Casey Will Be 4 Haiku Friday

 Just a few days old
With a cute little pucker
Just like his daddy
 A year just flew by
Curls to spare on his wee head
The best toes in town
And then he was two
And obsessed with Pixar's Cars
Brought them everywhere
Where'd my baby go?
Three years old and a big boy
A mind of his own
Sunday he'll be four
And on his way to Pre-K
A great big brother


Christa Tuesday - 26 Weeks

This photo was taken yesterday. My little girl is six months old. Half a year has flown by. How is this possible when I feel like I just brought her home from the hospital? Being pregnant seems like yesterday! She is sitting up pretty well now and managed to remain upright for her JCPenney pictures so that was super cute. Only six more months of living at that department store so I just can't wait for that to be done.
Christa is still working on mama and baba. She is very chatty lately and is puckering up her lips and blowing raspberries. She's also been crying a lot more than usual and I am going to blame that on a growth spurt because her appetite is insatiable. I think she also might just be frustrated that she's not able to really move on her own. She's not crawling yet but I think it is only a matter of time because she has been rolling from tummy to back and back to tummy like it is her job.
Other than that, it's just the same old baby stuff. She loves to grab things and shove them in her mouth. That 6 month sign only lasted about 1 minute after it was made because she tried to devour it. One thing I absolutely adore is that if I smile at her, she smiles back. "Beams" even, that's probably a better description. She also seems to know that her name is Christa so she'll look at you when you say her name. She's just a darn pleasure to have around and I can't get enough of her.


Mid-August Haiku Friday

Our family portrait
Has been postponed because of
Damaged male faces
Casey's eye's swollen
And Husband has broken out
Like a teenager
This week has been rough
Not sleeping and work's a bear
So beer me. Thank you.


Depression Hurts Everywhere

Because news of the passing of Robin Williams has been unavoidable, the topic of depression is being discussed openly and frequently. I decided to do a search on my use of the word "depression" here on the old blog and there were quite a few posts that popped up. I have definitely had my struggles over the years with this very topic although there has only been one instance when suicide became sort of a reality in my life. I don't think I knew at that time what depression was but I found myself frequently thinking terrible thoughts while I was driving that focused on self harm. I thought about what it would be like to drive the car off a cliff or into the center divider. I wondered what would happen if I threw myself from a car in motion if I was a passenger. It wasn't just a one-time thing, it went on for months.
Finally, one day, I found myself crying uncontrollably at work. It is sort of a stressful place sometimes and that day I guess I cracked. For some reason, I just ended up telling my boss and my dad that I was thinking terrible thoughts about hurting or killing myself. It wasn't a plan to commit suicide, but the thoughts definitely were fatalistic in nature. My boss gave me the number to a suicide hotline and to a psychologist his daughter used when she went through a nasty bout of depression. I remember calling that suicide hotline and wondering what the fuck I was doing, but I did it. And somehow it actually made me feel better.
I went to that therapist a few times and we talked at length about many, many things. At some point we concluded that I was pretty self aware and that maybe we had reached the point that therapy wasn't really going to be the solution to these thoughts. I talked to my doctor and we tried Prozac and Zoloft. I was medicated for years and eventually, just weaned off of them. I remember the shame and embarrassment I had because I was on anti-depressants but it seemed to pale in comparison to actually being depressed. I'm so glad I had people I trusted that I could turn to and talk to. I'm so grateful my harmful thoughts never became a reality.
In reading about depression and suicide in the wake of Robin Williams taking his own life, it has been interesting to see so many varying thoughts and perspectives. It's good to see discussions that weren't happening two days ago. It's very clear that the United States needs to shift its perspective and treatment of mental health issues and perhaps this is the catalyst. Silver linings are everywhere, we just need to look for them.


Christa Tuesday - 25 Weeks

I took the picture on the left in the garage last night after we got home from visiting my brother nad his family for Auntie's birthday. It's funny to see how much she fills out her car seat now compared to when we were bringing her home from the hospital. She's so big! Time is going by so quickly. She doesn't even resemble the baby we brought home. Thank the stars above, she is back to sleeping through the night which is so lovely. She has been consistently sleeping from 8-5 and I hope that remains the norm.
Christa's big accomplishment this week is sitting up for longer periods of time unassisted. When she tips over she basically splats on her face but while she's sitting her posture is rigid and upright. It's really cute. She also has been doing this thing when she's on her back where she will do an abdominal crunch as if she's trying to sit up. I think she's working on her core (#crossfit). She is also working on reaching and grabbing anything she can and shoving it into her mouth.
Other than that, it's just baby stuff. She's been working on saying "mom" I think. Lots of "M" sounds. Mum. Mama. Mom. That kind of thing. She was working on her Bs for a while but that got put on the back burner. She was sort of coughing last night because that was a sound she could make but not because she was coughing. She's also giggling a lot more and her tickle spot is above her left boob. A laugh is guaranteed if I pretend to eat her and gum her right there while saying nom nom nom. She's also ticklish under her chin around her collar bones. Nothing is sweeter than that laugh.


Movie Review Monday

Remember all the plans I told you I had for the weekend on Haiku Friday? Only one of them came to fruition thanks to Casey coming down with some crazy random tummy bug that had him on the potty pretty much all day on Saturday. I lost track around thirty flushes, poor fella. Sunday was better but we wanted to take it super easy so the only time we left the house all weekend was to see a matinee of Guardians of the Galaxy. Casey has been pretty obsessed with the idea of this movie and has seen the trailers about a million times but I'll admit I was apprehensive about taking a nearly-four-year old to a PG-13 movie.
While there is definitely some "language" in this movie, it's not much different from what he hears coming out of my mouth on any given day. The violence is no more than what he watches in his superhero cartoons on TV. It's nonstop action but beyond that, I laughed my butt off. I was telling Husband, this is a sci-fi-ish superhero movie but it didn't try to be all futuristic and unapproachable. It was totally silly and just all around awesome. I think the soundtrack really set a lighthearted and fun tone that made it all seem sort of unable to be dated despite it being set in present day time, if that makes sense.
I've been in love with Chris Pratt for years thanks to the loveable, doughy goof he plays on Parks & Recreation, but as Starlord, Andy Dwyer turns into a bona fide movie star. He's so dang charming (and handsome and ripped!) and I can absolutely see where the Harrison Ford/Han Solo comparisons are coming from. It seems silly to say, but I was absolutely smitten with Groot (who is basically a tree). Casey was enamored with Rocket the Raccoon. Drax the Destroyer was so very funny and totally huge. I didn't exactly care about Gamora, though. Sorry. I wish I did because I think the girls need someone to look up to but she was just not the one for me.
Casey loved this movie a whole lot, as did Husband and I. Casey even turned around mid-film and informed me he wanted the Guardians of the Galaxy Legos for his birthday. Sold! Anyway, talk about a summer blockbuster. Go see it. I'm offering a money back guarantee. Seriously. I literally wanted to watch it again immediately.

And since there should be at least one weekend picture, here is one I took of the boy in the lobby of the theater because he loves the Ninja Turtles. I think he's over me taking his picture all the time. What do you think?


Haiku Friday

Eventful weekend
We're trying to hit the fair
It's Christa's first time! 
And saying goodbye
To our good friends in Long Beach
That will be so sad
Maybe Guardians
Of the Galaxy as well
Bringing the boy child