El Mas Chingon
Because it's slow here at the workplace (Seriously? The week twixt Christmas and New Year's should be required time off!) you get two (two!) posts for the price of one today. How lucky do you feel right now? Good! You should! Anyhoo, a while back my folks bid on a George Lopez show at the Universal Gibson Amphitheater at the Boys and Girls Club charity auction and last night was the night of the show. We had backstage passes and thought that we'd be going for a meet and greet but that was a farce and it was basically just free food and beverages and no potty lines. Whatevs. I haven't the slightest idea what I would have said to G-Lo had I met him anyway. You're funny? Yeah... So there were four whities (a.k.a. my mom, dad, brother and myself) and two Mexicans (sister-in-law and my guest) in our party. My brother and I can practically be considered honorary Mexicans because we've never dated other white people really and we both speak Spanish and... well, we're from Oxnard. My folks, on the other hand, are white. Sheet white. Snow white. Like, from Maine and North Dakota white. They've never really seen G-Lo but he basically shreds on the honkies all night. And last night Mr. Lopez was high on the pulpit about illegal immigration and said some politically charged not-so-nice things about the Governator and ungrateful white people to his sold-out crowd that was 95% Latino. Needless to say, my mom left quite offended but that's her shit for having no sense of humor. What was "not-so-fun" about last night were the fucktards behind us. I swear to Jesus I hate when people go "Whooooooooo" every time there is an ounce of silence in the amphitheater or try to make sure the act absolutely hears their laughter over everyone else in the audience. Christ Almighty. Not only that but they were wasted, like stinky wasted, and one of the bitches dropped her purse under my mom's seat and proceeded to slam into her repeatedly for several minutes while trying to retrieve it. Because God forbid we wait until the end of the show when the lights are on. Bastards. Then, the other bitch gets up and thinks clapping with a cocktail in her hand is appropriate behavior. Well it's not and I had a wet sweater to prove it. When I told her she was spilling on me she drunkenly replied, "That's ok." Um... no. It's not. To quote Ren, "Eeeeeeeediots." And don't even get me started on the cell phone usage during the show. Some people really ruin it for everyone and they generally sit right behind me. That's my luck I guess! Either way, if you get a chance, I highly recommend George Lopez. He's one funny man. This was my second time and I laughed just as hard, if not harder, as I did the first time.