Booty On Layaway Haiku Friday

Grownup Decisions
She called me "Ma'am" at Starbucks
Guess I'm getting old
A perfect evening
Smoking Loon, baking cookies
and Michael Buble
Labor Day weekend
Shout out to the laborers
Now let's barbecue



  • I bit the inside of my lip and continue to bite the same spot over and over. It has now turned into a wee scab-covered hill that I will inevitably continue to bite until it heals.
  • Did you know 143 was code for "I love you?" Me neither.
  • My professor and I agree that global warming is a scare tactic and Al Gore's money-making scheme.
  • QB showed up at my office unexpectedly last week and has continued to call and ask me to hang out since then. I finally relented last night and we watched TV. No hanky panky.
  • I received two invitations to Dodgers games this week and had to decline both of them due to school and work. Being a responsible adult sucks sometimes.
  • Chicken fried steak, fresh veggies and white cheddar mashed potatoes make for a fine supper. Especially when followed by a Pizookie.
  • It's almost the long weekend and I have nary a plan and I like it that way.
  • The guy that sits in the cubicle behind me clips his nails almost every day. Who has nails that grow that quickly?
  • I've developed quite the fondness for Sun Chips lately.
  • Please leave your recommendations for songs for me to download in the comment section below because I have 50 free ones that I'd like to get crackin' on.


Thanks, BFF

This randi attracts Those We Do Not Speak Of. You must bury it.

Which movie was this quote from?

Get your own quotes:

Birthdays Was The Worst Days

It tells you how many hours and how many seconds you have been alive on this earth and when you were probably conceived. How cool is that? Then, at the bottom, there's a link that tells you what your name means. Kill some time, won't you?

Non Sequitur

"Things that do not follow." It's a perfect way to describe my Business Finance class last night. Our professor is the king of tangents. His sense of humor is very dry and he comes off at first like a total prick but it turns out he's just hilarious. He started off the class saying we're all going to get screwed at some point in our lives and that life, in general, is simply not fair. Then he went around asking all the boys what kind of tee shirts they were wearing because that's his other job. And how he has taught at every university in California. And how he hates Arnold Schwarzenegger because he supported his campaign and the Governator ended up being a liar. And how he is the biggest sports fanatic we will ever meet. He has been married 5 times and divorced 5 times because he attends so many sporting events. His sport of choice? Water polo. Random. I think the highlight of the evening is when he told us that if he had to pick between Los Angeles and Iraq where to drop the next H-bomb, he'd pick LA as long as USC walked away unscathed. When I, shock of all shocks, I corrected him on a math problem he was doing on the dry erase board he said that it wasn't wrong because "I never makes mistakes. I'm Superman." Plus, he's Indian like BFF. Hehe. How can you not love this guy?


Back To School

Last night was my first time back on campus since the end of the Spring semester. A lot has changed over there, that's for sure. New buildings have sprouted up everywhere. Even the bookstore was moved. To the top of a fucking mountain. It was about 80 degrees when I got to Camarillo, quite the shock considering Oxnard was about 10 degrees cooler. So by the time I parked a mile from my class and went on an uphill hike to buy my book, I was a bit sweaty. And? Running totally late. I had five minutes to get from the top of Mount Kilimanjaro back to sea level so I did what anyone in my predicament would do. I scanned the parking lot and found an unsuspecting victim that was getting in his car and I asked him to drive me to my class. God, I love being 30 and having no inhibitions. He may have been startled but I introduced myself and promised not to hurt him. Neither he nor I had any idea where Manzanita Hall was but he managed to navigate us right to the doorstep of my classroom so I could promptly be in my seat for the first word of my Human Resources Management lecture. Nothing like a little curbside service. Poor guy. I wonder if I should have asked him to wait there for two and a half hours so he could drive me back to my car...


Goodbye RAZR, Hello KRZR

Look at my neat new phone. Dodger blue, bitches. Holla.


Saturday's Visit

Buzz and I finally met face to face. He was kind enough to drive up all the way from San Diego (where BFF happens to be right now) and spend the day with lil' ol' me. I decided to start his visit off on the good foot by dragging him to Ojai for an outdoor lunch at Boccali's. Any visit that starts off with a meal that consists of a garden grown tomato salad, eases into a meat and fresh veggie pizza with a thick crust and climaxes with some of the finest strawberry shortcake this side of the Rio Grande, well... it's a tough act to follow. But things were consistently great all day. After lunch we decided to take in The Simpsons Movie. How I am only just seeing this is beyond me. I've been enjoying the cartoon for two decades, since it premiered on The Tracy Ullman Show. Simpsons quotes inevitably become ice breakers, arise at least once a day in casual conversation and are practically responsible for a couple friendships and the bond between me and my brother. I was long overdue. Unfortunately, while watching I was nagged once again by the same feeling I got when I saw Reno 911 in the theater: why did I pay to see this on the big screen? (Did you catch that? I totally linked to my own archives.) While the laughs were there, along with a couple moments that were not necessarily TV friendly, I felt that they could have easily released this as a Fox special and not charged me $9. 25. Remember when matinees were until practically dark? Not so much any more. Anyhoo, there is a very touching moment where Marge has to put Homer in his place and I will admit I was pretty close to tears. And Lord knows, the talent is there. So while I won't put it down, I just don't get this trend of bringing television to the movie theater.
Wow. How'd this turn into a movie review?
Afterwards, we headed out to the Ventura Pier for a leisurely stroll. It's funny, in the span of his visit, Buzz was able to enjoy pretty much all of the weather Ventura County has to offer. It was mild in Oxnard when he arrived, Ojai was warm with an enjoyable breeze, after the movie Oxnard was hot and in Ventura the wind was blowing in a cold front. It's pretty obvious in the pictures below:

This guy was fishing with half a chicken...
why not just eat that for dinner?
I spy Little Miss Sunshine...
Choppy waters at the pier
A most lovely evening
Stormy skies through an artsy eye

Despite the wind and cold, we were able to duck into the bar at Eric Ericsson's Fish Co. on the pier to grab some mutually loved Fat Tire and a nice snack of shrimp tostada. Thank God the mayonnaise-based deliciousness passed disguised and undetected into Buzz's mouth. Naturally, something had to come along to put a damper on our time together. And, no, the blame will not land on the belly tattoo exposing trashy waitress. Mother Nature decided to bend me over and give me a migraine. Incredible. Why wouldn't she? Sigh. Luckily, Buzz was very sympathetic and understanding and from what I understand, I didn't totally ruin our fantastic day together. So I sent him on his way with a baker's dozen of my famous chocolate chip cookies and a smile on our faces.
Thank you, Blogger, for bringing these two crazy kids together when the likelihood of us finding each other on our own seems highly unlikely.


Anticipation Haiku Friday

(no reason really but seriously wtf?)

It has a brand new meaning
X-Rated at best
Reveling Blogger
She has conceded defeat
Nice job, Mr. Vholes
He'll be here so soon
Visit to the 805
Testing the waters


Death By Snu Snu***

And speaking of blogger friends, one of my girls is going through a hard time right now. Innocent until proven guilty. That's all I will say about that. We, too, have been online acquaintances for some time now and I think she's the cat's pajamas. Sadly, there's another blogger out there, though I shan't link to her here, that finds it appropriate to "revel" over the fact that my girl is going through a rough patch.
By way of Mr. Vholes I mosied over and left her the following comment:
You know, reveling is rude. It doesn't make you look better to shit on someone when they're down. It just makes you look petty.
To which she replied:
Dear, sweet, amazonian, ignorant, Randi. As usual, the most ignorant and least involved are leading the charge to protect the virtue of someone only truly gifted at kissing ass and paying lip service (literally and figuratively). But considering the group, this comes as no shock. You are all so cute in your syncophantic self-righteousness.
My favorite part about her reply is that she immediately resorted to name calling. Only Amazonian? Is that an insult? That I'm a female warrior? Well, hell. I'll take it. Yup, she nailed it: I'm 5'8 and a buck sixty five so I'm not a petite little flower. But what does that have to do with anything? And did you catch that I'm ignorant? Because she mentioned it twice in less than ten words. And how am I self-righteous? Isn't she? Sigh. Her argument is nonsensical at best. And I'm glad she broke out the thesaurus for the word "syncophantic" because man, do I feel like a country hick now. And just for the record - spell check doesn't even recognize that word. The group she is referring to is a tight community of decent bloggers who I am proud and pleased to be affiliated with. So all in all I guess the only way to respond to this is to stoop to her childish level and say:
She's dumb.
The End
***Snu Snu



Since March of 2006, a certain blogger, who shall go unnamed, and I have been corresponding by way of commenting on one another's blogs, rounds of e-mail tag and afternoons on Google chat. It started simply enough on the common ground that we both resided in the 805. Over time, though, it has developed into nothing less than a solid friendship with both of us hopeful it may have the potential to be more. He's coming to see me this weekend and we're going to meet for the first time. Honestly? It's all I can think about right now. I'm nervous. Excited. Giddy. So cross your fingers for me.
It's funny, this online meeting thing. Over the years I've tried dating sites, social networks like MySpace, even Craigslist to meet people. For the most part, it's just been a bevvy of freaks and weirdos. That all changed for last year when I met Kevin. Then I see how the world wide web has made a little love story out of Hella and Exile and I have to admit it gives me stomach butterflies. Not in an insane way, mind you. Just a fun, anticipatory way. It used to be you had to sort of find someone that was local when you wanted to meet people. By way of blogging, I have met people all over the United States and Canada that I wouldn't hesitate to call friends. I know I've said this before, but I'm so grateful to have "met" all of you and hope one day we can make it a face to face.
Signing off on Cloud 9.


Una Pregunta De BFF

Have you or have you not heard of a Chick - O - Stick?
Have you eaten one?
If so, are you from the west coast?
Please comment below.

Vehicular's New Shoes

040507 018

Jesus Harold Christ on a crucifix. I love driving my little Turbo but she is sucking my bank account dry. Now I know how a man must feel to be married. Zing! But seriously, folks. After the blowout on Saturday night I knew that at least one new tire was in my near future. When I examined the others, I saw that one was in pretty bad shape, the other is about 50,000 miles old and that left me with one decent tire. That would be the one I had to buy last year when I found a nail sticking out of my sidewall. The cynic in me thinks it must have been some punk kid with a nail gun when in reality someone probably hit a nail while they were driving and it ricocheted into my tire. So I figured, screw it, let's get a brand new set. Thankfully, the good people at GoodYear have a credit line that gave me an $80 rebate and 4 tickets to the San Diego Zoo to take away some of the pain of my total: $957.59. Yowza! Nothing like some high performance tires to run you right into bankruptcy. "Luckily" I have something like 90 days interest free to pay those bad boys off but I'm still feeling the sting. Now I've got about 800 miles before I have to drop several hundred more dollars on Vehicular for her 50,000 mile service. Add that to the price of gas and my already sky high car and insurance payments and let me tell you, I'm just thrilled at the amount of money I'm spending just to be able to drive. Ah, the joys of car ownership.


Vamos A La Playa

Growing up in a coastal community in California is always something I take for granted. I mean, how many people live within walking distance of the beach? How many can enjoy the fog that rolls in or the cool ocean breeze? It is truly something to appreciate. Only I hardly ever do. Take for instance, yesterday. It was an absolutely perfect day outside and what were my plans? To sit on my couch and read. Indoors. Luckily I am friends with someone that hearts the beach and is a surfer/boogie boarder and he invited me to accompany him. So I threw on my swimmers and grabbed my bag full of beach supplies and we were on our way.
Did we go to the beach within walking distance? No. That would be too simple. Instead we drove north about 15 miles, just past Ventura to the state beaches. When we arrived, the dogies were at play, the sand crowded with fellow beach go-ers and the air filled with the playful shrieks of children. It was a gorgeous day without a cloud in the sky. I lathered up in my SPF15 sunblock and cracked open a Pacifico and a set off to finish the book I was reading. For anyone that is interested in true crime stories or history in general, I highly recommend Erik Larson's The Devil In The White City. It's about the Chicago World Fair in the 1890s and how it came to fruition with a backstory of a serial murderer on the loose during that time. I learned so much and was highly entertained, a win-win for sure.
After much reading and lounging I decided that I should test the waters. I started with a tiptoe into the cold and was immediately covered in goosebumps and retreated back to the warmth of my towel. Then I saw how much fun everyone was having and decided to go for it. So I plunged ahead and ended up swimming for over a half an hour. Once my body was acclimated to the temperature the water felt glorious. I felt like a kid again, jumping in the waves. When I was too exhausted to continue I stepped back on the sand and was dizzy from the weightlessness of the ocean. I could have slept there on the sand, with the sound of the lapping waves singing their lullabye to me. Sigh. It was, all in all, a great day. A day that could have been wasted in my apartment. Moral of that story? There's a whole world out there, give it a go.


Rockies 7, Dodgers 4 In 14

My Kickass Beer Coozy
Signature Reflection Shot
My Pink Hair Matches My Tank
Eli Hates His Picture Taken
Kickass Seats
On the way home at around 11ish (we left at the 11th),Vehicular got a flat tire on the 134 freeway. It was sort of scary just because the fear is there that I would hit someone else or lose control of her but I got to the shoulder without problems. Eli, even after many beers, jacked her up and exchanged her booboo for the spare. It was pretty awesome. Manly. It's sort of ironic because we left the game early because I was getting very sleepy and didn't want to put my driving at risk and we ended up getting home around the same time we would have gotten home if we'd stayed. And the driving was put at risk anyway. Go figure.



"Randi and HLP give it two thumbs up!" Considering my movie going experience started off with the yells of "FOCUS!" bellowing about the theater, things didn't seem like they were going to go very well. Then the trailer for this movie came on and things started looking up. They pretty much stayed up and I can honestly say I laughed consistently, sometimes harder than others. There were bits that were off a little timing-wise but all in all Superbad is definitely a must-see for anyone that ever went to or is enrolled in high school. Boy does it ever make the memories of first time, drunken make-out sessions and underage drinking come flooding back. I read in Entertainment Weekly that Judd Apatow and Seth Rogen didn't feel a realistic movie about high school could be made without an "R" rating and I think they're right. The language is blue to say the least but it's just like how we used to (haha "used to!" - still do) talk amongst friends. And the best part about Superbad is how it can make you practically wet your pants with laughter in one minute and can make you say sigh with sentimentality in the next. Well, that and the nod to 80s coming of age movies of yore with the gratuitous tittie shot in the first ten minutes. I don't know how they do it, but I hope they keep it up. McLovin is this generation's Cameron. Jonah Hill is as good, if not better, than he was in Knocked Up. And Michael Cera? Well he had me at Arrested Development. It's nice to see George Michael back in action. And it's nice that I can threaten stupid teenagers by saying "Shut your phone, chick" and HLP can snap her fingers and say "Zip it" with ferocity to the jabberjaws behind us. We're bad ass.
P.S. Missed you, Kevin.


Happy Anniversary Haiku Friday

Cod & Babe - Four Years
Basking in their wedded bliss
My perfect couple
She's my BFF
And he's just like a brother
A perfect combo
Here's to many more
And growing old together
Babe, Cod and Randi


Thanks, BFF

Finish the sentences:
1. I've come to realize that my ex is: not really my ex.
2. I am listening to: my fingers hit the keyboard.
3. I talk: too much when really people just want me to listen.
4. I love: E.
5. My best friend(s): keep me going.
7. I lost the ability: make a wookie sound when they removed my tonsils.
8. I hate it when: I don't get my way.
9. Love is: a many splendored thing.
10. Marriage is: eluding me.
11. Somewhere, someone is: kicking themselves for fucking me over.
12. I'll always be: working on improving myself.
13. I have a crush on: Jim from The Office.
14. The last time I cried was: when I took a joke too personally.
15. My cell phone: will be ready for upgrade on August 25th.
16. When I wake up in the morning: I always hit the snooze at least once.
17. Before I go to sleep at night: I snuggle with my teddy bear.
18. Right now I am thinking about: the answers to these questions.
19. Babies are: great because you can give them back to their parents.
20. I get on MySpace: no longer because I QUIT!
21. Today I: am going to see my nephew at lunch.
22. Tonight I will: partake in a whole chicken with my brother and his family.
23. Tomorrow I will: see Superbad come hell or high water.
24. I really want: to have more vacay so I can visit BFF and Crusty on the right coast.
25. The person most likely to repost this is: your mom.


El Fuego

***Update***DUDES! This was post 300 here. Dang.
So it would seem that Southern California is burning. Perhaps I should consider relocating. There has been a fire raging just north of here since the fourth of July that will potentially burn until September. Then last night there was a fire in Griffith Park. The sky is a lovely shade of brownish gray and the sun looks like a blood orange. Vehicular is covered in ashes and I imagine it's only a matter of time before the inside of my apartment has a lovely layer as well. No doubt, a headache is soon to follow.
Earthquakes. Fires. Potential hurricanes. What's next? Locusts?
So just for shits and giggles, I was wondering what I would save should a natural disaster come to the 805. I think it would have to be my beautiful digital camera and my laptop. I have my music there and most of my pictures plus many personal documents. Methinks the actual paper albums would be too cumbersome to escape with.
What would you save? And I don't mean pets or people.


Now That's What I Call Tired

E at approximately 1:00 a.m. on Sunday sleeping next to Auntie

TMI Tuesday Again

Questions are here. And until I get out of this funk, we'll be seeing a lot of these.

1. Define "infidelity" as it relates to a relationship. Have you ever been guilty of infidelity? Have you ever been the victim of infidelity? Have you ever been a participant in someone else's infidelity?
In my humble opinion infidelity is being dishonest in a relationship. I am guilty of this and have been the victim as well. I do not condone cheating or lying so I hope that I was not a participant in encouraging anyone.
2. What is the last thing you stole?
Cable. Though I don't consider it stealing, I bet they do. The dummies didn't disconnect it when I said I didn't want it so I had it free for a year.
3. Name one place in your country that you have never been but would like to visit and why.
I would like to visit New Orleans for Mardi Gras because it just seems like an all-American thing to do. Plus, I'm all about helping the growth of communities and that place got it bad.
4. What movies can you watch over and over again?
Wedding Singer. Tommy Boy. Most any 80s comedy. Anything with Will Ferrell or Steve Carell. I'm a habitual re-watcher.
5. Who is the last person you saw naked?
Aside from myself this morning in the mirror I guess that would be Eli.
Bonus (as in optional): In honor of the 237 reasons we have sex study. Tell us at least five but not more than ten reason you have had sex.
1. Horny
2. Drunk
3. Desire to sleep afterward
4. Feels good
5. Good times


No Point Really

  • I quit MySpace.
  • My brother is engaged to his baby mama.
  • I have a bit of a hang over.
  • And since 1995 is back in full force, here's a meme about it:

1. Who was your best friend? Coodence
2. What sports did you play? I didn't have the skillz to play in high school.
3. What kind of car did you drive? An '87 gray Ford Taurus. And driven it was.
4. It's Friday night, where were you at? Probably babysitting. Or with BFF and Miss Kitty.
5. Were you a party animal? I certainly thought I was.
6. Were you considered a flirt? Always have been, always will be.
7. Ever skip school? Nope cuz our dumb school would call our folks.
8. Were you a nerd? Speech team. 'Nuff said.
9. Did you ever get suspended/expelled? Nope.
10. Can you sing the Alma mater? I probably could but why would I?
11. Who was your favorite teacher? Mrs. Wetenkamp.
12. Favorite class? Spanish with Senor Juarez.
13. What was your school's full name? Santa Clara High School
14. School mascot? A generic Saint named Joey.
15. Did you go to Prom? Sho'nuff.
16. If you could go back and do it over, would you? I am kinda living it again right now.
17. What do you remember most about graduation? Crying.
18. Favorite memory of your Senior Year? Trips to Santa Barbara on the weekend.
19. What were you voted in your yearbook? Most likely to be suckered into planning our 10 year reunion. Not really.
20. Did you have a job your senior year? Hallmark.
22. Where did you go most often for lunch? To the lunch line. On campus always. Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, Funyuns and a Pepsi. Maybe a burrito. Yuck.
24. What did you do after graduation? Overstayed my welcome in Oxnard.
25. Who was your crush? I guess it was Willie.

Apparently 21 and 23 chose not to participate in this particular Q&A session...


And Why Not?

Starts at about a minute, fifteen.


Frannis's 24th Bursday! (well, night before anyway)

Why the long face, Randi?
Oh, Grampoodles. Where's Granules?
The Cake
My Folks

The Birthday Girl & My Bro

80s Flashback Haiku Friday

Dad/Daughter date night
A free concert at the fair
Wooing customers
The Motels opened
Sang Suddenly Last Summer
Only The Lonely
The Bangles headlined
Eternal Flame finale
A fireworks send off



There was a 4.5 magnitude earthquake at 12:59 a.m. I was lying in bed, buck nekked, wondering if it was worth it to jump up, get dressed and find a doorway. Eventually I decided to just go back to sleep.

Last week I read Miracle in the Andes: 72 Days on the Mountain and My Long Trek Home by Nando Parrado. There was a biography about this as well as a movie called Alive. It's the story of a Uruguayan rugby team that crashed in the Andes in 1972 and resorted to cannibalism to survive for over two months after all hope of their survival was gone. Neither the biography nor the movie captured it like Parrado's autobiographical tale, however. A very inspirational and against all odds sort of tale.

E has three new teeth coming in up top. Two already on the bottom. How is it that he's not even 10 months old yet but he's a grown man? He weighs 24 pounds. Whopper of a boy he is.

Since my tonsillectomy, I can no longer make my Chewbacca/Jetson's car sound with my uvula. This is a sad realization because it truly is the only talent I possess.

Yeah. That's it.


What's In A (Middle) Name

Sassy did the Middle Name Meme so I stole it from her because I'm not creative this week.

Here are the rules:
1. You have to post these rules before you give the facts.
2. Players, you must list one fact that is somehow relevant to your life for each letter of their middle name.
3. When you are tagged you need to write your own blog post containing your own middle name game facts.
4. At the end of your blog post, you need to choose one person for each letter of your middle name to tag. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged and to read your blog.

My middle name is Anne.

A - Anal retentive. I sort of stole this from Sassy but it applies to me. I have OCD tendencies for sure. Never leave the house without making sure it's straightened up and that the dishes are washed. My desk at work literally looks as though I do nothing all day...

N - Nice. Although in some cases that can be a four-letter word, I'm proud to say that I'm a nice gal. Mind you, I have my moments but for the most part I hear I'm pretty pleasant. Sweet comes up quite often. Hard to believe, eh?

N - Nefarious. When I'm good, I'm very, very good but when I'm bad I'm evil. Don't cross me.

E - Educated. Boy am I glad Sassy did this already or I'd have nothing to steal... I'm still in college working on my bachelor's degree at the ripe old age of 30 but I'm also always on a quest for knowledge. I love non-fiction books and live for educational programming.

I tag BFF, Crusty, Buzz and Itchy. Do it or don't. See if I care.


TMI Tuesday

Questions come from here.
1. What is the worst/corniest pick up line someone has used on you and/or you used?
When Crusty and I were approximately 12 years old one of our mothers dropped us off at the Esplanade mall for a day of shopping sans supervision. Being wee, the pet store was alluring and there were two boys somewhat close to our age (but clearly older) there as well. Their pick up line was "So... do you have any pets?" I would say that tops 'em.
2. Have you ever gone out on a date with someone and went home with someone else? Explain.
I don't know if it counts as a date per se but I went to prom with a friend's boyfriend (with permission of course and it was totally asexual) and ended up leaving with my friend's date. I doubt she was pleased but he later became my "boyfriend" for a whopping two months. Oh, Computer Love. That song brings me back every time.
3. What is the worst thing (spread a rumor, hook up with their SO, etc...) that you did to a friend? Did they do anything to deserve it?
I guess the worst thing I have ever done would be to fool around with the exes of BFF and Crusty. Not sex, mind you. And we were high school kids then but I should have known better. Did they deserve it? No. Not at all. This is one thing I will always feel guilty about even though I know both of them have forgiven me.
4. What is your favorite sex scene in a regular movie (not porn)? Why?
The scene between Salma Hayek and Antonio Banderas in Desperado. Um... why not? Two of the hottest actors in the world sexing it up? Yeah. Hotness.
5. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
My insecurity. What I wouldn't give to feel like my relationships were forever or to look in the mirror and see the sexy bitch that I really am as opposed to the lumpy one I admonish. Or to be convinced that I am smart and a hard worker. And that people like me because I'm good enough and smart enough, doggone it. Had to do it.
Bonus (as in optional): What countries, other than your own, have you had sex in? Was it someone on the trip with you? Someone from that country?
Sadly I have only had sex in the United States. BFF wouldn't give it up in London and I was a virgin during my other world travels.


Mini-er Me Monday

I've lost 5 pounds since the tonsillectomy. Today I slipped on my "skinny" jeans without jumping around or lying on the bed. Last night, even though I was at the land of temptation (a.k.a. The Ventura County Fair), I only had a tiny little cup of chocolate chip cookie dough Dippin' Dots. Yum. I'm back on solids and have made a vow to myself that I won't go back to the old ways of eating. I ate a hot dog wiener (no condiments or bun) on Saturday and nearly cartwheeled with excitement. It's the little things, folks. Since the Vicodin all but murdered my appetite and destroyed my digestive system, I think my stomach has shrunk a bit. 11 days of hardly eating (and NO BOOZE) will do that to a gal I guess. After about a cup of food I'm stuffed. So I'll just try and keep it that way for a while. Measuring my portions. Ultimately I'd like to be down to my driver's license weight of 147 by the first of 2008. We'll see if I can keep on track. I'm only about 20 pounds away... 4 months... 5 pounds a month... doesn't seem totally unrealistic.


Long Overdue Pictures of E

Ethan and Grandpa
Extreme Close-Up
Little Prisoner Dr. Evil & His Daddy
Mom helping with the pinata The new G-ride
Hanging onto Grandma


You Are Elmo

Sweet and innocent, you expect everyone to adore you. And they usually do!

You are usually feeling: Talkative. You've got tons of stories to tell. And when you aren't talking, you're laughing.

You are famous for: Being popular, though no one knows why. Middle aged women especially like you.

How you life your life: With an open heart. "Elmo loves you!"

On The Mend Haiku Friday

One week tonsil-less
No more liquid Vicodin
Now Ibuprofen
Voice is coming back
And so is my appetite
Hurts to swallow still
Dairy? Not so much.
Ice cream diet was a farce
Sad discovery


It's No Dick In A Box

But I love this skit. Shia LaBeouf is a doll. Andy Samberg's smile gets me every time. And Imogean Heap's song "Hide and Seek" is mesmerizing. One Saturday night (live) I had fallen asleep on my couch and SNL ran this. The music woke me and I got to laugh my ass off. They're lucky. I better be rewarded when I'm awoken.

Love Thursday