Hump Day Moral Of The Story

On Haiku Friday I mentioned crawling through windows and Fyrchk asked me to expand on that. As I have nothing else I can think of to blog about I thought I would humor her. However, the tale is anticlimactic. Quasibeau no longer has the privilege of keeping my company. His three strikes are up. Part of it has to do with the window thing but it also boils down to a couple other things:
  • Standing me up so he could watch the Lakers game (or in another season, Raiders game)
  • Going out with me and then leaving with his cousins any time he got a better offer
  • Not inviting me to the better offer with him
  • Late night drunken booty calls
  • Never taking me on a date
  • Me not wanting him at my birthday party

So what's the window thing? Well Quasibeau lives with his sister, her husband and their children. Apparently, even though he is the ripe age of 27, he shudders at the thought of them knowing that he has "sessual" relations with the wimmins. Like if he'd spend the night at my house, he would freak out in the morning that his sister would know he was with me. Um, k. Well one night he gave me a drunken booty call and I thought it was only fair that I go to his place. When I arrived he was standing at the open window beckoning me to crawl through. Stupidly, I obliged. He's on the ground floor so it wasn't like I had to climb on the roof or something ridiculous. When I got in I shook my head at myself in disappointment. A 29-year old woman crawling through a window for a booty call? You have got to be kidding me. Flash forward several months and I get another drunken call begging me to come over. On the phone I warned him, "If you expect me to crawl through the window, I will drive my car through the front of your house." Pretty clear, no? I get there and he's standing in the open window. Again. After being warned. Nuh uh. Not this time. In no uncertain terms I told him to walk around and open the "FUCKING" front door and stubbornly stood my ground until he did. Why didn't he want to? Because there were people working on the house. Strangers. Workers. And he was ashamed because I, his "girlfriend" was going to spend the night. The moral of that story? If you have to hide that you're with me, you won't be. Sweet Jesus, I'm fly paper for the freaks.

The End

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3 more shopping days!


Buzz said...

Well, good.

Just make it stick this time, couldja? If he comes back around again, and you take him in, again, it's all on you.

Three more days till 30!

Sassy One said...

Oh dear dear dear.
Cut him loose.
No more windows! Just the opening of doors!

steve said...

yes loose loose loose!!

fyrchk said...

We have all done stupid things. I won't begin to list mine. There isn't enough time in the world. :)

But, it gets better after 30...promise! (Mine didn't take until 32, but that's after 30!!!)

Itchy said...

Good gawd. This dude is not deserving of Randi...

Rachel said...

I say, if you are thirty and you are still climbing into the windows of the men in your life, it is time to upgrade. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAMA! LOVE YOU! RACHEL Hughson