3.27.2007

Pity Party, Table of One

Sometimes it is impossible to keep my moods out of these posts. For this I apologize. Yesterday I was talking to a few of my coworkers and they had gotten into confrontations with their loved ones over the weekend. I, too, had my own little row with my mother that I will chalk up to too much time together in my dad's absence during my spring break. I figured that there must be something in the air. Then last night my brother and I got into a bit of a quick spat and it pushed me over the edge. Probably the combination of these family feuds, this dumb diet and a lethal case of PMS led me to break down in tears. Quite frankly, that ain't right.
Because I am on the cusp of 30, single and without children, I feel like I don't quite fit in with the rest of the family. It may sound silly but I often feel like a 7th wheel. There's my mom and dad, my grandparents, and then my brother and his girlfriend. And all of us live within a 5-mile radius so we're always together. The only other person that used to balance this feeling was my uncle but he took a beau and moved to San Francisco and rarely joins us for holidays anymore. I suppose little Ethan could be my partner in crime now but he's sort of the center of attention so it's not like he and I are going to the side and chatting it up, ya know?
Anyway, I just wonder how much different thing would be if I had a significant other and/or maybe a child of my own. Would I still feel like some kind of black sheep in my own family? And how do I fix this feeling? Do I do like my uncle and simply not show up to family functions? Do I get knocked up? Does anyone else feel like this? Sigh. I'm in a couple weeks all of this will have blown over but right now it's giving me a heavy heart and I just had to get it off my chest. Thanks for listening. Reading.

4 comments:

Mustafa ┼×enalp said...
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Shora said...

Honey, you're only 29, not 60! You've got tons of time still to meet Mr. Right and have littl'uns. For now, embrace your singleness! Your family loves you for who you are - married, single, childless or whatever. I know you know how lucky you are to have them, and that you're all so close, so chin up babe and I betcha tomorrow won't look so blue. Love ya.

Itchy said...

Your family probably just wants to see you happy. If you show up to family functions all shiny, happy, and confident...you won't think about all that other stuff that doesn't matter.

Angela said...

Hi Randi,
I understand how you feel sometimes. Things will get better for you! I believe it.
Angela