5.08.2007

Spiderbland

Months of hype for this? Really? It would be an injustice if I said I liked the other two Spiderman movies. Loved would be more accurate. I left both of them wishing I could swing through the beautiful sky scraping landscape of New York City, spitting webs out of my hands. I thought, "You're wrong Tina Turner, we DO need another hero." Spiderman made my childhood love of Batman pale in comparison. For so long I have anticipated number 3. When the trailers came on I would allow no ill speak of how it would just be a lame sequel. The third movie is never good they said. But I ignored them and simply shuddered with delight seeing that black suit... wondering what a treat I'd be in for come the first week of May.
What I was in for was disappointment. Plain and simple. Tobey Maguire can still fill out the suit but as Peter Parker his wide-eyed, dorky innocence wore on me. His alter-ego was more cheesy than dark. Plus he was rocking some ridiculous emo Pete Wentz-wannabe hair-don't. Too much Perez Hilton has turned me against Kirsten "Drunkst" aka Snaggletooth. There was not enough of Venom and too much of Sandman though I will say the FX were pretty dope. Seing Eric Foreman and Lowell as bad guys was a bit of a stretch, though. The story was long and disjointed and too often I found myself bored and wanting more action. Ron Howard's daughter was gorgeous as Gwen Stacy but her role was pretty pointless. And did every character have to cry? Really? Sigh.
You guys have no idea how much it pains me to type these words. Congratulations on a big opening weekend but you let me down, Raimi Brothers. Let me think of something nice to say... the cameo by Bruce Campbell of Evil Dead fame as a French MaĆ®tre d’ was hilarious. There.
Wanna make me feel better? Buy me the first two on DVD for my birthday. FOUR MORE DAYS!
My Amazon.com Wish List

3 comments:

Itchy said...

You are the second person to give this a "meh" review. Dammit! I was so hyped to go see it, too. Oh well...

steve said...

All hype huh? :-{

Scooter said...

agree on not enough venom. but bad ass peter parker was pretty funny (before the over-the-top bar scene).