Musical Hump Day

I'd like to start today's post off by addressing the fact that the people that comment here on "It's still all about me..." are a bunch of social and/or sexual deviants. Lingerie to school? Sitting on the prof's lap? Roofies? Note to self: Avoid seeking dating advice online. You all are too much yet very effective at putting a smile on this blogger's face. I think for the time being I will be sticking to making eye contact and raising my hand in class to get noticed. Who knows? Before the end of the 15-week semester perhaps something will come of it. If, however, there is no progress made then I'll show up in class in my underpants, mount him and slip him a roofie.
Now I'd like to recommend perhaps the greatest heartbreak song ever written, "Kissing a Fool" by either George Michael or the ever so scrumptious Michael Buble. Siiiigh. I heard that song whilst showering this morning and it summed up every emotion I have right now. Threw that bitch on repeat and sang my little heart out. It's amazing how cathartic certain songs can be. Just this morning I threw in a mix-CD (remember the days of mix-tapes?) Crusty made me that is all over the charts. The songs jump from the likes of Israel "IZ" Kamakawiwo'ole (say that 3 times fast!) singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" to The Oakridge Boys "Fancy Free." And that's just the tip of the iceberg because it also has Guster, R. Kelly, Anthony Hamilton and Jack Johnson. The list goes on and on. There's no rhyme or reason to it at all but this morning it made me feel so good it brought tears to my eyes.
What song moves you to tears or makes it impossible to resist the sing along or rump shakin'?
I can't resist Dolly Parton's "9 to 5."


Post #100

I should have titled yesterday's post "99 Posts But A Bitch Ain't 1" in homage to Jay-Z but clearly I missed that opportunity. Oh well. I do what I can to please the population and still come up short. Right now I feel like I'm up to my ass in alligators so this post will be a sporadic rambling of interest to no one however I feel I must live up to the expectations of a daily entry. I have a serious crush on my nerdy Chemistry prof and am very tempted to slip him an anonymous Valentine as we have class that night. Is that totally scandalous? A student hitting on her prof? I mean, if he's ten years older than me that's pushing it but still. I'd like to take him and his baggy khaki pants paired with a sweater-over-a-collared-shirt combo to a romantic candle-lit dinner sometime. That's all I'm saying. Talk to me, Dr. Schnier, about drugs and protein interactions and ligands. Talk to me faster! Faster! YES! YES! Oh. That got a way from me. All I'm saying is I like the guy. Is that so wrong?
On another note, I've decided a self-imposed exile (no, not that Exile) is just what the doctor ordered. I did not call Punchy last night as I have nearly daily for as long as I can remember.When QB called I missed it but when I returned his call I told him I couldn't see him because of laundry and homework (that was true) so that's another bird killed with the single stone. To say I've been feeling under appreciated of late is an understatement so the best I can do now is take care of me until those dummies start realizing what they're missing. And before I start coming off like I'm flawless, I do realize my shit stinks. Just not as bad. Hehe.



April 19 - May 19

It is time to put away the sentimental feelings for the day and move to something new, dear Taurus. Stop pulling out old photo albums and crying about past experiences. You will only succeed in sinking into a puddle of tears that you cannot pull yourself out of. Instead, this is a day to look to the future and plan for new experiences that you can enjoy with the people you love.

My love life, and I use that term very loosely, has a revolving cast of characters that I'm really considering canning all together. The worst thing about it is that they seem to all pop up at once and then disappear just as quickly. My "goldfish syndrome" has been mentioned here before but I basically am a forgiver and a forgetter and am all about second, third, hell even seventieth chances. Does that make me a doormat? Perhaps. Or it could just mean that I'm up there on Jesus status when it comes to turning the other cheek. More than likely, it's the former.
Anywho, this weekend was all about QB and another ex who shall for the time being be known as Punchy. Not like with a fist but, like, punch drunk. QB fell off the face of the earth and has been slowly trying to get back into my good graces. Punchy, also an ex, has always been around but we've remained the best of friends with benefits only on occasion. Now they're both trying to be with me at the same time, completely unaware of the other for the most part, and I'm stuck trying to figure out what I want. So I thought a good practice would be to list the qualities of my ideal mate here:

  • Employed
  • Baseball and/or hockey fan - preferably both
  • Social drinker but not a functioning alcoholic
  • We should take care of each other - not me of him or him of me but mutual
  • Educated - not necessarily degree-wise but worldly, an avid reader...
  • Lover of movies
  • A cook to balance off my baking/appetizer skills
  • A gentleman that opens doors and walks on the curbside
  • Loves to travel
  • Food and wine connoisseur - or at least an adventurous and not finicky eater
  • Musically diverse
  • Takes care of himself physically - not muscle bound per se but do you go to the doctor/dentist regularly? Are you able to go on a hike or the gym and survive?
  • Hilarious

Is that so much to ask?



When I was in London earlier this month the stage production of Mary Poppins was running in the theater district. Had I stayed longer and brought a few hundred dollars more to spend, it's something I would have definitely liked to have seen. Lord knows it wouldn't be the same minus the delightful Julie Andrews but I'm sure it would be a hoot nonetheless. When I was a babysitter/nanny I would pretty much force the children to watch Mary Poppins (On VHS! The horror!) quite often. I love it. The music? The darling redheaded son and precocious blonde daughter? A surpisingly handsome Dick Van Dyke rockin' the worst cockney accent in the history of film? The uppity British humor? Sigh. So when they released the 40th anniversary edition DVD I plunked down the $20 to call it my very own. Yesterday I got into my pajamas around 5 o'clock in the afternoon (Rough Friday. Long story.) and decided to watch it for the first time in many, many years. I wonder if they would be able to "sell" a movie like this today? If not, I think it's a shame. Mary Poppins is the very essence of a strong, independent woman who explains for nothing, runs a tight ship and is still never cross. It's too bad there aren't more women like her in the world today. I recommend giving this a viewing if it had been a while. It's a good one.


Haiku Friday So Soon?

Gay, Lesbian, Bi
Sexual and Transgender
Last night's class subject
Trying something new
Responding to my comments
On my own wee blog
Seems to me as though
My "Heavy" post touched a nerve
At least with Itchy :o)




Itchy sent me an interesting article this morning that I feel I must share. Tyra Banks is two inches taller than me and weighs about ten pounds less than I do and she was called "porkchop." Is it any wonder that women are obsessed with their weight and that those of us carrying around a few extra pounds call themselves the eff word? I'm serious. I refuse to use that word with a negative connotation any more. It's detrimental and serves no purpose. Fat is something you trim off of meat and something that insulates our body. Fat is not an adjective. No more. When I went to see Dreamgirls with Hetero Life Partner I made what I considered to be a passing comment that I didn't understand how a stage performer (Jennifer Hudson) could be overweight because of all the dancing and rehearsals. HLP proceeded to tell me I had a "prejudice against fat people." I guess in a sense that is true because, really, being heavy is something you can somewhat control. Not to say it's easy or that you should have to but it is avoidable. More movement, less eating and/or better food choices and voila! Problem solved. I guess being heavy is just something I don't want for myself for health and vanity reasons so I tend to project on to other people. Then again, there are many out there that believe big is beautiful and I've definitely seen many a buxom beauty so in no way am I trying to promote the idea that everyone should be thin. Quite frankly, the likes of Kate Bosworth and Nicole Richie make me want to boot while curves like those of Queen Latifah and Salma Hayek make me swoon. So long as you are healthy, knock yourself out. But if you're breaking a sweat and gasping for breath doing a flight of stairs, maybe you need to start thinking about taking care of yourself a little better rather than sue McDonald's. That's all I'm saying.


Feliz Dia De Los Humps

A valuable lesson has been learned since yesterday and that is "Keep your mouth shut and mind your own business." Some familial issues have led me to believe that it would be in my best interest to cut them off for the time being. There is enough going on in my own life that I simply have neither the time nor the energy to deal with other people's drama, especially when it involves people with whom I share a blood relation. Working full time, going to class 4 nights a week and trying to squeeze in grocery shopping and chores and a social life simply does not allow for family. Sorry, guys. You're on probation until further notice.
Last night's class also looks to be quite promising. The fact that my professor's name is Dr. Luda Popenhagen alone makes it worthwhile. And as my Monday prof cherished the word "certainly," the good doctor loves the way "exciting" rolls off her own tongue. Every other word. Watch for flying notebooks. This class is English/Theater so we get to do all kinds of fun exercises, read all sorts of "exciting" plays and at the end of the semester will be putting on a performance. How I wish it was a ticketed event so that you could all come and see my thespian chops in action. THESPIAN. Not lesbian. That is another story for another day. There's a boy named Randy in my class so that kind of sucks. I feel that this class ain't big enough for the both of us leading me to believe a duel of some sort is inevitable. Although maybe I'll cut him some slack because apparently he played baseball with my brother in little league and my dad was his coach. HOW CUTE IS THAT?! I know. Darling.
And, in closing, Vehicular is in the shop so your thoughts and prayers are appreciated at this time. Her check engine light came on when I was coming home from the LBC on Sunday and has yet to turn itself off so she's being diagnosed. The last thing I need is to be stranded in the dark on the way home from school so I'm erring on the side of caution and making sure she's ship shape before we shove off again. Lord knows rapists and murderers love the dark farm roads of Oxnard and Camarillo. Why wouldn't they?

***Update*** Vehicular is back safely in the arms of her owner. Turns out there was a problem with the "thermostat." I have a "don't ask, don't tell" policy with VW so I don't even know what that means but the warranty covered it. Free is good. And apparently so is my warranty because Vehicular has 42,000+ miles on her and is 3 yrs. and 3 mos. old. Your thoughts and prayers worked! Damn. Too bad I wasted 'em on Vehicular and not on cancer cures, huh? Suuuucks.


A New Day Has Come

Every now and then I get the urge to start a blog post with Celine Dion song lyrics. Is that so wrong? And now for the Monday rundown. I never did wake up at 5 a.m. to go to the gym. Well, that's not true. I woke up at 5 a.m. and then told myself, "Myself, go back to bed." So it was written, so it shall be done. It was Monday after all. That's no way to start the week. So instead I decided to watch what I eat all day. I'm not going to sign up for Weight Watchers again but I still have the books and stuff so I figured I'd count points at least and so I did. Actually was a point under for the day if you can believe it. Baby steps. I'll get back to the gym again. I just don't know when at this juncture. I have a little over 3 months until thirty so I'd like to at least get my 10s loose again by then. Man. Reading back over that paragraph it is pretty peppered with the word "I." This blog really is all about me...
So school was great. My chemistry class is on Mondays and Wednesdays for 75 minutes. This professor has the right idea. Apparently he works full time for Amgen so this whole teaching gig is really just for shits and giggles. He pretty much told us he doesn't take attendance because he doesn't really care if we go or not. He also said he doesn't care if we pass or fail because teaching isn't his day job and if the administration wants to get mad at him for us failing so be it. So refreshing. Finally a professor that "gets it" that we're grown-ass people and at this stage in our life education is a choice we make and we don't need professors as babysitters or classrooms as our nurseries. Amen. However, he really seems passionate about his subject matter so this ought to be a very interesting class. He threw the word "certainly" around so many times I nearly struck him with my notebook but that is an obstacle I'm certain we can overcome. Certainly.


Saint Diego

Discovered by the Germans in 1904, they named it San Diego,
which of course in German means a whale's vagina.
Took ourselves a wee road trip yesterday. I drove down to the LBC in the early hours of the morn to meet up with the oh-so-delightful Cin & Omar and as a trio we headed down to SD to see BFF, Babe and family. What a hoot. The sun was shining, the food was delicious and the company couldn't have been better. Honestly, sometimes I feel like a bit of a shit for living in Southern Cali because where else are they having a BBQ in the yard in January? Awesome. Anywho, it was BFF's sister Ang's birthday so we had to celebrate with some bratwurst and Fat Tire, of course! Then I met the nephew for the first time and got to see how big the niece has gotten. Man do I love me some BFFfamily.
I missed the football games but I'm disappointed the Saints lost. MamaBFF is stoked that the Bears won, though, so I'll revel in her happiness. And I can.not.believe. that the stinkin' Patriots lost. Mind you, I'm thrilled because at least now a Colts/Bears Superbowl wiill be a little less predictable than if the Pats went AGAIN but wow. Way to go, underdog.
On another front, Burbujas, if you still read this little blog of mine, San Diego will always remind me of you. Hell, the drive to the LBC reminds me of you. It seems like only yesterday that you and me and BFF and Babe were taking pictures on the Pacific Beach boardwalk near the pier. It never ceases to amaze me how vivid those memories still are, even after 5 years. I'm sure this is a bad idea to post but whatever. It's my blog. I figure it's probably the same for you, too.
MOVING ON! I start school today. Just thought everyone should know.


Wrap Up Haiku Friday

He arrived on time
Conversation was easy
And he paid. Bonus!
My car is all clean
Vehicular Manslaughter
Black cars are a pain
Sunday road trippin'
San Diego here I come
BFF and Fam


HNT Retiree

TaurusApril 19 - May 19
Throughout your day today, you may get the feeling that something has changed in the way people relate to each other, dear Taurus. It will be as if people were more sure of themselves, more open and expressive. And where exactly do you fit in to all of this? Are you in a mood to charm other people, just for fun? This period is perfect for taking care of your outward appearance and for getting in shape. Just do it!
Oh, MSN horoscope. Sometimes you're so dead on that it pains me. Sure, everyone has holiday weight gain but this morning I was near tears when I was trying on pants that I can no longer pass off as my size. My shirts are ill fitting and while I know my rack is impressive I have a feeling that the added "back fat" (really trying not to use the "f" word here but what else is it called?) probably wasn't helping to keep the buttons on my blouse from appearing like they were about to pop. There was also some self-belittling going on in the mirror but that's another story for another day. Am I saying I'm not pretty? No. I think I'm doing just fine in that category. Thanks to my amazing hairdresser I have a killer coif and I consider myself a skilled makeup artist so that base is also covered. However? As I dressed this morning, I wondered what was all that hard work at the gym with Perry the Gorgeous and all of the shameful morning weigh-ins at Weight Watchers for in early '06 if I was just going to turn around and put most of it back anyway? Muscle tone? A thing of the past. Sigh. I knew I was going back to the gym on Monday, starting the 5 a.m. regime once again but now it looms on the horizon a wee bit too close for comfort. I need boot camp. Or a gag.
Naturally most of these feelings of inadequacy are large and in charge because I have what some may consider a "date" this evening with someone I've never met face to face and I always get that "what if" tinge. What if my pictures are misleading? What if the remnants of my cold sore make him boot in his nachos? What if I have a "bat in the cave" the whole time we're talking and don't find out until I'm in the car on the ride home? AAAAAAARGH. Lucky for me, he seems hilarious and down to earth and incredibly smart and "above" all that superficial shit or I might really throw myself into some kind of tizzy.
But wait. There's more coming from the rambling mouth of Randi! I'm grateful that last week's HNT was cancelled because I've decided that I don't need it in '07. Sure, everyone's great and the self esteem boost from all the comments is a warm fuzzy but I just don't need the pressure. Or the whole process of picking out the one self-portrait totally lacking in body dimples or rolls. I've got a heavy school schedule that requires all of my focus and I'd rather spend my time taking pictures of others or beautiful scenery than myself. That's all. I'm just moving on. Thanks for a stellar ride. It's been real. It's been fun. It's been real fun.



Sometimes I'm utterly comfortable being a single gal on the brink of thirty. Most times, I think I've actually convinced myself that I don't need a man to be happy. Then, I will have a dream like the one I had last night and realize maybe I'd be open to the idea of a little romance. Mind you, I realize romance doesn't translate to relationship so let's just take a look at my dream, shall we? I dreamed of Jim from NBC's The Office. What a cutie! I've only watched a handful of episodes but I've seen the way he looks at Pam and the flirtatious way they act toward each other and I actually miss having that with someone. Anywho, back to the dream. I'm living in New York City and riding the subway and somehow Jim and I come together and sparks fly. The whole time we're kissing and flirty with each other I think of poor Pam and so does Jim but we realize we have to be together. This insanely happy aspect of my dream goes on for what seems like forever but inevitably it has to be ruined by something. The alarm clock, for once, was not the culprit. This time, it was my family to blame. I had to put the pedal to the metal and leave Jim's kisses and embraces because I had to get to a family birthday party and I was going to be late and knew all hell would break loose. Story.Of.My.Life. People, seriously.
On a side note, how is it that when you treat a man poorly he won't get off your jock but if you treat him like a king he kicks you to the curb? I just ask because I have had little to no contact with quasi-beau since the drunken Christmas party episode and who sends me a text message this morning to see if I'm back from London? You got it. QB. I wrote back: Got back on the 9th. Think he'll take the hint that I've been back over a week and have yet to call him? Nah. He'll probably end up buying me a diamond ring. Dumbass.


Shameless Band Plug

The utterly hilarious JJ at The Churning wants to spread the word about his band: The Codes. They're in Philadelphia so if that's your 'hood, check 'em out. I'm one of the "cool kids" because they're my myspace friend so that should be reason enough for you to check them out. Since he played the ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ game below (scroll down and click comments, ya lazy bitches!) and thought enough to link me on his site, I'm going to pimp The Codes here. All you have to do is click on their links. Hell, maybe you can link to them, too and they can be bigger than Jesus Christ. Look at me, acting like a club promoter. Picture me in a bikini on a street corner. Or don't.

On The Road To Wellness

Extreme nose blowing may result in a nose reminiscent of a reindeer named Rudolph. For relief, I recommend L'Occitane shea butter lightly dabbed above the upper lip and around the nostril area. I got a free sample over the holidays when I purchased a wee tube of their hand cream, an item (thanks to BFF) I simply can't live without. A travel sized tube is in my handbag at all times and the larger tube is always within reach in my work desk drawer. A dab'll generally do you so these little buggers last forever. There's my shameless product plug for the day.
Yesterday I told you my tiny apartment had to be bombed for two tiny bugs I found, right? Well I'm not sure how many bombs you use per square footage generally but I'm pretty sure the three they used in my tiny one-bedroom loft was at least one too many. When I opened the door I was greeted by a visible fog of death inducing spray. Yummy. Needless to say, last night after work I cleaned my apartment from top to bottom, every nook and cranny. That's not exactly something I'm prone to doing after an 8-hour work day but I was quite pleased with the results. Now I just wonder if all of the dishes in my cupboard are coated in a light frosting of deadly poison... Only time will tell. If my posts suddenly cease, I guess you'll know the answer. What I was going to say, though, is that cleaning my house gave me a burst of energy and I actually feel much better today. Coincidence? Could my cold have just run its course after 3 days? Perhaps. But cleaning may just be therapeutic. I shudder at the thought.
Also? I think that Nyquil and Dayquil Sinus are quite possibly gifts from God. That is all. Geez... you would think I blogged on commission...


A Case of the Mondays

Yes, it's true. I am sick once again. I feel the tingling of a cold sore on my upper lip and my lips in general feel like they've been dehydrated and run over a cheese grater. My nose is non-existent yet it still manages to produce snot and sneezes. Go figure. There is a canker sore or some other sort of bump on the tip of my tongue but it's not like it matters. My tongue no longer serves the purpose of taste. It's just an accumulator of some white, pasty mess reminiscent of bird doo. When I wake up, my teeth are coated in it, too. I hope no one's reading this over any sort of meal but guess what? I don't care. I'm sick and effing tired of being sick and effing tired. To top it off, stupid 24 premiere preempted my Fox Sunday night cartoons and that fills me with ire. I found some dumb bugs, a cockroach and some other pinchy looking devil, and now they have to bomb my apartment. GIVE ME A BREAK. Sigh. K. That's all. Pity party, table of one. I'm all set. Thank God for Starbucks Venti Zen & Refresh tea with three honeys. Seriously.


Do A Good Deed

Start the new year off right and fight cancer by spending your coin. I did it and so should you! All you have to do is click here and show a little love for my girl, Fyrchk and help blow her wee $500 goal right out of the water. I participated in the Relay for Life a year or so ago and it's legit and wonderful. I'm not sure I'll do a fundraiser this year so if you were going to give to me, give to her instead.
To quote Ben Stiller in Starsky & Hutch: No, seriously, come on, do it. Do it.

See? I totally participated!



Thanks, Shora, for a brilliant idea to fashion a wee statement using the letters of the alphabet in sequence. Clever, little devil.

A boy called Doug eagerly fastens girdles. He is just killing ladies, men, ninjas... Oh please question Randi seductively to understand visions while x-raying your zebras.

Go ahead, you give it a try!

TGI Haiku Friday

London pics are up
Ofoto* and, yes, Flickr
Can you see them all?
So busy at work
Not sure if vacay is worth
All of this "catch up"
Am I sick again?
Co-workers and airplane air
Cover your mouth, please!
*You shouldn't have to sign in to see the Ofoto link. Just click on that "Randi's Slideshow" thingy. Beware of unflipped pics, mucho multiples and "trying out the new camera" practice shots of low quality. If you have trouble, e-mail me at randi77 at gmail and I will hook you up. I don't want to overwhelm my blog with London pictures. Ta!



Per Shora's e-mail, "Os has cancelled HNT today because of the death of regular HNT'er... very sad. He's asking anyone that's posted to take them down. All the details are on his blog."

I took my photo down but would just like to make a comment. While a person's death is clearly a sad occasion we must never forget that their memory is a blessing and we should remember to celebrate their life well-lived. In that vein, I still wish all the regulars a Happy HNT. Another reminder to seize the day.


Home Again - Jiggity Jig

Thanks for missing me, you guys! I missed you, too. Other than sort of oversleeping yesterday and having to run through Heathrow to catch my flight home it was a great trip. But, as all vacations are, it was much too short. Just wanted to let you know I made it home safe and sound but I'm simply not ready to post anything too spectacular today. Get ready to see this blog turn into a bit of a travel diary once I get my photos uploaded. Can't wait to catch up!


Happy New Year!

I just wanted to wish you all a happy 2007 and bid you adieu until at least Tuesday the 10th. London Bridge and Big Ben are awaiting my arrival as I type this. As for resolutions, I could go on and on and list every little thing about me that I want to improve in the new year but how boring would that be to read through? I just want to be a better person. Whatever that entails, I shall attempt but that's really the goal. A better me in '07. I'll keep you posted on how that goes. May all of your resolutions be stress-free and may this year be a great one for all of you.