1.18.2007

HNT Retiree

TaurusApril 19 - May 19
Throughout your day today, you may get the feeling that something has changed in the way people relate to each other, dear Taurus. It will be as if people were more sure of themselves, more open and expressive. And where exactly do you fit in to all of this? Are you in a mood to charm other people, just for fun? This period is perfect for taking care of your outward appearance and for getting in shape. Just do it!
Oh, MSN horoscope. Sometimes you're so dead on that it pains me. Sure, everyone has holiday weight gain but this morning I was near tears when I was trying on pants that I can no longer pass off as my size. My shirts are ill fitting and while I know my rack is impressive I have a feeling that the added "back fat" (really trying not to use the "f" word here but what else is it called?) probably wasn't helping to keep the buttons on my blouse from appearing like they were about to pop. There was also some self-belittling going on in the mirror but that's another story for another day. Am I saying I'm not pretty? No. I think I'm doing just fine in that category. Thanks to my amazing hairdresser I have a killer coif and I consider myself a skilled makeup artist so that base is also covered. However? As I dressed this morning, I wondered what was all that hard work at the gym with Perry the Gorgeous and all of the shameful morning weigh-ins at Weight Watchers for in early '06 if I was just going to turn around and put most of it back anyway? Muscle tone? A thing of the past. Sigh. I knew I was going back to the gym on Monday, starting the 5 a.m. regime once again but now it looms on the horizon a wee bit too close for comfort. I need boot camp. Or a gag.
Naturally most of these feelings of inadequacy are large and in charge because I have what some may consider a "date" this evening with someone I've never met face to face and I always get that "what if" tinge. What if my pictures are misleading? What if the remnants of my cold sore make him boot in his nachos? What if I have a "bat in the cave" the whole time we're talking and don't find out until I'm in the car on the ride home? AAAAAAARGH. Lucky for me, he seems hilarious and down to earth and incredibly smart and "above" all that superficial shit or I might really throw myself into some kind of tizzy.
But wait. There's more coming from the rambling mouth of Randi! I'm grateful that last week's HNT was cancelled because I've decided that I don't need it in '07. Sure, everyone's great and the self esteem boost from all the comments is a warm fuzzy but I just don't need the pressure. Or the whole process of picking out the one self-portrait totally lacking in body dimples or rolls. I've got a heavy school schedule that requires all of my focus and I'd rather spend my time taking pictures of others or beautiful scenery than myself. That's all. I'm just moving on. Thanks for a stellar ride. It's been real. It's been fun. It's been real fun.
xoxo

6 comments:

Itchy said...

I cannot image your pictures being misleading. Get that idea out of your head RIGHT NOW!

See, up in that other paragraph you admitted that you are pretty. And you are. So...don't turn around and worry about misleading pictures. Can't happen. So there...

fyrchk said...

Do what you gotta do Sista Grrl.

I hope your date tonight is awesome! You deserve a good one. I will think good thoughts for you today. :)

Sassy One said...

I am the queen of crop my dear. Crop this jelloid ass of mine out! But do what you gotta do!

Have a great date tonight! Is it good Karma that my word verification is "ULOVE" ????

Buzz said...

It's all good by me.



Thanks for your comment Randi, have a great day.


-buzz

exile said...

randi come on, you know you wanna HNT, it's the cat's pajamas or something

besides, i'd hate to start posting your pics for you... a little photo shop action and you'll be, well, popular to say the least
hehehe

seriously, if you're gonna call off the HNT, atleast go out with a bang, for Exile's sake

Shora said...

Same brain again, I could have written this post myself (minus the new guy of course... wanna here more about him btw!). Had my annual full physical yesterday, I've gained 15 pounds since I quit smoking. Sigh. And I too am giving up the HNT thing, besides, I think I ticked off Oz by leaving a comment saying I thought he should take down the picture of the HNT'er who was killed because she had never posted her face. Oh wella, sometimes ya gotta just say whatcha feel.

H non-HNT babe!