Sorry, lurkers. Not you. Just the peeps on my "blog roll" (in the same order here as they are on the right)... a bit of a variation from what Os asked for but c'est la vie:
Darkness: A record deal for Nonetheless so generous as to afford you a lifetime supply of Tang and bacon.
Laurie: A pirate ship to sail in your new pool from which you could force the victims of your shank to walk the plank.
April: A realistic looking prosthetic like Paul McCartney's soon-to-be-ex wife's so you can wear open toe shoes again. Or that menage a trois I was talking to you about... Your call.
CP: A revival of your crutch-shot on that 25 peeps page. Not "crotch" shot, people. Minds out of the gutter. Or, you know, the world domination you're so suited for.
BFF: The completion of your paper, never-ending consumption of M.I.L.'s Christmas snackies without any weight gain and undisturbed R&R.
Rachel: A distinguished gentleman carrying flowers and a bottle of bubbly waiting for you in a limo just like in Pretty Woman to whisk you off for the date of your life.
Cute Overload Animals: Treats and woobies for you to play with!
Exile: One of those things like in Star Trek where you can "beam" from place to place in a snap so it would be easier for you to see Hella.
Buzz: A job in the 805!
The Ladies @ GFY: A never-ending parade of tacky dressers and an end to leggings.
HDW: A cruise that will erase only the bad memories of the one you took with Fyrchk.
Shora: A delicious bottle of my favorite Wild Horse Chardonnay... to be shared over a chat with me, of course!
Y: A refurbished kitchen so you needn't be ashamed even though it's really not that bad and people wouldn't take their eyes off G-Unit anyway.
Trucker: For all of your "fantasies" to come to life!
Hella: See Exile's wish above and reverse.
Fyrchk: A gang-bang by the hot firemen in the e-mail I sent you. But in a nice way!
Itchy: All the cute graphic tees you've ever searched for only in a perfect fit EVERY time because you're never to old to wear those. Never.
Crusty: Your PhD already so you can move back to Cali where it is warm and the ocean and Santa Barbara are only a stone's throw away.
Trent: For the celebs to continue acting like fools so you never run out of blog fodder.
The Senders-in at Post Secret: The comforting knowledge that you're not alone.
Rhys: A lifetime membership to Netflix so you can keep me posted on what movies I need to see.
Sassy: Your very first tattoo or that you can find our you're preggers just like Mary did 9 months and 2006 years ago. Sorry, Mr. Sass! It's immaculate all the way!
Macca: A naughty little minx in a nurse's outfit and white stiletto heels to do your bidding.
JJ & The Boys: For The Codes to get a record deal and for people to continue doing vulgar and strange shit so you can keep providing the commentary that tickles me so.
The Men, The Myths, The Legends: A lighter/easier course load so that you can be able to write more rants for me more often.
Dirk: For a book deal to put you on the top of the New York Times Best Seller list thus establishing a healthy boost to the ol' self-esteem thus leading you to the love you long for.
And Maine, though you blog no more, I wish you lots of bacon and Billy Corgan. Beetle, I hope you take 'em to town with the fantasy football that took you away from Stonecutters 2.0. Ok, lurkers, you win. I wish you all a very happy holiday whether it be celebrating the birth of baby Jesus, some miraculously long-burning oil lamps, Kwanzaa or simply giving mad props to Satan for a job well done on humanity as a whole these days. So... what do you wish me?
Speak up, lurkers! I can't hear you!