That Time

I hate being that chick. The one who has a "bad period." Especially when I've been menstruating for over half my life already. Once a month for the past 18 years. That's 216 cycles I've been through. You would think by now that monthly visit from Aunt Flo would be uneventful. But noooo. Yesterday I got such bad cramps that I actually had to leave work to go home and vomit. Really? I'm 30 years old... this should not be happening. It has always been this way, ever since I "started" at the age of 12 on a field trip to a local water park, Raging Waters - an ideal place for a suddenly pubescent girl to discover that she is bleeding to death. When I was in high school I used to get permission to stay home on the first day of my period because I was inevitably overcome by cramps, cold sweats and ended up lying on the cool bathroom floor, hugging the toilet, waiting until I could hold back the heaves no longer. Then my doctor, the hero, wrote me a prescription for Naproxen, an anti-inflammatory used in Aleve that I credit to this day for saving my ass. Or should I say my uterus? Either way, no more vomiting as a result of cramps. Or so I thought. Thank you, modern science. The birth control pill also deserves a hearty round of applause but that's another story for another day. There really is no point to this post other than to discuss bodily functions but to wrap it up here I guess I'll just ask all the ladies out there how they relieve the symptoms of "the curse." Feel free to discuss.


Itchy said...

Actual vomit? Wow. I'm so sorry. Makes the cramps I had all those years ago not seem so bad. Owwy.

Hella said...

Yeah I guess I am one of the lucky ones. I get cramps, but nothing compared what you had to go through.
I am sorry to hear you are feeling crappy!

exile said...

i'm a little dissapointed randi, you've had that vagina for 30 years now... show it who's boss.

up-ity hatchet wound

*big hugs for randi*

Sassy One said...

Urgh! I was the same way. Major bad cramps that would actually make me hallucinate. I misses a lot of school because of it...but like you, thanks god for drugs and the pill!

Feel better :)