It's A MeMe Kind Of Week

Courtesy of Buzz...
1. Who was the first person in your life that you thought was hot?
Hot didn't come until later in life when I discovered Antonio Banderas but I'd say my first real crush was Patrick in the 1st grade. He was super cute. Still is.
2. If you could only watch one porno the rest of your life, who would "act" in it, and who would you have direct?
Hot "natural" girly action directed by Tim Burton. Or Robert Rodriguez. Or Quentin Tarantino. I don't have a porn star preference, per se.
3. Pen or Pencil?
4. Can you name all the main characters in the Harry Potter series, if so, what are they?
Hermione, Ron and Harry... and I guess the professors which are numerous that I won't list here. But "Yes."
5. Would you kick Maggie Gyllenhaal out of bed for eatin' crackers?
No. After Stranger Than Fiction and her breast feeding in public she can do whatever she damn well pleases.
6. Who was the last person who made you have the reaction "God-damn I HATE that motherfucker!" when you thought of them?
Paris Hilton
7. Japanese, American, or European? (automobiles)
German... so I guess that is European.
8. Beer or Light Beer?
Fat Tire. REAL beer.
9. Red or White wine?
White, preferably a Riesling.
10. What is your "go to" phrase you tell yourself when things get tough?
Fuck. Oh, wait, my inspirational phrase? Don't have one...
11. That secret that you're keeping, did anyone die because of it?
12. That vacation spot you're thinking of, do you know how to speak the host language?
The language of love? You betcha.
13. When you hear Arabic spoken on the street, does it make you shudder?
No. Thumping bass of the mariachi makes me shudder.
14. When you see Arabic women in public, do you wonder about their vaginas?
After seeing a forwarded email of one, this question made me think of it.
15. Speaking of vaginas, do you support rejuvenation or is it ok to get all flappy with age?
I Support Fistula Reconstruction.
16. Will you tune in when Barry Bonds breaks the home run record?
That Giant can suck my dick.
17. What is that one thing during sex that is a no go?
Anal. And I find the 69 position distracting. Too much going on. I'd rather avoid it.
18. What is that one thing during sex that should be a no go, but you secretly want to try?
Anal. WOAH!
19. When is the last time you bought something for yourself out of pure impulse.
Monday night at Target
20. What was it?
Red KitchenAid pots, pans and utensils for my kitchen.
21. Are you still tight with your parents?
I work for one and the other is sort of one of my best friends.
22. If they aren't around anymore, do you think they'd be proud of you?
They seem to be proud of me but they're a couple of ball busters, that's for sure.
23. What one thing do you want to tell to this year's college freshmen?
Do not drop out. Hang in there and git'r'done.
24. Do you immediately catch yourself being hypocritical, or does it take someone else to point it out to you?
I am very self aware and oft times hypocritical.
25. You've been invited to a movie premiere. You chose to wear jeans with a sport coat and your hair in a "fauxhawk". Are you expecting to get your picture taken or are you just funky like that?
I am just funky like that. And apparently want to look like a man.
26. Say you got a tattoo of the Chinese symbol for "harmony" on your arm, but one day a Chinese lady comes up to you and says "your arm says 'sweet and sour pork makes me gassy'." Do you:
A: Call the little Chinese lady a bullshitter and go about your day?
or B. Rush to your nearest tattoo joint and have the symbol for "In bed" tattooed next to it?
I go about my day sans the name calling and kick myself in the ass for not doing my own research before I got a tattoo in another language.
27. If you could see your first loves' kids today, what secret would you tell them about your ex that they could use as ammunition against them?
Nothing. It's all in the past.
28. What one herb can you not live without?
Does marijuana count?
29. What drug can you not live without?
30. What smell or odor makes you smile?
The smell of death.
31. If your son wanted to give up baseball to pursue acting, would you think he was a homo, or just really horny?
I would think he was talented and following his heart.
32. If your dog left you a dead squirrel on the patio, would you name it before you buried it?
Bury it? Can you say dumpster? I'm not burying my dog's massacre.
33. Have you ever seen snow?
Not falling but on the ground.
34. Do you worry that the warming globe might prevent you from seeing it in the future?
Global warming is a scare tactic to get people to conserve.
35. Would you rather live on the beach, mountains, golf course, or Arizona?
36. Does anything Disney make you want to barf?
I love Disney.
37. Do you have a close friend that is gay?
I have an uncle.
38. Does he/she know that you know?
39. Have you ever felt rage?
Prior to Prozac? Daily.
40. Have you ever acted on it?
I've verbalized it.
41. What was the outcome?
Scared people. Break down. Therapy. Prozac.
42. Are you ok with being brought up in this generation, or do you feel that a past generation would have suited you better?
I like things just the way they are though I do wish people were less apathetic and more accountable for their actions like in the "good old days."
43. If I were your chef for the night, feeding you and yours, what would you want me to make? (and no I'm not doing the dishes)
I would let you decide as there is nothing better than a chef's specialty. And I would do the dishes to say thanks.
And...44. Did you dig this meme experiment? If so pass it along, if not let me know...
I liked it save for the word "homo." Anyone else, feel free to give'r a go.

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