Thank you for your interest in the Customer Service Representative I position with the City of Oxnard and your participation in the written examination.  Although you passed the examination, you did not pass high enough to move forward in the recruitment process.

I honestly thought I had done better than this. I was confident I had aced the dumb test at least. I mean, there were 100 candidates vying for 3-6 positions so I didn't think I'd be hired but I thought I'd at least qualify for an interview. Color me stunned. I guess I'm comforted that I can at least say last week I was not in the best frame of mind. I'd been running back and forth to see my dying Gran, taking Casey to the doctor and basically suffering from PMS. Oh well. An insider sent me this note:
I don't think they are offering these position to anyone after all.  Several people got lay-off notices a few weeks back and I believe they are looking at placing these individuals in these vacant spots. 

In Gran news, the other night she was taken from bed, put in a wheel chair and joined the others in the common room to listen to hymns. Mom and I were shocked she'd had such an upswing considering the last time we saw her she couldn't even keep her eyes open. Apparently it is not uncommon to go through these hills and valleys when one is nearing the end. She has not eaten at all in two weeks save for soup broth. She has had the occasional sip of liquid but nothing substantial. Yesterday, she told Mom and Bub she wanted lunch and a beer and though she didn't eat, she did partake in some near beer. She's not had a bowel movement in two weeks despite a suppository so I think an enema is next. Her blood pressure and heart rate are high to overcompensate for her body failing. It won't be long now but who knows how soon.
UPDATE: Mom and Bub went up to see her this morning and she didn't move a muscle. Her eyes are closed and her breathing is very shallow. Death is a confusing process.

And finally, in knock-me-over-with-a-feather news, yesterday it was announced that my employer has decided to make the company ESOP (Employee Stock Ownership Plan). I, along with 13 other coworkers, am now an owner of my company. Considering there are so few of us and we are such a profitable company, this is like striking the lottery. I won't see anything until I retire but boy am I glad to know I will be well taken care of. I think my dad is smiling down on this decision 100%. So I guess I'll be okay with being poor now knowing it will all turn out pretty well in the end.


A 405 Kind of Weekend Pics

 On Friday, Casey graduated from Pre-K. I'm a proud mama.
 Christa in party mode
 Figuring out bouncy houses are actually fun
 The birthday girl (pic courtesy of BFF's ma)
 Saturday night pre-storm rainbow
 And the other side
 Friday night cousins
 Saturday morning cousins: different day, same ottoman
 Weird rainbow cloud on the way to LAX to pick up Bubbo
 The Savage
Weight Lifting. God help me.


Gay Day Haiku Friday

Confederate flags 
Are coming down country wide
And now there is this
Good job, Supreme Court
Allowing the gays to wed
Equality rules
I wept tears of joy
Progress affects the future
Hopeful for my kids


In The City

Three months ago, almost to the day, I applied for two positions at the City of Oxnard. I used to work there before I came to my current job to work for my dad's company. Sometimes I regret leaving just because there is a stability to working for the City that I won't have here. Anyway, I saw a position and applied for it sort of half-assed because I wasn't stoked at how things were going here at my current job. Since then, though, my coworker left and my position has changed and I am feeling a little better about things. One position invited me for a test a couple weeks ago but I didn't go. When a second invitation for another test came along, I decided to take it for the experience of it all.
It's been over a decade since I last did the job hunt thing so I thought I'd go through it just so I'm not rusty. This morning I arrived to take the test wearing what I would wear to the office, just some black slacks and a nicer shirt with some flats. There were people there that were essentially wearing pajamas, piercings and bra straps and tattoos exposed for the world to see! Frankly that may make me sound practically Puritanical but I can't imagine not giving a shit even if it was for a Scantron test! There were about a hundred people - including the brother of one of my closest girlfriends - there and I saw maybe a dozen that actually looked like they tried to put their best foot forward as far as presentation goes.
We were given two hours to take an eighty question multiple choice test that focused on how to perform customer service and clerical duties. I'm an old pro as far as all that is concerned so I had no trouble at all. There were fifteen Spanish words and we were asked to provide the antonym. I felt pretty confident on all but maybe one word. I think I have the leg up on the competition for being somewhat bilingual and intelligent. I managed to breeze through the test in less than thirty minutes and at no point did I question any of my answers.
All those people were vying for three official positions and perhaps three more that were to open up somewhere down the line. It's at the dump and you have to be available to work between 6 a.m. and 6 p.m. so I assume the schedule shifts. Working on some Saturdays and holidays is required.  I'm pretty confident I had the 70% passing rate they were looking for. It would be a pay cut for me but I like the idea of selling myself and having the option of turning the job down should I actually make it to the interview and/or hiring process. I'm not exactly certain this is a position I'm even interested in but it would be nice to be on an eligibility list or for someone to think I'm a good candidate for something more fitting.
When the job was described it reminded me of the perks of my current job so I have some Zen now:
  • No holidays
  • No weekends
  • 8-5 every day
  • Flexibility to do all the things moms need to do
  • Good vacation
  • Retirement contributions
  • Less than ten minutes from my house
  • More money
  • End of the year bonus
  • No dress code
  • Very little actual supervision
  • Nice Christmas parties and Christmas gifts
  • I've literally known all my coworkers since I was a little girl
  • This is my dad's company
  • A fairly great salary in this area
Really the only real cons I have are:
  • My crazy micromanager boss who also happens to be a genuinely nice guy but doesn't seem to think I know how to do my job even though I have been doing it for nine years.
  • Sometimes feeling unequal distribution of work amongst my peers.
  • Office chair ass
  • No other women here 
  • Fear that our small company's time is limited despite being really successful.
It's an interesting time. I like it. I can't wait to see where this goes...



It has been a week and a half now since Gran was in the ER. I have been to see her four times since she has been on hospice and there doesn't seem to be much of a change. We are all trying to prepare for her death but that in and of itself is a very stressful feeling to have for more than a couple of days especially because she can live anywhere from a few days to a few months and no one really knows. She has not eaten solid foods or had a BM in a week now. She takes a couple sips of Ensure a day but other than that, she is bedridden. She sometimes cries out in pain or mumbles in weepy incoherence but mostly she just lies there with her eyes closed and tells us how tired she is.
My mother is handling her mother's death a lot like she handled the death of my father, very business-like with a faux strength. I finally had to intervene a bit and remind her that despite the last several hard years of Gran becoming her "burden" she is still her mother and this is a time for grieving and connecting, not a time for making plans and arrangements. I convinced her to ask my uncle to come from Germany to help during these trying times seeing as there is only so much support my brother and I can offer considering he and I both work full-time, have our own spouses and have children to tend to. She conceded and admitted that she could use the moral support and didn't mean to stretch us so thing.

Here's what the rest of the foreseeable future looks like and when I think about it I kind of start wigging out:
Tonight: Husband on call, dinner at my brother's.
Tomorrow: I go for a test for a new position. Husband goes to the VA in the valley to be assessed for further benefits. Husband on call.
Friday: Casey's pre-K graduation, my filling
Saturday: Sasha's bday party, Husband on call from 7p - 7a.
Sunday: Husband on call from 7a - 7p (yes that is 24 straight hours), me picking up Uncle from LAX. Was supposed to see some out of town friends for brunch but I think that's not happening now.
Monday: Husband on call again and I know this is when my period comes because now is the time for PMS, the time for PMS is now.
Friday: No work but I have both kids and no husband.
Saturday: 4th of July which is actually going to be super nice and fun (god-willing) but it's still a "thing."
Monday: No work but I have Christa. Was planning a visit to BFF & Co.
Tuesday: No work but I have both kids and have to take Casey to the ENT (and that means surgery or more tests or evaluations will follow shortly thereafter)
Wednesday: Paying the piper for having that many days off work
Saturday: Uncle leaves and neighborhood-wide yard sale participation because we're going to have to get rid of the things Gran had in her apartment (assuming she passes).

I mean, this is in addition to just living, being a mom, working at my job. You know... regular stuff. Then on top of it I assume Gran will die and things will need to be done in accordance with all of that. This has me taking Xanax, losing my patience, not sleeping, no focus at work, hurt feelings, lots of crying... I'm trying to distract myself with 20-year high school reunion planning but I think that distraction may be a hidden stress cloaked in party planning? I just don't know any more. I was thanked for meddling but called a meddler nonetheless. Sometimes I just wish I could have a real vacation. Somewhere quiet, near a body of water, with no driving involved and just play time with my children and their dad. Is that so much to ask?

MORAL OF THAT STORY: "The Scooby-Doo gang were meddlers, too, and they always saved the day." - My ever so supportive Husband. (Sadly, I am going to have to quit the rolling with Scooby and company real dang soon if it means I am losing my shit all the time.)


Weekend Pics

 Friday we were referred to an ENT specialist because those tonsils, and likely adnoids, have to go. Here we were killing time in the waiting room.
 Saturday was haircut day because he has to look sharp for graduation!
 We went to the Hueneme pier and stumbled upon a Farmers Market and played in the sand. The weather was warm and gorgeous all weekend.
 Christa in our sandbox looking like she's in paradise.
 A friend and I went scoping spots for an alleged 20-year reunion. We hit the new Topa Topa Brewery in Ventura. I wasn't impressed but I drank the beer nonetheless. Shocking.
 Sunday Morning Happy Faces
 Happy Fathers Day


Haiku Friday

A proud mom today
Casey's pre-K review was
Positively great
His teacher hugged me
Said I was such a neat mom
I was so flattered
He excels because
I participate and care
That's called "parenting."