Some Thinking To Do

This could be a day of inner turmoil for you, dear Taurus. You will be rethinking some of your fundamental values and are unsure if they are still relevant to your life. It is clear that some soul-searching is in order for you. There are no right or wrong answers here, only what is in your heart. If your goal is to live authentically, then you will need to make some big changes in your life. But don't act rashly. Think things all the way through before taking action.

Sometimes my MSN horoscope is so dead on the money I find it hard to ignore. Yesterday was full of conflicting thoughts about how incidents went down with quasi-beau regarding the Christmas dinner and his blatant state of inebriation. There is that part of me, "the enabler," that wants to say this is the first time this has happened so there's really no need to make such a big deal out of it. He's a nice guy and he's fun to be around. Then there's that other part of me, the strong, educated woman that knows she is too good for that kind of disrespectful behavior. It can be taken either way - yes, I know that Sunday is his football day but he also knew I asked him to do this one favor for me and could have not gotten intoxicated for one day out of the year.
I'm not trying to toot my own horn here but it seems like almost once a day someone tells me how funny or smart I am, how beautiful, how nice I dress, what a pleasure I am to speak and work with or basically that I'm an all around swell gal. Some might even call me a catch. I guess what I'm getting at is, if I'm so wonderful and have so much going for me, why do I seem to attract these douche bags - who quite frankly almost all have some sort of alcohol problem - like moths to a flame?
Half of me says "ditch that loser" while the more insecure half of me doesn't want to be alone. It's almost like I'm willing to tolerate immaturity and disrespect just so I have someone to go out with a couple times a week. This post probably sounds a whole lot of pathetic but this is what I'm going through and I felt like I needed to get some words on the screen about it. You guys seem to know what you're talking about so drop me a line and tell me what you would do if your date was drunk before your Xmas party... especially if your date is already getting his second chance after you broke up with him once before for his partying ways.


Macca said...

Yikes. That's a tough situation.

My thoughts, for what they are worth:

Never ever be with someone to "not be alone". Not only are you selling yourself short, but you might even deflect someone else who is interested because you "have a boyfriend".

I try to make it a rule to never re-date someone I have broken up with. Nothing changes, even with time the things that used to drive you crazy about your sig other will resurface. Sex with them is fine though. So long ast there is no relationship (i'm guilty of using exes for booty calls)

My first thought when seeing that pic of you and quasi-beau in the pic was feeling sorry for you. If my gf was that wasted and she had to be in front of co-workers and my parents, I would have left her home. I'm sure everyone took it in stride and people didn't notice/care, but it seems sorta disrespectful.

Anywho, not a big fan of second chances with exes. You just run the chance of feeling the same hurt you had already felt the first time.

Bleh. I suck at advice.

Power to the people!

Buzz said...

It takes patience on your part but I'm confident you can find the beau you really desrve. Might include you partying and hanging in different circles to a degree, as well as taking up tennis or golf. But you shouldn't have to sacrifice your own personality.


becky said...

You deserve better. It's not baseball and he doesn't get 3 strikes. Just MHO

Rach said...

D't get me started on this subject honey. Firstly I went back to ex-boyf 4 times in 18 months and each time got no further than I did the time before. Never go back, unless you believe the reason you broke up not to be there anymore. He used to get wasted on a nightly basis and all I got was hungover man - not good. Secondly, I remember when we went out for dinner and I would arrive to pick him up to find he had already drunk a bottle of wine, and that was standard behaviour. It is just plain old disrespectful to you, as it was to me. I deserved better so got out for the last time and even though I am on my own, I am better for it, no one to let me down on regular basis, not be able to have sex because he is to wankered, or hungover each morning with the shakes. Extreme case maybe! I know you deserve better, and unless you really like this guy, maybe it is time to move on and find a regular guy who will treat you with the respect you and I know is owed to you. You are entitled to more than this and if you have doubts already, then your doubts are probably justified. Someone said to me once,
"If you accept crap from other people, eventually you end up believing that is all you are entitled to".
Whatever happens, we will support you, but it isn't better to be around someone like that just for the sake of a few dates a week. After a while those few dates have such a negative effect that it ricoches through your whole week, and brings you down.
And also, your hands can never hold on to something new until you let go of the past you have been holding on so tightly to. God I am ranting tonight honey, and this is without wine too! LOL. Hope that helps a little.

Rach said...

Oh and the hair rocks! So gorgeous!

Itchy said...

Personally, I would have left him at home. For good. Especially since this isn't new behavior.

Now we all know that I have esteem issues and all that...but I do believe what I'm about to say to you. I would much rather be alone than with someone who isn't going to care about my happiness. I can be unhappy alone. Hell, I can be happier alone than with someone who isn't going to consider my feelings.

What's more important? Missing one day of drinking so I can go with my girl to a Christmas party or being a jackass? Those are the questions that he needed to ask himself on Sunday.

And like Macca said, you could be missing out on real opportunities by being with what you already call your "quasi-beau."

That's just my two cents. Keep in mind that I'm not an expert. Also keep in mind that you ARE a wonderful person with a kind heart. You deserve someone who will keep that in mind always.

april said...

I completely agree with everything that Macca and Itchy said. Not trying to copp out of writing a comment, but no need for repetition, right?

And you are a catch. You're like the best catch of the year, or lifetime. =)

Sassy One said...

Never settle.

If you have doubts, there is a reason.

That's my not so clever advice.

Jessica said...

Good things come to those who wait (even if waiting is excruciating). Besides, you are WAY too cute for him.

exile said...

i could tell you why you always attract these assholes and how you could go the rest of your life without them

but i doubt you'd wanna hear it