10.24.2007

A Cautionary Tale

Once upon a time there was a girl named Randi. She was a sickly young thing, a delicate flower, and as a result had to take many prescription medications. She had allergies, hypothyroid, mental issues and a desire not to get pregnant. So every night before she went to bed she lined up four prescription pills on her nightstand and washed each one down with a hearty sip of water. Sometimes, however, our heroine liked to do a little puffin' or drinkin' before tucking herself in for a good night's sleep. On one of these nights, it would appear that she lost all control of her muscles and spastically threw the pills to the ground, immediately forgetting about ingesting them. Yesterday, while our princess was on her hands and knees looking for her royal jewels, she found all the pills she had long ago swept away nestled safely beneath her nightstand. "Whoopsie!" she exclaimed when she stumbled upon that little blue birth control pill. After a day of fretting, however, she realized active birth control pills are WHITE, not blue. The blue was simply a placebo, never needed in the first place. She sighed a sigh of relief and she lived happily and unpregnantly ever after. The moral of this story? Getting wasted should take a backseat to remembering your daily dosage of prescription medication.

4 comments:

Coodence said...

Good story, yo!

Itchy said...

I've thought about this subject a few times in my day. For once upon a time I was quite the lush. And yet I never ever ever forgot to take my pill. I guess my desire to NOT be a Mom is supah strong! :)

Hella said...

That is awesome!!!
You always write the best stories!
Have a good night, and don't forget your pill!!!
Just lookin out for ya!!

The old man formerly known as Scooter said...

Why do you have placebos? Are you in a clinical trial for a new medication...By the way, I take meds, too (not birth-control thank you) and the best way to remember is to take them with the beer. Forget that "TAKE WITH PLENTY OF WATER" rubbish on the label.