Sometimes it is impossible to keep my moods out of these posts. For this I apologize. Yesterday I was talking to a few of my coworkers and they had gotten into confrontations with their loved ones over the weekend. I, too, had my own little row with my mother that I will chalk up to too much time together in my dad's absence during my spring break. I figured that there must be something in the air. Then last night my brother and I got into a bit of a quick spat and it pushed me over the edge. Probably the combination of these family feuds, this dumb diet and a lethal case of PMS led me to break down in tears. Quite frankly, that ain't right.
Because I am on the cusp of 30, single and without children, I feel like I don't quite fit in with the rest of the family. It may sound silly but I often feel like a 7th wheel. There's my mom and dad, my grandparents, and then my brother and his girlfriend. And all of us live within a 5-mile radius so we're always together. The only other person that used to balance this feeling was my uncle but he took a beau and moved to San Francisco and rarely joins us for holidays anymore. I suppose little Ethan could be my partner in crime now but he's sort of the center of attention so it's not like he and I are going to the side and chatting it up, ya know?
Anyway, I just wonder how much different thing would be if I had a significant other and/or maybe a child of my own. Would I still feel like some kind of black sheep in my own family? And how do I fix this feeling? Do I do like my uncle and simply not show up to family functions? Do I get knocked up? Does anyone else feel like this? Sigh. I'm in a couple weeks all of this will have blown over but right now it's giving me a heavy heart and I just had to get it off my chest. Thanks for listening. Reading.