not only are you helping to preserve precious boobs, but you get to celebrate the master of country music. What I wouldn't give to see this guy perform live. Too bad his shows sell out in milliseconds. Sigh.


Familiarity Breeds Contempt

You may lack ambition, but not the ability to succeed
Since I already dumped this on Miss Kitty and Buzz I figured I would throw it up on the blog for lack of better material. It seems I am suffering from a bit of writer's block. Or maybe it's just apathy. All I know is that something is off. Mind you, it's not depression or sadness... it's just a feeling that all is not right in Randi's world. And the fact that I just referred to myself in the third person probably says much. Hell, the fact that I think I have a world of my own is one step away from crazy in and of itself. I've done a bit of pondering why I am in such a funk but can't really grab onto anything tangible.
Ever since I moved out of my parents' house when I was 19 I have pretty much bounced between living arrangements every year or so, maybe two years max. I've been living in my current abode for about a year and a half and am getting that itch to move again, not because I dislike my apartment per se, but because I have been in one place too long.
The same applies to work. Since my first job at the age of 17, I've pretty much worked a max of a year and found something new. That was mostly retail until I found the job at Camp and worked there for four years. I guess now that I'm grown I'm not exactly going to be looking for a new job every year and I think that's what is giving a stagnant feel to my life.
School is progressing nicely and I still have my eye on the prize but I still have 10 classes until I can finally call that bachelor's degree my own. This semester has been a bit of a bust as I had to drop one class and will have missed about 6 days of the other. I just don't have the same kind of motivation as before. It's like I need a new goal or a new focus and I just can't think of anything to devote my attention to.
BFF and I have basically discussed, and will continue to discuss, diet and exercise to death and I just don't want losing weight to be something I obsess about any more. As a matter of fact, after work I have plans to buy pants in size 12 just because I'm tired of worrying about what number is on a tag inside my clothing that no one but me needs to see.
Maybe it's Oxnard and knowing that my secret getaway to San Francisco is no longer an option as my tio has moved to Germany. Maybe I'm overdue for a vacation and knowing that I'm negative hours for at least 6 months is secretly gnawing away at my soul. Maybe I miss BFF and Crusty. Too many maybes.
So that's where I am and why I've been scarce on the blog posting. I am evaluating my life and determining what needs to happen from this point on. Is it my biological clock ticking? Is it the desire to have a yard and a puppy? Is it that I want a family of my own? Is it the Prozac? I guess only time will tell.


Election Day

This week is pretty short on blog fodder, sadly. The best I could come up with yesterday was an exclamatory proclamation, hardly ideal reading material for my faithful follower... s? Today is going to be a bit of the same. TMI Tuesday questions didn't inspire me and I have absolutely nothing going on at the current time. I'm enjoying the silence and solitude that comes with having my parents out of town for two weeks. School is school. Work is work. Blech.





BFF is 30 Haiku Friday

Happy Birthday, Cod
Welcome to the big three-oh
You're joining the club
Big party tonight
And Dia de los Muertos
Sugar skulls galore
Wish I could be there
You, Babe and the Big Apple
La Vida Loca


My Nephew The Neutron

The Inspiration
T-Shirt custom-made by Frannie "Mum"
Side View
Bringing in the rear